CHSA Health Institute
Stages of Change and Effective Communication Skills:
Strategies to Increase Parent’s Responsiveness to their Child’s Health
Needs
May 21, 2013
Presented by: Tracy Tomasky, Ed.D
Tracy@chrysaliscoachingsacramento.com
(916) 304-5511
CHSA Health Institute:
Change and Effective Communication Skills
I.
Understanding Change
 Definition
 Identify where you are in the 20-60-20 equation
 Two Models of Change
 Individual Reflection
II.
Foundation of Effective Communication
 Sender-Receiver: Verbal and Non-verbal cues
 Root Issues
i. What are they?
ii. What are your root issues that impact communication?

Listening Intents
i. How to prepare the appropriate listening intent
III.
Motivational Interviewing
 Definition
IV.
Role of Resistance
 When parents don’t follow through with their requirements:
i. Are they resisting change?
Is it a root issue - Are they resisting authority?
Are they over-whelmed or unorganized?
Are they unclear with what is expected of them?
ii. Response strategies
V.
Putting it all together – Change/Communication/MI
Models of Change
Kurt Lewin: Unfreezing--------Moving--------Refreezing
Unfreezing: brings up emotions, equated as bad morale
Moving: new point of view, cognitive restructuring, seeing that change is possible
Refreezing: integrating and anchoring the new view
William Bridges: Endings--------The Neutral Zone--------Beginning
Endings: what are you leaving behind
The Neutral Zone: reorientation, redefinition
Beginning: starting with the new view
Reflection
Reflect on a time when something in your life changed. Focus on the emotions associated with
the process.
Experimenting with New Behaviors

Take a different route to work tomorrow.

Spend your lunch hour in a totally new way.

Force yourself to pause for a count of three the next time someone asks you a question,
and reply differently from what you’d customarily say.

Plan to do something this week-end you’ve never done before.

Every day this week force yourself to say “no” to at least one request.

Volunteer to something you normally wouldn’t agree to.

Ask somebody that question you’ve always wanted to ask him or her.

Next time you’re in a restaurant, order something you’ve never had before.

Take a three-minute break every hour (or five minutes every two hours) today.

Every day this week, find at least one occasion when someone is talking about how things
have to be a certain way and ask why?

Every day this week, look for a chance to say why not? to someone who says that
something can’t be done.
Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, William Bridges 1991
Communication Basics:
Words – 7%
Tonality – 38%
Physiology – 55%
I know you believe you understand
what you think I said, but I am not
sure you realize that what you heard
is not what I meant.
Root Issues:
My root issues that impact communication:
Listening Intent
To win - flight/fight




argue & debate
question to probe for weakness
use active listening to promote your win
use the force of words & debate to win your point of view at any cost & minimal
concern for the relationship
To persuade - reactive




discuss to sell or win over
question to probe for concerns, for opportunity for closure
use active listening to understand objections & to guide discussion
use of words to negotiate a compromise while maintaining the relationship
To learn – mindfulness/intuitive/creative




dialogue to learn & understand
questions for inquiry, clarification & insight
use active listening for support, engagement & understanding
build new ideas & options through a synergistic interaction that strengthen the
relationship
To be present - mindfulness




give & take interaction to be with each other
questions to build rapport, connection & understanding
use active listening to connect & support
builds the relationship with little importance placed on outcomes
Listening with the appropriate intent:
Resistance and Response Strategies
When parents don’t follow through with their requirements:
Are they resisting change?
Is it a root issue - Are they resisting authority?
Are they over-whelmed or unorganized?
Are they unclear with what is expected of them?
Additional Notes: