Native Tongue exercise
What is your communication style? Consider each item carefully, then circle T or
F to indicate whether you find it generally true or false. Your answers will be selfscored and kept private.
1. I usually work hard at winning people over to my way of thinking. T
F
2. When I have a strong belief, I intentionally state my opinions tentatively
rather than boldly. T
F
3. I frequently find it difficult to clarify ambiguous, abstract, or very
complicated ideas. T
F
4. When others get caught up in name calling or talking about them, I find it easy to join in. T F
5. I rarely walk away from a tense situation – even if it might result in a heated argument. T F
6. When others seem to be holding back an idea or strong opinion, I’m not very good at getting
then to open up. T F
7. In a risky situation, I encourage others to express their opinions, but have the good sense to
keep my own beliefs to myself. T F
8. There are times I verbally abuse somebody – when it’s necessary to meet tan important
objective. T F
9. When others state things in a vague way, I often find it hard to ask the right questions so that
issues become clear. T F
10. I typically persist in stating my arguments until I win the point. T F
11. When I see that a conversation seems to be leading nowhere, I often stop and check to see
just what the other person wants from the discussion. T F
12. After making a strong point, I intentionally soften my stance by ending with a question. T F
13. Sometimes, I’ve been know to use terms such as bean counters, jerks or nerds. T F
14. I don’t shy away forma discussion, even if it means a confrontation with a hostile person or
group. T F
15. It’s better to hold back negative feedback than to hurt someone’s feelings. T F
16. I often choose to learn as much as possible about other’s opinion, without revealing my own.
TF
17. To be honest, there are times that I am abrasive – if the situation warrants it. T F
18. Rather that come right out and say something controversial, I tend to sneak up on the topic
through hints and innuendo. T F
19. People who know me would say that I try to win most of my arguments. T F
20. When others are bothering me, I tend to bottle up my feelings, rather than confront them.
TF
21. When a discussion seems to be aimless, I’m good at making sure my wants are clear. T F
22. When poking fun at others, I feel free to use terms such as shorty, big guy or blondie. T F
23. Even when it’s potentially painful, I usually walk right up to and face people with whom I’m
having a disagreement. T F
24. When I’m convinced that others are dead wrong, rather than jump in with a correction or
explanation, I intentionally ask probing questions. T F
25. Sometimes, I like to get others to express their points of view, while holding back on my own.
TF
26. At times, circumstances have demanded that I go beyond attacking the other person’s
arguments – to the point where I’ve had to verbally abuse the other person. T F
27. I avoid saying what I think if it means that my bosses may believe the I’m a bit too
opinionated. T F