1913/2014
DELTA SIGMA THETA SORORITY, INC.
South Carolina Fellows Project
Class of 2012-2014
DELTA VOICES: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS
Domestic violence and Bullying can be stopped! How we educate ourselves to make change
determines the outcome.
INTRODUCTION
Domestic violence and Bullying can be stopped!
How we educate ourselves to make
change determines the outcome. The phrase “domestic violence” typically refers to violence
between adult intimate partners. It has been estimated that every year there are about 3.3 to 10
million children exposed to domestic violence in the confines of their own home. The effects of
exposure can vary from direct effects such as behavioral and developmental issues to
interpersonal relationships, all of which lead to detrimental prospects on the child’s development.
This presentation will explore those effects and how this affects all aspects of a family, along
with how you can get help and use preventive measure to ensure your safety and the safety of
others.
Exposure to family and community violence is linked with aggressive behavior. Children
exposed to domestic violence have been found to be four times more likely to develop
internalizing or externalizing behavior problems than children who are not exposed to violence.
Bullying will also be examined in this project. Bullying is comprised of direct behaviors
such as teasing, taunting, threatening, hitting, and stealing that are initiated by one or more
students against a victim. In addition to direct attacks, bullying may also be more indirect by
causing a student to be socially isolated through intentional exclusion. While boys typically
engage in direct bullying methods, girls who bully are more apt to utilize more subtle indirect
strategies, such as spreading rumors and enforcing social isolation. Whether the bullying is direct
or indirect, the key component of bullying is that the physical and psychological intimidation
occurs repeatedly over time to create an ongoing pattern of harassment and abuse, (Batshe&
Knoff, 1944: Owens, 1993).
In conclusion, it is clearly shown that domestic violence and bullying has negative effects
on children and adults. How we deal with these issues depends on whether we first, recognize
that this is a problem, address it and implement positive and healthy changes that can produce
healthy, productive citizen, along with having a better quality of life.
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
Bullies: More Than Sticks, Stones and Name-Calling: (Batsche& Knoff, 1994; Nolin, Davis, & Chandler, 1995;
Olweus 1993; Whitney& Smith, 1993). Education Resources Information Center
1
Domestic violence, bullying can be stopped; we have to make a change!
Pre Evaluation Questions
1. How would you define violence?
2. Have you or someone you know personally been affected by violence?
3. If so, how did you cope with it? Did you report the ordeal to local officials
or your school administrators?
4. Do you think violence against a Woman is a crime?
5. Who should be involved once violence has been detected against someone?
6. Why do you think bullying exist in today’s society?
7. What age would do you think bullying occurs in the school?
8. What are the warning signs of someone being bullied?
9. Have you ever attempted to bully someone?
Page
2
10.Why do some student’s feel the need to become bullies?
SC Delta Fellows Project
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
According to S. C. Code of Laws Ann §16-25-20, “domestic violence” is defined as
causing physical harm or injury to a person’s household member; offering or attempting to cause
physical harm or injury to a person’s own household member with apparent present ability under
circumstances reasonably
creating fear of imminent peril” (The Domestic Violence State
Report, October 2011-September 2012). Also, domestic violence has been defined as a pattern
of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and
intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. Domestic violence can include
physical, emotional, psychological, economic, and/or sexual abuse. Abusers use threats,
intimidation, isolation, and other behaviors to gain and maintain power over their victims.
Domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of income, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation,
gender identity or religion. Other terms for domestic violence include intimate partner violence,
battering, relationship abuse, spousal abuse, or family violence (www.safehorizon.org).
Before you can research the statistical prevalence of domestic violence in South Carolina,
it is important to note the prevalence of domestic violence in the nation. The National Coalition
Against Domestic Violence has identified that one in every four women will experience
domestic
violence
in
their
lifetime
(www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf). Furthermore, approximately
1.3 million women are victims of physical aggression/assault by an intimate partner each year,
with one-third of female homicide victims reported to the police are killed by their intimate
partner (www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf).
According to the
Violence Policy Center’s September, 2011 report, “When Men Murder Women: An Analysis of
2009 Homicide Data”, South Carolina ranked seventh in the nation for women murdered by their
intimate partners (www.ncadv.org/files/DomesticViolenceFactSheet(National).pdf).
South
Carolina’s domestic violence prevalence has become a significant crime issue in the state.
For several years, South Carolina has ranked in the top ten in the nation with women being killed
by their intimate partners.
The data in 2010 from the Washington-based Violence Policy
worst.html#storylink=cpy). The research indicated that these women were primarily killed with
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
(www.thestate.com/2012/09/20/2448208/south-carolina-rated-second-
3
Council indicated that South Carolina had a state rate of 1.94 per 100,000 women killed by men
guns by these men. More cases than not, the female victims were killed by men that they were
known to them. It should be noted that women experience more than 4 million physical assaults
and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
Also, thirty percent of women are most likely to be killed by their intimate partner in comparison
to five percent of men killed by their intimate partners. Research indicated that women between
the ages of 20 to 24 are at greater risk of becoming victims of domestic violence
(www.safehorizon.org).
While domestic violence has significantly affected women nationally, as well as, from a
state perspective, it also has affected the family dynamics. For example, every year, more than 3
million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
Often, when children witness
domestic violence in the homes, they also become victims of abuse or neglect themselves. It has
been indicated in research that children exposed to domestic violence at home show greater
symptoms of trauma, including becoming sick more often, complaining frequently of headaches
or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic. It is also not uncommon for children who
witness domestic violence against their parents to intervene, which places them at greater risk for
injury or death (www.safehorizon.org).
When does domestic violence occur? Research has indicated that domestic violence is
most likely to occur between 6pm and 6am for both female and male victims. Also, 60% of
reported incidents of domestic violence occur at the homes, which are located more often in rural
areas (www.safehorizon.org).
The signs of domestic violence, according to the U.S. Department of Justice, may
include the following:

Physical abuse such as slapping, kicking, hitting, shoving, or other physical force.

Sexual abuse including rape, sexual assault, forced prostitution, or interfering with birth
control.

Emotional abuse such as shouting, name-calling, humiliation, constant criticism, or
Page
4
harming the victim’s relationship with her or his children.
SC Delta Fellows Project

Psychological abuse including threats to harm the victims' family, friends, children, coworkers, or pets, isolation, mind games, destruction of victims' property, or stalking.

Economic abuse such as controlling the victim’s money, withholding money for basic
needs,
interfering
with
school
or
job,
or
damaging
the
victim’s
credit
(http://www.ovw.usdoj.gov/domviolence.htm). These signs may occur in combination
with one another.
Often women living in shelters experience post-traumatic stress disorder because of
domestic violence. Among women brought to emergency rooms because of domestic
violence, most were socially isolated, had lower self-esteem, and had fewer social and
financial resources than other women not injured because of domestic violence. Also,
girls who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become victims themselves,
thus continuing the cycles of victimization. On the other hand, boys who witness
domestic violence are also far more likely to become abusers, of both their
spouses/partners and their children, thus perpetuating the cycles of violence in their own
homes. In regards to the homeless population, nearly 50% of homeless women and
children are homeless because of domestic violence. According to the U.S. Department
of Housing and Urban Development, domestic violence is the third leading cause of
homelessness among families. Domestic violence costs more than $37 billion a year in
law enforcement involvement, legal work, medical and mental health treatment, and lost
productivity at companies.
While researching domestic violence, it is important to note some of the reasons to why
women stay with their abusers? What are their perspectives on why they stay? One
researcher indicated the following reasons to why women stay:
The Safety Seeker:
It may be familiar, and oddly enough,
a comfortable lifestyle.
The Worthless:
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
Not realizing it is "abuse."
5
The Blind:
"No one else would ever love me."
The Defective:
"I deserved it; I'll do better."
The Manager:
"I can keep it from happening again."
The Gullible:
"He's really sorry, and it won't happen again."
The Pretender:
"I know I make him sound terrible, but he's
really a good person most of the time."
The Defender:
"He didn't mean to hurt me."
The Caretaker:
"No one else understands him the way I do."
The Fantasizer:
"But I love him."
The Martyr:
"He isn't hurting the children;
if he ever did, I'd leave."
The Helpless:
"I can't support the children on my own."
The Hopeless:
"He'll kill me if I try to leave him." (http://www.prevent-abuse
now.com/domviol.htm).
Another important element of domestic violence is the characteristics of men who batter women
is the power and control wheel (see below).
Page
Domestic Violence, as defined by the South Carolina Code of Laws, is “causing physical harm
or injury to a person’s household member. Offering or attempting to cause physical harm or
6
South Carolina Domestic Violence Research Information (South Carolina)
SC Delta Fellows Project
injury to a person’s own household member with apparent present ability under circumstances
reasonably creating fear of imminent peril” (dss..sc.gov).
Domestic violence is a serious matter that reaches across color lines, social economic
backgrounds and education levels; it can happen to people of any age, gender, religion or race.
Domestic violence is a pattern of behaviors used to gain control or power over a partner in a
relationship. Abuse within a domestic relationship can be emotional, economic, sexual or
psychological actions that are, terrorizing, threatening, intimidating, manipulative or freighting
and are used as a means of influence over another person. Domestic violence does not
discriminate and can occur in married couples or between teenage relationships.
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
South Carolina in domestic violence disputes that result in death; primarily men killing women;
with 34 women being murdered as the result of a domestic violence incident in 2010 and as
many as 40 by 2011 (Vaughn & Watson, 2012).
7
To help those who are victims, we must first be able to recognize the signs of abuse.
Abusive behavior is not acceptable within any relationship and if any of the signs listed below
are present, immediate departure from the relationship is suggested (www.helpguide.org).
Experts suggest a focus on preventative measures which include educating our children about
healthy relationships and what they look like. They also advise that victims of domestic violence
develop a safety plan which includes strategies on how to leave and when. This is suggested
because abuse tends to follow a pattern or cycle. Below is an illustration of the cycle many
abuse victims find themselves.
References
Vaughn, C & Watson, D. (2012). SC Ranks 2nd in nation for domestic violence deaths. Retrieved
from
http://www.foxcarolina.com/story/19596407/sc-ranks-second-worst-in-nation-for-menkilling-women
Page
8
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
SC Delta Fellows Project
Control is the "overarching behavioral characteristic" of abusive men,
achieved with criticism, verbal abuse, financial control, isolation,
cruelty, etc. (see Power & Control Wheel). The need to control may
deepen over time or escalate if a woman seeks independence (e.g. going
to school).
Entitlement
Entitlement is the "overarching attitudinal characteristic" of abusive
men, a belief in having special rights without responsibilities, justifying
unreasonable expectations (e.g., family life must center on his needs).
He will feel the wronged party when his needs are not met and may
justify violence as self-defense.
Selfishness & Self- An expectation of being the center of attention, having his needs
anticipated. May not support or listen to others.
centeredness
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
Control
9
Characteristics of Abusive Men
Superiority
Contempt for woman as stupid, unworthy, a sex object or as a house
keeper.
Possessiveness
Seeing a woman and his children as property.
Confusing
Abuse
Love
& Explaining violence as an expression of his deep love.
A tactic of confusion, distortion and lies. May project image of himself
as good, and portray the woman as crazy or abusive.
Manipulativeness
Contradictory
Statements
Behaviors
Saying one thing and doing another, such as being publicly critical of
& men who abuse women.
Externalization
Responsibility
of Shifting blame for his actions and their effects to others, especially the
woman, or to external factors such as job stress.
Denial, Minimization, Refusing to acknowledge abusive behavior (e.g. she fell), not
acknowledging the seriousness of his behavior and its effects (e.g., it's
& Victim Blaming
just a scratch), blaming the victim (e.g., she drove me to it; she made it
up because I have a new girlfriend).
Serial Battering
Some men are abusive in relationship after relationship.
Men can exhibit some or all of these characteristics and never physically assault a woman.
This material was summarized from Lundy Bancroft & Jay Silverman (2002). The Batterer as
Parent: Addressing the Impact of Domestic Violence on Family Dynamics. Thousand Oaks, CA:
Sage Publications.
Myths and Facts about Domestic Violence
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
FACT: National studies estimate that 3 to 4 million women are beaten each year in our country.
A study conducted in 1995 found that 31% of women surveyed admitted to having been
physically assaulted by a husband or boyfriend. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury
to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in our country, and the FBI estimates that a woman is
10
MYTH #1: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AFFECTS ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF
THE POPULATION AND IS RARE.
beaten every 15 seconds. Thirty percent of female homicide victims are killed by partners or expartners and 1,500 women are murdered as a result of domestic violence each year in the United
States.
MYTH #2: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE OCCURS ONLY IN POOR, UNEDUCATED AND
MINORITY FAMILIES.
FACT: Studies of domestic violence consistently have found that battering occurs among all
types of families, regardless of income, profession, region, ethnicity, educational level or race.
However, the fact that lower income victims and abusers are over-represented in calls to police,
battered women's shelters and social services may be due to a lack of other resources.
MYTH #3: THE REAL PROBLEM IS COUPLES WHO ASSAULT EACH OTHER.
WOMEN ARE JUST AS VIOLENT AS MEN.
FACT: A well-publicized study conducted by Dr. Murray Strauss at the University of New
Hampshire found that women use violent means to resolve conflict in relationships as often as
men. However, the study also concluded that when the context and consequences of an assault
are measured, the majority of victims are women. The U.S. Department of Justice has found that
85% of the victims of spouse abuse are female. Men can be victims, but it is rare.
MYTH #4: ALCOHOL ABUSE CAUSES DOMESTIC VIOLENCE.
FACT: Although there is a high correlation between alcohol, or other substance abuse, and
battering, it is not a causal relationship. Batterers use drinking as one of many excuses for their
violence and as a way to place the responsibility for their violence elsewhere. Stopping the
abusers' drinking will not stop the violence. Both battering and substance abuse need to be
addressed separately, as overlapping yet independent problems.
MYTH #5: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS USUALLY A ONE TIME, ISOLATED
OCCURRENCE.
FACT: Battering is a pattern of coercion and control that one person exerts over another.
Battering is not just one physical attack. It includes the repeated use of a number of tactics,
including intimidation, threats, economic deprivation, isolation and psychological and sexual
abuse. Physical violence is just one of these tactics. The various forms of abuse utilized by
batterers help to maintain power and control over their spouses and partners.
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
Fact: Studies have found that men who batter their wives also abuse their children in 70% of
cases. Even when children are not directly abused, they suffer as a result of witnessing one
parent assault another. Batterers often display an increased interest in their children at the time of
separation, as a means of maintaining contact with, and thus control over, their partners.
11
MYTH #6: MEN WHO BATTER ARE OFTEN GOOD FATHERS AND SHOULD HAVE
JOINT CUSTODY OF THEIR CHILDREN IF THE COUPLE SEPARATES.
MYTH #7: WHEN THERE IS VIOLENCE IN THE FAMILY, ALL MEMBERS OF THE
FAMILY ARE PARTICIPATING IN THE DYNAMIC, AND THEREFORE, ALL MUST
CHANGE FOR THE VIOLENCE TO STOP.
FACT: Only the batterer has the ability to stop the violence. Battering is a behavioral choice for
which the batterer must be held accountable. Many battered women make numerous attempts to
change their behavior in the hope that this will stop the abuse. This does not work. Changes in
family members' behavior will not cause the batterer to be non-violent.
MYTH #8: BATTERED WOMEN ARE MASOCHISTIC AND PROVOKE THE ABUSE.
THEY MUST LIKE IT OR THEY WOULD LEAVE.
FACT: Victim provocation is no more common in domestic violence than in any other crime.
Battered women often make repeated attempts to leave violent relationships, but are prevented
from doing so by increased violence and control tactics on the part of the abuser. Other factors
which inhibit a victim's ability to leave include economic dependence, few viable options for
housing and support, unhelpful responses from the criminal justice system or other agencies,
social isolation, cultural or religious constraints, a commitment to the abuser and the relationship
and fear of further violence. It has been estimated that the danger to a victim increases by 70%
when she attempts to leave, as the abuser escalates his use of violence when he begins to lose
control.
MYTH #9: MEN HAVE A RIGHT TO DISCIPLINE THEIR PARTNERS FOR
MISBEHAVING. BATTERING IS NOT A CRIME.
FACT: While our society derives from a patriarchal legal system that afforded men the right to
physically chastise their wives and children, we do not live under such a system now. Women
and children are no longer considered the property of men, and domestic violence is a crime in
every state In the country. (http://www.clarkprosecutor.org/html/domviol/myths.htm).
DATING VIOLENCE
Page
What Does Dating Violence Look Like?
 Physical Abuse: Any intentional use of physical force with the intent to cause fear or
injury, like hitting, shoving, biting, strangling, kicking or using a weapon.
 Verbal or Emotional Abuse: Non-physical behaviors such as threats, insults, constant
monitoring, humiliation, intimidation, isolation or stalking.
12
What Is Dating Violence?
Dating violence is controlling, abusive, and aggressive behavior in a romantic relationship. It can
happen in straight or gay relationships. It can include verbal, emotional, physical, sexual abuse,
or a combination.
SC Delta Fellows Project


Sexual Abuse: Any action that impacts a person’s ability to control their sexual activity
or the circumstances in which sexual activity occurs, including rape, coercion or
restricting access to birth control.
Digital Abuse: Use of technologies and/or social media networking to intimidate, harass
or threaten a current or ex-dating partner. This could include demanding passwords,
checking cell phones, cyber bullying, sexting, excessive or threatening texts or stalking
on Facebook or other social media.
What emotions may be attributed to Dating Violence?
 Think it's your fault.
 Feel angry, sad, lonely, depressed, or confused.
 Feel helpless to stop the abuse.
 Feel threatened or humiliated.
 Feel anxious.
 Not know what might happen next.
 Feel like you can't talk to family and friends.
 Be afraid of getting hurt more seriously.
 Feel protective of your boyfriend or girlfriend.
How common is Dating Violence?
Too Common
 Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a
dating partner in a single year.
 One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal
abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth
violence.
 One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a
boyfriend or girlfriend.
 One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
 Approximately 70% of college students say they have been sexually coerced.
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
What Are The Facts?
According to the Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS) released in 2012 by the SC Department
of Education, South Carolina teens are experiencing dating violence at an alarming rate:
12% of students surveyed reported being physically abused by a dating partner
11% of students surveyed reported being forced to have sexual intercourse
13
What Are The Lasting Effects of Dating Violence?
 Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications by putting the victims
at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further
domestic violence.
 Being physically or sexually abused makes teen girls six times more likely to become
pregnant and twice as likely to get a STI.
 Half of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape attempt suicide,
compared to 12.5% of non-abused girls and 5.4% of non-abused boys.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, the following statistics reveal that teen dating
violence is a growing public health concern:
About 1 in 4 teens reports verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual violence each year
About 1 in 11 teens reports being a victim of physical dating violence each year
About 1 in 5 teens reports being a victim of emotional abuse
About 1 in 5 high school girls has been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner
Why Is Teen Dating Violence a Public Health Issue?
 About 70% of girls and 52% of boys who are victims of dating violence report an injury
from a violent relationship.
 Approximately 8% of boys and 9% of girls have been to an emergency room for an injury
received from a dating partner.
 Adolescents who are victims of dating violence are also more likely to report binge
drinking, suicide attempts, physical fighting, and sexual activity.
 Dating violence is associated with unhealthy sexual behaviors that can lead to unintended
pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, and HIV infections
Page
14
How to Talk To Teens About Dating Violence?
The best time to talk with your teen about healthy dating relationships is before they start dating.
Here are a few tips:
 Send a consistent message—teach your teen that s/he deserves respect.
 Teach him or her that excessive jealousy, control, and manipulation are not signs of love,
but of a disrespectful, and potentially dangerous, relationship.
 Be honest. Share your own experiences.
 Let your teen talk. Do not interrupt him or her.
 Listen to what your teen is saying. Respect his or her views.
 Stay calm. If you feel yourself becoming upset, take a deep breath and try to refocus on
the conversation.
 Set a good example. Think through things before you speak, listen patiently, provide
encouragement, and treat everyone with respect.
SC Delta Fellows Project
CHECKLIST (provided by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)
Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and how you treat
your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or continually puts down the other
person, it's abuse.
Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make decisions?
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or hit you?
____ Call, text, or email you several times a day or show up to make sure you are where you said
You would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you don't want to do?
____ Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the relationship?
____ Prevent you from doing things you want - like spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach
you a lesson"?
Do you…
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will act?
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for your partner's behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change if only you changed something about
yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do instead of what you want?
____ Stay with your partner because you are afraid of what your partner would do if you brokeup?
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
(Adapted from Reading and Teaching Teens to Stop Violence, Nebraska Domestic Violence and
Sexual Assault Coalition, Lincoln, NE).
15
If any of these are happening in your relationship, talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse
will continue.
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BULLYING
School bullying refers to all types of bullying done on school property, whether it is peer-to- peer
bullying, bullying of younger children by older children or bullying in when a teacher is either
the victim or a culprit.
According to the national Center for Education Statistics, nearly a third of all students age 5-12
reported having been bullied at school in 2007, some almost daily.
Types of School Bullying:
There are different categories of school bullying, and one of the categories overlap. Here are
some of the most important categories that are frequently discussed.
Pack Bullying is bullying undertaken by a group. Pack Bullying was more prominent in high
school and characteristically lasted longer than bullying undertaken by individuals. Pack bullying
can be physical or emotion bullying and be perpetrated in person or in cyberspace. It can take
place on school yards, school hallways, sports fields and gymnasiums, classrooms and on the
school bus.
Individual Bullying is one-on- one bullying that may take place either in person for on line as
well as being physical bullying or emotional bullying. The Wesley Report found it to be more
prevalent in elementary schools.
Mode of School Bullying
Physical bullying is bullying that takes the form of physical abuse, such as pushing, shoving,
hitting, fighting, spitting and tripping. Threats of physical harm and attempts to force people to
act in ways they would prefer not to be also included.
Emotional Bullying
Is bullying that involves factors other than physical interaction a, such as insults, derogatory
remarks, name calling, and teasing. Victims can also be ostracize or ignored.
Another important aspect of dealing with bullying is to watch your own child for signs that she
or she might be a bully. It can be difficult to see such behavior in your own child, but you need
to take bullying seriously, and let your child know that it is inappropriate.
Page
16
© 2009 Bullying Statistics - Stop Bullying, Harassment, and Violence
SC Delta Fellows Project
HIGH SCHOOL BULLYING
Bullying is reported to be most prevalent during the last years of elementary school.
However, bullying is not relegated to only younger children. Bullying is reported to peak around
8th grade and continue into the first years of high school. Interestingly, after peaking in middle
school, physical bullying declines in high school. Verbal abuse or bullying continues constantly
in high school.
Bullying: Fast Facts
 Bullying directly affects students’ ability to learn.
 Bystanders can be powerful allies.
 Bullying is not a “rite of passage” but a serious threat to student safety and well-being.
 Bullying is not exclusive to older students, male students, or popular students.
 Effective bullying prevention efforts involve students, parents, teachers, and community
members
According to Nationwide Bullying Statistics, a child is bullied every seven minutes.
Multiple websites documented 13 million kids get bullied every year.
Bullying has been
identified as the reason 160,000 students miss school each day. The Centers for Disease Control
and Prevention 2011 Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System reported twenty percent of 912th graders nationwide experienced bullying. Once upon a time, those being bullied at school
or in their communities could escape the cruelty of bullying in the safety of their homes.
Unfortunately, that is no longer the case. Cyber bullying affects 1 of every 4 children more than
occasionally as reported by The Book Bank Foundation (2012).
In the past, bullying was commonly thought of as the unrelenting taunting of another
person. However, the South Carolina (SC) Code of Laws defines bullying as much more. South
Carolina Code Annotated §59-63-120 also known as the Safe School Climate Act, defines
bullying as any gesture or act by any means “that is reasonably perceived to have the effect of:
(a) Harming a student physically or emotionally or damaging a student's property, or placing a
student in reasonable fear of personal harm or property damage; or
(b) Insulting or demeaning a student or group of students causing substantial disruption in, or
substantial interference with, the orderly operation of the school”
Page
lasting negative effects on the bullied as well as the community. Bullying has been identified as a
17
Bullying is both morally and legally wrong. Bullying has the potential of having long-
SC Delta Fellows Project
leading factor in suicide among children 11-16 years old and as “a factor in 2/3 of the 37 school
shootings reviewed by the US Secret Service” (The Book Bank Foundation, 2012).
So, what can be done to decrease bullying? Everyone has a responsibility,
Teachers and school administrators:

Be knowledgeable and observant

Involve students and parents

Set positive expectations about behavior for students and adults
Parents
 Observe your child for signs they might be being bullied
 Teach your child how to handle being bullied
 Set boundaries with technology
 Stop bullying before it starts
 Make your home “bully free”
 Look for self-esteem issues
Student
 Report bullying and cyber bullying
 Don’t bully back
 Avoid being alone (American Psychological Association)
Bullying is a repeated aggressive behavior that is intentional cruelty that may result in feeling
overwhelmed, depressed or anxious. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or relational and involves
an imbalance of power or strength. Regardless of the form, no one should go through this and
everything that can be done, should be done to stop it at the earliest opportunities
References:
American Psychological Association (2013). Bullying: How parents, teachers, and kids, can take
action to prevent bullying Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/bullying.aspx?item=4
dosomething.org (n.d.). 11 Facts about bullying. Retrieved from
http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about- school-bullyingPacer’s
National Bullying Prevention Center (2012). Bullying: fast facts. Retrieved from
http://www.pacer.org/bullying/about/media-kit/facts.asp
SC Delta Fellows Project
statistics. Retrieved from
Page
The Book Bank Foundation (2012). Nationwide bullying
hebbf.org/nationwide-bullyingstatistics
18
State of South Carolina (2012). SC Code of Laws. Retrieved from
http://www.scstatehouse.gov/code/t59c063.php
Tips for dealing with bullying, or a bully
It can be difficult to deal with bullying, or a bully. It is more helpful when a bully's parents and
school are involved as well, working to help diffuse the situation. If you are concerned that your
child is the victim of bullying, here are six steps you can take to try and help him or her in
dealing with bullying:
1. Get your child's input: You need to be a safe place your child can turn for help when
dealing with bullying. Be open to your child, and make sure that you are accepting. You
should let your child know that being bullied is not his or her fault. Also, you should find
out what has been tried to stop the bullying, and what has worked (or hasn't worked) so
far.
2. Talk to the school authorities: Discuss the problem with your child's teacher, principal or
counselor. A meeting with all three can help everyone know how to help a child who is
dealing with bullying. In many cases, bullying takes place in unsupervised areas, such as
school buses, bathrooms, playgrounds and other areas that can be hard to monitor. If you
know where the bullying is taking place, you can let school authorities know so that they
can step up "patrols"• in those areas to discourage bullying.
3. Teach your child to avoid the bully: Your child does not need to fight back. Encourage
him or her to avoid the bully when possible. Suggest that he or she walk away, and go
find a teacher or other trusted adult.
4. Encourage your child to be assertive: It is not necessary to fight back to defeat a bully.
You can teach your child to stand up straight and tell the bully, firmly, to leave him or her
alone. In some cases, this type of assertiveness will work.
5. Practice with your child: It might be beneficial to have a little bit of role play with your
child. This way he or she can practice what to say to a bully, or how to leave a situation
that could turn into bullying.
6. Teach your child to move in groups: A good support system can be an effective deterrent
against bullies. Have your child go to school and other places with trusted and true
friends when dealing with bullying.
It is also important to help your children and their friends understand that it is not acceptable to
harm others, physically, emotionally, verbally or electronically (cyber bullying). Indeed, you
should teach your child to stand up to bullies who may be harasses other children. If your child
and his or her friends are willing to come to the aid of others who are being bullied, soon the
bully will have no one left to pick on.
she might be a bully. It can be difficult to see such behavior in your own child, but you need to
19
take bullying seriously, and let your child know that it is inappropriate. If your child is a bully,
Page
Another important aspect of dealing with bullying is to watch your own child for signs that he or
SC Delta Fellows Project
take the time to find out why he or she may be acting this way. In some cases, a child
psychologist or developmental expert can help you figure out the reasons behind the behavior
and work to change these behaviors.
Bullying can have long lasting effects on people. What happens during childhood can set the
tone for the rest of one's life, and it is important that bullying is dealt with early on. (Home©
2009 Bullying Statistics - Stop Bullying, Harassment, and Violence)
Link between Bullying and Violence in the Home
Violent family encounters were most common among youth who identified as someone who has
both bullied and been victimized.
The association was among findings from a study by the Centers for Disease Control and
Prevention, which along with the Massachusetts Department of Public Health analyzed data from
middle and high school students across the state.
The CDC analysis confirmed some well-documented associations with bullying -- an
increased likelihood of suicide, substance abuse or poor grades.
The CDC also found bullies and their victims reported being physically hurt by a family
member or witnessing violence at home significantly more often than people who said they
had not been bullied.
CDC's report established a link between bullying and events outside school.
"A comprehensive approach that encompasses school officials, students and their families is
needed to prevent bullying among middle school and high school students," the CDC researchers
said.
The report, which CDC said was the first state-specific analysis of risk factors and bullying, also
Page
drugs.
20
noted that significant numbers of bullies and bully-victims said they had recently used alcohol or
SC Delta Fellows Project
Family Events Effect Both Bullying and Domestic Violence
Bullying and domestic violence are cyclical – those children who witness domestic
violence are at a much higher risk of becoming both bullies and victims of bullying.
Conversely, those children who bully or are victims of bullying (without any resolution or
intervention by adults in their lives) end up learning social norms in relationships that
can look a lot like domestic violence. In other words, if a bully learns that there are no
consequences for his or her negative treatment of other children, they learn that this
behavior is OK in all of their relationships, including relationships with dating partners or
spouses later in life. Also, if a child always falls victim to bullying, with no outside help
or intervention, this child may grow to feel that this is the best they deserve to be treated
in their relationships – hence making them more vulnerable to domestic violence later in
life.
A recent study from researchers at the University of Washington (UW) and Indiana
University, found that children who were exposed to violence in the home engaged in
higher levels of physical bullying than children who were not witnesses to such
behavior. The study is one of the first in the United States to specifically examine the
association between child exposure to domestic violence and involvement in bullying.
"Children learn from seeing what their primary caregivers do. They are very attuned and
very observant about what goes on in a household," said Dr. Nerissa Bauer, lead author
of the study and a former UW pediatrician who is now an assistant professor of
pediatrics at Indian and Riley Children's Hospital. "Parents are very powerful role
models and children will mimic the behavior of parents, wanting to be like them. They
may believe violence is OK and they can use it with peers. After all, they may think, 'If
Daddy can do this, perhaps I can hit this kid to get my way.' When parents engage in
violence, children may assume violence is the right way to do things," she said.
bullying, but to recognize when domestic violence may be occurring and to get victims
and children the help they may need. Not all children exposed to violence will respond
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
counselors and other adults in children’s lives to not only recognize and intervene in
21
Researchers further stress the importance of early intervention – of doctors, teachers,
in the same way, but there are many indirect effects and problems that you can see,
such as engaging in bullying, not being able to make friends, not eating or those with
extended school absences.
The researchers express that their study illustrates the importance of looking at how
family events affect children over time and the power of the intergenerational
transmission of violence. Todd Herrenkohl, UW associate professor of social work and
co-author of the study, states, "A key is early identification of this kind of problem, but it
is never too late to intervene to break the cycle of violence."
For more information about this study contact, Todd Herrenkohl at the University of
Washington at (206) 221-7873 or tih@u.washington.edu. For more information about
Mariposa County Project Respect, or how you can get involved in preventing bullying,
go to www.mariposarespect.org
Study: Schoolyard Bullies Four Times More Likely to Abuse Spouses as Adults
Schoolyard bullies are likely to grow up to be adults who abuse their wives and girlfriends,
according to a new study.
The study, published in the journal Pediatrics, surveyed more than 1,400 men between that ages
of 18 and 35 at an urban community center in Boston. It found that men who recalled being
frequent bullies in school were four times more likely to physically abuse their partner than
those who reported never bullying in school.
"Individuals who are likely to perpetrate abusive behaviors against others may do so across
childhood into adulthood," concluded the report, which was led by researchers at the Harvard
School of Public Health.
The study also found a link between "bullying others at school and perpetration of IPV
(intimate partner violence]."
involved in the criminal justice system.
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page
has shown that bullies are at a higher risk of bullying their own kids, losing a job, and getting
22
It was the latest study to indicate that many bullies do not outgrow their aggression. Past research
Adults with a history of bullying are 10 times more likely to lie than those with no bullying
history, according to a study published in the September 2010 Psychiatric Quarterly. They also
have a higher likelihood of stealing and cheating, the study found.
Mounting research suggests that for both men and women bullies tend to remain bullies.
Women, however, are less likely to be the aggressor in an intimate partner relationship,
according to developmental and behavioral psychologist Lori Warner in Royal Oak, Mich.,
who was not involved with the Harvard-led study.
"Girls who are engaging in actual bullying in school, it's typically a social, emotional type of
bullying," said Warner. "Boys are more likely to be physically aggressive."
The study was not clear on the age of the men first began to bully, or for how long they bullied
others.
"We really need to look at the timing and duration on the type of bullying that occurs," said
Kathryn Falb, a research assistant and doctoral candidate at Harvard School of Public Health,
who co-authored the study.
The new study indicates that identifying bullies when they are young and changing their
behavior can have significant consequences, particularly for women who might otherwise be
abused.
One such program is the peer advocate program at the PACER National Bullying Center in
Minnesota. And one of its graduates is Kailey Simpson, a 14-year-old who now considers herself
a reformed bully.
Kailey, from Howard Lake, Minn., said she had been a bully since at least sixth grade when she
coined herself the equal opportunity bully. But after entering a peer advocate program through
PACER National Bullying Prevention Center, Kailey has learned instead to stand up for others,
particularly those who are bullied. "Once you grow up, you get more mature about it," said
Simpson.
Page
bullying.
23
Warner said that many effective programs target the root problems of adolescents that cause
SC Delta Fellows Project
"Research does indicate that in many cases, the bullies are getting their behavior from
somewhere. They have witnessed like behavior," said Warner. "One of the biggest risk factors
is their environment."
Many bully prevention programs are just emerging, so there's no evidence yet to say whether
they can prevent bullies from sustaining their behavior in the long run.
Many programs, including PACER's peer advocate program, cite high success rates when it
comes to curbing bullying in schools. Warner said that the short term success could imply that
it'll help some kids in the long run.
"We'll be proactive if we're stopping bullies in the playground before they are involved in adult
crimes," said Warner.
General Bullying Statistics

6th-12th graders are the most likely ones to be involved in bullying.

12-17 yr. olds believe that violence has increased in their schools.

77% of kids in school are verbally bullied. Out of that 77%, 14% have a bad reaction
(become depressed, anxious about going to school, contemplate/attempt suicide).

1 in 7 students in grades K-12 is either a bully or victim.

282,000 students are reportedly attacked in high schools throughout the nation each
month.

56% of students have witnessed a bullying crime at school.

50% of students say they fear bullying in the bathroom at school.

71% of students report bullying is an ongoing problem.

1 in 10 students drops out/changes schools due to repeated bullying.

1 out of 20 students has witnessed a gun at school.

90% of students in 4th-8th grades report being bullied the most.

54% of students reported that witnessing physical abuse at home leads to violence in
school.
Nearly 1.5 million high school students experience physical abuse from a dating partner
every year.
SC Delta Fellows Project
Page

24
Dating Violence
1 in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped, or hurt by a boyfriend or
girlfriend.

Girls & Young Women between the ages of 16 & 24 experience the highest rate of
intimate partner violence.

4.8 million women and 2.9 million men are victims of intimate partner violence.

Nearly 1 in 5 girls reported when trying to break up, they were threatened.

30% of teens in a violent relationship are killed by their partner.

Each year 1,500 people die from intimate partner violence
Page
25

SC Delta Fellows Project
Don’t Laugh At Me
Written by Allen Shamblin and Steve Seskin
Sung by Mark Wills
The one they call “the geek.”
A little girl who never smiles,
Cause I’ve got braces on my teeth.
And I know how it feels
To cry myself to sleep.
I’m that kid on every playground,
Who’s always chosen last.
A single teenage mother,
Tryin’ to overcome my past.
You don’t have to be my friend,
But is it too much to ask?
Chorus:
Don’t laugh at me.
Don’t call me names.
Don’t get your pleasure from my pain.
In God’s eyes, we’re all the same.
Someday we’ll all have perfect wings.
Don’t laugh at me.
I’m the beggar on the corner.
You’ve passed me on the street.
And I wouldn’t be out there beggin,
If I had enough to eat.
And don’t think I don’t notice,
That our eyes never meet.
Page
26
Chorus:
I’m fat, I’m thin, I’m short, I’m tall, I’m deaf, I’m blind,
Hey, aren’t we all?
SC Delta Fellows Project
Post Evaluation Questions
1. Name two important facts as to how a Woman can be protected against Violence?
2. Is a woman’s confidence/ self-esteem level a direct correlation to whether or not
she allows herself to be subjected to violence?
3. What school programs or local seminars can be implemented to raise awareness to
school bullying and violence against women?
4. What can schools do to stop bullying?
5. Is social media a part of the problem or the solution when it comes to bullying?
6. Would you recommend this presentation be given to
a- Women only
b- Men and Women
c- Children
d- All of the above
7. How often do you think Bullying occurs in the school? When and where?
8. How often should this presentation be given in your community?
a-Once a year
B.-Twice a year
C.-Three time a year
Page
10. Would you recommend this presentation be given to other groups
in your community? Yes or No
27
9. Who would benefit most from this presentation: the victims or the abusers?
SC Delta Fellows Project
RESOURCES
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1.800.656.HOPE (4673)
South Carolina Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault
Page
28
(803) 256-2900 Fax: (803) 256-1030; (800) 260-9293 Nationwide
SC Delta Fellows Project