“The Southern Tier
Leadership SummitDiscovering,
Growing, Inspiring”

What style of leadership do you most
predominately display?
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Directive Leadership
Consultative Leadership
Participative Leadership
Negotiative Leadership
Delegative Leadership
Transactional Leadership
Transformational Leadership
Charismatic Leadership
Which style of leadership is best?
◦ The “Age Old” question
 Are Leaders born or made?
◦ If it was easy, everyone would be good at it
◦ Understanding the complexities of Leadership

Cognitive-Neocortex-Intelligence-IQ
◦ The “Thinking Brain”
 Technical and Analytical Skills
 Fast learning part of the brain-read and go

Cognitive-Neocortex-Intelligence-IQ
◦ The “Thinking Brain”
 Technical and Analytical Skills
 Fast learning part of the brain-read and go
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Affective-Limbic-Emotional-EQ
◦ The “Feeling Brain”
 Behaviors and habits learned early in life
 Slow learning part of the brain-practice and repetition
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Cognitive-Neocortex-Intelligence-IQ
◦ The “Thinking Brain”
 Technical and Analytical Skills
 Fast learning part of the brain-read and go
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Affective-Limbic-Emotional-EQ
◦ The “Feeling Brain”
 Behaviors and habits learned early in life
 Slow learning part of the brain-practice and repetition
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Conative-Not Widely Known or Used
◦ The “Action Brain”
 Motivation, willpower and personal drive
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Self-Awareness
Building Relationships
Managing Your Emotions
Seek Feedback
Take The Initiative
Engage A Coach
Set Goals And Make A Plan
Practice, Practice, Practice
Measure Progress
Be Honest With Yourself & Humble With Others
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A good assessment tool is designed to
increase personal awareness
Assessments are invaluable tools to enhance
the human capital within your organization
A good assessment tool does not create a
“Right” or “Wrong” answer
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Adaptive communication skills will help you
become an effective leader
Paying attention to the mode in which the
other person is currently operating in will
give you immediate insight into how they
wish to be coached, trained, counseled
and/or motivated
Leadership Assessment
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Leader-Manager Profile (LC)
Dale Carnegie Course
EQI-Emotional Quotient Inventory
The Learning Tactics Inventory
LPI-Leadership Practices Inventory
DISC Classic Assessment
Myers-Briggs Assessment
LIFO Training & Assessment
Looking for a Model with a better answer
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Something
Something
Something
Something
simple
practical
easy to use
easy to remember
The Platinum Rule
Dr. Tony Alessandra
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Is founder and President of Assessments
Business Center and a founding partner in
The Cyrano Group and Platinum Rule Group
Is author of 21 books and over 100
audio/visual programs and films
Specializing in cutting-edge technology and
proven psychology in maintaining positive
relationships
Recognized as “One of America’s most
electrifying speakers”


What is your understanding of The Golden
Rule
Great rule we have all grown up with
◦ Values, ethics, honesty, consideration

The Platinum Rule
◦ A business rule to follow

The Golden Rule
◦ Do unto others as you
would have them do unto
you
◦ Or
◦ Treat others the way you
would like to be treated

The Platinum Rule
◦ Do unto others as they
would have you do unto
them
◦ Or
◦ Treat others the way
“they” would like to be
treated

The assessment is divided into three parts
◦ First-Presents your assessment results.
◦ Second-Focuses on understanding your style
characteristics and offers strategies for increasing
your personal effectiveness.
 There is no ‘best’ style. Each style has its unique
strengths and opportunities for continued
improvement and growth. All of the behavioral
descriptions mentioned are tendencies only and may
or may not apply to you personally.
◦ Third-Focuses on how to use the Platinum Rule
concept with others and is the most important.

Productive relationships
◦ You do not have to change your personality, ideas,
beliefs, or values.
◦ You do not have to roll over and submit to others.
◦ You simply have to understand what drives people
and recognize your options in dealing with them.

So
◦ Understand your own style.
◦ Understand and be able to quickly and accurately
identify the style of others.
◦ Adapt so that you treat others the way they want to
be treated.
RELATER
THINKER
SOCIALIZER
DIRECTOR
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Openness
◦ Openness shows in the
degree of self-disclosure:
The readiness and
willingness with which a
person outwardly shows
emotions or feelings and
develops interpersonal
relationships
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Directness
◦ Directness is the way one
deals with information
and situations. The
amount of control and
forcefulness a person
attempts to exercise over
situations or other’s
thoughts and emotions
◦ Self-disclosing
◦ Shows and shares
feelings freely
◦ Makes most
decisions based on
feelings (subjective)
◦ Conversation
includes digressions;
strays from subject
◦ More relaxed and
warm
◦ Goes with the flow
◦ Opinion- and
feeling-oriented
◦ Easy to get to know
in business or
unfamiliar social
situations
◦ Flexible about how
their time is used by
others
◦ Initiates/accepts
physical contact
◦ Shares, or enjoys
listening to, personal
feelings, especially if
positive
◦ Animated facial
expressions during
speaking and
listening
◦ Shows more
enthusiasm than the
average person
◦ Friendly handshake
◦ More likely to give
nonverbal feedback
◦ Responsive to
dreams/visions/conc
epts
◦ Prefers to work with
others
◦ Keeps feelings private;
shares only on a
“need-to-know” basis
◦ Makes most decisions
based on evidence
(objective)
◦ Focuses conversation
on issues and tasks;
stays on subject
◦ More formal and
proper
◦ Goes with the agenda
◦ Fact- and taskoriented
◦ Takes time to get to
know in business or
unfamiliar social
situations
◦ Disciplined about how
their time is used by
others
◦ Prefers to work
independently
◦ Avoids/minimizes
physical contact
◦ Tells, or enjoys
listening to, goalrelated stories and
anecdotes
◦ Limited range of facial
expressions during
speaking and listening
◦ Shows less enthusiasm
than the average
person
◦ Formal handshake
◦ Less likely to give nonverbal feedback, if
given at all
◦ Responsive to
realistic/actual
experiences/facts
◦ Approaches risk,
decision, or change
slowly/cautiously
◦ Infrequent contributor
to group conversations
◦ Infrequent use of
gestures and voice
intonation to
emphasize points
◦ Often makes qualified
statements: “According
to my sources.” or “I
think so.”
◦ Emphasizes points
through explanations
of the content of the
message
◦ Gentle handshake
◦ Questions tend to be
for clarification,
support, or information
◦ Reserves expression of
opinions
◦ More patient and
cooperative
◦ Diplomatic
◦ When not in agreement
(if it’s no big deal),
most likely to go along
◦ Understated; reserved
◦ Initial eye contact is
intermittent
◦ At social gathering,
more likely to wait for
others to introduce
themselves
◦ Approaches risk,
decisions, or change
quickly/cautiously
◦ Frequent contributor to
group conversations
◦ Frequently uses
gestures and voice
intonation to
emphasize points
◦ Often makes emphatic
statements: “This is
so!” or “I’m positive!”
◦ Emphasizes points
through confident
vocal intonation and
assertive body
language
◦ Expresses opinions
readily
◦ Questions tend to be
rhetorical, to
emphasize points, or to
challenge information
◦ Less patient
◦ Confronting
◦ More likely to maintain
his/her position when
not in agreement
◦ Intense; assertive
◦ Initial eye contact is
sustained
◦ More likely to introduce
self to others at social
gathering
◦ Firm handshake
◦ Tends to bend/break
established
rules/policies
Open-People Oriented
Indirect-Slower Paced
Direct-Faster Paced
Guarded-Task Oriented
Open
RELATER
SOCIALIZER
Indirect
Direct
THINKER
DIRECTOR
Guarded
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CHARACTERISTICS
◦ 10% of the population
◦ Fast-paced and task oriented
◦ Dominant, driving personality often thought of as
“Natural Leaders”
◦ Challenge oriented and decisive propelled by an
inner need to be in charge
◦ Achievement, overcoming obstacles and
accomplishing things are inherent with this style
◦ Most often behave in a direct and guarded manner
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CHARACTERISTICS
◦ 10% of the population
◦ Fast-paced and people oriented
◦ Chatty, expressive, fun-loving optimist personality
often thought of as “The Life of the Party”
◦ Long on ideas, short on follow-through and leads
by dealing with others in an upbeat manner
◦ Fast-paced, energetic and outgoing are inherent
with this style
◦ Most often behave in a direct and open manner
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CHARACTERISTICS
◦ 50% of the population
◦ Slow-paced and people oriented
◦ Friendly, personable and well-liked personality
often thought of as “The negotiator”
◦ Low-keyed, calm and discreet, unlikely to make
sudden moves or say anything that will anger
others
◦ Steady-paced and seldom show emotional peaks or
valleys are inherent with this style
◦ Most often behave in an indirect and open manner
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CHARACTERISTICS
◦ 30% of the population
◦ Slow-paced and task oriented
◦ Cautious and thorough personality often thought
of as “Detail oriented”
◦ Serious, analytical with long-term goals
◦ Logic, efficiency and accuracy are inherent with this
style
◦ Most often behave in an indirect and guarded
manner
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Behaviors to be on the “Look-Out” for:
◦ Open-Shares personal information willingly
 People Oriented
◦ Guarded-More reserved in displaying feelings
 Task Oriented
◦ Direct-Displays control and forcefulness on others
 Fast Paced
◦ Indirect-Displays more patience
 Slow Paced
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What behavior style you are?
◦ You have probably found yourself relating to one of
the styles.....
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What style is your boss, co-worker,
subordinates, spouse, children, neighbor, etc.
As a reminder◦ There is no best style
◦ Each has its strong/weak points
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Step #1
◦ Recognize and understand your Behavior Style
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Step #2
◦ Understand and be able to quickly and accurately
identify the style of others
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Are we here?
Step #3
◦ Adapt so that you treat others the way they want to
be treated.
As mentioned earlier, the key to success in this
applied philosophy, we must focus on patterns
of external, observable behaviors using scales
of directness and openness that each style
exhibits.
Because we can see and hear these external
behaviors, it becomes much easier to
‘understand’ people.
These are powerful life-skills that will serve
you well in all your relationships: work, friends,
school, spouse, and children.
Definition:
The willingness to exercise behaviors not
necessarily characteristic of your own style, for
the benefit of the relationship.
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ADAPTABILITY STRATEGIES
◦ Relaters Need To:
 Say “No” occasionally
 Attend to completion of task without oversensitivity to
others feelings
 Take risks by stretching beyond their comfort zone
 Delegate to others
 Accept necessary changes in procedure or routine
 Verbalize their feelings and thoughts to the
appropriate people
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ADAPTABILITY STRATEGIES
◦ Socializers Need To:
 Control time and emotions
 Develop a more objective mindset
 Spend more time checking, verifying, specifying, and
organizing
 Follow through on agreements
 Concentrate on the task at hand
 Take a more logical approach
 Try to complete more of what they start
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ADAPTABILITY STRATEGIES
◦ Thinkers Need To:
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Openly show concern and appreciation of others
Occasionally try short cuts and timesavers
Adjust more readily to change and disorganization
Work on timely decision-making
Initiate new projects
Compromise with the opposition
State unpopular decisions
Use policies as guidelines, rather than laws
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ADAPTABILITY STRATEGIES
◦ Directors Need To:
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Practice “active” listening
Project a more relaxed image by pacing themselves
Develop patience, humility, sensitivity, and empathy
Use more caution
Verbalize the reasons for conclusions
Identify with a group
Be aware of existing sanctions
Verbalize compliments to others
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GENERAL STRATEGIES
◦ In relationships with Relaters, be warm & sincere
 Support their feelings by showing personal
interest
 Assume that they’ll take everything personally
 When you disagree, discuss personal feelings
 Allow them time to trust you
 Move along in an informal, slow manner
 Show that you are “actively” listening
 Provide guarantees and personal assurances
that any action will involve minimal risk
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GENERAL STRATEGIES
◦ In relationships with Thinkers, be well prepared
 Support their organized, thoughtful approach
 Demonstrate through actions rather than words
 Be systemic, exact, organized and prepared
 List advantages and disadvantages of any plan
 Provide solid, tangible, factual evidence
 Provide guarantees that actions can’t backfire
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GENERAL STRATEGIES
◦ In relationships with Directors, be competent
 Support their goals and objectives
 Keep your relationship businesslike
 If you disagree, argue facts-not personal
feelings
 Recognize their ideas-not them personally
 To influence decisions, provide alternative
actions with brief supporting analysis
 Be precise, efficient, and well organized
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GENERAL STRATEGIES
◦ In relationships with Socializers, interest in them
 Support their opinions, ideas and dreams
 Don’t hurry the discussion
 Try not to argue-you usually won’t win
 Agree on the specifics of any agreement
 Summarize in writing who, what, when, where
 Be entertaining and fast moving
 Use testimonials and incentives to positively
affect decisions
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Relater Style
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Slow at taking action and making decisions
Likes close, personal relationships
Dislikes interpersonal conflict
Supports and “actively” listens to others
Weak at goal-setting and self-direction
Has excellent ability to gain support from others
Works slowly and cohesively with others
Seeks security and the need to belong
Good counseling skills
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Thinker Style
Cautious actions and decisions
Likes organization and structure
Dislikes involvement
Asks many questions about specific details
Prefers objective , task-oriented, intellectual work
environment
◦ Wants to be right, so can be overly reliant on data
collection
◦ Works slowly and precisely alone
◦ Good problem-solving skills
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Director Style
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Decisive actions and decisions
Likes control
Dislikes inaction
Prefers maximum freedom when managing
Cool, independent, and competitive
Low tolerance for feelings, attitudes, and advice
Works quickly and impressively alone
Good administrative skills
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Socializer Style
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Spontaneous actions and decisions
Likes involvement
Dislikes being alone
Exaggerates and generalizes
Tends to get caught up in their dreams
Jumps from one activity to another
Works quickly and excitedly with others
Good persuasive skills
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Motivating
◦ Show how something will benefit their relationships
and strengthen their position with others.

Compliment

Delegating
◦ Their teamwork, the way they are regarded by other
people, their relationship skills, and their ability to
“get along” with others.
◦ Make a personal appeal to their loyalty. Give them
the task, state the deadlines that need to be met,
and explain why it’s important to do it that specific
way.
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Counseling
◦ Allow plenty of time to explore their feelings and
understand the emotional side of the situation.
They express their feelings, but indirectly. Draw
them out through questioning and listening
techniques. Create a non-threatening environment.

Correcting
◦ Reassure them that what you are seeking to correct
is the behavior only. Don’t blame or judge the
person ; keep things focused on the behavior and
its appropriateness.

Motivating
◦ Appeal to their need to be accurate and to their
logical approach to things.

Compliment
◦ Their efficiency, thought process, organization,
persistence and accuracy.
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Delegating
◦ Take time to answer all of their questions about
structure and guidance. The more they understand
the details, the more likely they will be complete
the task properly. Be sure to establish deadlines.

Counseling
◦ Describe the process that you plan to follow.
Outline how that process will produce the results
they seek. Ask questions to help them give you the
right information. Let them show you how much
they know.
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Correcting
◦ Specify the exact behavior that is indicated, and
outline how you would like to see it changed.
Establish checkpoints and times.
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Motivating
◦ Provide them with options and clearly describe the
probabilities of success in achieving goals.

Compliment
◦ Their achievements, upward mobility, and
leadership potential.

Delegating
◦ Give them the bottom line and then get out of their
way. So that they can be more efficient, give them
parameters, guidelines, and deadlines.

Counseling
◦ Stick to the facts. Draw them out by talking about
the desired results. Then discuss their concerns.
Focus on tasks more than feelings . Ask them how
they would solve the problem.

Correcting
◦ Describe what results are desired. Show them the
gap between actual and desired. Suggest clearly the
improvement that is needed, and establish a time
when they will get back to you.

Motivating
◦ Offer them incentives and testimonials. Show them
how they can look good in the eyes of others.

Compliment
◦ Their appearance, creative ideas, persuasiveness,
and charisma.

Delegating
◦ Make sure you get clear agreement. Establish
checkpoints so that there is not a long period of
time between progress reports.

Counseling
◦ Allow them plenty of opportunity to talk about
things that are bothering them. Listen for facts and
feelings. Many times they merely need to “get
something off their chest” and talking may solve
the problem.

Correcting
◦ Specify exactly what the problem happens to be and
what behavior is required to eliminate the problem.
Be sure you confirm in writing the agreed-upon
behavior changes.
Antonioli
Management
Consulting

They are:
◦ Concerned about
stability
◦ Think logically
◦ Want documentation
and facts
◦ Like personal
involvement
◦ Need to know in a
step-by-step
sequence

So you:
◦ Show how your idea
minimizes risk
◦ Shows reasoning
◦ Provide data and
◦ proof
◦ Demonstrate your
interest in them
◦ Provide an outline or
instructions as you
personally “walk”
thru them

They are:
◦ Want others to notice
their patient
perseverance
◦ Avoids risk/changes
◦ Dislikes conflict
◦ Accommodate others

So you:
◦ Compliment them for
their steady followthrough
◦ Give them personal
assurances
◦ Act non-aggressively
focus on common
interest or needed
support
◦ Allow to provide
support for others

They are:
◦ Look for calmness
and peace
◦ Enjoy teamwork
◦ Want sincere
feedback that they’re
appreciated

So you:
◦ Provide a relaxing,
friendly atmosphere
◦ Provide them with a
cooperative group
◦ Acknowledge their
easygoing manner
and helpful efforts,
when appropriate

They are:
◦ Concerned with
aggressive
approaches
◦ Think logically
◦ Seek date
◦ Need to know the
process
◦ Like to contemplate

So you:
◦ Approach them in an
indirect, nonthreatening way
◦ Show your reasoning
◦ Give it to them in
writing
◦ Provide explanations
and rationale
◦ Tell them “why” and
“how”

They are:
◦ Utilize caution
◦ Prefer to do things
themselves
◦ Want others to notice
their accuracy

So you:
◦ Allow them to think,
inquire, and check
before they make a
decision
◦ When delegating, let
them check on
others’ progress and
performance
◦ Compliment them on
their correctness

They are:
◦ Gravitate toward
quality control
◦ Avoid conflict
◦ Need to be right

So you:
◦ Let them assess and
be involved in the
process when
possible
◦ Tactfully ask for
clarification and
assistance that you
may need
◦ Allow them time to
find the best answer
within available limits

They are:
◦ Concerned with
being #1
◦ Think logically
◦ Want facts and
highlights
◦ Strive for results

So you:
◦ Show them how to
win, and new
opportunities
◦ Display reasoning
◦ Provide concise date
◦ Agree on goal and
boundaries, then
support them or get
out of their way

They are:

◦ Like personal choices

◦ Like changes
◦ Prefer to delegate


So you:
Allow them to “do
their thing” within
limits
Vary routine
Look for
opportunities to
modify their work
load focus

They are:
◦ Want others to notice
their
accomplishments
◦ Need to be in charge
◦ Tendency towards
conflict

So you:
◦ Compliment them on
what they’ve done
◦ Let them take the
lead, when
appropriate, but give
them parameters
◦ If necessary, argue
with conviction on
points of
disagreement

They are:
◦ Concerned with
approval and
appearances
◦ Seek enthusiastic
people and situations
◦ Think emotionally
◦ Want to know the
general expectations

So you:
◦ Show them that you
admire and like them
◦ Behave optimistically
and provide an
upbeat setting
◦ Support their feelings
when possible
◦ Avoid involved
details, focus on the
“big picture”

They are:
◦ Need involvement
and people contact
◦ Like changes and
innovations
◦ Want others to notice
them
◦ Often need help
getting organized

So you:
◦ Interact and
participate with them
◦ Vary the routine;
avoid requiring longterm repetition by
them
◦ Compliment them
personally and often
◦ Do it together

They are:
◦ Dislike conflict
◦ Look for action and
situation
◦ Surround themselves
with optimism
◦ Want feedback that
they “look good”

So you:
◦ Act non-aggressively
and avoid arguing
directly on a personal
basis
◦ Keep up a fast lively
pace
◦ Support their ideas
and don’t poke holes
in their dreams
◦ Mention their
accomplishments


Position Power-Granted and Given
◦ A certain amount of power comes from being
placed/elected into a position of authority.
◦ Employees/Volunteers become “compliant” to
leaders who have position power.
Personal Power-Earned and Developed
◦ Displaying your skill in dealing with people.
◦ Employees/Volunteers become “cooperative”
to leaders who display personal power.
◦ Practice “The Platinum Rule”



The best leader is not someone with a
particular behavior style
The best leader realizes what a job or task
requires-then does it
That requires a person who works well with
all of the personality styles in all sorts of
situations

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
Ratchet down a notch or two….
Keep in mind that others have feelings and
that your hard-charging, know-it-all style
can make your subordinates feel inadequate
and often resentful
Encourage growth in others by praising them
and give them some authority
Try not to be quite so bossy
Ask others’ opinions and even plan some
collaborative actions



If you fail to follow-up, procrastinate on
tough decisions, or make pledges you don’t
keep, your employees will loose faith.
Come to grips with the fact that conflicts are
going to occur. Try to deal with them up
front, not sweep them under the rug.
Organize your time better and keep your
socializing in balance with your tasks



Learn to stretch a little, take on more, or
different, duties and try to accomplish them
more quickly.
You may want to be more assertive as well as
more open about your thoughts and feelings.
Being sensitive is your strength, but you must
seek a middle ground between that and being
knocked off balance by the first negative
comment or action that comes your way.

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
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Your employees are inspired by your quest
for excellence, but often the feel frustrated
because they can never quite seem to please
you.
Lessen and soften your criticism, spoken or
unspoken.
Ease up on your need to control
Walk around and spend more time with your
employees.




Analyze the objective before you recruit a
group and then create a team that best
matches the desired results
Assign projects to those able to do them well
Sustain a cooperative climate in which each
person can gain genuine respect
Customize work groups to get the best
results in the most efficient, satisfying
manner

How the Four Styles act in groups
◦ They each bring a different perspective to a
group. And different ways of doing things
too.
◦ Each communicates, influences, involves
others and make decisions in different
manners.

Communicating
◦ Director-Tend to communicate with short, taskoriented comments. Concerned with having a clear
agenda and setting the tone, keeping the
discussion on track and on time.
◦ Socializer-Communicate more frequently and more
evenly throughout a meeting. Their comments may
include jokes and cover a range of topics so wide
that it may appear they are hopping all over the
place .
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Communicating
◦ Relater-Seem generally interested in discussions
throughout the whole meeting and may ask many
questions. Naturally act as synthesizers, gobetweens, or translators.
◦ Thinker-Usually just quietly observe until they
grasp an issue fully and figure out in some detail
what they want to say and if they’ll feel comfortable
saying it.
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Using Influence
◦ Directors- Like to influence others by structuring
agendas, tasks, and assignments and, if relevant,
using their formal position as leverage.
◦ Socializers-Use flattery or compliments to win over
the group. Often use humor to defuse tension or
conflict. Try to avoid a hard line that will lose them
acceptance or recognition by the group.
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Using Influence
◦ Relaters-Often take on the role of keeping the
process moving along. They’ll elaborate on what
others say and encourage everyone to speak. Exert
influence by keeping things mellow and moving.
◦ Thinkers-Use the tools of logic and information.
They like to furnish information that, directly or
indirectly, suggests their expertise and experience.
They’re the most likely to focus on the “rightness”
or logic of a solution, rather than spending a lot of
time debating who’s personally helped or hindered
by it.
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Involving Others
◦ Directors- Groups assembled by Directors are
smaller and have shorter meetings. They want
groups to make some key decisions on key issues,
and then delegate the rest of the work to
individuals or sub-committees.
◦ Socializers-Are more inclined to favor a group for
the group’s sake. They like others to be involved in
the give-and-take. Not everyone who is put on a
committee by a Socializer will have a logical role
but, in the mind of the Socializer, the person adds
value.
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Involving Others
◦ Relaters-Are innately attracted to groups. However,
instead of using meetings for presentation of
reports, they prefer to work toward consensus as
they collect information from many sources.
◦ Thinkers-Involve others in groups to get
information from a wide variety of sources.
However, The Thinkers are just less comfortable
operating in groups. They prefer to have much of
the work done behind the scenes by individuals.
They also like to be the only one who knows how all
the parts of the group’s task puzzle fit together.
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Decision Making
◦ Directors- Meetings run by Directors, decisions are
more likely to be made unilaterally by the Director
or they will call for a vote. Voting is preferred by
Directors since it is clean, quick, and decisive. It
keeps debate to a minimum. Closure is clearly
attained. Next topic.
◦ Socializers-Being more people oriented try to work
out compromises that reduce resentment and
maybe even fudge over differences. They like to
downplay group decisions. Not big on voting since
it creates winners and losers.
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Decision Making
◦ Relaters-Also prefer decision by consensus and
prefer to see a majority of the group “on the bus”
so actions tend to be worked and reworked until
almost all are in agreement.
◦ Thinkers-Crave “rational” decisions. Optimally, the
decision won’t be made as much as it will be
dictated by the facts and logic of the situation. They
like to list the pros and cons of issues-sometimes
even weighing the options numerically-to reach the
“correct” decision. The process, they believe, will
make obvious the best course of action.
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Contrary to what passes for age-old wisdom,
customers don’t buy because they’re made to
understand the product or service. They buy
when they feel they are understood. They buy
when they get what they expect-and more.
But more what?
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The savvy salesperson knows the Director
customer wants more control, the Socializer
customer cries out for more recognition and
excitement, the Relater customer wants more
support, and the Thinker customer wants
more logic.
The most successful salespeople customize
their approach and follow-through for each
type

A Cooperative Triumph
◦ The modern, collaborative salesperson helps the
customer solve a problem, fill a need, or reach a
goal.

A Matching Process
◦ Match the right product or service to the customer’s
needs and the selling style must also match the
customer’s buying style

Adjusting Pace and Priority
◦ Recognize and properly adjust your selling style
that of the buyer
◦ Listen more than you speak

Working Toward a Win-Win
◦ Treating customers the way they want to be treated,
selling to them in the way they want to buy, is a
strategy that can change your life.

Exceeding expectations
◦ Dealing with Directors
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A fast-pace
Evidence they have control of the situation
A belief that time is being saved
Show tangible signs of progress
◦ Dealing with Socializers
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Personal attention
Affirmation of their position
Lots of verbal give-and-take
Assurance that effort is being saved

Exceeding expectations
◦ Dealing with Relaters
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Make them feel they’re personally “okay”
Promise that the crisis will soon ebb
Guarantee the process will be relaxed and pleasant
Show your commitment to working with them
◦ Dealing with Thinkers
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Suggest that they’re right
Explain the process and details
Show appreciation for their accuracy
Help them “save face”
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Emotional Intelligence may be defined as the
awareness of feelings; ability to define them;
recognition of their causes; and the
controlling of these emotions to elicit optimal
effectiveness
Emotional Intelligence is much more powerful
than IQ in determining who emerges as a
leader
Emotional Intelligence can be learned and
improved
Emotional Intelligence Assessment
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The results of your Emotional Intelligence
assessment are personal, sensitive, private
and confidential.
Your personal results will not be shared in
this development session although we will
discuss the testes areas of the assessment
and any questions you may have.

The Emotional Competence Framework
◦ Personal competencies determine how we manage
ourselves
 Self-awareness-Knowing one’s internal states,
preferences, resources, and intuitions
 Emotional awareness
 Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects
 Accurate self-assessment
 Knowing one’s strengths and limits
 Self-confidence
 A strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities
 Self-regulation-Managing one’s internal states,
impulses, and resources
 Self-control
 Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check\
 Trustworthiness
 Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
 Conscientiousness
 Taking responsibility for personal performance
 Adaptability
 Flexibility in handling change
 Innovation
 Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches, and new
information
 Motivation-Emotional tendencies that guide or
facilitate reaching goals
 Achievement drive
 Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence
 Commitment
 Aligning with the goals of the group or organization
 Initiative
 Readiness to act on opportunities
 Optimism
 Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and
setbacks
◦ Social Competencies determine how we handle
relationships
 Empathy-Awareness of others’ feelings, needs, and
concerns
 Understanding others
 Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an
active interest in their concerns
 Developing others
 Sensing others’ development needs and bolstering their
abilities
 Service orientation
 Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs
 Leveraging diversity
 Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people
 Political awareness
 Reading a group’s emotional currents and power
relationships
 Social Skills
 Adeptness at introducing desirable responses in others
 Influence
 Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
 Communication
 Listening openly and sending convincing messages
 Conflict management
 Negotiating and resolving disagreements
 Leadership
 Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
 Change catalyst
 Initiating or managing change
 Building bonds
 Nurturing instrumental relationships
 Collaboration and cooperation
 Working with others toward shared goals
 Team capabilities
 Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals

Assertiveness
◦ Be specific, clear, honest, and respectful

Change Management
◦ Change becomes easier to accept when you are
open to the idea of learning something new

Commitment
◦ Understand what the organization stands for allows
for people to connect with the organization

Consideration
◦ Care for others more than you care for yourself

Conflict Management
◦ Manage stress, emotions and behavior; resolve any
conflict in your life

Decision Making
◦ Manage your emotions and have a clear mind when
making decisions

Discipline
◦ Determine your level of commitment to change a
habit or behavior and take it slow

Focus
◦ Commit to the topic by gaining knowledge and a
sense of enthusiasm

Leadership
◦ The Platinum Rule-Practice, Practice, Practice!

Teamwork
◦ Understand the differences in people and accept
the fact that we are all different; we all bring
something different to the table; adapt accordingly

Allow the assessments to create a new
direction for personal growth opportunities

Personal Connection
◦ Ownership in an organization
◦ A powerful emotion of belonging that inspires
people to contribute
◦ People support what they create or have a hand in
creating


Have those responsible for implementing
develop the plan for themselves
People need to:
◦ Interact with it
◦ Develop it
◦ Be committed to it

This is the power to creating more freedom in
self-organization and that leads to more
order
◦ Developed guidelines or boundaries
◦ Defined end result

SMART Goals
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Directive Leadership
Consultative Leadership
Participative Leadership
Negotiative Leadership
Delegative Leadership
Transactional Leadership
Transformational Leadership
Charismatic Leadership
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Tells the subordinates what to do and how to
do it; is very task oriented
Initiates the action about the things to do and
tells subordinates exactly what is expected of
them, specifically standards and deadlines
Exercise firm rules and ensure subordinates
follow
Employees find it difficult to work under this
type of leadership due to its restriction of
potential in regards to creativity and initiative
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Very task oriented and focuses on the end
result
Very similar to Directive style; still has the
last say in regards to the decision, but is
willing to ask subordinates for their opinion
Recognizes the benefit of considering all
views before coming to a final decision
As a result, the quality of decisions made will
often be far better than if made without
considering all points of view

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
Takes into consideration the opinions and
thoughts of the subordinates and all team
members before making a decision
Especially useful when diverse talents of team
members can offer insight not known or
shared by all members
The responsibility of the decision will be bore
by the whole team since usually the decision
is unanimously agreed upon by all team
members
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Comes to the table with their own agenda
and seeks out personal interest ahead of and
before that of the organizations
Leverage their position as leaders and entice
followers to perform tasks for incentives and
other benefits
This style is destructive because when
everyone looks out for themselves, no one
looks out for the benefit of the organization
A house divided can not stand
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An advanced form of leadership and should
not be experimented with
Requires a large amount of trust and faith on
the side of the leader to actually fully
delegate task to the followers
Can only be successful once the followers are
prepared to be totally independent
Empowering your followers means giving
them the competencies to complete any task
successfully from start to finish
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Generally found in middle management
Generally more directive style by telling their
subordinates what exactly is to be done and
task-oriented
Practice ‘management-by-exception’ where
they set work objectives and standards, but
wait for problems before reacting to them
Reward followers according to performance
Not typically the leadership style found in
volunteer organizations
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Also known as a ‘Visionary’ leaders and found
at the top of successful organizations
Known to make positive changes to the
environment
Seek to meet the needs of others before their
own
An attitude that there is always room for
improvement
Shares a vision from the heart with others
Impeccable character standards in terms of
integrity and responsibility
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Induce more belief on team and stakeholders
than otherwise
A trusting individual whom people feel
comfortable around when uncertainty exists
Move the hearts of men by spoken or written
words
They have attractive and likeable personality
and have big, exciting visions
Tend to speak and visualize of how great the
future could be to their team