CONTROLLING
DOWNLOADS
THE
SEXUAL
i-Parent Series- Part 7
Dr. Dave Currie
“Skin is in” when it comes to this generation. Sensuous images flash across TVs, in
theatres, on iPods and computer screens, often unsolicited. Master a sex talk that
empowers your child.
A. LIMITING WHERE YOUR CHILDREN GET SEXUAL CONTENT FROM
1. ______________ INLUENCE: TV, movies and videos exploit the innocence of
our children with strong sexual inference and images.

The blatant assumption of non-marital sexual involvement.

The nuance of adult jokes and sexual innuendos.

The repeated insinuation of going to have sex though not shown.

The cool portrayal of teen and adult sex.

The sex scenes that are showing everything but genitals.

The abysmal examples of the Hollywood Icons

The desensitization of our kids to sexual “Sacredness”
2. ______________ INFLUENCE: The uncensored, instant and anonymous nature
of the Internet make it one of the most dangerous and damning influences
on our child’s sexual worldview.

Tweeners spend more time on the Internet than watching TV.

Unsupervised computer use at home is a hotbed for trouble.

Mobility of Internet access with cell phones is dangerous for teens.
i-Parent Series
Part 7
© Dr. Dave & Donalyn Currie

There were 4.2 million pornographic websites in 2007.


Facebook freedom creates new sexual and relational voyeurism.
Skype & video conferencing are openings for sexual exhibitionism.

Sexting is growing without restraint with few moral boundaries.

Predators are alive and well and preying on innocent kids.
3. _______________ INFLUENCE: Through the sexual jokes and crude talk, the
disrespectful or distasteful attitudes, and the unhealthy and callous sexually
exploitive actions of adults and peers, your young teen’s attitude toward sex
is being primarily and deeply forged those in their network.

Older siblings explain and model sexual experiences and directions to
the younger.

Unsupervised, uncoached peers introduce multiple unwise and
ungodly standards.

Potty-mouthed significant others like coaches, teachers, and even
extended family give the wrong sexual impression and example

Older kids at school have daily access to influence your child’s curious
mind about sex.

Puberty-driven young teens in your children’s network (neighborhood
kids, cousins, siblings, baby-sitters) can be an unsafe place of direct
sexual impact and exposure.
B. GENERAL FACTORS TO CONSIDER ABOUT SEXUAL INSTRUCTION IN THE
HOME

TIMING: How early should it start?

SOURCE: Why is it best first from parents?

CONTENT: What all should I include in the talk?

RELUCTANCE: How do I get over their hesitance and mine?

FOLLOW-UP: How often should I revisit it?

GRADUATED: How do I know what is age-appropriate?
i-Parent Series
Part 7
© Dr. Dave & Donalyn Currie
C. PREPARING FOR THE “TALK” WITH YOUR PRE-TEEN
1. Be ________________ – don’t make excuses. You have to make the time to
have the talk! It is both parental wisdom and your responsibility. It will save
your child a world of hurt if you coach them well in this area.
2. Get ________________ before the talk. Discuss and determine with your
spouse:
a. The principles you want to teach then (your family core values).
b. The variety and depth of the sexual issues you will cover.
c. Write these principles and issues down for further reference.
3. Be ______________– consider each child’s uniqueness. That being said far
better to have YOU and fit your discussions to their maturity. Be gradual and
age-appropriate with your sexual answers. Always be alert for teachable
moments prior to the official talk.
4. Set a _____________ – plan a specific event or time away with each child.
Make it your goal to deliver the “whole package” by age 11 with the parent
of the same sex.
5. Get ____________ – err on the side of being really open and thorough.
Children usually know more than you think and prefer to act innocent
though they have likely heard a lot. They are likely just as awkward talking to
you about sex as you are with them.
6. Check back often to ___________. Be sure to follow up with more discussion
within the next month, 6 months and year. Keep an open-door
approachability and work to maintain an ongoing conversation.
7. Include ____________ _____ parent endorsement and encouragement.
Follow up the initial discussion with further healthy perspective and
interaction in a cross-gender fashion.
8. Get wise and get ______________. Seek out the right resources to guide you
further in your talk.
Remember, the greater the relationship, the greater the influence.
D. THE TOP WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR KIDS FROM PREDATORS
i-Parent Series
Part 7
© Dr. Dave & Donalyn Currie
1.
2.
Coach them early on what is good touch & bad touch. Anything that
makes them feel uncomfortable should be talked through with a trusted
parent. Include healthy boundaries within your family and extended
family too.
Work to have them feel secure and safe with you. Though every parent
may assume this, it is how you treat them with your love and gentleness
that will enable them to feel free to come to you when they need to.
3.
Invite open dialogues about how their outside relationships. How are
things going with their friendships, their times away, any sleep-overs, safe
feelings with extended family members, their teachers, coaches, club
leaders and any other significant adults in their life.
4.
Instruct them on how to handle a predator’s approach. Explain to them
the kinds of ploys that might be used. Go through possible scenarios with
them and coach the best responses.
 Approached by a stranger – practice what they would say and
do.
 Someone wanting to be alone with you – keep secrets – offer
gifts.
 Someone wants you to get into their car – kick, fight, scream,
run, scratch.
 Situations or someone that makes you feel uncomfortable or
afraid.
NOTE: If anyone or anything makes you feel “weird”, always go with your
inside feelings and tell mom & dad!
5.
Develop a Family Code Word that only your family members know. This
way your children can confirm whether an appeal allegedly from their
parents through a stranger is really legitimate and safe.
6.
Put Healthy Boundaries in place. Staying over night at someone’s home
should have specific safety measures in place. Children should not be
allowed to play in any room with closed doors. You should know the
parents of the home and have talked with them. You should discuss your
family guidelines on television, computers, and safe play. Be aware of
without being afraid of older siblings of that home.
7.
Keep your computer in very public place in your home. There needs to
be a “no closed doors” policy. Public access increases accountability
and thus protection.
8.
Install a child safe Internet filter for sexual content and predators. This will
even prevent your child from accidently going to dangerous places. It
i-Parent Series
Part 7
© Dr. Dave & Donalyn Currie
will also block any attempts from outside predators. We suggest Net
Nanny, CYBERsitter, or Be Safe.
9.
Explain how predators work online. Educate them on not giving out
personal information ever without parental approval. If they do get
solicited, have them tell you right away. Reward them like they are being
a good cop, as they are protecting other children too.
© Dr. Dave Currie – April 2011
i-Parent Series
Part 7
© Dr. Dave & Donalyn Currie