Ancestor Veneration
Ancestor veneration, or the honoring of deceased family members, is an important part of
Chinese life. According to traditional Chinese beliefs, people have 10 souls, three of which play
important roles in the lives of their descendents. When a person dies, one soul enters an ancestral
tablet. This tablet contains the name of the deceased and other important information about him
or her. The tablet is placed in a family shrine, and the family burns incense and makes food
offerings before this altar.
The second soul remains in the grave. Each April, many families observe Tomb-Sweeping Day,
or Qing Ming (CHING-MING). On this day, family members visit the graves of their ancestors.
They sweep the graves free of dirt, pull weeks, and place flowers and offerings of food and drink
in front of the tombs.
The Chinese believe the third soul enters heaven, where it has a direct connection to God. They
believe that their ancestors depend on the living to fulfill their need for respect, money, and food.
The deceased also have the power to cause good or bad luck, and will help or curse their
descendents based on how well they have been honored.
Birth Ceremonies
Traditionally, the birth of a child in China is a joyous event that is accompanied by numerous
ceremonies. The ceremonies differ from region to region, but some parents announce the child’s
arrival by placing a marker on the front door. If the child is a boy, they put a bow on the left side
of the door. If it is a girl, they place a handkerchief on the right side.
When the newborn is one month old, the naming ceremony takes place. This ceremony
traditionally occurs one month after the child’s birth because in past times many children died
before they were a month old. Parents give eggs to relatives and friends to announce the birth
and the upcoming celebration. The eggs represent new life, and they are dyed red (the color of
luck).
On the appointed day, the parents shave the child’s head and give her or him a first name. The
parents then offer prayers at the family altar, asking ancestors and gods to bless the child with a
long life. Another relative takes the child and makes offerings at the ancestral temple to request
health for the child.
After the ceremonies, the family has a banquet. Traditionally, the banquet table holds two bowls:
one containing ginger, and the other holding red eggs. Guests bring the family gifts of gold and
silver jewelry, clothes, and money folded in red paper.
Death and Mourning
Traditional Chinese families conduct elaborate ceremonies to honor their dead relatives. When a
family member dies, it is traditional for the family to place white paper on or around the front
door to indicate that a tragedy has occurred. The family also sends cards to friends and relatives
to announce the death. Friends and relatives often bring the family food and money to help pay
for the funeral.
On the day of the funeral, it is traditional for the family members to dress in white, the traditional
color of mourning. They bow and kneel before the coffin. Several men pull or carry the coffin in
a long procession that leads to the burial site. A person holding a paper banner intended to drive
away evil spirits may lead the procession. Next comes a band, followed by the coffin-bearers and
mourners. Sometimes mourners in the procession walk backward in front of the coffin to show
their grief.
Following the funeral, there is a period of mourning. At the end of this period, family members
burn various items made of paper, including money, models of cars, clothes, and houses made of
paper. They believe that the deceased might need these items in the next life. After the period of
mourning is over, the family continues to hold regular ceremonies to honor their ancestors.
Family Structure
Many modern Chinese families are composed of at least three generations. The traditional
Chinese family is composed of at least three generations: an elderly couple (grandparents); adult
sons, their wives, and unmarried daughters; and the children of the sons. Elder members are
greatly respected in Chinese families because they carry the wisdom of the past. Younger family
members are expected to listen to, learn from, obey, and treat their elders with respect at all
times.
As the eldest male, the grandfather typically has the most authority in the household. The
grandmother also holds a great deal of power in the family. She has authority over the younger
women and is respected by all. While sometimes strict, grandparents tend to spoil their
grandchildren. All older family members—grandparents, aunts, uncles—have the right and
obligation to assist in raising the children. However, fathers and mothers have the primary
responsibility to teach and discipline their children. Daughters tend to be closest to their mothers,
while sons are often close to both parents.
Traditionally, Chinese families have valued boys more highly than girls. This is partly due to the
fact that girls left the family when they got married, and thus could not carry on family
traditions. According to Chinese tradition, boys carry on the family name, add to the family’s
wealth, and conduct ceremonies to honor the family’s ancestors.
Filial Piety
Filial piety, devotion to and respect for one’s elders, is the most important of all Chinese virtues,
and disobedience is a serious offense. Filial piety is the belief that children should obey, please,
and support their parents when they are alive. Children are also expected to mourn and honor, or
venerate, their parents after their death.
According to ancient Chinese tradition, filial piety consists of three levels. The highest is to
honor one’s parents by achievement. The next is not to disgrace oneself so as to reflect poorly on
one’s parents. The third is to support one’s parents throughout their old age.
In Chinese society, filial piety extends beyond respect for one’s parents to respect for elders in
general. Chinese are expected to treat anyone older with honor, both in and outside the family, as
with neighbors, teachers, employers, co-workers, and friends.
According to Confucius, filial piety is also based on mutual respect—a healthy, helpful, and
honorable relationship between the young and the old, the teacher and the student. Each person
honors and learns from the other. Confucian teaching also states that law or government cannot
be more important than maintaining individual human relationships. The young should respect
and honor the elderly, learn from them, and assist or guide them.
Traditional Home Design
The design of traditional Chinese homes reflects the idea that the family exists as one unit.
Rather than facing outward toward the neighborhood, Chinese homes face inward and are often
surrounded by traditional walls that allow only the rooftops to be visible to those outside.
Entering a traditional home involves passing through a gate or door, stepping over a raised
threshold, and usually walking around a screen. The raised threshold is a one-foot-high barrier
that prevents water, mud, and other debris from entering the home. The wooden screen behind
the gate prevents people from looking inside when the gate is open. The raised threshold and the
wooden screen serve another purpose as well: keeping out ghosts and evil spirits.
Many Chinese believe that ghosts hover a few inches above the ground and move in a straight
line, unable to move up or down, or turn right or left. It is believed that any unwanted spirits that
pass through the gate are prevented from entering the house by the raised threshold, which is too
high for them to cross. Some Chinese also believe that the screen stops the ghosts, who cannot
move around it.
Most traditional homes contain rooms without doors, allowing free movement from one room to
the next. Many Chinese build their traditional homes with connecting rooms arranged around a
courtyard. Such a plan symbolizes the idea that the generations making up a family form a single
unit.
Naming Traditions
Chinese names differ from Western names in many ways. One important difference is that a
Chinese surname, or family name, comes before a first, or given, name. For example, if a
person’s given name is Mei-ling, and her surname is Li, people would call her Li Mei-ling.
Originally, Chinese surnames indicated the village in which a person lived, or the family to
which the person belonged. Surnames originated to make sure people related on their father’s
side did not marry: two people with the same surname were not allowed to marry.
In 627 B.C.E. the Chinese conducted a survey that found there were 593 different surnames in
the entire country. Because of the limited number of surnames, people’s given names became
especially important.
All Chinese given names have a specific meaning. The meaning might relate to the place of
birth, the name of a relative or friend, or a desired characteristic. For instance, girls’ names are
often based on the names of flowers or beautiful objects. Boys’ names often indicate strength or
courage. Children are also often called by nicknames composed of a name said twice, such as
“Tan Tan.”
Traditional Marriages and Weddings
Marriage traditions in China vary widely from region to region. Until the mid-1900s, Chinese
parents usually arranged their children’s marriages. Some brides and grooms did not even meet
until just before the wedding. Today most Chinese choose their own spouses. However, parents
still play an important part in bringing couples together. In some regions, parents or go-betweens
still arrange marriages In others, parents arrange a formal meeting, called a xiang qin (SHEEAHNG-CHIN), where family members introduce a young man and woman. If the couple
becomes engaged, parents may consult an astrologer to determine a favorable wedding date and
time. Then the fiancée usually visits her future husband’s family and serves them tea. In return,
they give her gifts of money in red envelopes.
On the wedding day, the groom goes to the bride’s house, where the couple eats a farewell meal
with the bride’s family. The couple then goes to the groom’s house, where they are married. The
bride traditionally wears a red dress and a red silk veil to cover her face. The groom wears a dark
suit, dark shoes, and a red silk sash. During the ceremony, the couple burn incense at the family
altar to pay respect to the groom’s ancestors. After the wedding, the family holds a banquet,
where the couple receives gifts of money in red envelopes.