My Kind Of Woman
And
My Kind Of Man
As Written By:
Mr. Ben
Preface
As a woman, if you were asked the question; `who is your kind of man'?, it is almost
certain a number of responses you'd give. Also, there would be several responses
given to the same question if other ladies were asked. To the male folks, you might
hear them say; ` a beautiful young woman', `a lady with an attractive physique', `a
woman that is all-complete', `that lady who can cook very well and carry out
household chores', ` a woman of integrity, respect, intellect, obedience and sincerity'.
On the other hand, a number of ladies would prefer the qualities; wealth, care,
appearance and responsibility present in their spouses.
In themselves, the requirements are not bad and positively task both parties to `work'
on themselves for a `get-along' purpose. Nonetheless, do these qualities make
relationships worthwhile?
Alas, it is unequivocally the fact that men and women whose criteria for their kind of
women and men respectively are based on the previously stated requirements do not
really get to appreciate the union with their spouses as demise or break-ups, separation
or divorce, if married, infidelity and lack of trust become the order of the day. Without
a doubt, this is due to the transient nature of these qualities-they are subject to change.
Interestingly, people have smartly conceptualized the catchy phrases; `my ideal man'
and `my ideal woman' to assert the kind of men and women whose virtues are up to
their taste. Come to think of it, are they ideal men and women? Absolutely no! This
category of men and women fail to take cognizance of compatibility being a function
of ability to completely adjust values and dispositions of themselves and their spouses
in order to attain agreement in all areas of life, continually. Simply, the `idealness'
they crave for is somewhat unattainable. Nevertheless, it can be followed continually
just as the sea mariners chart their courses by the stars in the skies.
Paradventure you want to know the kind of man or woman an upright woman or man
should crave for, then it's about time the cat out of the bag! How? Though it's a matter
of choice, My Kind Of Man and My Kind Of Woman is an ever-chaste born again
sister and brother. Find out more in this classic.
Mr. Ben
Dedication
To men and women looking for their missing ribs
Acknowledgement
First of all, all thanks be given to God because He remains the author and finisher of
all my classics (this inclusive)
To all my family members, friends and well-wishers who have given their `go-ahead'
encouragement, I would say a big `thank you'. You are my dearest!
Introduction
The classic is a rare-to-find two-titled work piece that extensively sheds light on
criteria many men and women use to ascertain their spouses' fitness for relationships
and marriages and vividly identifies their flaws. A second-to-none gem, it goes a long
way in affirming the should-be kind of man and/or woman, though based on choice.
My Kind Of Man and My Kind of Woman are a must-read and must-have materials
that clearly recognize reasons many marriages fail and relationships decline. Yet, it
asserts to interested and women their right kind of spouses.
In this book, readers will get to appreciate the essence of having the right partners for
a life-long union or worth-remembering relationship leading marriage. It is a worth
considering masterpiece. Irrespective of race, status or culture, it is a sure-bet for
successful relationships.
The come-to-stay interest elucidates seven major criteria (each) that constitute reasons
many relationships and marriages fail to work out. They are arranged in the following
formats:
My Kind Of Woman
1. Chapter 1: Wealth/Money
2. Chapter 2: Responsibility/Maturity
3. Chapter 3: Background
4. Chapter 4: Appearance and Intellect
5. Chapter 6: Sexuality
6. Chapter 7: Defense
Also, for My Kind Of Woman,
1. Chapter 1: Appearance
2. Chapter 2: Sexuality
3. Chapter3: Wealth/Money/Financial independence
4. Chapter 4: Intellect
5. Chapter 5: Background
6. Chapter 6: Behavioral disposition
7. Chapter 7:Level of handling home affairs (matters)
Readers will certainly come to the realization that though they are worth being termed
`criteria', turn-outs of these qualities in many relationships and marriages have not
yielded anticipates success stories. Nonetheless, it gives a clear-cut suggestion of who
their right spouses should be (with irrefutable reasons)
The concluding part of this timeless relationship and marriage guide has a striking
statement, integrating the should-be kind of man and woman.
Every chapter in each title explains the interesting benefits of considering the qualities
as criteria for relationships and marriages, explores their weaknesses and asserts the
`right things'. What are those `right things'?
Particularly helpful to aspiring (young) Christian brothers and sisters, this classic will
undoubtedly help them rightly position them to locate their kind of spouses. Also,
those who are seeking for good relationships and marriages will find this work piece
interesting and practicable. Moreover, would-be married couples will get to appreciate
the essence of this profound work.
It is about time we got started!
My
Kind
Of
Man
Chapter 1
Wealth/Money
When a relationship or marriage is existent without physical wealth, such a union may
suffer setbacks. A number of ladies are of the view that marriages seldom hit the rocks
due to the absence of wealth. To this end, they believe their man whom they intend
getting married to or involving themselves in relationships with must possess wealth.
Would you blame them?
Relationships and marriages hit the rocks owing to the absence of money. To some
ladies, `money strengthens many relationships and marriages and adds spice to them'.
Without money, most relationships and recognized marriages almost amount to
nothing!
A woman needs good clothes, accessories and other fashion outfits to look good. To
attain these feats, she needs money. Nonetheless, what is most desired is absent. She
claims to have a confidant; someone who she's in a deep relationship with. Yet, he
hardly can eke a living. To you, what do you think would likely be the aftermath of
such union?
The Holy bible, the wisest book in the world tells us that money answers all things. If
you doubt this, then read this story:
Vince, a fresh graduate from one of the world's prestigious citadel of higher learning,
recently got married to his childhood heartthrob, Lucia. In fact, their wedding
ceremony was a talk-of-the-town event as the society's `who is who' came form all
nooks and crannies of the country and Diaspora to grace the memorable event. Indeed,
as an attendee, it was a red-lettered day to me.
Three years on, their marriage started experiencing `down-turns' as Vince was not
leaving up to his responsibility as head of the family. Although his ever-understanding
wife, Lucia, a high salary earner, never made complaints of Vince's financial
incompetence, it was crystal clear the home was heading the direction of dis-
equilibrium; Lucia was responsible for rents, bills and other miscellaneous expenses
which ought to be borne on Vince.
It got a point Lucia could not stomach burden encountered in incurring expenses for
the day-to-day affairs of the home and simultaneously cateringfor herself, Vince and
her two-month- old bay, Cameron. From a bad-to-worse situation, Vince lost the
mantle of being the family head and was subject to Lucia's strange and sudden
instructions, since she had become bread winner.
As time progressed, Lucia couldn't afford to unnecessary couldn't afford to foot the
home's utility bills and other expenses. She found solace in the abode of a well-to-do
business merchant, Bobby. In no time, Bobby stole her heart and this made Lucia,
without any remorse, filled for a divorce which she eventually got.
As I write this, Vince, now gainfully employed is in custody of his two-year old
Cameron. If Vince was opulent enough to shoulder his responsibilities as the man of
the house, do you think Lucia would divorce him?
More often than not, a lot of women assert that the men they would give their hands in
marriage to or be in serious relationship with must have the finance to meet up with
their demands. In a way, this mindset, perhaps results from the aftermaths of
relationships or marriages they've been in or lessons learnt from the lives of their
parents when growing years. On the other hand, their male counterparts, knowing this
mindset, in order not to loose their `precious pearl' to rivals, go the length of
manipulating certain dispositions, all in the name of acquiring wealth or making
money using cut-corner methods. They carry out the acts of manipulation, not
minding the immediate after-consequences of their actions.
However, a relationship or marriage not based on (true) love but money will
unequivocally experience more hard times contrary to the en vogue view of people
especially women; over-prioritizing money or wealth as basis of relationship or
marriage. To an extent, a number of ladies who venture into relationships or marriages
with their souses on grounds of monetary availability end up getting not contended
because the engine known as true love is out of the picture and hence, they are robed
off happiness and fulfillment. This is one of the reasons you see a lot of women who
are married to or in relationship with opulent men more depressed, confused and
unfulfilled than they were prior to their current union. They are denied of affection,
care, intimacy, attention access to information and other important marital values.
Rather, they are subjugated to stringent rules by their spouses who know the union
they find themselves is on the basis of money and see their female partners as `bargain
beneficiaries'.
An ever-chaste born again Christian sister operates on a different dimensional scale.
Over the years, she had prepared herself by acknowledging the bible-based principle
of true love as the lasting foundation of a successful marriage and genuine or serious
relationship. She unequivocally works with the consciousness that though money
answers all things, wisdom is the most principal thing and in acquiring it, she gets
understanding which is tantamount to wealth acquisition. Moreover, she ardently
follows the biblical assertion: `the love of money is the root of all evil' by prioritizing
wisdom; embracingtrue love instead of money.
Here, the term of `wealth' is synonymous with `money'.
Chapter Two
Responsibility/Maturity
In a survey of ten women, say, when asked if they can settle down in marriage or
engage in healthy relationship with their male age mates, younger than they are or
older men, at least, five of them would likely prefer engaging in relationships with or
giving their hands in marriage to older men. The reason is simple: they are more
mature and hence, are able to handle certain responsibilities properly. Is there an iota
of truth in this assertion?
To some ladies, maturity goes with age. Hence, the reason many ladies go for older
men. They believe the older male folks are more experienced in handling the affairs of
women and leave up to certain responsibilities than their age mates. For instance, a
well advanced-in-years older person is believed toknow at all times, his woman craves
for attention which he has to oblige her whereas if the woman happened to be in a
relationship with or married to her male age mate, such attention craved for will not
be granted as he would be busy either gratifying himself or carrying out other pressing
activities.
As a matter of fact, some ladies naively are steadfast to the viewpoint of not
respecting their spouses who are their age mates. Instead, they are convinced that
respect should be given to older folks. In simple terms, their marriage to or
relationship with older men will give them grace to submit in respect to their older
spouses.
However, does age really has anything to do with maturity? Because older men are
believed to understand the longings or needs of many young ladies doesn't necessarily
make them responsible. Does it? To be candid, has experience really made men who
are advanced in years more responsible?
Edward, a Japanese returnee, got married at age 32 to his 22-year-old sweetheart,
Sandra. A ten-year difference ought to be an obvious mark of maturity and Edward's
keenness to embrace responsibility in the day-to-day sustenance of his marriage.
However, the reverse was the case.
Until quite recently, Edward, before he met Sandra, was a hardened chain smoker,
junkie and chronic womanizer. During his courting years with Sandra, he withdrew
these habits from Sandra's notice only to showcase them after having two issues with
her.
His negligence of responsibility as the man of the house and husband and immaturity
in handling sensitive issues of his family have somewhat created a total disorder in his
household ranging from dysfunctional psyche of his now-grown children to the
incessant insult on his wife. Sometimes, Sandra regrets marrying him; sees him as
irresponsible and not matured enough for marriage.
On the other hand, an ever-chaste again sister practically works with the biblical
dictate that states `wives submit yourselves to your husbands'. In other words, she is
aware that respect is not dependent on age, neither is it deserved but earned. Not age,
she operates with the mindset that affirms maturity; a thing of the mind, not necessary
a product of experience. She knows she must submit (in love) by respecting the
headship of her souse, knowing will she will be respected in return.
Chapter Three
Background
Some women are of this view that relationships and marriages (in terms of
compatibility) are best shared when their spouses and they have one thing in commonsimilar background.
In many countries of the world, women marry or get to be in relationships with men
who share similar backgrounds; family, educational or tribal/racial inclination. We
will consider these background forms as they affect women's selection for their kind
of men.
1. Family background: An organized family where all principles regarding
etiquettes and other interests are heed to the letter will undoubtedly have a huge
say on its members dealings with people. Precisely, in a family where there are
females, the family heads would have (one way or the other), from their
childhood years to their early adulthood to get involved and or marry someone
of similar background.
There are several reasons for this. However, we will consider two. They include;
family history and interest accomplishment
a. Family history: Especially in third world nations, this issue is unequivocally
very essential particularly for women who intend involving themselves in
relationships or getting married. Women generally prefer to get married to or
involve themselves in serious relationships with men whose family histories are
remarkable. Health records in the form of hereditary prevalence become
imperative. Conditions such as Diabetes, Asthma, Madness, Sickle cell
diseases, Kleptomania, Attention Deficient Disorder and other psych-socio
ailments are certain investigations a lot of ladies want to know before making
definite decisions. Also, the knowledge of their spouses' present health is what
they look out for (for instance, test for HIV and other sexually transmitted
diseases).
Moreover, spirituality and other beyond-the-physical devotions the families of their
spouses are engaged in are another concern to them. In addition, some ladies go the
length of thoroughly finding out the kind of marriage the families (members) are in,
particularly the men, and how well they get to stay married.
b. Parental relationship: Mr. and Mrs. Martin Skate are family friends with Mr.
and Mrs. O' Brien for three decades. The former has three children; two
daughters and a so while the latter has just a child; a daughter. Interestingly,
they are all grown ups.
What's fascinating is that McLaren, the only son of Mar and Mrs. Skate, got married
to Stacey, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. O' Brien, courtesy of the relationship existing
both parents Mrs. Skate and Mrs. O' Brien ingenuinely orchestrated the fellowship
between Stacey and McLaren right form their high school days to the day McLaren
called bachelorhood quits.
Sometimes, women are married or in serious relationships with men based on this
revelation. Many parents see this platform to properly `cement' their existing
relationships.
c. Interest accomplishment: Strange, it seems but very true it is; the reason behind
`my kind of man' philosophy to some women. Rampant amongst ambitious
women with humble background status, this is seen everywhere in the world.
We hear on the radio, watch the Television, hear the News or read the Dailies
of how ladies or what some people generally term `opportunists' have their way
in the hearts of captains of industries, accomplish their aspirations and leave
their eventual spouses to fate.
2. Educational background: Select at random twenty ladies and present them with
a questionnaire that reads `what qualities make man fit you?' Do not be
surprised when you hear at least two-third of them say something like `he must
be educated; at least a B.Sc degree and a working-class literate'.
Indeed, this is an en vogue statement in the utterances of many women. Some reason
that they cannot imagine themselves being a relationship or getting married to
someone who is not up to their standards; education-wise. Others argue that if their
spouses are not as educated as they are, the financial endowment and a profiting
occupation are prerequisites for a life-long union to begin (proper).
3. Tribal/Racial background: A considerable number of women prefer their kind
of men to be either be of the same tribe or race with them. For example, a
typical Jewish lady would prefer being in a serious relationship with or getting
married to a Jewish man. Also, a Punjab lady would want to be in a serious
relationship with or get married to Punjab young man rather than settle with a
`stranger' (foreigner).
On second thought, does background really matter or cats as criterion for ladies as to
knowing their kind of men? The answer to this question is reflected in your answer
you give to the question `in all sincerity, have educational, family and tribal/racial
background really brought you the craved-for fulfillment, happiness, peace and
comfort in the union with your spouse'?
On the other hand, an ever-chaste born again sister , though familiar with criterion;
background to knowing one's kind of man works in the light that is consonance with
the biblical recognition; therefore, there is neither male, female, Jew nor Greek…' and
sees everyone as equals. Simply put, she knows and demonstrates this: true love
transcends the recognition of the various background forms (with God on her side)
Chapter Four
Appearance and Intellect
It is said: `the way you are dressed will determine how you'd be addressed'. More
often than not, most decent girls will not `condescend' to the point of giving audience
to suitors whose appearance looks shaggy or are seen as `unpresentable' to them.
Instead, they are at home to guys whose looks are decent, going by their judgment.
To demonstrate the essentiality of this quality, I would like to ask you a question:
`what would be your reaction when a shabby-looking young man in a subtle manner
and voice boldly proposes a relationship, marriage or even asks you to go on a date
with'?
Intellect
Haven't you heard women, particularly celebrities, when asked what attracted them to
their spouses, say; `I married because of his intellectual prowess', `I'm in a
relationship with him because he's got some intelligence', `I'm in love with him
because he's intelligent' and so on?
A typical 21st-century woman cannot imagine being a situation with a man whom she
calls her spouse that can hardly write a sentence or spell a word! Some would say
something like `how I can marry a man who can't spell his name? That's a burden and
a snare to the abyss of marital discomfort'.
On the contrary, an ever-chaste born again Christian sister practically knows that in
abiding wholeheartedly to God's instructions as written in the Holy bible, appearance
is no key priority because it is temporal but being able to truly understand what the
suitor has within as expressed in intentions and workability of purpose is vital because
looks are deceptive. Moreover, she has built herself on the threshold that all wisdom
and every form of intelligence come from God and the wisdom of men is foolishness
to God. Ladies, remember this: good husbands come in unattractive packages.
Chapter Five
Character
Every woman's dream is to be in a relationship with or get married to a man whose
character is good and worth recognizing. Women want men whose attitudes can make
them successfully attain fulfillment in their chosen endeavours. Although it's every
woman's dream but only a handful of women realize it. Why?
It takes two to tango; meaning, if a woman wants (good) behavioural patterns in her
man, then she ought to possess that quality. Alas, many women are oblivious of this
`two-must-agree' arrangement. The few ladies that get to engage in relationships with
or marry men of good character are those whose comprehension is a reflection of the
principle; character, a building factor, is best appreciated in a relationship and
marriage when values of both parties are really compatible. In other words, a good
character of a man should be in consonance with a good character coming from his
spouse or at least, the good behavoural disposition of man should suppress the notgood behaviours of his spouse.
Generally, women, if asked their kind of men, would enlist a whole lot of
accommodating qualities; care, affection, patience, tolerance attention gentleness and
so on. However, if put to test to ascertain whether or not they possess these virtues to
attract their kind of men, it is certain the result will be minority. Simply, just a few
women are bonafide to deserve their anticipations.
An ever-chaste born again sister is one of the selected few ladies that get to engage in
serious relationship with or marry her kind of man because she practically had
imbibed and continually demonstrate in all ramifications the bible's descriptions of a
virtuous woman.
Chapter Six
Sexuality
One factor that attracts people, irrespective of race, status, background or socioeconomic and political differences is the issue of sexuality (sex). In fact, many
relationships and marriages exist because of this factor. Thus, do not be stunned to be
informed the reason some female celebrities are married or in relationship is simply
because of sex!
One of the salient qualities most women crave for in their men is the virtue known as
loving or active. Put simply, women prefer their men to be `men enough' for themloving and active. To a large extent, what they really mean is expressed in the ability
of their men to demonstrate sexuality-depict manhood in terms of either rendering
them their sexual due or gratifying them sexually. Anything wrong?
No doubt, good sex, in the context of marriage, is something worth waiting for.
Imagine if you are in school and your mum instructed you not to eat anything called
food during school hours till you get home because she was, at the time of your stay in
the house, preparing mouth-watering meat for you; your favourite food. If you love
your mother by patently holding long enough to endure the imminent inconvenience
(hunger), you'll certainly enjoy your mum's well-prepared meal when you get home.
In the same vein, women who decide to be chaste are `building up' great sexual
appetite to really enjoy the meal of `good sex' in the home of marriage with their
spouses, thanks to carrying out mum's (God's recognized) instruction of no food of
pre-marital sex before marriage. On the other hand, if you decide to eat, during school
hours before coming home, then you will not really get to enjoy mum's prepared meal
because there will be no complete appetite. Of course, no thanks to your before-now
eating during school hours. Similarly, a lot of women who had engaged in sexual
intercourse with different men miss out in the eventual and worth-the-while
enjoyment of `good sex' as sumptuous meal in their marriages. No doubt, an illicit
affair or pre-marital sex with various partners in the name of relationship is the
causative factor.
Upholding the chaste disposition of accounted-in-the-bible Shulnamite woman is what
an ever-chaste born again sister embraces. She has taken upon herself the `build-up' of
sexual appetite during the school hours of spiritual, moral, social, academic training,
enduring the imminent inconveniencies such as pre-marital sex, unwanted
pregnancies, prostitution, illicit relationships and so on, to enjoy the meal of `good
sex' (ordained by God) in the home of marriage.
Chapter Seven
Defense
Monica, an aspiring model, was once quoted as saying; `I'd love my man toprotect my
interest amidst rumours of my excess whether true or not'. To some ladies, the ability
of their spouses to defend or protect their interests or personalities is one of the salient
qualities that they see as criterion for any relationships and marriage.
`Why are you her spouse if you can't stand for your wife in
all ramifications'?A response by Monica, when asked why she sees defense as
criterion to knowing her kind of man. In a way, women believe their husbands or
boyfriends ought to put their interests at heart and subsequently defend them, barring
all odds for a successful union.
Married women attest to the fact that the ability of their husbands to protect their
interests and personalities in public places, at various functions and other areas of
recognition has really fostered marital communication amongst themselves. They see
their husbands as the lean-on support or bedrock, enabling them ascertain their marital
stance against all odds.
What if your spouse cannot defend himself, let alone you, would you call your
relationship or marriage quits? This is where an ever-chaste stands out. She is
practically works on the biblical precept;' the lord is my strength, my refuge and my
fortress my strong tower, He is my shepherd…, He is my advocate, He is the rock
where I stand, He is my protector' and so on. Rather than anticipating this quality
head-on from her spouse, she builds the biblical efficacy for the continued thriving of
the union she's in (with her spouse) mutually.
My
Kind
Of
Woman
My
Kind
Of
Woman
Chapter One
Appearance
By nature, men are generally moved by what they see. The masculine gender is wired
by sight. Hence, the reason for the criterion, appearance. Men are attracted to their
opposite sex by virtue of appearance.
Therefore, do not be surprised when you hear most of them say: `she must be
beautiful', `she must have the right curves; perfect shape and in all, have all-complete
physique', `she must be vey attractive' and so on. This is the first thing that draws the
attention of a man to a woman and becomes a threshold or foundation for further
build-ups of an eventual union.
Knowing this natural fact, a number of `wise' women have taken to modern-day
fashion trends to portray who they are a shadow of-modest or provocative outlook.
Obviously, their appearance becomes a field; pulling or gravitating the desired men to
them to their intents.
Afterall, a good-looking woman is the dream of a typical carnal or sense-ruled man.
John, 45, has this to say; `I got attracted to my girlfriend, now my wife because of her
physique. It did go a long way in strengthening our relationship. In no time, we
clicked! And now, we're happily married with two lovely children'.
On the contrary, good appearance has been used as bait by women to engage men
whose criterion is reflected on the threshold in a union of obnoxious abyss. A lot of
men are really oblivious of the fact that looks are deceiving and not all women who
are good looking portray the good-looking image. Stanley, 32, who married Lucinda,
31, made an interesting comment of the outcome: `If you'd told me Lucinda will be a
thorn in my flesh someday, be rest assured I'd keep you at armslenght. At prima
fascie, I felt deeply in love with her because of her stunning looks. Then, after much
deliberation, she responded to my proposal of marriage. We went on a date and all
other things kept going well as planned. One thing led to the other and we soon got
married. It was after a year we got married I realized the `were-wolf' behaviour of my
wife as not only a nag but also an unrepentant parasite. Her stunning looks were
blindfolding and I happen to be the unfortunate victim. Now, I'm at the point of no
going back in my marriage'.
An ever-chaste born again brother works with the biblical consciousness; `man looks
at the appearance but God looks at the heart'. Rather than pay strict attentions
to appearance, he's simply focused at intents, a reflection of the mind's quality.
Knowing the mind of God, he reciprocates the rendition 'as he is, so we are on earth'
in his dealings with his spouse.
Chapter Two
Sexuality
`I will prefer a woman who is sexually active, has great sex appeal and very
responsive to every sexual advance I make', remarked Jude. `A lady who has what it
takes to satisfy a man in bed is the woman of my dream', a statement made by Mike.
These are friends of mine whose responses as regards their kind of women were
documented by me.
Just as women are fascinated by this issue, so are the men. Sexually, to most senseruled men, sexuality is as important as any other mentioned quality. In fact, men are
generally take priority in the sexual prowess of their spouses long before marriage or
any leading-to-marriage relationships by engaging them in pre-marital sex.
Some men firmly assert that procreation is very important. Therefore, the need to
ascertain the sexuality of their spouses (via pre-marital sex) becomes paramount.
Agreed, the need to continue their family line and enjoy mutual sexuality with their
spouses. However, should the issue of pre-marital sex be looked at as criterion for
their kind of women?
Enjoying indiscriminate sexual intercourse is a result of men's seemingly unending
quest of selecting their kind of women. Interestingly, they fail to take cognizance of
the fact that sexual intercourse is akin to a ritual exercise, sacred and therefore, must
be carried out at various times as a routine (by mutual agreement by both partiesintending couples; man and woman) after a stipulated or discerned time has been
reached.
What becomes of those who, using sexuality as criterion for their kind of women,
engage in sexual intercourse before the stipulated time?
First and foremost, the terms `stipulated time', `routine' would have to be explained. In
this context, `stipulated time' is the discerned period where the mutual consent of both
parties (that is, that of the man and woman) is granted for a typical sexual intercourse,
sacred in its true nature, to begin. Routine refers to the subsequent times (successive)
sexual intercourse proceeds after stipulated time. The stipulated time is marriage and
other sexual intercourses as agreed by the man and woman should proceed after
marriage.
As a detonator trainee, you were instructed to test the explosive power of the
dynamite at X time and subsequently detonate it at discerned times x1, x2, x3…You
could imagine what happens if you go against this instruction.
A similar aftermath becomes the lots of those who engage in pre-marital sex;
insecurity and doubt, lack of mutual trust, infidelity, and acquisition of diseases and so
on. Like the cancerous spread of certain body ailments, this wrong ritual timing (also
known as pre-marital sex or fornication) results to extra-marital sex or adultery with
damnable consequences.
An ever-chaste born again brother takes credence in chastity rather than promiscuity
because of one thing: pre-marital sex dwindles one's chances to vividly come across a
Mrs. Right and chastity positions one on a threshold to separate the grain of suitable,
being-seen-as-potential partners from the chaffs of unrepentant agents of promiscuity.
Chapter Three
Wealth/Money/Level of financial
Independence
Would you like to a have spouse who depends on you for her daily survival? How do
you get to cope with your wife if she is always asking for certain things that are not
necessarily beyond her purchasing power? Can you withstand a liability as a wife or
spouse?
Generally, men prefer women who are not only financially independent of them but
also carry out necessary money-involving tasks without relying on their spouses for
succour.
A considerable number of men prefer engaging in relationships with or marrying
women who are either wealthy have money or exhibit a level of financial
independence to women who neither possess these qualities. Why? They do not want
a situation where every affair of the family will totally borne on them financially.
Alas, the result of such union is not as palatable as most men think. Without an
unequivocation, there are a lot of cases of break-ups, in relationships, spousal cheating
(absconding with monetary gains), incompatibility and so on that exist amongst men
who engage in relationships with or marry women of monetary substance. Recently,
Baker, a bosom friend of mine, just divorced his wife, claiming that she's intolerable.
In his words, `there is nothing as intolerable as a wealthy woman. I regretted ever
marrying her because of her wealth'.
Building on an indefatigable true love as criterion for his kind of woman rather than
unnecessarily prioritizing wealth or monetary attainment (in itself, he's aware of the
fact that financial independence is not bad) is the watchword of an ever-chaste born
again brother.
Chapter Four
Intelligence
Nowadays, a reasonable number of men prefer engaging themselves in life-long
romance with women who possess intelligence, naturally or `synthetically'. By
`naturally', we mean `ability to articulate properly certain things and appropriate
interests for beneficial purposes' while `synthetically' means `attainment of academic
and professional certifications'.
To some men, the synthetic intellect they anticipate from their spouses is the
possession of at least a firs-degree certificate from a recognized citadel of higher
learning. To others, a GED, high school diploma or other professional certificate
would just do for the women of their taste.
What happens if your spouse whose natural intelligence is only demonstrated in the
appropriation and articulation of trivial interests but not on intricate elements that
has to do with your relationship or marriage? What would be of a situation where your
wife or girlfriend whose academic and or professional certificates lies in the corridors
of employability but cannot demonstrate quality in terms of handling properly
pertinent affairs that concern your union?
Counting on God's wisdom rather than following the programmed-to-fail approach of
fashion using intellect as criterion of one's kind of woman is the working psyche an
ever-0chaste born again brother operates.
Chapter Five
Background
Prospect-driven men, all around the world, are concerned about the quality
background as criterion of ascertaining their kind of women.
The yardsticks used in bringing to notice the background issue are stated and
explained below
1. Training (2) Family history (3) Parental relationship
1. Training: How well domesticated the family of the spouse is determines
the level or degree of intimacy with their spouses in marriages or relationships.
Attention to household chores by their spouses, they believe, is a reflection of
how domesticated their families are.
2. Family history: To an extent, men who believe in fulfilling marriages or
leading-to-marriage relationships go the length of inquiring into the family
history, pedigree or tree of their spouses. What turns them on to favourably
engage their spouses in life-long union(marriage) are a good medical/health
records, fidelity amongst family members and their families, social uprightness,
disease-free conditions (especially those that are by nature hereditary) and so
on.
3. Parental Relationship: Men who are `reserved' will likely prefer their spouses'
parents to be friends of theirs' for a proper cementing of relationships that must
have exhibited between them.
An ever-chaste born again brother, aware of the merits of these assertions, works with
the mindset that true love is regardless of family history and parental relationship but
places priority on deepening long-term benefits of training.
Chapter Six
Behavioural Disposition
`Hardly can one find a woman who is indefatigable in the midst of stormy situations
and can stand the tick and thin of life with you as your spouse. Else, she is indeed a
virtuous woman'. This is one of my self-made statements of all time.
True, there are a number of ladies out there that seem to be affectionate, caring,
humble, show appreciation, sincere and uphold other virtues of a modeled virtuous
woman. Conversely, a lot of not-funny aftermaths have been the order of the day as
men have reported conspicuous contradictions in their relationships with or marriages
to them. Simply, they claim to harbor these virtues only to show their real behaviours
after a concrete relationship has been established, `Hypocritical!', you may say.
No wonder an ever-chaste born again brother is not moved by what he sees because
not all that glitters is gold. Also, he knows that his preparedness for a life-long union
is dependent on his ability (a function of God's wisdom) to find his wife in a number
of women simply because `whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good and obtaineth
favour form God'.
Chapter Seven
Level of handling home affairs
`A man may build a house but it takes a woman to make a home'. This assertion is
unequivocally right. A lot of men take paramount this issue.
The first test to determine a woman's readiness for a life-long union or marriage is the
handling affairs form the home-front. Though it takes mutual co-operation of both
parties (man and woman), the key player is the woman.
A nation is said to be what it is as a result of the conglomeration of stable homes;
residential areas of families with the women as owners.
Can you withstand a woman who cannot keep the home tidy, peaceful, lively and
accommodating? No man would want to inhabit with a nagging woman. Else, it
would be preferred laying his head on the roof of his (own) built house rather than
staying under the same roof with such a woman!
Unfortunately, quite a number of men are not successful in having as life-long
partners competent spouses who can properly manage the home-fronts as attention
seems to be focused on meeting up with increasing world demands on a daily basis.
An ever-chaste born again brother believes that trivialities, like sands and leaves fade
and wither away, but things that possess eternal worth stand the test of time. And the
ability of a woman to properly handle the affairs of her home possesses eternal value.
In a nutshell, it is said that the happiest marriage exists when a man who has not had
sex (chaste) meets a woman of his kind. Therefore, in all entirety, the happiest and
most successfulmarriage exist when an ever-chaste born again brother (man) meets
the woman of his kind; an ever-chaste born again sister