First published in Australia in 1993,
Second edition published in Australia in 2008 by
The Conflict Resolution Network
PO Box 1016
Chatswood NSW 2057
Australia
Ph+61 2 9419 8500 Fax +61 2 9413 1148
Email: crn@crnhq.org
Web: www.crnhq.org
© 1993, 2008 The Conflict Resolution Network
ABN 88 000 823 450
In the interests of promoting the skills for a peaceful world, any part of this manual may be freely reproduced for participants, included in new training manuals, articles and books or adapted, without seeking our permission. However, acknowledgement of Conflict Resolution Network and its contact details must be included with any content used.
Please let us know about the uses you have made of the material. That is our best reward.
Cataloguing Data
Hollier, Fiona.
Conflict Resolution Trainers’ Manual: 12 Skills, 2 nd edition.
ISBN 0 9587911 5 5
1. Conflict management. 2. Communication skills.
3. Teambuilding. 4. Relationships
5. Peace studies
I. Murray, Kerrie. II Cornelius, Helena. III. Title.
302.3
Written by Fiona Holier, Kerrie Murray and Helena Cornelius
Typeset by David Smith and Julianne Wargren
Illustrated and designed by Susan Owen and Sonya Page-Smith

This manual has been many years in the making. Conflict Resolution Network first started developing and collecting this material in 1986 as part of its core purpose to research, develop, teach and implement the theory and practice of Conflict Resolution and make the skills easily accessible world-wide.
This manual represents the collected wisdom of many great writers in the fields of management, psychology, personal development and education – many of whom are acknowledged in references throughout the manual.
It represents also the contributions of the thousands of participants as they have worked through the materials on CR courses.
We have been privileged to have the advice of many highly skilled trainers who have shown us better ways to conduct segments and offered us new teaching points and experiential exercises.
May we thank them all collectively and specially acknowledge:
Caroline Butler, Stella Cornelius, Thomas Crum, Shoshana Faire, Robyn Gaspari, Jan
Grant, Christine James, Robert Kyosaki, Vanessa Lynne, Lis Moller, Jan Paton, Greg
Tillett, Judy Walker, Stuart Walker and Julie Wells.
This second edition, directed by Helena Cornelius, represents countless hours of the most caring and dedicated work. David Smith, Estella Cornelius, Julianne Wargren and Nancy
Shearer should be especially acknowledged in this process. All have held the vision of making a cost-free digital version for our website, which is up-to-date and fully accessible for students and trainers.
We expect this material to continue to evolve and welcome your comments, suggestions and ideas for updating in the future.

I
I Running CR Courses
II Icebreakers and Energisers
III Understanding Conflict
1. The Win/Win Approach
2. Creative Response
3. Empathy
4. Appropriate Assertiveness
5. Co-operative Power
6. Managing Emotions
7. Willingness to Resolve
8. Mapping the Conflict
9. Designing Options
10. Negotiation
11. Mediation
12. Broadening perspectives
IV Aikido
V Bioenergetics

Core Material:
A. Experiential Learning and CR
B. Training Hints
C. Ethical Considerations in Training
D. Constructing Courses
E. How to use the Conflict Resolution Manual – 12 Skills
F. Acknowledging The Conflict Resolution Network
G. A Practical Guide to Becoming a Trainer in
Conflict Resolution Skills
H. Bibliography, Recommended Reading and DVDs/Videos
Handouts:
Section C: Course Evaluation
Core Material:
A. Icebreakers: Rationale
B. Icebreakers: Method
C. Energisers: Rationale
D. Energisers: Method
E. Variations
Activities:
Outcomes Introduction
Introductions
Name Game
“I’d like you all to meet…”
Mindchatter
Knots
Group Story Telling
E.S.P.
Thunderstorm
I.12
I.14
H. I.20
A.II.1
A.II.3
A.II.4
A.II.5
A.II.6
A.II.7
A.II.8
A.II.9
A.II.11
I.2
I.4
I.5
I.6
I.8
I.11
II.2
II.2
II.2
II.3
II.3

Zip, Zap, Boing, Pop
Rhythm, Rhyme and Association
Core Material:
A. About Conflict
B. Introductions and Setting Goals for the Course
C. Recalling Personal Experience of Conflict
D. Levels of Conflict
E. The Tools of Conflict Resolution
F. Conclusion 7
Handouts:
Section D: Levels of Conflict Exercise
Levels of Conflict
Core Material:
A. Stimulus Activity
B. How We Behave in Conflict
C. A Model for Understanding Behaviour in Conflict
D. The Principles of a Win/Win Approach
E. When Win/Win Seems Impossible
F. Concluding Comments
Activities:
The Handshake Exercise
The Arm Wrestling Exercise
Handouts:
Section C:
Section E:
Behaviours in Conflict
Fight, Flight, Flow: Some Behaviours
When Win/Win Seems Impossible
Key Features of the Win/Win Approach
A.II.12
A.II.13
H.III.1
H.III.2
A.1.1
A.1.3
III.2
III.2
III.3
III.4
III.7
1.2
1.2
1.3
1.7
1.11
1.12
H.1.1
H.1.2
H.1.3
H.1.4

Core Material:
A. Stimulus Activity
B. Exploring Our Responses to Conflict:
React or Respond
C. Two Models for Approaching Conflict:
Perfection and Discovery
D. Looking for the Positive in Conflict
E. An Action Program for Developing More
Creative Responses to Conflict
Activities:
The Block Puzzle
Handouts:
Section C: Perfection and Discovery Approaches
Core Material:
A. Exploring the Meaning of Empathy
B. Valuing Differences – the DISC Exercise
C. Introduction to Empathy Blockers
D. Detailed Look at Empathy Blockers
E. Concluding Discussion: Empathy Blockers
F. Introduction to Active Listening
G. Listening to Gain Information
H. Asking Questions
I. Listening to Give Affirmation
J. Listening When under Verbal Attack – to Deal with
Another's Inflammation
K. Reflection on Listening
Activities:
The DISC Exercise
Blocking Communication
Experiencing Empathy Blockers
Experiencing the Difference Between Empathy
Blockers and Active Listening
A.2.1
H.2.1
A.3.1
A.3.9
A.3.10
A.3.12
3.6
3.7
3.9
3.9
3.11
3.3
3.4
3.4
3.5
3.14
3.16
2.2
2.2
2.4
2.6
2.7

Static
Back-to-Back Drawing
Shopping List
Identifying Feelings and Responding
Active Listening to Affirm
Handouts:
Section B:
Section D:
Section E:
Section I:
Section K:
Behavioural Style Questionnaire
DISC Model
Differences in Behavioural Style
Empathy Blockers
Create Empathy
Identifying Feelings and Responding
Active Listening... Some Helpful Hints
Active Listening for Different Purposes
Listen
Core Material:
A. Distinguishing between Aggressive, Passive and
Assertive Behaviour
B. Understanding our Responses to Conflict
C. Needs and Rights
D. "I" Statements
E. After an "I" Statement: Where to Next?
F. Additional Assertiveness Activities
Activities:
React or Respond
Creating a Bill of Assertive Rights
Formulating "I" Statements
Experiencing the Difference between Aggressive and
Assertive Styles
Broken Record Technique
Handouts:
Section A: Will you React or Respond?
Fight, Flight, Flow
A.3.14
A.3.15
A.3.17
A.3.19
A.3.20
H.3.1
H.3.2
H.3.3
H.3.4
H.3.5
H.3.6
H.3.7
H.3.8
H.3.9
A.4.1
A.4.3
A.4.5
A.4.7
A.4.9
4.3
4.4
4.5
4.6
4.13
4.15
H.4.1
H.4.2

Section C:
Section D:
A Bill of Assertive Rights
"I" Statements
Core Material:
A. Stimulus Activity
B. Introduction to Power
C. Power Bases
D. Power Game Relationships – Persecuting,
Rescuing and Playing Victim Triangle
E. Discovery Circle
F. Personal Power
G. Transforming "I should'' to "I choose''
H. Shifting Away from Demand Behaviour
I. Exploring Positive Outcomes from the Past
J. Dealing with Difficult Behaviours
K. Responding to Resistance from Others
L. Working with Powerful People
M. Concluding Comments
Activities:
Power Line-up
Power Game Triangle and Discovery Circle
Demand Behaviour
Exploring Positive Outcomes from the Past
Dealing with Difficult Behaviours
Responding to Resistance from Others
Developing Responses to Deal with Resistance from
Others
Handouts:
Section C:
Section D:
Section E:
Section F:
Section G:
Manipulation and Influence
Power Game Triangle
Transforming the Power Game Triangle into the Discovery Circle
Discovery Circle
Ten Empowering Thoughts
Transforming "I Should'' to "I Choose''
H.4.3
H.4.4
A.5.1
A.5.3
A.5.9
A.5.12
A.5.14
A.5.16
A.5.23
H.5.1
H.5.2
H.5.3
H.5.4
H.5.5
H.5.6
5.3
5.3
5.4
5.6
5.9
5.13
5.14
5.20
5.20
5.20
5.22
5.23
5.25

Section H
Section I:
Section J:
Section K
Personal Power: I Should vs I Choose
Demand Behaviour – Power Over
An Alternative to Demand Behaviour –
Power With
Exploring Positive Aspects from The Past
Strategies to Deal with Difficult Behaviours
Dealing With Difficult Behaviours
Responding to Resistance from Others
Core Material:
A. Identifying Emotions and their Effects
B. Expressing Our Emotions
C. Handling Our Own Anger
D. Managing Our Emotions
E. Handling Difficult Emotions in Others
F. Concluding Discussion
Activities:
Exploring Our Emotional Responses to Conflict
Focusing
Handling Another Person's Inflammation
Handouts:
Section A:
Section B:
Section C:
Section D:
Section E:
How Do You Feel Today?
Accepting Our Emotions
Cycle of Emotion
Handling Your Own Anger
Exploring Our Response to Conflict
Focusing on Conflict
Handling Difficult Emotions in Others
Core Material:
A. Exploring Our Unwillingness to Resolve
B. Projection
C. Resentment and Acknowledgement
H.5.7
H.5.8
H.5.9
H.5.10
H.5.11
H.5.12
H.5.13
A.6.1
A.6.3
A.6.6
7.2
7.4
7.8
6.3
6.5
6.8
6.8
6.9
6.10
H.6.1
H.6.2
H.6.3
H.6.4
H.6.5
H.6.6
H.6.7

D. Forgiveness
E. Managing Unwillingness to Resolve in Others
F. Concluding Comments
Activities:
Desert Island Exercise
Forgiveness Process
Handouts:
Section B:
Section E:
Desert Island Exercise
Projection and Shadow
Managing Unwillingness to Resolve in
Others
Core Material:
A. Introduction to Mapping
B. The Steps of Mapping
C. Reading a Map
D. When to Use Mapping
E. When it is Difficult to Identify the Issue
F. From Mapping to Generating Solutions
Activities:
Cluster Diagram
Source Areas of Conflict
Handouts:
Section B:
Section C:
Section E:
Mapping
How to Uncover Needs
Reading Your Map
Source Areas of Conflict
Core Material:
A. Stimulus Activity
B. Creating Options
8.2
8.3
8.7
8.8
8.9
8.12
A.8.1
A.8.4
H.8.1
H.8.2
H.8.3
H.8.4
9.2
9.2
7.11
7.12
7.13
A.7.1
A.7.4
H.7.1
H.7.2
H.7.3

C. A Practice Session on Designing Options
D. Steps in Selecting Options
E. Acting on the Chosen Option
F. Concluding Comments
Activities:
Unleashing Creativity
Handouts:
Section B: Designing Options
Core Material:
A. Stimulus Activity
B. Exploring the Concept of Negotiation
C. The Phases and Skills of a Negotiation
D. Responding to Resistance from Others
E. Opening a Negotiation
F. Using DISC to Understand Negotiation Styles
G. Responding to "Unfair" Tactics
H. Practising Negotiation
Activities:
Buying and Selling
Opening a Negotiation
Negotiation in Practice
Handouts:
Section C:
Section E:
Section F:
Section G:
Section H:
The Skills of Negotiation
Thirty Second Opener
DISC Negotiation Styles Worksheet
Strategies for Responding to Unfair Tactics
Responding to Unfair Tactics
Negotiation: Preparation Phase
A.9.1
H.9.1
H.10.1
H.10.2
H.10.3
H.10.4
H.10.5
H.10.6
10.3
10.3
10.5
10.12
10.13
10.14
10.16
10.17
9.3
9.5
9.6
9.6
A.10.1
A.10.5
A.10.7

Core Material:
A. Exploring the Meaning and Uses of Mediation
B. The Purposes of this Session
C. The Qualities of Mediators
D. Identifying the Stages and Skills in a Mediation
E. Applying Key Principles and Skills of Mediation to
Everyday Conflicts
F. A Broader Perspective on Mediation
Activities:
Mirroring
Establishing a Mediation
The Stages and Skills of Mediation
Handouts:
Section E: Mirroring
The Third Party Mediator
Mediation Skills
Observations During a Mediation
Core Material:
A. About Broadening Perspectives
B. Steps in Broadening Perspectives
C. Closing the Course and Acknowledgements
Activities:
Case Studies in Conflict
Handouts:
Section A: The Skills of Conflict Resolution
Case Study in Conflict
Family Feud – Part 1
Family Feud – Part 2
The Split Up – Part 1
The Split Up – Part 2
A.11.1
A.11.3
A.11.5
H.11.1
H.11.2
H.11.3
H.11.4
11.3
11.5
11.5
11.8
11.12
11.12
12.2
12.5
12.8
A.12.1
H.12.1
H.12.3
H.12.3
H.12.4
H.12.5
H.12.6

The New Manager – Part 1
The New Manager – Part 2
The Barking Dog – Part 1
The Barking Dog –Part 2'
H.12.7
H.12.8
H.12.9
H.12.10
The Oval – Part 1
The Oval – Part 2
H.12.11
H.12.12
Professionals and Volunteers – Part 1 H.12.13
Professionals and Volunteers – Part 2 H.12.14
Workplace Bargaining – Part 1 H.12.15
Workplace Bargaining – Part 2 H.12.16
Intention/Commitment Sheet H.12.17 Section B:
Core Material:
A. Introduction to AIKIDO
B. Aikido and its Relevance to CR
Activities:
Aikido Exercises
Core Material:
A. Experiencing Emotions in our Bodies
B. An Introduction to Bioenergetics
C. Bioenergetics in Context
Activities:
Bioenergetics Exercises
IV.2
IV.3
A. IV.1
V.2
V.4
V.4
V.1