Week 4
Feb. 9

Introductions
◦ Establishing a research territory
◦ Creating a niche

Academic Vocabulary III
◦ Editing for academic style

Reasons why articles are rejected:
◦ The research does not make a sufficiently large
contribution to the “body of knowledge” (i.e., to the
literature)
◦ The conceptual framework (i.e., the literature review
is not well developed, lacks precise definitions or
core constructs, lacks compelling theoretical
motivation for stated hypotheses.
◦ The methodology used in the study is seriously
flawed (e.g., the sample is too small or the
reliability and validity of measure are questionable)
◦ The author’s writing style is disorganized or the
article is not structured properly.
(Kotzé, 2007, p 1-2)

1.
2.
3.

Create-A-Research-Space (CARS) (Swales,
1990)
Establish a research territory
Establish a niche
Occupy the niche
TASK TWO
◦ Look at the sample introduction and the following
questions with a partner
P331-333 HO

Other introductions (such as in engineering)
focus on problems, issues, uncertainties in
the real world (P335).
◦ Which sentences establish the research territory?
(Move 1a)
 (sentences 1-3)
◦ Which sentences establish the niche? (Move 2)
 (sentences 4-8)
 Implications are part of the niche
 See the original article to see how further implications
were outlined (PDF: Sections 1.1, 1.2, 1.3)

Look at the introduction in one of the journal
articles your brought
◦ Identify any of the CARS moves
◦ Was any move skipped, in a different order, or
approached in a different way for your field?

Look at the introduction in your second
journal
◦ Identify any of the CARS moves
◦ How were the moves similar or different from the
first article?

Discuss your findings with a partner

Establishing a niche
◦ How is this related to past literature?

And so we’ll continue this next week when we
talk the lit review.

Practical elements that can accomplish this (pdf, p. 819 for examples):
1. First state the broad theme or topic of the study
2. Explain the academic and practical importance of this
article/study.
3. Summarize the available literature and cite important
previous studies that are relevant or that were replicated.
4. Indicate the more important gaps, inconsistencies, and/or
controversies in the literature that this study will address.
5. Give a clear indication of the core research
question/problem, specific research objectives, the
context of the study being conducted, the units of
analysis.
6. Provide an outline of the structure of the rest of the
article.
(Kotze, 2007, p 7)

Possible but not recommended near
beginning of intros:
◦
◦
◦
◦

The purpose of this paper is to …
This paper describes and analyzes …
My aim in this paper is to …
In this case report, we discuss …
Why not start this way?
◦ Goal of competing for readership; you may not have
interested them yet

Where is such a statement more likely?
◦ Typically at the end of a research introduction
(Swales & Feak, 2012, p 327)

Small phrases tend to reoccur (with variants)
when claiming centrality of an issue:
(Swales & Feak, 2012, p 339)

Let’s try another phrase from your writing in
Google to see how common it is

Editing for academic style, when we return

Tendency to use single verbs versus phrasal
verbs:
◦ We came up with a model that…
developed a model that….
◦ We _________
P18-19 HO


Use rich and developed noun phrases
In the final boxes, what are advantages both
ways?
language
the language of scientific communication
English as the international language of scientific communication
the emergence of English as the international language of
scientific communication
The emergence of English as the
international language of
scientific communication has
been widely documented.
English has emerged as the
international language of
scientific communication. This
phenomenon has been widely
documented.
(Swales & Feak, 2012, p 339)

Use active voice versus passive where
possible
◦ Alcoholism among women has been extensively
studied.
 Who was interested and studied?
◦ Since 19__, researchers (e.g., __, __) have studied
alcoholism among women extensively.
 When might you choose to use the former or the latter
◦ To check yourself, search your document for forms
of to be

Use strong verbs to revitalize the sound of
your writing:
◦ The league gave Roger Clemens, the New York
Yankees pitcher, a $10,000 fine for arguing for an
umpire.
◦ The league slapped Roger Clemens, the New York
Yankees pitcher, with a $10,000 fine for arguing for
an umpire.
◦ How is the feeling and “voice” different between
these?

Consider the list of Active Verbs…what are
weaker verbs that you tend to use instead?
Active Verbs HO
(Ballenger, 2007, p 235)

Use academic vocabulary, but avoid clutter.
How could you rewrite to keep the meaning
but cut unnecessary words?
◦ The implementation of the revised alcohol policy in
the university community is regrettable at the
present time due to the fact that the administration
has not facilitated sufficient student input, in spite
of the fact that there has been attempts by the
people affected by this policy to make their
objections known in many instances. (55 words)
(Ballenger, 2007, p 237)

Revised to avoid the clutter…
◦ The implementation of the revised alcohol policy in
the university community is currently regrettable
because the administration has not facilitated
sufficient student input, although people affected
by this policy have frequently tried to make their
objections known. (37 words)
◦ In spite of many students objecting to the
implementation of the revised alcohol policy in the
university community, the administration hasn’t
facilitated their input sufficiently. (25 words)
(Ballenger, 2007, p 237)

Some academic phrases have become old and
boring,
◦ think of soda sitting in the fridge that no longer
fizzes
◦ or milk that’s been in there too long, even though
you don’t smell it yet
◦ or think of a something a professor has said…over
and over and…
 …and over
◦ or think of something you say over and over, such
when you TA and want the class’s attention…
Active Verbs HO
P22-25 HO
(Ballenger, 2007, p 237)
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Check for phrasal verbs and can be replaced
with a single verb
Check for noun phrases that can be
expanded
Check for overuse of passive tense that can
be replaced with active tense
Check for weak verbs, like is, do, have, gave
Check for clutter (too many words)
Check for tired phrases that can be replaced
with fresher alternatives
Now take a look at your writing. Can you
find one or two of these that seem to be
a tendency?



Should you avoid contractions?
Should you avoid “I”?
Consider the purpose, audience and intended
impression (Plagiarism, Jose)
◦ What is the purpose and audience?
◦ What does this article accomplish using
contractions? and “I”?




Do the mechanics of the paper noticeably impede
comprehension at any point?
Is the paper written in a clear and coherent manner?
Does sentence or discourse structure noticeably
impede comprehension in any way?
Does the paper incorporate any unconventional
register(s) and does this impact its effectiveness?
Is the paper itself textually cohesive? That is, is the
paper written in a clear and coherent manner with
logical transitions among sentences and paragraphs?


Grammar & wording
Literature review
◦ Goes too quickly to the study issue without
situating it in the related research
◦ Insufficient review of the literature, causing the
reviewer to note oversights & misunderstandings
◦ Personal definitions rather than giving attribution

Analysis & design
◦ Claims about results were problematic for the
research design
◦ Sample size too small for the complexity and claims
◦ Causes and effects in the design not well addressed

Bring two articles from a journal or database
in your discipline, similar to what you are
writing (hard copy or on your computer)

Keep the same partner as last week
Use the same workshopping instructions

This week’s global issue to consider:

◦ Introductions: Creating a territory and a niche

This week’s local issue to consider:
◦ Editing for Academic Style

Two have signed up to meet me today.
(From Liu & Hansen, 2002, p 138)