When Your Computer or Printer Fails
If any of the following information sounds harsh to you, remind yourself that college is just around the
corner, and professors are not going to accept excuses. Remind me sometime to tell you the true story
about a professor who would not cut me any slack whatsoever on a deadline, despite the fact that I had
an A in his class, he respected me as a student, I approached him well before the deadline, and clearly
explained the crisis and need for an extension. I was truly shocked, but I learned a valuable lesson that
I now pass on to you.
What not to do:
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Don’t simply give up! Be a problem-solver. Too many students choose “Give Up” or “Make an
Excuse” as options. No one ever gave up on going to a party because she misplaced the invitation
or couldn’t print the Google map directions. If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not,
you’ll find an excuse. Choose a solution from the lists below.
Please do not have your parent e-mail me or write you an excuse note as proof. I already believe
you. Why? Because technology will malfunction from time to time; it’s a fact of modern life that
you need to anticipate.
Please do not wave a USB memory stick / thumb drive at me and ask to print your paper in class. If
teachers were to make an exception for you, they would have to make an exception for every
student who asked, and that is not possible. Papers are due when you walk through the door at the
beginning of class.
Please do not e-mail me your paper. I am not equipped with the time or the resources to print
students’ essays for them, nor is it my responsibility. Again, if teachers were to make an exception
for you, they would have to make exceptions for every student who asked, and that is not possible.
Please do not approach my desk with excuses or expecting me to find a solution. I have already
listed all the solutions I know below. Your paper is either A) On time in class or B) Somewhere
else in the universe. If it is somewhere else in the universe, I don’t need to know where it is or why
it is late. When I approach your desk to collect your assignment, you could say something simple,
such as, “I plan to turn in my essay to you tomorrow.” Enough said.
Plan ahead. Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.
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Start your assignment ahead of time. Ask questions ASAP if you don’t understand.
Stock an extra ream of printer paper.
Stock an extra printer ink cartridge, and learn how to install it by yourself if no adults are home.
Don't wait until midnight the night before to print your assignment.
E-mail the first draft of your essay to yourself, and print a draft copy. That way if your
computer self-destructs you won’t lose absolutely everything you worked on, and you can at
least re-create some of your essay.
Make use of the school’s computer lab if necessary. I'm happy to write you a pass to the
computer lab; just make sure you give yourself ample time to complete the assignment.
If you have planned ahead and your printer dies, you have these options:
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Ask me for a pass to one of the school’s computer labs. I'm happy to write you a pass.
E-mail the assignment to a trusted friend and ask him/her to print it for you. “Help! Dude, my
printer totally died and I have a five-page paper due for Mrs. Garcia! I would be eternally
grateful if you could print this for me and meet me at my locker before Period 1 tomorrow.
Please call me to confirm if you’d be willing to help me out like that. Thanks. You’re a bud. I
owe you one!” (If he follows through for you, at some point you should buy this guy lunch.)
Take your memory stick to school and print your paper in the computer lab before Period 1,
during lunch, or during study hall.
E-mail the assignment to yourself, then retrieve and print it at school or the p-public library.
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Go to a friend’s house and print your paper from your memory stick or e-mail.
Take your memory stick to Staples and have them print it for you.
If you have planned ahead and your computer dies, you have these options:
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Ask me for a pass to one of the school’s computer labs. I'm happy to write you a pass.
Ask a friend if you can go over his/her house to type your assignment.
Use the computer at the public library.
If your parent has the kind of office that is open on weekends, ask him/her if you can use the
computer there.
If you have not planned ahead and your printer dies, you have these options:
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E-mail the assignment to a trusted friend and ask him/her to print it for you. “Help! Dude, my
printer totally died and I have a five-page paper due for Mrs. Garcia tomorrow! I would be
eternally grateful if you could print this for me and meet me at my locker before Period 1
tomorrow. Please call me to confirm if you’d be willing to help me out like that. Thanks. You’re a
bud. I owe you one!” (If he follows through for you, at some point you should buy this guy lunch,
especially if your call/text woke him from a dead sleep.)
Take your memory stick to school and print your paper in the computer lab before Period 1. This is
cutting it close.
After you have uploaded it to TurnItIn.com, write the paper by hand. Yes, I know it will be slow
and tedious. Printers may fail, but your hand will not fail unless your willpower does. It is always
better to turn in a neatly handwritten assignment (or a previous draft) and lose points rather than
not turn in the assignment at all. At least I can see that you completed it.
If you have not planned ahead and your computer dies the night before a deadline,
you have these options:
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Print the paper by hand. Yes, I know it will be slow and tedious. Printers may fail, but your hand
will not fail unless your willpower does. It is always better to turn in a neatly handwritten
assignment (or a previous draft) and lose points rather than not turn in the assignment at all. At
least I can see that you completed it. This does not allow you to upload to TurnItIn.com, but you
may be able to salvage some points for trying.
Call a crazy friend whose permissive parents don’t mind you coming over from 9-12 PM to type a
paper?
Find an open-all-night Internet café?
(See how your options are looking a little thin now?)