Chapter 04 - Using an Appropriate Style
Chapter 4: Using an Appropriate Style
The main goals here are to (1) use words that your reader can readily understand, (2) use an
economical, lively style, and (3) avoid any wording that hints of exclusion or discrimination.
Adapting Your Style to Readers
The key to good writing choices is considering your reader.
“Adaptation” of one’s writing to the readers goes all the way down to the word level. Good judgment
on the word level is key to communication success. One ill-chosen word can alienate readers,
thwarting one’s purpose—while an especially well-chosen one can strengthen the cooperation
between writer and reader
Begin the writing task by visualizing the reader or readers (get a mental picture). Consider such things
as how they think and what they know, including educational level, vocabulary, knowledge and
values. Then write to this person.
How does one gather information about one’s readers in order to adapt the wording as skillfully as
possible?
Consider: An advertising agency is hired to create a campaign to sell new, high-end gas station coffee
drinks to two audiences: middle-aged professionals and college students. How might the campaign
differ based on audience values, knowledge, etc.? Commercials? Music? Graphics? Language?
Use Familiar, Short Words
These slides emphasize that, all other things being equal, short, common words are preferable to
complex, long words.
But, when might a longer word be preferable? For example, “bad” is a substitute for “harmful.” But
“bad” is a harsh, blunt word that would rarely be the best choice.
Use Slang and Popular Clichés with Caution
Use slang and popular clichés with caution; such phrases are especially troublesome for non-native
English speakers.
Use Technical Language with Caution
Use technical words with caution. What are some examples from your own fields of study?
Every field has its technical language (accounting, information systems, medicine, and finance). This
language is good for communicating within the field, for those words can quickly cover concepts and
specialized information. But it is likely to be meaningless to people outside the field. So avoid
technical language when communicating with outsiders.
The real examples on this slide can illustrate the importance of this point.
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Chapter 04 - Using an Appropriate Style
Use Acronyms with Caution
Initialisms and acronyms are not likely to be understood by people outside a specialized area.
Examples: ROI, FTC, CFO, RFP
Select Words for Precise Meanings
Selecting words for precise meanings is critical to clear writing. It means choosing the word with both
the correct denotation and the desired connotation. It also means getting expressions idiomatically
correct.
You should study words so that you can use them as precisely as possible.
Words with similar meanings have slight differences in meaning. For example, consider the shades of
difference in these groups of words:
 cemetery, graveyard, memorial garden
 fight, dispute, lawsuit, disagreement
 pleased, satisfied, happy, content, gratified, impressed
 thin, slender, skinny, slight, wispy, lean, willowy, rangy, spindly, lanky, wiry
 fired, dismissed, canned, separated, discharged
Knowledge of language also permits you to use words that carry the message you want to
communicate.
For example, “fewer” means a smaller number of items and “less” means reduced value, degree, or
quantity.
“Affect” means to influence; “effect” means to bring to pass.
“Continual” means repeated but broken succession; “continuous” means unbroken succession.
You should also take care to use correct idiom (the way things are said in a language).
Much of our idiom has little logic. It is just the way we have historically used words.
For example, we say “independent of” (rather than “independent from”); we “agree to” a proposal, but
we “agree with” a person; we are “careful about” an affair, but we are “careful with” our money.
Prefer the Concrete to the Abstract
Concrete language adds specificity and vigor to writing.
Concrete words stand for specific things that the reader can see, feel, taste, or visualize. They relate to
experiences.
They are the opposite of abstract words—the words that refer to broad and vague concepts.
Examples:
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Chapter 04 - Using an Appropriate Style
Concrete: John S. Simmons, bagels and coffee, Ms. Levi, oil stains.
Abstract: human resources, nourishment, management, damage.
Concreteness also involves being specific, as in the following examples:
A significant loss
vs.
a 53% loss
The majority
vs.
62 percent
In the near future
vs.
by noon on May 1
Substantial amount
vs.
$3,751,321
Select Words for Appropriate Usage
Many pairs of words are confused in English and cause problems for writers. Consider less vs.
fewer, affect vs. effect, and continual vs. continuous, to name a few.
This slide reveals inappropriate and appropriate usage of some of the most commonly
confused words pairs. The last sentence illustrates the problem of faulty idioms. You may
want to ask students if they can think of additional word pairs and faulty idioms.
Prefer Verbs in Active Voice
In most cases, one should prefer the active voice to the passive. Active voice is stronger and more
direct.
In active voice, the subject does the action: “Joan examined the equipment.”
In passive voice, the subject receives the action: “The equipment was examined by Joan.”
In what kinds of situations might the passive actually be preferable? Here are some good answers:
When the doer of the action is unimportant: “Sports shoes are manufactured in Korea.”
When one wants to avoid accusing the reader of an action: “The maintenance instructions were not
followed in this case.”
When the doer of action is unknown: “During the past year, three automobiles were stolen from this
parking lot.”
When the writer does not want to name the doer of action: “Seventeen accounts were lost in the
Portland area last month.”
Avoid Overuse of Camouflaged Verbs
Avoiding overuse of camouflaged verbs adds clarity and vigor to writing.
A verb is camouflaged when the verb describing an action is changed to a noun—for example, when
one changes the verb “eliminate” to the noun “elimination,” which results in a long, passive sentence
like this:
“Elimination of the deficit was accomplished by Thornberry.”
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Chapter 04 - Using an Appropriate Style
A better sentence is one that uses the verb: “Thornberry eliminated the deficit.”
Additional examples follow on the slides.
Avoid Discriminatory Wording
We should strive to use nondiscriminatory wording—wording that treats all people equally and with
respect.
This means avoiding words that refer negatively to groups of people, such as by gender, race,
nationality, age, disability, or sexual orientation.
The more common problems are covered by the following suggestions.
Avoid sexist labels.
There are three excellent ways to avoid the generic male pronoun:
1. rewording the sentence,
2. making plural references, and
3. substituting a neutral expression.
When discussing solution #2, be sure to point out that the sentence needs to be made consistently
plural.
Incorrect: Each team member should turn in their schedule tomorrow.
Correct: Team members should turn in their schedules tomorrow.
Avoid other stereotyping words and phrases.
Construction of Clear Sentences
Use this overview slide to preview the guidelines that will help students write clear, easy-to-read
sentences.
Limiting sentence content means keeping sentences relatively short—not packing too much
information into one sentence. The examples on these slides illustrate.
Readability studies tell us that the more words and relationships there are in a sentence, the greater is
the possibility of misunderstanding.
Economizing on words also helps you manage your sentence length.
Anything you write can be expressed in many ways, some shorter than others.
The shorter ways usually are better—clearer and more interesting.
The following review of some of the causes of uneconomical expressions should be helpful.
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Chapter 04 - Using an Appropriate Style
Cluttering phrases. Phrases that can be replaced by shorter wordings can add unnecessarily to sentence
length.
Examples:
“in the event that” vs. “if”
“in spite of the fact that” vs. “although”
Surplus words. Words that add nothing to the intended meaning should be eliminated.
Examples:
“It will be noted that the records for the past years show a steady increase in special appropriations.”
“His performance was good enough to enable him to qualify for the promotion.”
Unnecessary repetition. Repeating words obviously adds to length.
But some repetition serves a purpose, as repeating for emphasis or for special effect.
Eliminate repetition that is without purpose.
Example:
“We have not received your payment covering invoices covering June and July
purchases.”
vs.
“We have not received your payment covering June and July purchases.”
Writing clearly also means managing the emphasis in your sentences. Your sentences should give
appropriate emphasis to each item presented.
Some items are more important than others—for example, conclusions in a report or the objective of a
letter. Some are less important. You should make the important items stand out.
The longer sentences give less emphasis to their contents because the items combined share emphasis.
The shorter sentences tend to emphasize content because multiple ideas aren’t competing for
attention.
Consider the varying emphasis in these three versions:
“The company lost money last year. The loss occurred in spite of record sales.” (The two items
receive equal emphasis.)
“Although the company enjoyed record sales last year, it lost money.” (One idea is subordinated; the
other gets independent-clause emphasis.)
“The company enjoyed record sales last year, although it lost money.” (Emphasis of the two thoughts
is reversed.)
Which is the best? The answer depends on what you want to communicate.
A warning: Subordinating some ideas helps reduce choppiness, but the subordinating needs to be
logical, as the slide examples show.
The optimum length depends on the reader and the nature of the contents. But the higher the level of
the reader, the longer the sentences can be. Around 16 to 18 words per sentence is a good average for
reaching the middle-level adult.
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Chapter 04 - Using an Appropriate Style
Keep in mind that we are talking about average length. A mixture can be effective—longer sentences
for subordinating information and shorter ones for emphasizing points. And too many short sentences
can create a choppy, elementary-sounding effect.
This slide reviews coordination and subordination. When a sentence contains two or more ideas,
the ideas share emphasis. How they share it depends on how the sentence is constructed. If two ideas
are presented equally, or coordinated (in two independent clauses, for example), they get about equal
emphasis. But if one idea is subordinated to the other (in one independent clause and one dependent
clause), the one gets more emphasis than the other.
The first sentence revision shows coordination. The second and third show subordination.
Good sentences also have unity; their parts combine to form one clear thought.
Violations of sentence unity have two main causes:
Unrelated ideas. Placing unrelated ideas in a sentence is illogical. The ideas in a sentence should
have a reason for being together. The reason for items being together in a sentence should be clear.
Sentences that appear to have unrelated ideas can be corrected by: making the ideas separate
sentences, subordinating one of the ideas, and adding words that show a relationship.
Example:
“Mr. Jordan is our sales manager, and he has a degree in law.” (ideas not clearly related)
“Mr. Jordan is our sales manager. He has a degree in law.” (separate sentences)
“Mr. Jordan, our sales manager, has a degree in law.” (one idea subordinated)
Excessive detail. Placing too much detail in a sentence tends to hide the central thought. Breaking up
long sentences helps to reduce this problem.
Carefully avoiding illogical constructions also helps ensure that the reader will understand one’s
meaning.
The examples on these two slides illustrate the following problems:
Mixed construction (switches from active to passive voice for no good reason).
Mixed construction (a “because” clause can’t be subject of a sentence).
Mixed construction (a “price” can’t be “expensive”).
Incomplete construction (the “as far as” phrase is incomplete).
Dangling modifier (the “Looking” phrase needs to be followed by who is doing the looking).
Faulty parallelism (items set up as equals, as in this series, need to be worded as equals).
Construction of Clear Paragraphs
Paragraphing is important to clear communication.
Paragraphing shows where topics begin and end, which helps organize the information for the reader.
Designing paragraphs requires the ability to organize and group information. It is a mental process
involving both logic and strategy.
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These five suggestions can help.
Give paragraphs unity. The paragraph should build around a single topic or idea.
The subject matter included should have a reason for being together—it should be related.
Keep the paragraphs short. Short paragraphs produce more appealing text. They help the reader to see
the organization of the material being presented.
Of course, length is determined by the information to be covered, but an average of 8 to 10 lines is a
good goal for longer papers.
A good rule to follow is to question all long paragraphs—say those over 12 lines. But sometimes a
long paragraph has unity and is logical.
Use topic sentences effectively. One good way of organizing paragraphs is to use topic sentences.
Topic sentences express the main idea of the paragraph.
Some paragraphs do not have them—for example, introductory paragraphs, transitional paragraphs,
and concluding paragraphs.
Topic sentences can be in three places:
at the beginning,
at the end, and
within the paragraph.
Leave out unnecessary detail. Consider what your reader needs to know, and include only this
information.
Make paragraphs coherent. Each sentence and each paragraph should move the reader smoothly
toward the writer’s goal.
Three good strategies for achieving coherence are the following:
Repeat key words that hark back to the preceding sentence.
Use pronouns that refer back to elements of the preceding sentence.
Use transitional expressions.
Writing for Positive Effect
Writing in conversational language has a friendly effect, as the good examples on Slide 4-36 show.
Many of us change character when we write. Instead of being our natural selves (warm and friendly),
we become unduly formal and impersonal, perhaps under the impression that stiff or big words will
impress.
In today’s ever-shifting business environment, where people often need to establish friendly relations
quickly, it is a better strategy to write naturally and sincerely, as oneself (though oneself as a
knowledgeable professional).
Two good ways to achieve a sincere, natural tone follow.
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Chapter 04 - Using an Appropriate Style
For a homework assignment or class exercise, consider asking the students to develop a WhoPrint of
their “writer’s persona.” A WhoPrint is an advertising term for the individual consumer that
advertising copy targets. For this exercise, students would find an image of their writer’s persona
online, and list the values, style, beliefs, activities, and favorite words and phrases of this person. An
alter ego of sorts, this persona can lessen the fear of writing because students have a construct in mind
when coming to the page. You may even include one of your own in this presentation to entertain
students and lighten the mood.
Accentuating the positive also helps create goodwill and pleasant relationships.
This does not mean that negative words are always inappropriate. They are strong, they command
attention, and sometimes you will need to use them.
But most of the time you will find the positive words to be more useful.
Positive words tend to put readers in a good frame of mind; they build goodwill. Negative words—
such as damage, error, mistake, problem, loss, and failure—produce the opposite effect.
Also called clichés, rubber stamps are words we use without thought every time a certain situation
occurs. That is, we use them like “rubber stamps.”
Because they are used routinely, they communicate the effect of routine treatment.
Examples:
“This will acknowledge receipt of…”
“This is to inform you…”
“In accordance with your instructions…”
Writing from the you-viewpoint is another technique for building goodwill.
You-viewpoint writing emphasizes the reader’s interests and concerns—the you and the your. It
deemphasizes the we and the our.
But it is more than just using pronouns. It is an attitude of mind. It places the readers in the center of
things—emphasizing their interests and showing concern for them.
Some claim that using the you-viewpoint is (1) insincere and (2) manipulative.
The arguments have merit, for it can be used to the point of being insincere. And it can be
manipulative.
But it does not have to be either if you use it with genuine sincerity—and if you use it only to achieve
ethical goals.
These are good words to consider: “treat your readers as intelligent people you understand and
respect.” Even when writing to someone with a low level of education or someone who has made an
angry complaint, you will almost always get the best result if you bring out the best in them.
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