University graduates have an edge over people who did not continue their education after school. To
what extent do you agree or disagree?
Tertiary education gives you the edge over those who found their job immediately after finishing the
school. Firstly, people who graduate from university have an opportunity to get a good, challenging and
well-paid job according to the specialty that they have chosen and like. Thus, if you have university
education you can enjoy more comfortable lifestyle. Secondly, we are living in XXI century – the
century of processing technology. So if you want to go with the time you should be a ‘knowledge
worker’. For example, if you know the base rules of mathematics and programming you can easily
understand how the new programs on your computer or new applications on your mobile phone have
to work or to make your own one. Finally, people who finished university can find a more prestige job.
For example, with a degree in economical sciences you get a possibility to become a politic or to
continue your education and to become a doctor of sciences. Moreover, with a higher degree you have
an opportunity to understand better the law mechanism as from year to year it becomes more difficult.
I totally agree with the statement because I believe that people who have a tertiary education could
find a better job by the reason that they have more knowledge. In addition, I want to mentions the fact
that the higher degree gives people a kick ahead to continue the own personal education throughout
their live. As a result people who graduate university and develop new branches of science are pushing
forward the progress and are creating the future.
Weak points:
 Absence of paragraphs
 Your opinion is not stated in the introduction
 The first argument is not developed
 What is your second argument? I didn’t get it. How is it connected with benefits of higher
education?
 Your third argument is again about job, just like your first one. Moreover its development is not
quite relevant.
 You introduce new ideas in your conclusion.
 Register: use of pronouns
Tertiary education gives people the edge over those who found their job immediately after finishing
the school. I agree with this statement, because university gives students a lot of benefits.
Firstly, people who graduate from university have an opportunity to get a good, challenging and wellpaid job according to the specialty that they have chosen and like. As a result people who graduate
university and develop new branches of science are pushing forward the progress and are creating the
future. Moreover, the higher degree prompts majority to continue their own personal education
throughout their live, because they adjust to learn something new every day.
Secondly, mostly all of undergraduates believe that the university period was the greatest time in their
life due to an active social life and facilities. For example, sport groups, creative or theater groups.
Thus, students have a time not only for learning subjects but also for themselves and they can spend it
in way they want.
Finally, people who finished university have good communication skills. They are attending lecturers,
listening professors and have to answer their complicated questions or to argue in favor of their own
opinion to some problems. In addition, a lot of students attend university to make friends because
pupils are studying have different interests.
I totally agree with the statement because I believe that people who have tertiary education can
find a better job and develop their knowledge throughout their life. Moreover, it helps they find a
hobby and evolve their social skills.
Weak points:
 The ideas you use in the first body paragraph are irrelevant to your topic sentence.
 The second argument is not enough supported. Say what one can lose if they don’t go to
university.
 The last idea in the third body paragraph doesn’t support your topic sentence.
 Your concluding sentence doesn’t summarize the second argument. Hobby wasn’t
mentioned in your main part.
 Repetitive language and structures