The Isolated Elderly
Final project Paper #3
Name: Shihui Ni Sym
Course: Seminar 126G
Prof: Teddy Chocos
Date: 12/16/2014
Ni1
With the great development of the society, the whole world got to be a lot busier than the
past, and once we slow down the pace we notice that there is still a group of people are in the
corner of the society, and seems like they could never follow our speed and gradually being
isolated by their family and even the whole society. We call them senior citizens, they are
identified as the most vulnerable group and usually over 60. Most of the younger generations
don’t like elderly because they think elderlies are slow, week, grumpy and stubborn. Also some
elderlies are trying to isolate themselves since most of cannot understand them. However, the
fact is that we do need elderly’s help for the society because they are most experienced people.
We should help elder people to get through all the troubles by showing them respect and cares.
people shouldn’t forget that senior citizens also have made a lot of contributions to our society,
and we should spend more time to listen and understand the stories from their generation, What’s
more is elder people themselves find the purpose of this age and try to learn the values from
modern society instead of isolating themselves.
First of all, we shall never forget about that without elderly’s work, the society would never
be the same today. However, many people still can’t see the contributions that elders make. As
Sharon Curtin mentioned in her article, “I sometimes have a dreadful fear that mine will be the
last generation to know old people as friends, to have a sense of what growing old means, to
respect and understand man’s mortality and his courage in the face of death, Mine maybe the last
generation to have a sense of living history, of stories passed from generation to generation, of
identity established by family history.” (Sharon Curtin, P274) By expressing her fear, she used
the word “dreadful”, which shows her worry that after her, young generation may never get the
chance to know the elder’s experiences, courage and suffering. She got anxious because there are
Ni2
not many young people could be patience and listen to elders so there would be less people know
that what happened in the past, and all their stories would be gone if younger people keep
ignoring elders. For younger generation, they should understand that everyone will become older
sooner or later and also elderlies were once as young as us. Elders have gone through all the ups
and downs of life so they have more life experiences than young people, if young people can
learn from the experiences then they would know how to avoid detours that they might encounter
later. What’s more, some elder people have made great contributions for their family, community
and even the society. For example, more and more elder people become the pillars of the family
when younger people can’t be at home all the time because of their own careers. Also, nowadays
a lot of elder people decide to donate their bodies to medical science and helped younger people
to achieve greater scientific development, which is very admirable. There are still a lot that
young people can learn from elders and they can help the society to gain more achievements for
a better future.
Moreover, we should spend more time with elders and help them to get away from the
feelings of helpless and isolated. Keeping them accompanied is the most important thing to do to
help elders feel the happiness. For elders, it is even more precious to have someone be with them
because they are easier to feel lonely. When people turn older they have to face the deaths of
their partner and friends, and there would be less and less people who can actually listen and
understand them. A lot of elders would choose stay in their own community rather than move in
with their family members because they already got used to the old environment, they can still be
who they are when they are with someone that can understand them instead being a burden for
their families. In Barbara Myerhoff’s article “So What Do You Want from Us Here”, she did an
Ni3
interview of an old lady Basha, to discover that how Jewish elders’ live their lives. When the
time Basha’s daughter invited Basha to move in with her family together, Basha refused that,
“Here I have lived for thirty-one years. I have my friends. I have the fresh air. Always there are
people to talk to on the benches. I can go to the Center whenever I like and always there’s
something doing there. As long as I can manage for myself, I will stay here.” (Barbara Myerhoff,
P52) Basha surely loves her daughter so she didn’t want to bring troubles to her daughter’s
family because she thinks that she couldn’t help with anything there and there are a lot of
differences between her and their generations, so they won’t understand her liker her own friends
do. She used the world “fresh air” to express that the how much does she need the freedom to do
what she actually wants to do. In her old place she can hang out with her friends, and she can talk
about the stories that only people that from her generation can understand. It’s just like when
children turn to a certain age, they would like to spend time with friends more than with family
because they think friends can always understand them better. Understanding and listening to
them is the most basic way to show our respect. Elders have their pride just like most of other
generations. They don’t want to be ignored and they hope there are someone who can really
communicate with them instead of just showing sympathy to them. So what young people should
do is to spend more time with elders to understand what they really need, and to keep them
accompany.
Last but not least, for elder people themselves, they should find the value and purpose of
their lives, and by doing that they will need to be open to change because once they find the
purpose of this stage, they will start enjoying their lives. Even though when people are in their
70th or even 80th, as long as they still have some faiths they wouldn’t feel it’s disappointing of
Ni4
being an old man. Malcolm Cowley had explained how he felt about being an eighty-year-old
man. In his article, “The View from 80”, he pointed that, “I sympathize with their problems, but
the man and woman I envy are those who accept old as a series of challenges. For such person,
every new infirmity is an enemy to be outwitted, and obstacle to be overcome by force of will.
They enjoy each little victory over themselves, and sometimes they win a major success.”
(Malcolm Cowley, P96) The author admired those elders who can face all the challenges and get
over them. Those people would never give up themselves just because of the physical changes,
they can always find little joy after suffering. Life might be really tough when people turn older
but no matter what, elders should still keep the faith and believe themselves. To have a positive
attitude toward being old would be very helpful for elders to get through all the difficulties.
People can never grow old emotionally. The major difference between younger generations and
elders is that young people always have dreams, goals, and purposes of life, and they keep trying
to reach them though they might fail sometimes so they wouldn’t feel empty or nothing to do.
For elder people is the same, if they can find a purpose of their lives, they will know what to
achieve every day, then they would feel that they are actually living rather than surviving.
In conclusion, during the process of growing older, people started suffering physical pain,
and their body and movements get slower than their mind. Sometimes it even takes few minutes
for them to just get off the bed. However, those shouldn’t be the excuses for elders to be isolated.
Young people should respect elders’ contributions to the society, and also need to try to
understand them. What’s also important is that elders should know the values of this stage of life
for themselves. Confucius is the one of the greatest philosophers in Chinese history, he once had
a really famous saying that illustrates the purposes of each stage of life. People that in their 15th
Ni5
should know that their job is to learn and lay the foundation for their future. By the time when
we turn to 30, we should work really hard for the careers. 40 is the time that we can answer all
the questions that we once had before. After 60 we gradually start to accept and follow god’s
will, and keep doing good for a better afterlife. I totally agree with the opinion that we all got
jobs to do even though when you get really older. You still have your own responsibly as a
member of this society.