PLURAL MARRIAGE AND FAMILIES IN EARLY UTAH
This is another essay that the LDS church has decided to put on their website because the
time has come for them to try to clarify some of the issues that keep coming back to haunt
them about their past practices. Luckily I have no relatives that lived during that period of time
in Utah and didn’t have to go through the abuse that the women were subject to during those
years. I am giving you a man’s viewpoint on this subject. Hopefully this will be a short article
because the essay is not that long.
{It starts out by stating that the Bible and the Book of Mormon teach that the marriage of one
man to one woman is God’s standard, except at specific periods when He has declared
otherwise}. I changed my mind because if at the very beginning they are already starting with
half-truths or three-quarters and higher then I am going to write for a while. I looked at the
references that they put down and it seems that in the Book of Mormon the Lord strictly
prohibited the Nephites from having more than one wife. Then they use the Bible to justify the
practice of polygamy and also Doctrine and Covenants. They suggest that you read Jacob 2:27
and 30 but I suggest that you start before on paragraph 24 and read through 30. I think that
then you will get the whole picture and not the cherry picked one. So let’s get this straight. To
a whole generation of people in which they say that one of the purposes of this
commandment was to “raise up seed unto (the Lord)” they are prohibited to enter into
polygamy to accomplish just that. During that period there were few people around that truly
believed in Jesus, I think that it would have been the perfect time to start up the assembly line
concept of bringing into this world as many spirits as possible. During the period when
polygamy was introduced there were many people that did believe in Him even though they
maybe didn’t have the fullness of the gospel but the principle simple concepts were there and
were being practiced. We all know that in 1890 the Lord inspired the Church President to issue
a statement that led to the end of the practice of plural marriage in the Church. I guess he
didn’t take into account that they could still continue to practice this in Mexico and Canada
because it was not illegal there. Guess what happened? Some new plural marriages were
performed between 1890 and 1904 outside the jurisdiction of U.S. law and still a small number
of plural marriages were performed within the United States during those years. There is
something here that I just can’t understand. God commands that some men enter into the
practice of polygamy and they all jump in running out to pick the juicy and ripe ones before
they are taken by someone else. Some maybe even before they are ripe but still juicy. Then He
changes His mind and commands them to stop the practice but they go out and try to find the
loop holes because just like the advertisement of Lay’s potato chips “once you start eating you
just can’t have one”. He doesn’t tell them to just stop practicing it in the U.S. but to just stop it
all together anywhere in this world. These are so-called men of God? Please. Let us continue.
In 1904 the Church strictly prohibited new plural marriage. Before it was just a test in which
for 14 years everyone flunked it. Luckily for some today there are still those that think that this
was all made up so that Utah could become a state and not permit the U.S. government from
coming in and confiscating all its precious assets and properties. There are still about 30.000
members of the Fundamentalist Church that are obeying the original commandment of God
and are being permitted to still practice this without fearing that they will be persecuted. I
might want to mention that when polygamy was being practiced in the olden days, way olden
days, just a couple of persons practiced it. One here, one there. When it was supposedly
introduced again in this Church it was accepted and practiced by many. Especially by the
leaders because they were ones that could afford to have more than one wife because they
earned their keep using their mouths and not their hands. I must continue with this article.
The essay states that plural marriage did result in the birth of large numbers of children within
faithful Latter-day Saint homes. I would have thought of another way to use these women to
bring more children into this world. It also states that marriage became available to virtually all
who desired it, per-capita inequality of wealth was diminished as economically disadvantaged
women married into more financially stable households. Money, money, money makes the
world go around like Abba’s song states. For these early Latter-day Saints, plural marriage was
a religious principle that required personal sacrifice. Remember that I am writing this article
from a man’s perspective, so here is my response to this sentence. How does one get pregnant
without a man being aroused and having an interest in having sex and doing it only because of
a religious principle? Also I am imagining how one after another starts to get pregnant and
they all start to carry this extra weight around with them. Some might get pregnant easier and
others maybe cannot. The ones that are pregnant most of the time get pushed over to the side
because they are not interested in having as much sex as the others that don’t get pregnant
easily. It just seems to me that there must have been some rules and a system put into place
here so that everyone could get their fair share of their husband.
{Accounts left by men and women who practiced plural marriage attest to the challenges and
difficulties they experienced, such as financial difficulty, interpersonal strife, and some wives’
longing for the sustained companionship of their husbands. But accounts also record the love
and joy many found within their families. They believed it was a commandment of God at that
time and that obedience would bring great blessings to them and posterity, both on earth and
in the life to come. Church leaders taught that participants in plural marriages should seek to
develop a generous spirit of unselfishness and the pure love of Christ for everyone involved}.
Whoever wrote this paragraph really did a good job on selling this practice. It states the
difficulties that it created but also the blessings from this practice. My question is: Why did this
practice stop? I would have loved to receive these great blessings on this earth and in the life
to come. Why God would have permitted this back then and now we can’t all partake of these
blessings? Isn’t He a loving God? Isn’t He a fair God? Imagine one of their wives asking pretty
please with sugar on it if her husband could hold her and comfort her and tell her how much
he loved her without the other wives being jealous and also requiring the same treatment. Let
us continue. It goes on to say that Church leaders viewed plural marriage as a command to the
Church generally, while recognizing that individuals who did not enter the practice could still
stand approved of God. Finally something makes sense in this Church. Good thing that I am
still considered a member because I have not made the decision yet to remove my name from
their membership rolls. God commands the practice of polygamy but if you don’t want to do it
you are still approved of God. Throw out the Ten Commandments, throw out the teachings of
Jesus and throw out the teachings of the prophets. God gives a commandment but if you don’t
want to obey it then it is still okay. I am beginning to love this god more and more as I read this
essay. See it is not that hard to return to this god’s presence. I knew that there was a reason
why I had to read this new essay from this church. This is getting juicier and juicier as I
continue to read this. Women were free to choose their spouses, whether to enter into a
polygamous or monogamous union, or whether to marry at all. What happened to the
economically disadvantaged women that it talked about before? It states that they had a
choice here but then they would miss out on the great blessings both on earth and in the life
to come. I think that there is some double standards here. Some men entered plural marriage
because they were asked to do so by Church leaders, while others initiated the process
themselves; all were required to obtain the approval of Church leaders before entering a
plural marriage. Let’s get this straight here. Women had all of these so-called choices and were
not forced to do anything they didn’t want to do. I wonder who would decide where the
children would go to. Would they have to stay with the father or could the mother take them
along with her to live together alone or with another man? Strangely enough they are not
mentioned in this essay. Maybe in the future they will also address this issue. It would be
interesting to know how these kids were handled even after polygamy ceased to be practiced.
Men on the other hand didn’t have this freedom. Some were asked by their leaders but does
not state what would happen if they refused. Some went out on their own but still required in
the end the approval of the Church leaders. We need to analyze this a little more. God gives a
commandment and you can obey it or not. Women are not bound to obey any of this stuff
presented to them. Men can be asked by their leaders but I suppose that means that they
must obey and even though their leaders might not ask them they can still go out on their own
and obey this commandment but they must get it approved first. Holy mackerel this seems
confusing even to me that I am trying to analyze what all of this means. Imagine somebody
else that has not taken the time to do this and believes or believed all of this. Good thing that I
wasn’t living in those days because I don’t know what would have happened to me. Maybe I
would have been buried in the sands of the dessert someplace between Salt Lake City and
Wendover? They state that it is therefore difficult to accurately generalize about the
experience of all plural marriages because the task of pioneering a semiarid land or living in
Salt Lake City made a difference in how plural marriage was experienced. Mormons have
always been advised that they should keep a diary. Because of this we have a lot of writings
from different members of the church. This church was famous for keeping good records of
everything that happened since its beginning. So we are told but we are beginning to discover
that not all was written down, especially the things that were practiced in secret because they
either knew that it was illegal or because they didn’t want the outside world to know
everything about them. The membership of the church must have a lot of writings by women
that were in a polygamous relationship because they had some time to do this. The problem is
that some of these writings have come to light and it paints a whole different picture than
what one would call a “religious experience”. Others probably paint a rosier picture.
Nevertheless not all are being made public. Each family was different. Each wife was different.
Each husband was different. What looked good on the outside might have been rotten on the
inside and vice-versa. What went inside the walls of the house, only God knew. This is true
even today. What one sees in church on Sunday might look very religious but what goes on
inside one’s mind and soul might be totally different than what one sees on the outside. There
is always two or more sides to every story but there is a lot more information out there than
one wants to admit to. We are living in times where people are not satisfied anymore with
what was taught to them in the past. We want to investigate and be captains of our own
destiny. We want to find out for ourselves if what has been told to us is true or not. We are
not rebels but people that are using our God given talents to try to make this a better place. To
make it better is to know the truth about whatever we are interested in knowing. We are here
to stay until it is our time to leave here. In the meantime we have the God given right to know
the truth. We should not be chastised if we ask the wrong questions and stir up some feathers.
We have nothing to hide and if it affects that ones that do then that is their problem. They
could learn something from us and decide to someday also say what the truth is. That is the
only way that we will go away and go back into our little boxes. Sorry that I went out in left
field. The essay states that it will now correct some myths.
{Some leaders had large polygamous families (nowadays they are considered studs), twothirds of polygamist men had only two wives at a time. Could it be that the other one-third
took on as many as they could possibly handle so as to leave only a few to choose from?
Church leaders recognized that plural marriages could be particularly difficult for women.
Divorce was therefore available to women who were unhappy in their marriages; remarriage
was also readily available}. I wonder why it was particularly difficult for women? Could it be
that they were being used as baby producing factories. Could a man get a divorce from his
wife or wives? Wife didn’t like her husband, get a divorce, go out and find another man.
Simple and sweet. Husband didn’t like a particular wife, get rid of her and find another one
more fitting. We think that the institution of marriage is being attacked in this present age? I
think that this started a long time ago and guess where? In Utah. It mentions that in 1857
probably half of those living in Utah Territory experienced life in a polygamous family as
husband, wife, or child at some time during their lives. By 1870, 25 to 30 percent of the
population lived in polygamous households, and it appears that the percentage continued to
decrease over the next 20 years. It looks like the honeymoons were ending and the routines
were creeping in. This is maybe why God decided to change his mind about polygamy because
maybe only a handful of men were practicing it by 1890. How convenient it is to downplay
how many were really practicing it by the time the Manifesto came around. That way it
doesn’t look as bad why some of them continued it till 1904. Accommodate numbers to justify
the actions of men. Beginning in 1862, the U.S. government passed laws against the practice of
plural marriage stating that they hoped to protect Mormon women. Many women publicly
defended the practice of plural marriage, arguing in statements that they were willing
participants. Why try to protect the women, it seems that they could do whatever they
wanted to do? Maybe the law was passed to protect the men that after having to live with
many wives wanted to live their lives more peacefully. Not having to perform their husband
duties so often and being able to come to a home in which they could just relax, put their feet
up, have a beer and watch Monday night football. Sorry, I just remembered there was no
Monday night football in those days. Now comes the interesting part of this whole story.
{The U.S. Supreme Court found the anti-polygamy laws to be constitutional in 1879 and the
Mormons continued to practice plural marriage because they thought that these laws were
unjust and they tried to avoid arrest. When convicted, they paid fines and submitted to jail
time. To help their husbands avoid prosecution, plural wives often separated into different
households or went into hiding under assumed names, particularly when pregnant or after
giving birth}. Nice way to handle this. You don’t like a certain law, disobey it, hide from it, lie
about it, but under no way shape or form do you have to obey it. This is what the 12th Article
of Faith says: We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in
obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law. (unless you believe them to be unjust) You have to
always read the fine print. By 1890 Mormon society had developed a strong, loyal core of
members and so it wasn’t necessary to produce as many children as humanly possible so it
was a good time for God to change His mind. So it seems that God uses this technique every
time He needs to have many loyal followers. I wonder why He didn’t permit this to happen
when Christianity first began after the death of Jesus Christ. That would have been an
excellent time to “raise up see unto (the Lord)”. As the Church grew and spread beyond the
American West, the monogamous nuclear family was well suited to an increasingly mobile and
dispersed membership. Thanks to these women that gave themselves to these men and
permitted them to get them pregnant as often as they could we have what we have
nowadays. I think that a new statue should be erected in Temple Square. There should be a
display of a bunch of pregnant women alongside a man that has both hands grabbing the lapel
of his suit with a smile on his face showing how proud he is of what he has done to these
women and to his church. I am a man and look at what I have accomplished for my church, I
have sown my seed in this women to “raise up seed unto (the Lord)”. The essay ends by saying
that for many who practiced it, plural marriage was a significant sacrifice (especially for the
women that risked their very lives in those days to produce a child). No epidural shots, no pain
pills, no breathing exercises, no hospitals with doctors and nurses with fancy beds, air
conditioning, heating and televisions.
{Despite the hardships some experienced, the faithfulness of those who practiced plural
marriage continues to benefit the Church in innumerable ways (15.000.000 members).
Through the lineage of these 19th-century Saints have come many Latter-day Saints who have
been faithful to their gospel covenants as righteous mothers and fathers, loyal disciples of
Jesus Christ, and devoted Church members, leaders, and missionaries}. Just think about this
that if this hadn’t happened then none of these people would exist. They do exist because of
the practice of polygamy. How fortunate we are that this turned out this way. I sincerely think
that God should implement this practice again because it seems that we need more righteous
mothers and fathers, loyal disciples of Jesus Christ and devoted Church members, leaders, and
missionaries. I think that this should have been something that God should have thought
about before. When there was a need for more seed, implement polygamy. When there was a
need for more loyal disciples of Jesus Christ, implement polygamy. When there was a need for
more righteous mothers and fathers, implement polygamy. When the need was met, stop the
practice. This is also called supply and demand. When there is a demand for something supply
it and when that demand has been satisfied stop supplying it. I think that I have been following
the wrong God, the one that says the He is the Lord and He does not change. The one that
says the He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I like this god better. One that keeps up
with the times. One that doesn’t care if you obey His commandments or not and that you will
still be in His favor. One that keeps adjusting His commandments according to the needs of
this world. This is all I have to say on this subject, thank God.