Genre: Current History/Russian Transition from Communism to Modernity
Author name: ------------------------Book Title: --------------------------Sub Title:
Manuscript Assessment: Good
Word Count: 31,326
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Comments: You write well, however, changes will improve readability and formatting to
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prefer, if not insist on, manuscripts that meet that standard.
You start well, set scenes well, events vividly, and have a good manuscript. However,
changes and corrections will improve readability and enhance the professional presentation
of your fine manuscript.
These changes benefit your readers with improved readability.
The combined readability and formatting changes benefit you, as enhancing your
manuscript provides a positive impression on agents and acquisitions editors at publishing
houses.
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Notes:
1. Words highlighted in yellow are new, added, or changed. Comments or questions in
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an answer, a change, or are for you to consider. Words or punctuation with strikethroughs,
such as; this, are to be deleted.
2. These changes are examples only. No two editors will edit precisely the same way, thus
some changes here may differ from the final edited copy returned to you. Our editors do
make changes that comply with The Chicago Manual of Style, 16 th Edition.
On page 5, in your Preface, you wrote:
Our understanding of modernisation in this work is very broad. We see modernisation as a spread
of rational attitudes and practices since Judaism and early Christianity, being most fully expressed in
the formation of the ethics of Protestantism and reaching their structural fruition in the form of
modern institutions. The term "transformation" as it is used in this work is also broad and means
social change as such. Our work thus examines how the mechanisms of modernity influenced social
change in Russia at a wide time span. The most crucial point of change, when the driving forces of
modernity were particularly vivid, was the turn of the twentieth century. We therefore devote to this
period our special attention. Much of what happened in Russia thereafter - the communist rule and
the breaking out from it - cannot be clearly seen otherwise than in the light of the trends and the
events of the turn of the century.
An edited version may read:
Our understanding of modernisation in this work is very broad. We see modernisation as a spread
of rational attitudes and practices since Judaism and early Christianity., being This is most fully
expressed in the formation of the ethics of Protestantism and reaching reaches their structural
fruition in the form of modern institutions.
The term "transformation" as it is used I use it in this work is also broad and means social change as
such. Our This work thus examines how the mechanisms of modernity influenced social change in
Russia at over a wide time span. The most crucial point of change, when the driving forces of
modernity were particularly vivid, was the turn of the twentieth century. We Therefore we devote
special attention to this period. our special attention Much of what happened in Russia thereafter –
—the communist rule and the breaking out from it thereafter –—cannot only be clearly seen
otherwise than in the light of the trends and the events of the turn of the century.
The changes made improve readability and fix formatting by changes to sentence structure
and sentence flow. Some of the changes convert passive voice to active voice. Active voice
reads in the ‘here and now’ and that adds impact to your text. Active voice is much more
compelling and interesting. It draws the reader into the narrative and makes the unfolding
of events more interesting and keeps them reading.
The intent is to enhance the presentation of your manuscript to publishers.
On page 9 you wrote:
In a sense, what Russia is in the process of acquiring now is a new perception of the meaning of
politics. The nineteenth century nationalist awakening had led Russian intellectuals to look for the
model of their country’s development in classical antiquity. This they did in parallel with other
continental European thinkers for whom a blueprint for society was the classical model, built from
top down, strictly hierarchical and controlled by outstanding men. The rest of the populace were
expected to follow these leaders in implementing such model.
An edited version may read:
In a sense, what Russia is now in the process of acquiring now is a new perception of the meaning
of politics. The nineteenth century nationalist awakening had led Russian intellectuals to look for the
model of their country’s development in classical antiquity. This They did this in parallel with other
continental European thinkers for whom a blueprint for society was the classical model., It was built
from top down, strictly hierarchical, and controlled by outstanding men. The rest of the populace
were expected to follow these leaders in implementing such a model.
These changes are made to convert your writing from an academic style to a more personal
style that express your ideas. These and similar changes enhance the professional image of
your manuscript.
On page 13 you wrote:
Historically, there were various methodologies to describe Russia. Those who analysed her looking
from the inside - beginning with the writers, historians, and philosophers of the 19th century and
ending with the contemporary ones - were polarised into two main groups. The first group, the
Slavophiles, tended to mystify Russia and present her as a proverbial sphinx - not to be understood
rationally, but only to be experienced emotionally and through faith. Most of the writers of this
category stood on the ground of Russian Orthodox religion which cemented their ideology and
served as an agent of its dissemination among the broad strata of the society. The main crux of this
ideology was the conception of Russians as the chosen people who upheld the ideals of humanity in
an increasingly materialistic and dehumanised world. Russia was perceived as the third Rome, the
messianic nation called to save the world which had gone astray. The outside world was identified
mainly with Roman Catholicism which, according to Dostoyevsky had "yielded to the second
temptation of the devil", i.e. had exchanged spiritual values for earthly riches.
An edited version may read:
Historically, there were various methodologies were used to describe Russia. Those who analysed
her looking from the inside - —beginning with the writers, historians, and philosophers of the 19th
nineteenth century and ending with the contemporary ones- —were polarised into two main groups.
The first group, the Slavophiles, tended to mystify Russia and present her as a proverbial sphinx- —
not to be understood rationally, but only to be experienced emotionally and through faith. Most of
the writers of in this category stood on the ground of Russian Orthodox religion. which That
cemented their ideology and served as an agent of its dissemination among the broad strata of the
society. The main crux of this ideology was the conception of Russians as the chosen people who
upheld the ideals of humanity in an increasingly materialistic and dehumanised world.
Russia was perceived as the third Rome, the messianic nation called to save the world which had
gone astray. The outside world was identified mainly with Roman Catholicism. which, According to
Dostoyevsky it had "yielded to the second temptation of the devil,", i.e. had exchanged spiritual
values for earthly riches.
These changes are much like those above for the same reasons.
A professional editor will provide the necessary professional touches that will bring the full
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The following elements of a book are optional; however, we suggest you use them if
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Dedications? (x) yes () no
Comments: Worth considering.
Acknowledgments? (x) yes () no
Comments: Worth considering.
Table of Contents? (x) yes () no
Comments: You provide a Table of Contents that adds value to your manuscript. This is
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Contents will add sales to readers who are online or bookstore browsers.
Index? () yes (x) no
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Introduction? (x) yes () no
Comments: You provide a good introduction in your Preface.
Illustrations? () yes (x) no
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Googled Author Name? (x) yes () no
Comments: Got a number of excellent hits for you as author of the 1998 edition of this
book. This will help marketing.
Googled Title? (x) yes () no
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Fact checking required: () extensive (x) moderate () minimal
Comments: Check, as proofreading, the dates and time frames you use.
YOUR OPENING PARAGRAPH: Your opening is very good. You open with a fine
explanation of your subject, your overall treatise, events, and supporting evidence that will
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YOUR TITLE: Your title is a good one.
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