In historical terms, it is monogamy that is in need of explanation, not polygamy.
—Janet Bennion, Women of Principle (1998)
I don’t love you anymore. How often do we try to save something that fails to succeed
and walk away? Marriage is one of the issues. Society has changed, so did our values. World
became driven by pleasure and satisfaction, seeking happiness in everything around us. Food,
sex, books, alcohol altogether with human interactions are supposed to make us happy, but
they rarely do. Dissatisfied, we are unwilling to retrieve what once has lost its value. We end up
marrying for the second, third and fourth time calling ourselves monogamous without realizing
its true definition.
According to the Urban Dictionary monogamy is the custom or condition of having only one
mate in an intimate relationship, of being dedicated to a single partner.
From biological point of view monogamy requires one single mate for a lifetime. Nowadays
humans go in multiple relationships before settling down with marriage because monogamy is
not common in our nature. Biologically driven men seek women to produce an offspring, which
becomes easier when having multiple wives. Nine month is a period needed for a woman to
give a birth. To the contrast, a man’s reproductive function works much faster.
Sexually driven we often feel attracted to someone else. In monogamous relationship
these desires are restricted in order to save the marriage or otherwise we secretly satisfy our
needs. Even if we try to suppress that natural part, it does not mean it is going to make us
happy. As a result our partner would be unhappy as well and the marriage would fail in both
cases.
Throughout the history monogamy proliferated in many societies. It dated back to the
Jesus’s time when men were allowed to live with more than one wife in a lifetime. In the Bible
Jacob had five wives; Isaac had four, David had eighteen and King Solomon himself married
over 700 women. However, Bible both supports and refutes polygamy. 1 Corinthian 7:2 declare:
“Let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband” In Koran it
appropriate to marry more than one wife as long as he can take good care of all his wives and
children.
In polygamy families one can easily feel unneeded, inadequate and even unattractive.
Standard Social Service declares that 73-93% of the world societies have been polygamous at
some moment throughout their history.
the word polygamy simply means multiple spouses.
Over the centuries the concept of polygamy declines in many societies. For example in Japan it
officially occurred in 1880s and in China only in 1950s. However, many societies today still
accept polygamy as a norm. In many muslim countries the marriage is about having more than
one wife.
Even though some traditional views have lost their values, it is important that you have
someone who is there for you and only for you.
-High divorce rates in the U.S. are a common example of how society functions nowadays. In
Saudi Arabia, for instance, where the Islamic norms are practices by the nation, it is
inappropriate to leave your wife, but common to marry another one.
-mormons’ polygamy practices
- DNA testing 25% of the children that were tested in England on fathering found out that they
are not the actual fathers.
-Nowadays the society discriminates against polygamy
-honesty is an issue
-polygamy nurtures jealousy, even subconsciously we want to possess things and not to share
with someone else
GOAL: preserve marriage in every possible way and if the polygamy is the only condition.
Polygamy is not for everyone, but as long as it makes people happy it is worth proceeding.