The Social Institution
of Marriage
Do you think marriage is an
institution in decline?
How many of you could see
yourself marrying someone
someday?
About Marriage (2)
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every
country, son.
A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the
friend. The woman replied, "A billionaire."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage
is the triumph of hope over experience.
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in
Europe.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once.
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!” Second guy: "You're lucky,
mine's still alive."
A declining social institution?
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No, still a strong institution
Most adults over 25 marry
About 1/3 of first marriages
dissolve
Divorce rates peaked in 1987
and have been declining since
Remarriage rates are high
(35%)
A Changing Institution
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1800s – marriage governed by economic
factors. Love not as important.
Pre 1920s – courtships monitored by family
and community. Chaperons
 Dating became more
 Today – different types of marriage
(common law unions, same-sex marriages)
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Mainstream Canadian Marriage
Structures (patterns of functioning)
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Free-choice marriage: marriage that results
from two partners seeking and developing
their relationships on their own, without the
intervention of a third party (e.g. family).
Most often people date several people to find
a “true love” or “romantic love”
Romantic Love: choosing a partner based
on shared values/goals, compatible
personalities and physical attraction.
What is Romantic Love?
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Contrast with Platonic Love
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sexual nature intermixed with ‘liking’
Care / concern / affection
Phenylethylamine
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addictive
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effects ‘wear off’…
chocolate
then what?
Theorists:
Triangular Theory of Love (Sternberg):
love consists of three parts: 1. passion 2.
intimacy (feeling of closeness) and 3.
commitment (decision commit to
maintaining love)
John Lee: People have a psychological craving
for love, especially in our urbanized and
alienating/individualistic society. People want
relationships to end loneliness and support who
they are. Says opposites don’t attract because…
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Criticisms of Free-choice marriage
based on romantic love
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Love can blind you to your future partner’s
faults
Relationships may dissolve when passion
declines
Some argue that family and friends should
have input in selecting a partner because
their viewpoint is more neutral (objective)
Questions:
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What are the pros and cons of marriage
in Canada?
Is romantic love a sound basis for developing a life
long relationship?
How are people socialized to want romantic love?
Do we really need lifelong marriages?
Do you think some Canadians marry for reasons
other than love? E.g. Do some people see
themselves as likeable or valuable only if another
person makes a lifelong commitment to them?
Argumentative Piece
Write a short piece based on yesterday’s discussion.
Question: Prisons are effective in rehabilitating criminals.
Develop a Thesis- Answer the above question with yes or
no.
Using the textbook and your notes to develop three
separate points. Then create a paragraph for each point.
You do not need an introduction or conclusion.
In total you should have three paragraphs.
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Due: Monday