Bi Writers Association www.biwriters.org info@biwriters.org 917-583-1797
Myths & Realities of Bisexuality
Adapted by Sheela Lambert from “Myths/realities of bisexuality” by Sharon Forman Sumpter
from the book Bi Any Other Name, edited by Lani Kaahumanu and Loraine Hutchins.
MYTH: Bisexuality doesn’t exist.
TRUTH: People who are attracted to both men and women make up 2-25% of the population,
depending on the study. (By comparison: African-Americans make up about 12%.) The 2002
National Survey of Family Growth found that nearly 13% of women and nearly 6% of men said
they were attracted to both men and women, while 2% specifically identified as bisexual.
MYTH: Bisexual men don’t exist.
TRUTH: The bi community is full of bisexual men.
MYTH: Everyone is bisexual.
TRUTH: Many people’s sexuality is more fluid than their label. But there really are some
people who are exclusively gay or straight.
MYTH: All women are bisexual.
TRUTH: Sorry, but not true. Statistics do show that there are approximately twice as many
bisexual women as bisexual men. However, these statistics may be impacted by the fact that
women’s bisexuality is more socially acceptable in our culture.
MYTH: Bisexuals are equally attracted to men and women.
TRUTH: Some are, but some bisexual people tend to favor either the same or the opposite sex,
while recognizing their attraction to both of those genders. Some bi people are also attracted to
transgender people of various gender expressions.
MYTH: Being bisexual means having a male and female lover at the same time.
TRUTH: Not true. Bisexual simply means the potential for involvement with more than one
gender throughout a lifetime. Some bisexual people may have concurrent lovers, others are
monogamous. Some go through periods of celibacy or may still be a virgin. Being bisexual is the
ability to experience romantic and/or sexual attraction to more than one gender.
MYTH: Bisexuals are just on the slow train to Gayville.
TRUTH: Some people go through a transitional period of bisexuality before adopting a lesbian
or gay identity. For many others, bisexuality remains a long-term orientation. Also, identifying
as lesbian or gay is often a transitional phase in the coming-out process for bisexual people.
MYTH: Bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
TRUTH: It is natural for both bisexual and gay people to go through a period of confusion in the
coming-out process. When you are constantly told that you don't exist, confusion is a natural
reaction. Also: well-meaning gay friends of bisexual people often tell them their feelings toward
the opposite sex are residual and will fade away after spending time in the gay community. They
may identify as gay for months or years before realizing they are still, in reality, bisexual.
Bi Writers Association www.biwriters.org info@biwriters.org 917-583-1797
MYTHS: Bisexual people don’t marry same-sex partners; haven’t been thrown out of the
military for being bisexual; don’t get fired for being bi.
TRUTH: Many bisexual people have married their same-sex partner or are prevented from
doing so by law; have been kicked out of the military for bisexuality, had to live in fear of being
caught or being denied promotions; and have been fired from jobs for being openly bi.
MYTH: Bisexuals are dilettantes who don’t participate in LGBT rights activism.
TRUTH: Most bi people participate in LGBT rights activism in some way. Bi people
overwhelmingly vote for LGBT rights and candidates who support them; sign petitions LGBT
rights petitions; march in LGBT protest demonstrations and donate to and work for LGBT
groups, as both volunteers and staff.
Below are mini-bios of two historically important bisexual LGBT rights activists:
Brenda Howard (1946-2005) helped create and run the first march commemorating Stonewall
and many thereafter: what is now the annual LGBT Pride March in NYC, replicated around the
country and the world. She was an original member of Gay Liberation Front (GLF), Gay
Activists Alliance (GAA), was a founder of New York Area Bisexual Network (NYABN) and
was a tireless activist for LGBT rights, the bi community and other progressive cause her entire
adult life, all while working as a nurse.
Stephen Donaldson (1946-1996) aka “Donny the Punk” founded the country’s first officially
chartered student gay rights group at Columbia University on April 19, 1967 that spawned the
country’s student LGBT rights movement. Originally called “The Student Homophile League,”
it continues today as “Columbia Queer Alliance.” There is a plaque honoring Donaldson on the
queer lounge named after him at Columbia U. After graduating, Donaldson enlisted in the Navy
but was thrown out for bisexuality. He also served as president of Stop Prisoner Rape, after being
gang-raped in jail, after a protest. Donaldson died of AIDS-related complications.
TRUTH: Not everyone in the bi community uses the same identity label. Some prefer bi,
bisexual, pansexual, queer, fluid, use multiple labels or just hate labels altogether.
MYTH: Bisexuality is not natural, no animals are bisexual.
TRUTH: Most animal species are bisexual in much higher percentages than the human
population. (See Biological Exuberance by Bruce Bagemihl, Ph.D.)
MYTH: Bisexual people are promiscuous, swingers or are just oversexed.
TRUTH: Bisexual people have a range of sexual behaviors. Some have one partner; some have
two or more partners; some are single and dating; some are monogamous and committed; some
are polyamorous; some may be swingers; some are celibate. Bi people are no more sexually
active than gay or straight people.
MYTH: Bisexuals spread HIV/AIDS.
TRUTH: Unprotected sex spreads HIV infection--not sex with a bisexual person.
MYTH: Bisexuals can hide in the heterosexual community when the going gets tough.
TRUTH: To "pass" for straight and deny your bisexuality is just as painful and damaging for a
bisexual person as it is for a gay person. People who openly identify as bi or bisexual are not
trying to pass.