Genre: Novel/Young person overcoming handicap
Author name: -------------------Book Title: ---------------------------Sub Title:
Manuscript Assessment: Good
Word Count: 40,023
Formatting—okay? (x) Yes () no
Comments: Formatted well for evaluation and editing.
Are illustrations, photos, graphs, and other graphics removed from text and available
separately and clearly marked? () yes () no (x) N/A
Editing needed? (x) Yes () no
Comments: You write very well and your opening will grab your reader’s attention with the
emotions you capture so well. However, some minor changes will improve readability and
formatting to comply with general editing and formatting practices. Most comply with the
Chicago Manual of Style. Publishers who distribute and sell books to the worldwide Englishspeaking markets prefer, if not insist on, manuscripts that meet that standard.
You start well, set scenes well, events vividly, and have a good manuscript. However, minor
changes will enhance the professional presentation of your fine manuscript.
These changes benefit your readers with improved readability.
The combined readability and formatting changes benefit you, as enhancing your
manuscript provides a positive impression on agents and acquisitions editors at publishing
houses.
Examples of Possible Editing and Format Changes:
Notes:
1. Words highlighted in yellow are new, added, or changed. Comments or questions in
brackets {} and highlighted in yellow and made bold are written to the author and require
an answer, a change, or are for you to consider. Words or punctuation with strikethroughs,
such as; this, are to be deleted.
2. These changes are examples only. No two editors will edit precisely the same way, thus
some changes here may differ from the final edited copy returned to you. Our editors do
make changes that comply with The Chicago Manual of Style, 16 th Edition.
On page 5 you wrote:
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"I’m going to get some coffee. Can I get you anything?" She is speaking in a low tone as if it’s
hurting her to talk too loudly.
“No thanks,” I say in a raspy voice feeling the tears slide down my face.
Eventually, I muster the energy to get up and scoot on my wheelchair. I hear her talking and
wonder which neighbor is here now? Then, when I enter the kitchen, I see she is on the phone with
her back facing me. She hasn’t obviously noticed me as I continue to stare at the back of her white
terrycloth robe. Her dark hair is tied in a messy bun with a grip, and she is wearing the blue
slippers I gave her for Mother’s Day last year.
"Yes, I think that would be a good change for the both of us. When do they want me? Friday?
Wow, that soon? Well, I guess I am really doing this then. Yes, Cindy is still having a hard time,
but I believe this may be exactly what we both need. Thank you, Troy I’ll speak to you soon. Oh,
and Troy, please make sure the apartment is wheelchair accessible. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Bye."
She hangs up and turns to me.
An edited version may read:
"I’m going to get some coffee. Can I get you anything?" she is speaking speaks in a low tone as if
it’s hurting it hurts her to talk too loudly.
“No thanks,” I say in a raspy voice feeling the tears slide down my face.
Eventually, I muster the energy to get up and scoot onto my wheelchair. I hear her talking and
wonder which neighbor is here now? Then, When I enter the kitchen, I see she is on the phone with
her back facing to me. She hasn’t obviously hasn’t noticed me as I continue to stare at the back of
her white terrycloth robe. Her dark hair is tied in a messy bun with a grip, and she is wearing the
blue slippers I gave her for Mother’s Day last year.
"Yes, I think that would be a good change for the both of us. When do they want me? Friday?
Wow, that soon? Well, I guess I am really doing this then. Yes, Cindy is still having a hard time,
but I believe this may be exactly what we both need. Thank you, Troy, I’ll speak to you soon. Oh,
and Troy, please make sure the apartment is wheelchair accessible. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Bye."
She hangs hung up and turns turned to me.
The changes made improve readability and fix formatting by making changes to sentence
structure, sentence flow, word choice, and formatting. Note that thoughts are set in italics.
Other changes convert passive voice to active voice. Active voice reads in the ‘here and
now’ and that adds impact to your text. Active voice is much more compelling and
interesting. It draws the reader into the narrative and makes the unfolding of events more
interesting and keeps them reading.
The intent is to enhance the presentation of your manuscript to publishers.
On page 7 you wrote:
The car accident wasn’t the worst of the crisis that hit our family. I got back up to live again,
except this time in a wheelchair. Dad, on the other hand, was in a coma for almost five years. As
much as there was hope for his recovery it was a year ago that he started regressing. There was no
more brain activity, and Mom had to make the agonizing decision to finally let him go. I couldn’t
even imagine how hard that was for her. We both felt the pain when we used to go in and sit with
him almost everyday. Nevertheless, it took his parents’ heartfelt pleas to Mom about giving him
the peace he deserved before she could finally find the strength to speed up the process of letting
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Dad go. If she didn’t and he continued living, he would be a vegetable on machines. It was so
unfair to me that Dad had to go through that. There is a part of me that just wished he died sooner,
even though we couldn’t bear life without him. Yet, even at my age I could understand that wasn’t
the way to live. At least I was up and about in a wheelchair. For the entire five years following the
accident, Dad was a prisoner of his hospital bed hooked up to what seemed like too many
machines. Unlike him, I got to have physical therapy and learn how to be functional from a
wheelchair.
An edited version may read:
The car accident wasn’t the worst of the crisis that hit our family. I got back up to live again,
except this time now in a wheelchair. Dad, on the other hand, was in a coma for almost five years.
As much as For a while there was hope for his recovery, but it was a year ago that he started to
regressing. There was no more brain activity, and Mom had to make the agonizing decision to
finally let him go.
I couldn’t even can’t imagine how hard that was for her. We both felt the pain when we used to go
went in and sit sat with him almost every day. Nevertheless, it took his parents’ heartfelt pleas to
Mom about giving to give him the peace he deserved before she could finally find found the
strength to speed up the process of letting and let Dad go. If she didn’t and he continued living, to
live he would be a vegetable on machines. It was so unfair to me that Dad had to go through that.
There is a part of me that just wished he died sooner, even though we couldn’t bear life without
him. Yet, even at my age I could understand understood that wasn’t the way to live. At least I was
up and about in a wheelchair.
For the entire five years following the accident, Dad was a prisoner of in his hospital bed hooked
up to what seemed like too many machines. Unlike him, I got to have had physical therapy and
learned how to be functional from a wheelchair.
These changes are much like those above. Breaking paragraphs into shorter ones helps your
readers with improved readability. It also prevents some ideas and thoughts from taking
precedence over others.
These and similar changes enhance the professional image of your manuscript.
On page 10 you wrote:
I never had to worry about depression or feeling isolated like what the therapists at the spinal cord
rehabilitation hospital had described. It was common amongst wheelchair bound individuals to
always feel so alone, but my friends never gave me a chance to feel that way. Jackson made sure I
knew he cared about me in the same way, only just learning how to do things a little differently, as
he put it. Carla and Jackie never left me alone. Every weekend, unless I had something to do with
Mom and then with Dad at the hospital, they were hanging out with me. Carla’s parents even made
sure they put a ramp by their front door, assuring me that I can come over whenever I want and that
there would never be any obstacles. I knew how lucky I was to have them, especially after Sheena,
my physical therapist, had commented. She told me I am blessed to have the support system that is
around me, and that many like me were still trying to find people that could understand them. It
was very common for family members to get outside help and just forget about the person who
now have to learn to cope in a much different way.
An edited version may read:
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I never had to worry worried about depression or feeling isolated like what the therapists at the
spinal cord rehabilitation hospital had described. It was common amongst wheelchair-bound
individuals to always feel so alone, but my friends never gave me a chance to feel that way.
Jackson made sure I knew he cared about me in the same way, only just learning how to do things a
little differently, as he put it. Carla and Jackie never left me alone. Every weekend, unless I had
something to do with Mom and then or with Dad at the hospital, they were hanging hung out with
me. Carla’s parents even made sure they put a ramp by to their front door, assuring me to insure
that I can come over whenever I want and that there would never not be any obstacles.
I knew how lucky I was to have them, especially after Sheena, my physical therapist, had
commented. She told me I am was blessed to have the support system that is around me., and that
She said many like me were still trying to find people that who would could understand them.
It was is very common for family members to get outside help and just forget about the person who
now have has to learn to cope in a much different way.
These changes are much like those above for the same reasons.
A professional editor will provide the necessary professional touches that will bring the full
impact of the message in your manuscript. Editor’s changes will conform to the Chicago
Manual of Style, general editing practice, and to correct formatting for publication.
1. The primary reason for changes is to benefit your readers by improving readability,
word flow, and tell your story with the impact it deserves.
2. A vital and important second consideration is that the changes present your
manuscript professionally. This makes a positive impression grabs the attention of
agents who may represent you or submission editors who accept or reject
manuscripts for publishers.
Typographical Errors/Style:
An edit will find and fix any of these that were overlooked.
Grammatical/Spelling Errors:
An edit will find and fix any of these that were overlooked.
Punctuation Errors:
An edit will find and fix any of these that were overlooked.
We know that you do not want to be embarrassed by mechanical errors within your text
(grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc.). Imagine a future reader picking up your book and
commenting that there are errors in it! Editing is one of the most essential pieces of
production. It is important to us that your book is error free. However, the choice for editing
is ultimately yours. As you know, you are responsible for the content within your book.
Further along in the production process, you will be required to sign off that you understand
this, and that we are not held responsible for errors. Therefore, I would like to suggest that
you consider having an editor go over your work one final time. You can choose any editor
you wish. We do have editors we have worked with over the years, who give us great
quality, great service, and great pricing. We usually have an editor who is familiar with your
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genre. We trust them and their quality, implicitly. Let us know if you would like to work with
them, or how you would like to proceed with corrections to your text. We are happy to
advise you, whatever you decide, and will be happy to send you a quote to help you make
your decision. We want the book to be as professional as you do!
The following elements of a book are optional; however, we suggest you use them if
possible:
Dedications? (x) yes () no
Comments: Worth considering.
Acknowledgments? (x) yes () no
Comments: Worth considering.
Table of Contents? (x) yes () no
Comments: A Table of Contents will add value to your manuscript. This is expected and
strongly recommended for books of 100 pages or more. A good Table of Contents will add
sales to readers who are online or bookstore browsers.
Index? () yes (x) no
Comments: Not required for this genre.
Introduction? (x) yes () no
Comments: Worth considering.
Illustrations? () yes (x) no
Comments:
Googled Author Name? (x) yes () no
Comments: Got a number of excellent hits for you as author. This will help marketing.
Googled Title? (x) yes () no
Comments: Got no direct conflicts, but a number using the word ‘Clouds,’ for this title. You
may want to consider adding a subtitle, but get feedback from marketing persons first.
Fact checking required: () extensive () moderate (x) minimal
Comments:
YOUR OPENING PARAGRAPH: Your opening is very good. You open with a good scene
that sets a fine tone, then the move to Seattle creates tension. You move to action, scenes,
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events, and the challenges that will engage your readers, particularly those who are
disabled at a young age.
You do a very good job of capturing the emotions, challenges, and overcoming issues of
both a person who is disabled after being able bodied and that person’s caretaker in your
writing. There are many young persons and others who will benefit from reading your book
for the hope it offers. You do have a gift.
(For what it is worth: I had a severe accident in my early 30s and spent a year and a half on
crutches with my wife a caretaker, although I did work most of the time. Much later on, my
wife contracted ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease) and I had my turn as caretaker.)
YOUR TITLE: Your title is a good one, but do consider adding a subtitle.
COVER and SIZE SPECIFICATIONS
Unless images or formatting necessitate a different size, your book will be the standard size
of 6 x 9 inches. Our standard cover type is soft cover, however if you would prefer it we can
publish your book with a hard cover. Please state your cover type preference when you
respond to this review. Hardcover book must contain 108 pages or more. (Hardcover is not
available for children's books or books with color pages.)
Your Conclusion: You write a good wrap up to this tale. It has a fine ending that will
satisfy your readers.
Legal Review Needed? () yes (x) no
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