Marriage and Family
…God’s Way
by Charlie Brackett
1
Lesson 1: The Marriage Relationship
Godly marriage is rare….
 Divorce
rate increased since 70’s
 Annual
U.S. rate is almost half the number of
marriages
 Second marriages even more likely to fail
 Some
marriage counsellors say we
can’t know how marriage began
 Best marriage counsel is in the Bible
2
1.
Upon what divine relationship did God
institute the home?
“Scriptural” marriage between
one man and one woman
Genesis 2:21-24
 “Be fruitful and multiply”
Genesis 1:28
 Family begun Genesis 4:1, 2

3
2.
Who are parties to every marriage
contract? Gen 1:27; 2:18, 21-24
God is Designer and Creator - Gen 2:20-23
 He is marriage's authority and instructor

Matthew 19:3-9; Mark 10:2-12
G
God is Partner with man and
woman to every legitimate
marriage contract
 Therefore, God must
Marriage
agree to join or dissolve
contract

H
W
4
3.
List the scriptural qualifications for two
people to enter into a God- approved
marriage. Give scriptures.
Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:4-6
 One man…
 And one woman,
 Who have left parents…
 And who were not previously joined
but not separated by God
5
4. Must there be a proper purpose or pledge
to constitute a valid marriage contract?

Without a verbal commitment regarding
the marital union, living together in a
sexual relationship would be nothing
more than fornication.
6
5.
Study Genesis 1 and 2. What purposes
for marriage can be found there? List
them in order of their importance.
Form “one flesh” complementary
relationship Gen 2:24
 Create a home Gen 2:24
 Produce offspring Gen 1:28; 4:1, 2
 Foster other homes Gen 5
 Join with others to create societies Gen
11:1-4

7
6. What other purposes for or functions of
marriage and the home can be found in –
1 Timothy 5:14?
 Provide a place and resources to
manage; give no opportunity for
reproach
 1 Timothy 5:16?
 Take care of family members
 1 Timothy 3:5?
 Maintain order; train for leadership in
the Lord’s church

8
6. What other purposes for or functions of
marriage and the home can be found in –

Luke 2:52?
 To
foster increase in wisdom, stature
and favor with God

Ephesians 6:4?
 Bring
up children in the training and
admonition of the Lord
9
7. What is God's law of marriage in the latter
part of Genesis 2?

Leave parents, be joined together (cleave)
and become one flesh Genesis 2:24
10
8. State as many applications of this law as
you can.
 No running back to parents (or anyone
else) when things go bad
 No longing for mom’s cooking or dad’s
ability to earn
 Work at staying together (cleaving)
through thick and thin
 “Leave” your own children enough “cleave”
 Build “oneness” in all of its aspects
 Parents, leave them alone!
11
9.
What is meant by "and they shall
become one flesh?”
Sexual union (reserved for each other)
 Different, but complementary nature of
male and female

Anatomical or biological
 Emotional
 Viewpoint
 Approach to protecting and nurturing

12
10. Is this the same as the "one flesh" of
1 Corinthians 6:16? If so, does
fornication make a marriage? Explain.
The intimacy of sexual union is reserved
for marriage
 Sexual joining is so close that individuality
of the two is lost in the oneness of the
union
 Paul uses this to illustrate the desecration
done to the body of Christ when a
member is joined to a harlot – a sin so
dramatically opposed to God

13
11. Of all relationships designed by God, in
which is the greatest happiness
possible? Give reasons for your
answer.
1. Saving relationship with God in Christ.
2. Marriage relationship
3. Parents and children
4. Brothers and sisters in Christ
5. Brothers and sisters in earthly family
14
11. Of all relationships designed by God, in
which is the greatest happiness
possible? Give reasons for your answer.
Are there exceptions that should be
noted?
Marriage gone bad
 Family discord; disrespectful children
 Strife and discord in the church
 Estrangement between siblings

15
Lesson 2: Building a Peaceful Home
Marriage is a lifelong
commitment
God wants us to partner like eagles…
 God is like an eagle to us - Exodus 19:4
 We are to be like eagles - Isaiah 40:31
Those who wait on the Lord shall be
strong; will mount up like eagles

16
1. In any system or organization, the various
parts cannot exist and function together
harmoniously unless each part occupies
assigned place
place and
and functions
functions in
in its
its
its assigned
assigned way. True
True False
False
assigned
17
2.
Identify and describe something outside
the family that illustrates this principle.
Clock or watch
 Computer
 Sewing machine
 Airplane
 Automobile
 Any precision device or system

18
3.
What contribution to a peaceful family is
made by the man in Psalms 128?
Fears the Lord; walks in His ways (v. 1)
 Labors to provide his family’s needs (v. 2)
 Cares for his wife; she is fruitful (v. 3)
 Cares for his children; they thrive (v. 3)
 He is blessed and is a blessing to others
(v. 4, 1)

19
4. From the woman's standpoint, what
attributes in Proverb's 31:28-31 contribute to
peaceful, harmonious relationships?
She is trustworthy (v. 11)
 Does her husband good, not evil (v. 12)
 Willing worker going to lengths to provide
for her family (vs. 13-15)
 Business-minded without neglecting her
household (v. 16)
 Takes care of her mind and body (v. 17)

20
4. From the woman's standpoint, what
attributes in Proverb's 31:28-31 contribute to
peaceful, harmonious relationships?
Strives for excellence - until late (v. 18)
 Develops skills needed to provide for
others (vs. 19, 21, 22)
 Compassionate toward needy (v. 20)
 Industrious (v. 24)
 She is strong and honorable (v. 25)
 Wise, kind, watchful, not lazy (vs. 26, 27)

21
4. From the woman's standpoint, what
attributes in Proverb's 31:28-31 contribute to
peaceful, harmonious relationships?
She is praiseworthy to the family (v. 28)
 She excels in what she does (v. 29)
 Does not trust in beauty and charm, but
trusts in fear of the Lord (v. 30)
 Her efforts are rewarded with fruit and
praise (v. 31)

22
5.

What is the basic attitude toward God
found in each of these homes?
“Fear” of the Lord; respect and
willingness to walk in His ways
23
6. Later lessons in this course will deal with
proper roles of husband and wife, parents
and children; but, for now, what lessons
for every family member do the following
passages teach?

Ephesians 5:20, 21
 Thankfulness to God, submitting to
one another in the fear of God
24
6. Later lessons in this course will deal with
proper roles of husband and wife, parents
and children; but, for now, what lessons
for every family member do the following
passages teach?

Philippians 2:2-4
 Be of the same mind and love,
unselfish, counting the other better
than self
25
6. Later lessons in this course will deal with
proper roles of husband and wife, parents
and children; but, for now, what lessons
for every family member do the following
passages teach?

1 Peter 4:8
 Fervent love for one another, willing
to overlook faults and slights
26
6. Later lessons in this course will deal with
proper roles of husband and wife, parents
and children; but, for now, what lessons
for every family member do the following
passages teach?

Hebrews 10:24
 Conscious thought toward finding
ways to stir up love and good works
in each other
27
6. Later lessons in this course will deal with
proper roles of husband and wife, parents
and children; but, for now, what lessons
for every family member do the following
passages teach?

Colossians 3:17
 Do all by the authority of Jesus
Christ, giving thanks to the Father
28
6. Later lessons in this course will deal with
proper roles of husband and wife, parents
and children; but, for now, what lessons
for every family member do the following
passages teach?

Colossians 3:23
 Do everything as if to the Lord, with
enthusiasm
29
7.
What other passages, which state general
principles promoting happy, peaceful
family relationships, would you add to the
above list?
1
Thessalonians 5:15
 Do
not repay evil with evil; always do
what is good for yourselves and others
1
Thessalonians 5:17
 …pray
without ceasing
30
8. Which home pictured in the Bible would
you offer as an example of an unhappy
home, disrupted by discord and disunity?
Adam and Eve’s family Genesis 4:1-15
 Isaac and Rebekah’s family Genesis 27

31
9. What Biblical principle(s) that would have
promoted peace were violated?
Cain was selfish, not willing to obey God
 Philippians 2:3, 4
 Colossians 3:17
 Isaac and Rebekah promoted favoritism,
envy and dishonesty, without love
 Ephesians 4:15
 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

32
10. Identify a home in the Bible which
stands as a model of a peaceful home
today.
Proverbs 31 – most detailed record
 Home in which Jesus grew up
 Joseph feared the Lord Matt 1:18-25
 Mary submitted to God Luke 1:38
 Home environment fostered physical
and spiritual growth in the children
Luke 2:52

33
11.
What Bible principle(s) were at work
promoting peace in that home?
Fear of the Lord
 Total submission to God even in matters
that did not make sense
 Willingness to obey God even when it
flew in the face of the popular view
 A desire to learn and grow in faith and
service to God

34
12 Obstacles To Godly Marriage
Pride, Selfishness
 Low self esteem
 Deception
 Lack of trust
 Lack of
commitment
 Laziness about
the relationship
 Role confusion


Inability to resolve
conflicts

Ungodly
communication

Immaturity

Leaving God out

Other relationships
35
Marriage’s Challenges…
The Challenge of Staying
in Role
The part of any system, which is out
of its assigned place, is the
beginning of disaster for that system
36
Lesson 3: The Husband's Role
To be head of his own wife as Eph 5:23
..Christ is head of the church - LEADER
To love his own wife as
Christ loved the church - LOVER Eph 5:25
Christ gave Himself - SACRIFICER Eph 5:25
Christ is Savior of the church - SAVIOR v.23
Husband loves his body – NOURISHER 5:28
Husband loves himself – CHERISHER 5:28, 29
37
The Husband’s Role cont…
Without bitterness Colossians 3:19
To dwell with her with understanding
1 Peter 3:7
To give her honor.. 1 Peter 3:7
..As unto the weaker vessel
..As being joint-heirs of the grace of life
..That prayers not be hindered
Fulfilling duty as a husband 1 Cor 7:3-5
38
1.

Since Christ is the husband's example,
what conclusion about a husband's love
toward his wife can be drawn from
Romans 5:6 and 8?
He should be willing to sacrifice to
extreme lengths for her well-being even
if she has demonstrated that she is not
worthy.
39
2. Again, with Christ as the example, identify
some specific areas in which a husband
should exercise the headship over his
wife.
 Just as Christ is head over all things to the
church (Ephesians 1:22, 23) the husband
is head over his wife in all things.
40
3. Should a husband be willing to establish a
50/50 relationship with his wife? If so, in
what areas? Explain.
No. In terms of giving to the marriage,
they should each be willing to sacrifice
100% for the good of the family.
 He should not be willing to give his wife
any of the leadership responsibility; it
was given to him by God.

41
4.
What is bitterness?
Vine’s Dictionary of NT Words: Greek
“pikria” from the root “pik” means “to cut,
to prick,” hence, literally “pointed, sharp,
keen, pungent to the sense of taste,
smell, etc.”
 Mirriam-Webster: “…distasteful or
distressing to the mind.”
 Dictionary.com: “Difficult or distasteful to
accept, admit, or bear.”

42
a wife's behavior be such as to justify
5. Can
a man becoming bitter?

No!
43
6.




What are the consequences of
bitterness? Give scriptures.
Acts 8:23 – “poisoned by bitterness and bound
by iniquity” resulting in seeking powers beyond
God’s intentions
Romans 3:14 – associated with “a mouth full of
cursing” coming from unrighteousness
Ephesians 4:31 – leading to wrath, anger,
clamor and evil speaking
Hebrews 12:15 – a root capable of producing
trouble and defiling many
44
7. What is the most important factor you can
think of for keeping a husband's life free
of bitterness toward his wife?
Focus on the good and positive
things about her; dwell on those
things Philippians 4:8
 Actively love (agapaō) her
1 Corinthians 13:4-7

45
8.
How can a husband dwell with his wife
according to knowledge? Be specific.
Listen to her
 Be empathetic; try to put yourself in
her place

46
9. What characteristics of a husband's love
for his wife can you find in 1 Corinthians
13:4-7?
 “Suffers long” – Be patient, willing to put up
with more than should be endured
 “Is kind” – Do kind things; say kind things;
bring her gifts
 “Does not envy” – Supportive, uncompetitive
 “Does not parade itself” – Does not act with
superiority
 “Is not puffed up” – Cool your male ego
47
9. What characteristics of a husband's love
for his wife can you find in 1 Corinthians
13:4-7?
“Does not behave rudely” – Politeness
can be learned and is always in vogue
 “Does not seek its own” – Be unselfish
 “Is not provoked” – Does not take offense;
is slow to anger
 “Thinks no evil” – Always thinks positively;
does not put the worst construction on
what she says and does

48
9. What characteristics of a husband's love
for his wife can you find in 1 Corinthians
13:4-7?
“Does not rejoice in iniquity” – Mistakes
and sins are never a source of pleasure
 “Rejoices in the truth” – Finds joy in that
which is true, never in lies and deception
 “Bears all things” – Endures whatever
comes without wavering from what is right
 “Believes all things” – Maintains a “can
do” attitude

49
9. What characteristics of a husband's love
for his wife can you find in 1 Corinthians
13:4-7?
“Hopes all things” – Not given to despair,
but always looks for and expects the best
 “Endures all things” – Can be depended
upon to continue doing what is right in the
face of every challenge

50
10. When Paul said in Ephesians 5:25,
"Husbands, love your wives,..." was he
speaking of love as an action, an
emotional feeling, or both?

Action
51
10. Consider 1 John 5:2, 3. Is love in this

passage an action or a feeling?
Action
52
10.
Consider 2 John 1:5, 6. Action or a
feeling?
 Action
53
10. Was the love of God toward man in
John 3:16 action or feeling?
 Action
54
10. What is commanded in Matthew
5:44? Action or feeling?
 Action
55
11. The "love" of John 16:26, 27 comes from
the Greek Phileō, while the "love" of
John 3:16 and Romans 5:8 is translated
from Agapaō. Using a Bible dictionary,
identify and describe the distinction
between these two Greek words.
 Phileō – tender affection; it is conditional
 Agapaō – unconditional, unselfish love
that values and esteems; love that is
ready to serve to the point of sacrifice.
This love can be commanded, phileō not.
56
12.

What response would you give to a
Christian who says, "I no longer love
my wife?”
“You may not feel love (phileō), but God
has commanded you to love (agapaō)
her actively, sacrificially and
unconditionally.”
57
13.
Comment on the meaning of Proverbs
5:18-20.
Be happy with the wife of your youth
 Though she grows older, always be
satisfied with her sexually
 “Always be enraptured with her love” –
delighted, emotionally moved by her
love

58
14.
Christ loved the church to the point of
dying for her. List some ways a
husband can "give himself up" for his
wife.
Spend time with her doing things she
wants to do
 Help her with her chores
 Place her interests and enjoyment
above your own
 See that she gets the attention and
gratitude she deserves for all she does

59
15. Explain 1 Peter 3:7's instruction for
husbands to give honor to their wives.
Honor = Greek timē, primarily “a valuing”
 Grows from understanding them
 Given as to the weaker vessel, a reference
to their lesser physical strength (they are
stronger in many other aspects) or maybe
their position of submission
 Given because they are “heirs together of
the grace of life” – precious souls
 Wife properly honored should not suffer
from low self-esteem

60
16. List some special ways a husband can
give honor to his wife.
Privately
Praise her accomplishments and
appearance
 See that she gets time for herself away
from the kids and household duties
 Show her acts of kindness; bring flowers
 In short, treat her like a queen

61
16. List some special ways a husband can
give honor to his wife.
Publicly
Speak well of her to others
 Defend her to others who may unjustly
speak ill of her or seek to do her harm
 Open the car door and do other similar
kindnesses for her
 In short, treat her like a queen

62
17.

Does a husband need to understand
his wife's needs and feelings?
Yes – 1 Peter 3:7
KJV: “dwell with them according to knowledge”
 NKJ: “dwell with them with understanding”
 ASV: “dwell with your wives according to
knowledge”
 NAS: “live with your wives in an understanding
way”
 RSV: “live considerately with your wives”
 NIV: “be considerate as you live with your
wives”

63
17.
How is he to be aware of them?
Listen to her
 Be empathetic; try to put yourself in
her place

64
be to his wife a good
18. Should a husband
Yes!
listener?
Attentive?
 Yes!
 Good-looking?

☺
 Maybe…
Neat?
 Yes!
 Mature?
 Yes!

65
19. The most important thing for a husband
to be for his wife is
“A
loving
trustworthy
leader”
rock
to
lean
on”
_______________________________.
66
Lesson 4: The Husband's Analysis
 In
this lesson, each husband should
analyze himself prayerfully and honestly
 Wives,
analyze your husbands prayerfully
and objectively
 Compare
and discuss your answers
together if your marriage is strong
 Husbands,
make changes in your
behavior as needed
67
Lesson 5: The Wife's Role
To be subject to her husband as…
…As unto the Lord - Disciple Eph 5:22
…As church is to Christ - Follower
Eph 5:24
…As servant is to master - Server
1 Pet 3:1 (see also 1 Pet 2:18, 21)
…As Sarah obeyed Abraham
1
Peter 3:6
…As fitting in the Lord Col 3:18
68
The Wife’s Role…
A helper suitable for her husband
Genesis 2:18
…Created for the man – Complement
1 Corinthians 11:9
…Worker at home - Homemaker Titus 2:5
…Looking well to ways of her household
Proverbs 31:27
…Her desire is for her husband Gen 3:16
69
The Wife’s Role cont…
To bear children - Mother
Gen 1:28; 3:16; 1 Tim 2:15
…God’s special function for woman
…Taught by Paul as a practical matter
1 Tim 5:13, 14
To love her husband
Titus 2:4
…A matter of training Titus 2:4
…Fulfilling her duty as a wife 1 Cor 7:3-5
70
1.

What is a “help-meet?”
A helper that is suitable Gen 2:18
 KJV: “an help meet for him”
 NKJ: “a helper comparable to him”
 ASV: “a help meet for him”
 NAS: “a helper suitable for him”
 RSV: “a helper fit for him”
 NIV: “a helper suitable for him”
71
1.
In what ways can a wife be a
“help-meet?”
Provide what she can of what he
lacks in all aspects of life
 Be his willing friend and lover
 Encourage and build him up in all he
attempts, which is righteous

72
2.
Please list five things that older
women are to teach the younger
women. Titus 2:4,5
Love their husbands and children
 Be discrete – self-controlled, sober,
temperate
 Be chaste – clean, pure
 Be homemakers
 Be good
 Be obedient to their husbands

73
3.
Who, specifically, is to be doing this
teaching and how is it to be done
today?
Older women who are…
 Reverent in behavior
 Not slanderers
 Not given to much wine
 Teachers of good things

74
4.
After reading Proverbs 31:10-31,
please give at least six words that
identify a proper wife.
Virtuous
 Trustworthy
 Willing-worker
 Strong
 Honorable
 Wise
 Kind

75
5.
Can a wife work outside the home
and be acceptable to God? Explain.
If she can do so while staying in her
God-given role
 If she can be submissive to her
husband
 If she can fulfill the duties of a
homemaker

76
6.
To what extent should a wife be
interested in her husband's
occupation?
It depends upon his occupation and
their unique complementary nature
 Enough to be supportive and
encouraging to him
 “…let the wife see that she respects
her husband.” Ephesians 5:33

77
7. In what ways can a wife work to
create in the home an emotionally
stable and peaceful haven where
family members can be renewed and
encouraged to meet the difficulties of
the outside world?
Maintain an organized home
 Provide for routine family needs without
going into crisis mode
 Be dependable, one who can be
counted upon

78
7. In what ways can a wife work to
create in the home an emotionally
stable and peaceful haven where
family members can be renewed and
encouraged to meet the difficulties of
the outside world?
Be calm and work at having a calming
affect on each family member
 Learn to be an effective mediator
 Be positive; instill hope and enthusiasm

79
8. Using a good Bible dictionary define
the word translated "subject" or
"subjection" as found in Ephesians
5:24, Colossians 3:18, 1 Peter 3:1,5.


“Subject” is from Gr. “Hupotassō”
A military term meaning to voluntarily
arrange oneself under the authority of
another
80
9. Explain the meaning of the thought in
1 Peter 3:1, "In like manner, ye
wives, be in subjection to your own
husbands;...”
“In like manner” or “likewise” in verse 1
directs attention back to chapter 2
 Christ’s example in 2:21-25
 Arguably all the way back to the
instructions to servants in 2:18-20

81
10. Identify the specific areas in which
a wife is to be in subjection to her
husband.
Generally, in all things just as the
church is subject to Christ in all things
 Exception: “We must obey God rather
than man.” Acts 5:29
 “Wives, submit to your own husbands
as is fitting in the Lord.” Col. 3:19

82
11. Identify some problems women face
in being in subjection.
A husband that is not working at
staying in his God-given role
 A husband she finds hard to respect
 A husband who is overbearing,
slovenly, untrustworthy, unloving
(agapē) and uncommunicative
 Living with a major decision, which she
doesn’t agree with, though made by a
godly husband

83
12.
How can a husband make the role
of subjection more pleasant,
productive and desirable?
In general, work at staying in his Godgiven role
 Specifically, he can agapaō her as
Christ does the church, and
 Communicate; Include her in decisionmaking
 …work at earning her respect
 As a bonus for both, cultivate “romantic
love”

84
13. Name some advantages to being in
subjection.
Someone else bears the burden of
decision-making and decisions gone
wrong
 Good leadership is hard work; who
wants more of that?
 God wants all of us to learn submission;
wives have a unique opportunity
 Major advantage: It pleases God

85
14. Describe the “fear” commanded of
wives toward husbands in
Ephesians 5:33.
KJV: “that she reverence her husband”
 NKJ: “that she respects her husband”
 ASV: “that she fear her husband”
 NAS: “that she respect her husband”
 RSV: “that she respects her husband”
 NIV: “the wife must respect her husband”

86
14.
Describe the fear commanded of
wives toward husbands in
Ephesians 5:33.

Vine’s: Greek “phobeō” meaning –
a.
b.


“to fear, be afraid”
“to show reverential fear”
Used regarding both God and men
See 1 John 4:18
87
15. List several ways a wife's “fear”
toward her husband will be
manifested in her life.
Fulfill her God-given role
 Respect and support his decisions
 Be a cheerful homemaker
 As his “complement,” supply what
she can of that which he lacks

88
16. Should a wife be to her husband a
good listener?
Yes!
Budget-minded?
 Yes!
 A good cook?

for me…☺
 Hospitable?
 Yes!
 Should she be beautiful?
 Why not?!
 Works
89
17. Should she keep herself clean,
neat and desirable for her
husband?

Yes! Emotional love feeds and grows
on those things which attract us
through the five senses
90
18. Should a wife trust and support her
husband without question?
Probably not without question, but…
 If she practices agapē love toward
her husband, she will
 “think no evil”
 “believe all things” (positive)

91
19. The most important thing for a wife
to be for her husband is
“A
respecter; an encourager”
_______________________________.
92
Lesson 6: The Wife's Analysis
 Lesson
4 was an analysis of the husband;
now it is the wife’s turn
 In this lesson, each wife should analyze
herself prayerfully and honestly
 Husbands, analyze your wives prayerfully
and objectively
 Compare and discuss if your marriage is
strong
 Wives, make changes in behavior as
needed
93
Unique power of each role…
Two striking attributes of our Savior are:
LOVING LEADERSHIP –
Seen in the Husband’s role
SUBMISSION –
Seen in the Wife’s role
Remember: “..submitting one to another
in the fear of God.” Ephesians 5:21
94
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 7: Obstacles to a Happy Marriage
95
Why is the divorce rate so high?…
What are the obstacles that can
destroy a marriage?
Every obstacle can be overcome by
following the Bible, which…

…is the best guide to good behavior

…is the best guide to happy marriage

…eliminates all reasons for divorce
96
12 Obstacles To Godly Marriage
Pride, Selfishness
 Low self esteem
 Deception
 Lack of trust
 Lack of
commitment
 Laziness about
relationship
 Role confusion


Unresolved
conflicts

Ungodly
communication

Immaturity

Leaving God out

Other relationships
97
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 8: Difficulties in Communicating
Arguably, nothing is more essential to
good family relationships than effective,
wholesome communication
Wholesome Communication is…
The transfer of edifying meaning
between two or more individuals
according to godly principles
98
How we spend our time…
A 40 year old IBM survey concluded
that the average person spends:

70% of waking hours
communicating

30% of waking hours speaking

45% of communication time
listening
99



No wonder that, almost without exception,
marriages in trouble are plagued with poor
communication.
Many marriage counseling services rate
faulty communications as the greatest
danger to a marriage.
Effective communication does not come
easily or naturally, but must be carefully
studied and diligently practiced.
100
The problem…


Good communication is vital to healthy
relationships, but….
Many natural obstacles get in the way





Different backgrounds, education, views
Conflicting body language, tones,
expressions
Incorrect or lazy use of language
Emotions: anger, depression, etc.
Almost all marriages, even good ones,
have trouble with communication
101
1.
Spend several minutes considering
obstacles to good, verbal communication
between two people, obstacles which
you know from personal experience to
be harmful. List as many as you can in
the left-hand column. Across from each,
identify a helpful attitude or
communication skill for overcoming that
obstacle.
102
Obstacles
Helps
Ex: Lazy listening
 Speaking in anger
 Failing to listen first
 Faulty assumptions
 Angry spouse
Ask questions; take notes
Never speak in anger
Clarify before answering
Operate from facts
Defuse anger with humor
or wait until calm
 Poor timing
Choose best time for talk
 Being too serious
Loosen up a bit
 Using only “halo data” Read body talk cautiously

103
2.
Of the many books on the market,
please recommend one that would
surpass others as a guide to good,
effective communication and tell
why you chose the one you did?

The Bible
104
The solution to our communication problem is at hand…

God is the One who created our
ability to communicate

God invented language, reason,
understanding and intimacy

Isn’t it reasonable to let God tell
us how to communicate
effectively?
105
3.
The survey cited above reported that
the average person spends 30% of his
time speaking. Proverbs 17 and 18
have some thoughts on speaking.
Please study them and answer these
questions:

Proverbs 17:27, 28. List reasons
given for being a person of few
words.
106
Reasons To Say Little
 Knowledgeable
people are not wordy
 Understanding brings calm; lack of
understanding often produces wordiness
and agitation
 Too many words may reveal your
ignorance, lack of wisdom and perception
107
3.
The survey cited above reported that
the average person spends 30% of his
time speaking. Proverbs 17 and 18
have some thoughts on speaking.
Please study them and answer these
questions:

Proverbs 18:4. How do words reveal
the quality of a person's thinking?
108
Words Reveal Thinking
 Words
are linked to our thinking; we will be
judged by them. Matt. 12:34-37; Luke 6:45
 Lies originate in the heart. Isaiah 59:13
 As a man thinks in his heart, so is he
Proverbs 23:7
 It is important that we think positive and
pure thoughts. Philippians 4:8
109
Ambiguity and Truth
“’Make it clear.’ This fundamental
assumption of communication would seem
to be an attainable goal. Objectify the
audience, understand their desires –
appeal to their interests, eliminate the
extraneous, and presto, ‘effective
communication.’ Well, maybe not.”
by Milton Glaser
110
3.
The survey cited above reported that
the average person spends 30% of his
time speaking. Proverbs 17 and 18
have some thoughts on speaking.
Please study them and answer these
questions:
111
3.  Proverbs 18:6, 7.
List
consequences of a foolish mouth.
Consequences of Foolish
Words
 Foolish
words invite contention
 They can even invite physical blows
 A foolish mouth can result in destroyed,
physical resources, relationships and lives
 Worst of all, a foolish mouth can cost a
person his or her soul
112
3.  Proverbs 18:4.
How do words reveal
the quality of a person's thinking?
Words Reveal One’s Thinking
 By
our words we are judged to be foolish or
wise, petty or forgiving, bitter or content,
angry or cool-spirited, shallow or thoughtful, cautious or impetuous, ignorant or
learned, arrogant or humble, courageous or
timid.
 Words reveal convictions and intentions
 Words will justify or condemn Matt 12:33-37
113
3.  Proverbs 18:20, 21. Explain the power of
the tongue expressed in these verses.
The Power of the Tongue
 Many
make their living from their words:
teachers, preachers, salespersons,
politicians, statesmen, etc.
 Death and life are in the tongue’s power
 Words have a dramatic affect on the quality,
i.e., joy and sorrow of life
 “For I’m not ashamed of the gospel of Christ,
for it is the power of God to salvation…”
114
3.

Proverbs 18:20, 21. What affect can
speech have upon material blessings?
The Power of the Tongue
 Many
make their living from their words.
The degree of their success or failure is
directly related to their words.
 Arguably, those whose speech is positive
and edifying will be more successful.
 Prayer is all about words of the heart, and
prayer affects the flow of God’s blessings
115
Lesson 9: Better Listening
The average person is said to spend 45% of
his communication time listening, and most
of us, when we listen, are just "doin' what
comes naturally.” The Bible has some
interesting, profitable things to say about
listening. Proverbs 18 has at least five rules
for better listening.
Please study the verses given below,
answer the questions on each and formulate
a rule for good listening from the message of
each passage.
116
1.
Proverbs 18:2
What does it mean, "that his heart may
discover itself" (KJV)?
So proud he wants only to hear himself
b. If this is the way of a fool, what is the
course of wisdom?
To hear what others have to say
c. State a rule for good listening from this
verse.
Rule 1:
Stop talking and listen
a.
117
2.
Proverbs 18:13
What is the ultimate purpose for listening
given here?
To give an answer
b. State in your own words the idea, "It is a folly
and a shame unto him.”
It is vain, without purpose, maybe shameful
c. What are the lessons here for the speaker?
Speak clearly, interestingly; help the listener
d. State a rule for good listening from this text.
Rule 2:
Listen responsibly to give answer
a.
118
3.
Proverbs 18:15
For what are we to listen?
Information and answers
b. How is this to be done?
Actively, by acquisition and seeking
c. With what words would you describe
much of the listening done in family
relationships?
Lazy, aimless, careless
d. State a listening rule from this verse.
Rule 3:
Listen in order to learn
a.
119
4.
Proverbs 18:17
What is inherent in every "cause" or
"case" presented?
There is more than one side to hear
b. What are the responsibilities of the
hearer?
To get all the facts before judging a case
c. Formulate this thought into a rule for good
listening.
Rule 4:
Listen to all sides before deciding
a.
120
5.
a.
b.
Proverbs 18:8
What kind of speech is under consideration in
this verse. Before answering, read the King
James Version as well as one of the later
translations such as the NAS or NKJ.
Gossip, flattery or hurtful speech
What is the Christian to do with such words?
Support your answer with NT scripture.
Don’t listen
THE ISSUE
2 Tim 2:16; 4:3, 4;
Eph 4:29
121
5.
Proverbs 18:8
What rule for good listening would you suggest
from this verse?
Rule 5:
Don’t listen to unwholesome or untrue words
c.
122
6. These rules for good listening apply in all
areas of personal communication, but the
application does vary somewhat
depending on the level at which communication is taking place. Of these three
levels of verbal communication -- smalltalk, fact-finding and ideas or judgment -at which level would each of these rules
most apply?
1. Fact-finding
2. Ideas/judgment
3. Small-talk
123
7 Types of Communication
Eph 4:15; 29; Proverbs 17:27,28; 18; 25
 Information
/ Instruction
 Fact-finding / Decision-making
 Accusation / Disagreement
 Serious Conversation
 Kidding / Verbal Play
 Idle Conversation
 Intimate talk
124
7.


Do you engage in one type or level of
communication more than another?
Which?
Information / instruction / verbal play
What about your spouse?
Information / conversation
125
Friendship
“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible
comfort of feeling safe with a person,
having neither to weigh thoughts nor
measure words, but pouring them all right
out, just as they are, chaff and grain
together; certain that a faithful hand will
take and sift them, keep that which is
worth keeping, and then with a breath of
kindness, blow the rest away.”
Author Unknown
126
Lesson 10: Biblical Communication
Having considered rules for good listening
from Proverbs 18, this lesson turns to
Ephesians 4, another great chapter on
communication. Carefully notice verses
25-32 with the theme of communication in
mind.
 First, remember the lessons on godly
speech we found in Proverbs 17 and 18.

127
Godly speech…
Proverbs 17:27, 28 - Be a person of few
words
Proverbs 18:4 - The words of the mouth
reveal the quality of a person's thinking
Proverbs 18:6, 7 - A foolish mouth will
suffer consequences
Proverbs 18:20, 21 - The power of the
tongue is mighty. See also James 3:2-12
128
1.
Explain what is involved in putting
away falsehood and speaking truth.



Two steps: stop lying; start telling the
truth. v. 25
Does this make one a “truth-teller?”
Only if the truth is told about the
matters previously lied about
129
2.
Is the truth to be spoken even
when it hurts?
We should never be guilty of deception
 If it will build up (edify), the truth needs to
be told even if it hurts

130
2.

How does verse 15 bear on this
point?
“Speak the truth in love.” God is love.
Jesus is truth. Our speech should always
be the truth with love, i.e., couched in love.
131
3.
Who is your neighbor (verse 25)?
Primary application: those in close
relationship: family, church
 Secondarily, everyone with whom we
have contact

132
4.
Define anger that is without sin
(verse 26).
Anger is a good, God-given emotion
 The purpose is to motivate to action

133
5. Are there circumstances in which a
Christian should be angry? When? Please
support your answer with scripture.
We should be angry about sin and its
circumstances
 Nehemiah showed his anger and how to
use it. Nehemiah 5:6, 7
 Jesus also. John 2:13-17
 Anger driven action should be controlled
and godly, not an out-of-control tirade

134
6.
In your own words, express the
thought of verse 27.
Anger, if nurtured, gives the devil a
foothold into our lives.
 The admonition is to not let the sun go
down on our wrath thus giving Satan a
chance to take over.

135
7. In what way does taking or working to
be able to give have any bearing on
communication in a family?
There is often a “giver” and a “taker” in
a marriage, which is reflected in their
communication
 Our speech can rob another of time,
energy, joy, peace, a good reputation,
even salvation

136
8.
Considering the thought of verse 29,
in two columns, please list the
characteristics of Edifying Speech
Builds up
Encourages
Imparts grace
Corrupt Speech
Lit. “rotten, worthless”
Devoid of love
Tears down
137
9.
Is it ever proper to engage in "verbal
fighting?” If so, what is a proper "fight?"
When is it inappropriate for Christians?
(See also Col. 4:6; James 3:1-12)
 There will be legitimate disagreement
about problems, issues to be resolved
 “Verbal fighting” should be directed
toward the issue
THE ISSUE
 Always with love
☺
138
10. How does the putting away and
putting on of verses 31 and 32
contribute to better communication?
All in verse 31 are detractors from good
communications, wholesome relations
 Kindness, tenderness and forgiveness
smooth the rough spots. These are at
the core of being like God.

139
11.
Based on your study of Ephesians 4:2532, please formulate five, practical
Communication Rules and write them in
your own words.
1 – Don’t lie, speak the truth
 Rule 2 – Do not harbor anger
 Rule 3 – Be a giver, not a taker
 Rule 4 – Be up-building in speech
 Rule 5 – Put away bitter anger and
malice; be kind, tender and forgiving
as God in Christ has forgiven you
 Rule
140
“Six Messages
In Every Communication”
by Dr. Norman Wright
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
What you mean to say
What you actually say
What the other person hears
What the other person thinks he hears
What the other person says about what
you said
What you think the other person said
about what you said
141
Words fitly spoken…
Proverbs 25:11

Speak only what you have a right to
speak (v. 9)

Speak honestly about yourself (v. 14)

Speak honestly about others (v. 18)

Speak convictions with due wisdom
and forethought (v. 8)
142
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 11: Financial Challenges
Which couple is having money problems?
143
1. Which of the following reasons for marital
problems are more common? Place a
number next to each ordering them from 1
(most common) to 5 (least common).
Infidelity
 Lack of commitment
 Financial problems
 Poor communication
 Change in priorities

1. Poor
communication
2. Financial problems
3. Lack of commitment
4. Change in priorities
5. Infidelity
144
2.
When and how do most individuals
receive their education about money
management?
Attitudes toward money are learned in
childhood
 Most never receive additional training
 Those who study business finance often
do not apply the techniques to home
finances

145
3. Since each partner probably learned
money management in a different time
and place, and from a different teacher
(if not by simply doing what comes
naturally), how likely is it that even in the
best marriage there will be conflicts over
money from time to time?

Conflict is inevitable. The key is for the
husband to lead in discussing their
views on money and to decide together
the way they will make decisions about
how family money will be controlled.
146
4. What do the following scriptures teach about
earning, controlling and using monetary
resources?
Proverbs 11:4, 28 –
V. 4 - Riches are not profitable in the
long run; righteousness delivers from
(spiritual) death
 V. 28 – Those who trust in riches will fail,
but the righteous will flourish (prosper)

147
4.
Luke 19:11-27 –
V. 26 is key – “to everyone who has will
be given; and from him who does not
have, even what he has will be taken
away…”
 Protect and improve what the Lord gives
you.

148
4.
1 Timothy 5:8 –
Those who are able must provide for
themselves and “their own, …especially
for those of his household.”
 This seems to include the extended family
 Note that the context is speaking of
church support of those in need (v.16)

149
4.
Proverbs 12:24, 27 –
V. 24 - Diligence is generally rewarded
with more responsibility; those who are
lazy will be ruled over by others
 V. 27 – Laziness will rob a person of even
what he has; diligence is precious in
protecting what one has and acquiring
more

150
4.
Matthew 6:19-21 –
It is far better to use our money to lay
up spiritual treasures in heaven than to
accumulate wealth here on earth where
treasures will not last.
 This is one of the best ways to develop
and maintain spiritual desire

151
4.
Matthew 6:24 –
All things regarding our money are to be
subservient to serving God.
 Such priorities should be reflected in our
attitude toward money as well as our use
of it.
 Giving to the Lord’s work and the needs
of others will then come easy.

152
4.
1 Corinthians 16:1, 2 –
On the 1st day each one is to lay
something aside for God.
 What is laid aside must be given so there
be no collections when funds are needed.
 Please note that this is commanded.

153
4.
2 Corinthians 8:10-12 –
Financial planning (as the Macedonians
did) is a good thing
 Must follow through on what is planned
 Be guided by the principle that giving is
to be according to what we have; not give
beyond our ability to give

154
4.
Proverbs 20:23 –
Deal honestly in all matters pertaining to
money or anything else of value.
 Married couples should never hide from
one another their expenditures
 The Lord is displeased with financial
dishonesty, as he is displeased with any
dishonesty. (See Psalm 15)

155
Jesus
spoke
of
stewardship
in
Luke
5.
16:10-13. Into what areas of our lives
does this responsibility of stewardship
extend?

Applies to all that God has given us.
156
6. In view of the Lord’s teaching in Matthew
6:25-34 what defense would you make for
financial planning and saving for the future
(if any)?

There are scriptural reasons to plan and
prepare for the future
Be good stewards, even increase what is
given to us
 Provide for our own
 Support the Lord’s work
 Have excess to help those who are in need


Matthew 6 is not in conflict; it is teaching
us not to trust in the things of this world
157
7.
What reasons come to mind for the
Savior saying that it is more blessed
to give than to receive (Acts 20:35)?
It is one way we lay up for ourselves
treasures in heaven Luke 18:22
 There is REAL joy in giving to alleviate
the need of another
 Christ was a sacrificial Giver; we must
learn to be as He.

158
8. In your own words, describe the
attitude of the Macedonians which the
apostle Paul commended in 2
Corinthians 8:1-5.

Their desire to give prompted them to
plead with Paul for the opportunity and to
give even beyond their ability to give.
159
9.
What practical advice on how to
manage marital money would you
give a newly wed couple?
Regardless of who earns it, pool resources
 Husband is to lead in all financial decisions
 Fairly divide responsibility for all finances:
utilities, groceries, house, car, etc.
 Set short- and long-term goals together;
stick to them unless both agree to changes.
 Be sure each has some personal spending
money. Amount depends on circumstances.

160
9.
What practical advice on how to
manage marital money would you
give a newly wed couple?
If you spend more than you earn, work out
an annual budget together, and do not
deviate from it unless you both agree.
 If you can't work out your own budget, see
a financial planner.
 Pray about financial matters.

161
Lesson 12: Including God in the Home
One of greatest benefits to happy
relationships is including God in family
activities
 Attending worship services of the local
church together is fundamental
 Family togetherness in spiritual matters must
go beyond simply worshipping together.
 The truly happy family consciously weaves
the things of God into the fabric of daily
family living.

162
1. Read Romans 12:1, 2.
What is the
impact of this passage on family life?
Be specific.
Every word, every deed would be as a
sacrifice offered up to God.
 You would truly be “set apart” from the
world, not conformed but transformed
 Attitude would not be self-righteous
 You would resist the world’s influences
 You would be feeding yourself on God’s
word daily allowing it to transform you

163
1 Timothy 4:7-10 and reflect on your
2. Read
family's daily activities in the past month.
In one column make a list of bodily
exercises engaged in by family members.
In another column list the spiritual activities
which exercised them to godliness.
Bodily Exercise
Exercise in Godliness
164
2. Bodily Exercise
Carrying luggage
Yardwork
Stretching
Walking
Helping son paint
a house
Exercise in Godliness
Worshipping
Praying
Studying Bible
Discussing Bible
topics
Encouraging
others in spiritual
work
165
3.Identify the three profitable exercises in
godliness your family could most easily add
to its daily schedule throughout the week.





Reject (put away) all things untrue. V. 7
Do some task for the Lord’s cause each
day. V. 10
Make a conscious effort to pray often in
trial and during suffering. V. 10
Seek ways to trust God as the solution to
each problem or challenge. V. 10
Sing hymns around the house.
166
4. What other similar, spiritual activities
for the family would be profitable?
Daily Bible reading and prayer together
 Weekly discussion of specific ways to
encourage others (notes, cards, calls to
encourage, etc.)
 Song practice together (can be done in the
car or at home)

167
5.
Some have found family Bible study
programs difficult to initiate and sustain.
Toward this end, what practical ideas do you
have for the family who wants to study the
Bible together at home?
Plan a specific time and place
 Get agreement of all family members
 Have a definite plan for each study period
 Establish a “penalty” for failing to meet
and study as planned

168
6. What is the most important thing you could
say to the family that does not feel a strong
desire to study together? Support it with
scripture if possible.

Getting yourself and your family to heaven
is the most important thing in life, more
than the nuances of sports or the earning
of degrees or the attainment of high
places, and the Bible is our only guide to
achieving eternal success and happiness.
169
7. Though children are among the very special
of God's creation, they must be taught how
to communicate to their Maker. What do you
want your child to learn about prayer?
Proper form in respect, address, etc.
 Proper things for which to pray
 To be specific
 To pray sincerely, believing in the result
 To be humble, willing to accept God’s will

170
8. If you were the only one who would
ever teach him or her, what would he
or she learn?

We tried to teach our children spiritual
values, but looking back causes me to
wish I had given it greater attention.
171
9. Name some methods of daily teaching
children that will create and maintain a
spiritual atmosphere in the home.

Making a practice of attaching spiritual
lessons and/or scriptural references to the
daily events in the home.
172
10.List some ways the home environment,
in general, can be made more spiritual.
Songs, hymns and spiritual songs either
sung or listened to on CSs
 Brief daily family devotion
 Frequent references to Jesus and how He
would do some task or meet some
challenge
 Prayer at the table and at other times

173
11. Who bears the responsibility for
including God in your home, i.e., where
does "the buck" stop?
You and I are responsible
 Husbands and fathers must take the lead

174
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 13: Solving Family Problems
The best defense….Godly principles:
Walk wisely, redeeming the time Eph 5:15-17
 No selfish ambition or conceit
Phil 2:3-4
 Always speak the truth in love
Eph 4:15
 Speak no corrupt word, only edify Eph 4:29

175
1. Reports from Class Members
Describe the method of solving problems
in the home that you use or would like to
use. Tell how it works. Add scriptures
where appropriate. Some questions to ask:
Should all members participate?
 Who should lead?
 Should the Bible be part of the process?
 Try to incorporate some of the things we
have discussed about husband and wife
roles and better communication.

176
1.
One practical idea…
 Have
a special place for family training,
admonition and solving problems
 Confront problems, find solutions and set
discipline – parents too?
 Agree with child on a Code of Conduct
 If possible let child set own punishment
 Teach child to decide conduct and
resolve guilt based on biblical principles
 “The place” - a place of frequent prayer
177
2.
What lessons, which will help in conflict
resolution, can be learned from
Ephesians 4:29?
An overriding goal in every conflict should
be edification of the other
 Personalities should never be confused
with issues
 Past mistakes have no place in current
problems

178
3.
During Class Discussion
During the reports and class discussion,
list here the characteristics of a problem
solving system that makes sense to you
and would be helpful to you and your
family.
179
How to resolve conflict…
Inventory attitudes and motivations
 Am
I motivated by love for the Lord?
 Am I motivated by love for my spouse?
 Do I have a positive attitude about my spouse?
Philippians
4:8; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
 Do
I have a positive attitude about resolving our
conflict? Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 4:6
 Is my conduct Spiritual? Romans 8:5-9
 Am I being Selfless? Philippians 2:3,4
 What Skills do I need to resolve this conflict?
180
How to resolve conflict…
Find
answers based on scriptural principles..
Recreation? 1 Cor 15:33; Rom 14:13; Heb 10:25
Money? 1 Tim 5:8; 6:6-10
Place to live? Heb 10:25
Must pray together!
Have
we prayed together at every step?
Do we know what to ask of the Lord?
Have we asked Him to help us understand
the problem?
181
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 14: Forgiveness
Forgiveness is at the very foundation of
our faith. We each should understand
this so well that no questions have been
provided with this lesson’s questions. A
concordance will help you support your
answers with scripture.
182
1.
Who is our example in forgiveness? Cite
some scriptures that indicate this is so.
God in Christ. Ephesians 4:32
 Christ. Colossians 3:13

183
2. What does it mean to forgive. Be specific.
Give scriptures.
It is a fourfold promise (Eph 4:32; Heb 8:12):
 I will never speak to you again about the
matter.
 I will never tell anyone else about it.
 I will never hold it over your head in a
non-verbal way.
 I will never allow my mind to dwell on it.
184
3.
When should we forgive others? What is
your authority?
When they say, “I repent.” Luke 17:3, 4
 If we have a forgiving spirit as Christ
has, we will be quick to forgive

185
4.
How many times must I be willing to forgive
the same infraction?
Jesus said, “…up to seventy times seven.”
 Clearly, he meant without end.

186
5. Is it possible to forget when someone has
sinned against you, repented and asked
for forgiveness?
Can you back your answer with scripture?
We expect God to forget our sins, so we
must also if were are to forgive as God
does. Ephesians 4:32
 David expresses our desires in Psalm
25:7

187
6. Biblical forgiveness leads to
reconciliation. What does that mean?
188
7.
Could Matt 18:15-18 be considered a
proper biblical procedure for
reconciliation?
If so, list the steps below. If not, please
explain why not.
 Determine that brother/sister has sinned
 Go to admonish them privately
 If he/she will not listen, take 2-3 with you
to establish every word
 If still unreconciled, take it to the church
 If still will not hear, withdraw fellowship
189
8.

Explain the meaning of Proverbs 19:11.
Being slow to take offense when slighted
or crossed will make one slow to anger, a
virtue.
190
9.
Identify some New Testament principles
which, if practiced, will help us be more
successful at forgiving and reconciling
with family members as well as our
brothers and sisters in Christ.
191
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 15: Confession
192
1. Confession is an important part of being a
Christian. What do the following passages
teach us about confession?

Matthew 10:32

John 9:1-38

John 12:42, 43

Romans 10:8-11

1 John 1:6
193
1. Confession is an important part of being a
Christian. What do the following passages
teach us about confession?

1 John 2:4

Acts 8:35-37

1 John 1:8-10

James 5:16

Proverbs 28:13
194
2. David is a prime example of a child of
God whose overall well-being was
dramatically affected by confession. Read
the story of David's sin in 2 Samuel 11
and of his being confronted by Nathan in
chapter 12. List the sins David committed.
195
3.
Was he forgiven by God?
How long after his sins?
196
4. It is thought that Psalm 38 was written by
David after he committed his sins, as he
approached the time of his confession. Read
the whole psalm but especially notice verses
1-18. What was David's condition?
197
5. In addition to his spiritual problems did he
have any physical or emotional problems?
If so, identify them and their causes.
198
6.
Which of David's words indicate his
turning and his confession?
199
7. Do you see a connection between David's
condition and James 5:13-16?
200
8. Psalm 51 is David's plea to the Lord for
forgiveness for his sins. In his confession
and subsequent forgiveness, what did
David expect to obtain?
201
9.
Notice Psalm 32:1-5, 10 and 11 which is
believed to be written about the same
events. What is the focal point of the
change in David's life from sickness and
depression to gladness and joy?
202
10. What important conclusions about our
own confession can be drawn from
David's experience?
203
11.
Can family relationships be happy and
peaceful without regular, open
confession of sins? Why, or why not?
204
12.
Does being parents immunize parents
from confessing their sins against their
children?
205
Lesson 16: Parents and children
 Birth
 A husband’s
transition to father is not great
 Wife’s transition to mother is dramatic
 Discipline Col 3:21; Eph 6:4
 If
parents disagree, children will manipulate
 Teen
years
 Must
teach children respect for authority early
 Parents must finally release them to adult
responsibilities
 Departure
 All
growing years should prepare for this exit
 Failure could spell disaster for your marriage,
and theirs
206
1.
What obligations do children have
toward parents? Cite scripture.
– Eph 6:1; Col 3:20
 Honor – Eph 6:1; Ex 20:12; Deut 6:16
 Heed instruction – Prov 1:8,9; 4:1-7
 Obey
207
2.
What reasons are given in
Ephesians 6 and Colossians 3 for
children obeying their parents?
That it may be well with you
 That you may live long on the earth
 To be well pleasing to the Lord (Col 3:20)

208
3.
What does Ephesians 6:2 mean by
"Honor thy father and mother...?”
Timeō – primarily to value; esteem
 Hence a price paid
 Used of valuing Christ at a price
Matthew 27:9
 Also of the preciousness of Christ to
believers – 1 Peter 2:7

209
4.
Considering the consequences of
honoring parents, what is implied
about the consequences of
dishonoring them?
 Things
will not go well
 Short life
210
5.
Why are Ephesians 6:4 and
Colossians 3:21 addressed to
fathers?

Father is the head of the family
Ephesians 5:23, 24; 1 Cor. 11:3
211
5. Does this mean that mothers are not
to be concerned about provoking
children or that they have no
responsibility to nurture? Explain.

Mothers should not provoke and are
responsible to nurture due to the law
of delegated authority; fathers to
mothers as God, the Father, to Christ
and Christ to the man
212
6.
Name some families in the Bible
which demonstrated poor relations
between parents and children. What
was the problem in each case?
Adam’s family – strife between siblings
indicates strife in the family (Principle:
top down, inside out)
 Isaac’s family – favoritism resulted in
jealousy, dishonesty, treachery, intended
murder and flight (separation) - Genesis
27

213
6.

Name some families in the Bible
which demonstrated poor relations
between parents and children. What
was the problem in each case?
Jacob’s family – jealousy and rivalry,
attempted murder among brothers due
to parental favoritism – Genesis 29-30
214
7. Which families in scripture are worthy
of our emulation.
Zacharias & Elizabeth, parents of
John the Baptist – Luke 1
 Righteous parents trained their son in
the right way with a spiritual purpose
for life
 Remained committed to their goal and
followed through

215
7. Which families in scripture are worthy
of our emulation.
Timothy’s grandmother, Lois, and
mother, Eunice (no mention of men) –
2 Timothy 1:5
 Their deep faith motivated their
training of Timothy and instilled in him
a deep faith also

216
Four steps which guarantee absolute
failure for parents:
1. The wrong example,
2. A lack of correction,
3. A breakdown in communication, and
4. No teaching of God’s word.
James R. Cope
217
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 17: Correcting children
Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers,
provoke not your children to
wrath; but nurture them in the
chastening and admonition of the
Lord."
218
1.
What does the word translated
"provoke" mean?
 Parargizō
- from pikrainō (to make
bitter)
 It
means to arouse to anger; to stir up;
to arouse intensely
219
2.
Is it possible to know that a child
has been provoked?
How?
 Anger
is a frequently displayed
characteristic of their behavior
 Easily angered; seem angry at the
world
 Discouraged; think negatively
220
3. What does the word "wrath" mean?
Remember: Parargizo = “to provoke to
wrath;” intensive arousal, stimulation to –
Parorgismos, a strengthened from of
Orge
Orge is strongest of all human passions
Contrasted with Thumos, an outburst of
temporary wrath from inward indignation
Orge is settled, seething anger and
discouragement (see Col. 3:21), often
with a view to taking revenge
221
4. Identify some specific practices of
parents that provoke children.
222
Ways we provoke…
 No
•
Kids need guidance, boundaries
 All
•
•
•
•
•
•
Walls - under-disciplined
Walls - over-disciplined
Too many rules; “heat of battle” rules
Punishment that does not fit the crime
Refusal to hear child
Mountains from molehills
“You never..”, “You always..”
Over-protection
223
How we provoke…
 Moving
Walls - inconsistent discipline
• Lazy
parents and hectic lifestyle
• Parents unwilling to adapt punishment
• Divided parents - Fathers must lead in
a united plan
• Saying “maybe” when you mean “no”
• Saying “no” when you really mean “yes”
 Black Walls - depressing, negative
discipline
224
Black Walls…
What's Your Point Of View
By Frederick Langbridge
Two men looked out from prison bars;
One saw the mud, the other the stars.
225
5.
Locate some Bible passages that
indicate children will need to be
corrected from time to time, and then
make a list of situations in which it is
Biblical to apply corrective action.
Gen 4:5 – Cain’s anger admonished by
God
1 Sam 2:22-3:13 – Eli should have
restrained sons who were guilty of
fornication
226
6. Is corporal punishment, i.e, spanking,
ever called for?
When?
Serious crimes. Some possibilities:
 Disrespect for authority
 Rebellion
 Lying
 Stealing
227
7. What recommendations would you
make to young parents about what
makes for proper corrective
discipline?
Emphasize good behavior; let them know
that you are pleased; reward good when
appropriate
Take away privileges until behavior
improves; try not to punish yourself
Explain why behavior is bad; show them
alternatives
Be consistent
228
Lesson 18: Positive discipline
1.
In your own words, state the positive
side of Ephesians 6:4 without using
the words "nurture", "chastening" or
"admonition.”
 Bring them up in the training and
instruction of the Lord (NIV)
 Bring them up in the discipline and
instruction of the Lord (RSV)
229
1.
In your own words, state the positive side
of Ephesians 6:4 without using the words
"nurture", "chastening" or "admonition.”
 Bring them up in the loving discipline the
Lord Himself approves, with suggestions
and godly advice (Tyndale’s Living Bible &
Living Letters)
 Bring them up in the training and
correction of the Lord
230
2.
Identify some ways this can be
accomplished
 Regular participation with the local church
 Careful training in God’s word
 Consistent, loving discipline
 Be authoritative, but not an authoritarian
 Set a good example
 Spend time with them, affirm your love
231
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Rules at home?
 Rules are for temporary restraint
3.
 God
expects parents to discipline
 Distinguish failure to perform versus rebellion
 “He who spares the rod” Prov 13:24; 23:13,14
 Punishment should not replace retribution
 Do not punish with work; teach work’s
dignity/joy
 Punishment should not be for the parent
 Base rules on Bible study/prayer with child
232
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Personal goals?
 How
to achieve worthwhile goals
 How
to choose and set goals
 How to plan getting from here to there
 That the end doesn’t justify the means
 To complete what is started
 To change plans and goals when needed
 How to handle both success and failure
233
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Prayer?
 When
and how to pray, and for what
 To
pray to the Father thru Jesus
 To pray from the heart, believing
 To know for what to pray
 To understand the Spirit’s role
 To accept the Lord’s answer
234
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Bible study?
 To
be an effective Bible student
 To
rightly divide scripture
 To be able to seek scriptural answers
 To be able to give defense for beliefs
 To feel the need to teach others
 To be a doer, not a hearer only
 To love truth
235
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Wisdom?
 What
it is, its value and how to get it
 To
value heavenly above human wisdom
Proverbs 4:1-10
 To distinguish between wisdom &
knowledge
 To realize knowledge comes from study
 To know God’s wisdom comes by asking
over time James 1:5
236
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Self-control?
 To
be confident in who they are, but
seek to become better
 To
have the courage of their convictions
 Willing to sacrifice to achieve what is
good
 To learn to restrain themselves from that
which it harmful or lustful
237
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Influence?
 To
realize the value and power of influence
 To desire the respect of others
 To have and protect a good name
 To value the good family name they
have been given
 To make use of liberties in a way that
influences others for good
238
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
The church?
 Its
divine nature and human failings
 To
always follow Christ as Head, rather
than good, but fallible men
 To be a responsible and effective
member of the body
 To be the solution rather than a problem
 To value the family, taking and giving
239
3.
What would you want your children
to understand about:
Commitment to the Lord’s cause?
 How
to faithfully contribute for His glory
 To give time and money
 How to prioritize
 To work with others without competing
 To be humble, work for God’s glory
240
4.
Who has responsibility for teaching
these matters?
 Father
and mother, with father
taking the lead
241
Positive, instructive discipline
 Set
goals for developing your children
 Use temporary rules to restrain them
 Teach principles
 Give them room to grow
Luke 2:52
 Teach to apply principles, make
decisions
 Teach getting wisdom Prov 4:1-10; Jas.
1:5
242
Positive, instructive discipline
Shape
attitudes
 Positive
thinking Philippians 4:8
 Respect
for authority Rom 13:1-7; Eph 6:1
 Love
for God, above all else Matthew 10:37-39
 Love
for the truth
 Love
for others Romans 13:8,10
 Mercy
Psalm 19:7-10
& compassion toward others
James
1:27
243
Positive, instructive discipline
Teach
spiritual as well as temporal skills
 Good
communications
 Putting away/putting on Ephesians 4:20-24
 Telling the truth
Ephesians 4:15
 Bible study
 Prayer
 Telling others the Gospel message
Reinforce
good habits
Teach how to handle pain and loss James 1:2
Teach them to redeem time Eph 5:16; Jas 4:13, 14
 To
recognize essential versus important things
244
Positive, instructive discipline
Encourage
in them lofty aspirations
 Teach
them to plan wisely and set goals
 Encourage excitement not fear of a challenge
 Teach reaching for worthwhile "unreachables"
Teach
them to deal with success and failure
 Humility
rather than pride James 4:6
 Uncomplaining acceptance of circumstances
Phil 4:11-13
Teach
by word and example
 Try
to practice what you preach
 Admit your mistakes and inconsistencies
245
Nurturing our children in Christ

Parents have a God-given responsibility
to bring up children to serve Him

Don’t listen to the world about how

And, don’t leave education to schools
Parents, raise children like eagles!
246
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 19: Keeping romance alive
Marriage is like an empty bowl;
it will remain empty unless you
put more into it than you take
out. Although it is possible to
give without loving, you cannot
truly love without giving.
247
Understanding Love
 Agape
 Philĕō
 Storge
 Eros
love – may be a
combination of Philĕō and Eros
 Romantic
248
Agape
Commandable
 Unconditional
 Active
 Sacrificial

249
1. What is required of the object of love
to warrant this love?

Nothing
250
2.
This is the love of John 3:16, 1
Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 5:25, the
love we are to have even for enemies
(Matthew 5:44). What justifiable reasons
might there be for a husband not to love
his wife with this kind of love?

There are none
251
Philĕō
Tender affection
 Conditional
 Emotional
 Cannot be commanded

252
3. Can emotional love be turned off at
will?

No, no more than it can be turned
on.
253
4. Is tender affection, which we all
crave, a matter of will?

To some degree, perhaps, but it is
largely a matter of emotion, not
will
How is it produced?

It is created and sustained by the
way the object of love behaves
254
5. Whose primary responsibility is it to
develop philĕō?

The object of love, i.e., the one
who wants to be loved
255
Philĕō in John 16:27
 God
does not love
everyone with this love
 He philĕō us because
 We
love His Son, and
 We believe that He
came from God
256
Storge
Very strong
 Unconditional in child’s early
years
 May become more conditional
as child becomes an adult

257
6.
Describe some benefits of strong family
love.
Support
 Training
 Encouragement
 Self-confidence
 Affection
 A “home” to go back to

258
7.
Describe some negative effects on a
marriage, which might result from strong
family love.
Too much time spent or siding with
parents or siblings to the detriment of
spouse and children
 Too much time spent or siding with
children to the detriment of spouse
 Interference in immediate family affairs
by extended family members

259
8. How is the storge in a person’s life to
change when entering marriage?
It must be refocused.
 Immediate family has higher priority over
blood family
 The family left for a spouse is always
loved, but not as strongly, i.e., the married
person will not give them as much time,
resources and affection as before.

260
Philĕō
 Titus
2:4 “commands” philandros, a
wife’s affection toward her husband
 Titus 2:4 also uses philoteknos in
reference to fondness of children
 1 Pet 3:8; Heb 13:1: philandelphos,
i.e., brotherly love is enjoined
 1 Tim 6:10: philarquria – fond of
money
261
Eros
The most intimate expression of
love
 Can also be a purely physical,
selfish act without love
 Forbidden by God before and
outside of marriage
 An honorable, beautiful thing
within marriage

262
9. What purposes for eros are stated in
the following scriptures Genesis 1:28?

Multiplication, procreation
263
9. What purposes for eros are stated in
the following scriptures 1 Corinthians 7:1, 2?

To keep a spouse satisfied within the
marriage thus reducing temptation to
commit fornication
264
9. What purposes for eros are stated in
the following scriptures Hebrews 13:4?
To provide for sexual release within
marriage that there be no reason for
fornication and adultery.
 Sexual intimacy inside of marriage
makes the union special , to be
honored uniquely above all other
human relationships.

265
10. Can you think of other scriptural
purposes?
To fulfill the complementary nature
of male and female. Genesis 2:18
 To fulfill God’s intent that two
become “one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

266
11. Within what context does God
approve of sexual intimacy of
any kind?

Only within marriage.
267
Romantic Love
Defined as a love affair; ardent
emotional attachment
 An emotional feeling, largely philĕō,
 Adds to philĕō sexual attraction, if
not eros
 The “super glue” of marriage

268
12.




What we call “romantic love” may be a
combination of “phileo” and “eros.” It
cannot be commanded because it so much
involves the emotions. It is a feeling that
grows out of attraction. Name some
attributes of a person that might provoke
romantic love in another.
Attractive, clean
Pleasant to be with
Humorous
Good conversationalist




Kind
Intelligent
Common interests
Interest in a relationship
269
13.
Describe what happens when
two people “fall in love.”
“Falling in love” is a process of moving
from independence to interdependence
In three steps:

Attraction

Acceptance (equates to feeling love)

Fulfillment (of emotional needs)
Joe Beam, “Love, Sex & Marriage,”
Family Dynamics Institute, Franklin, TN
270
14. What part do the five senses (sight,
hearing, touch, taste and smell) play
in this process, if any?
271
The Five Love Languages
by Gary D. Chapman
1.
Words of affirmation
2.
Quality time
3.
Receiving gifts
4.
Acts of service
5.
Physical touch
272
8 Languages of Love
 Looks/Appearance
5 Senses
1. Sight
2. Hearing
3. Touch
4. Smell
5. Taste
 Words/Sounds
 Touch/Caress
 Appealing
Scent
 Pleasant Taste
 Quality Time
 Gifts
 Kind Deeds
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Working on your relationship
“Falling in love” is a process of moving
from independence to interdependence
Three stages:
 Attraction
(function of the 5 senses)
 Acceptance
 Fulfillment
(equates to feeling love)
(of emotional needs)
Joe Beam, “Love, Sex & Marriage,” Family
Dynamics Institute, Franklin, TN
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15. How important is it for an “old”
married couple to keep romantic
love alive?
Extremely important. After the kids
are gone, there are many years left
for just the two to live together.
 Romantic love makes it fun, makes
life together worth living.
 Romance is the “super glue” of
marriage!

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15. List some activities that would
help keep romance alive throughout marriage.
Men, help her with domestic chores and
the kids
 Have dates – be romantic, like kids

Give gifts, maybe “Mrs. Robison” gifts ☺
 Special looks across the room
 A stolen touch or caress
 Be creative, find ways to say, “I love you!”

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Lesson 20: courtship
1.
Name some important things in life
for which extensive preparation is
absolutely necessary.
Playing the piano well
 Playing on a college sports team
 Career in medicine, law, or in computer
or physical sciences
 Teaching

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2. What are the possible results of failing
to adequately prepare for marriage?

Divorce, separation, or at least
unhappiness in the relationship.
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3.
What are some common reasons for
which people marry a particular
person?
“In love”
 Christian
 Fun to be with
 One dedicated to
making a godly
 Sexual attraction
union
 Money or social
 Responsible person
advantage
 Common interests  Afraid they won’t find
another to marry

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4. Of this list, which are wise and which
are foolish? Why?
Wise
Foolish
Christian
 “In love”
 Responsible
 Sexual attraction
person
 Fun to be with
 Common interests  Money or social
 One dedicated to
advantage
making a godly
 Afraid they won’t find
union
another to marry

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5. If you were choosing the “ideal” mate,
for what would you look?
First, one who is fully committed to
serving God and growing in faith, i.e.,
one who could help me get to heaven
 Then, one who is committed to making
a good marriage
 Next, one with whom I am compatible
 Next, one with whom is fun to be
 Lastly, one who is attractive.

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6.
What is good about the system of
having parents choose marriage
partners for their children?

If they are wise parents, their criteria
would be more dedication to God,
maturity, responsibility and
compatibility than sexual attraction,
being “in love” and other such
superficial and short-lived reasons for
marriage.
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7. What is good about the way young
people in our country choose today?

They are waiting until a later age to
get married so they are probably more
mature.
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8.
How important is being “in love.”
It is not the most important thing.
 If “being in love” is primarily emotional,
as we have said, it is based on what
appeals to the five senses, things
which will change over time.

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9. How long should two people know
each other before becoming engaged?

Long enough to know their convictions,
interests, integrity and aspirations
Before tying the knot? Why?

Long enough to know how they will
behave in their worst moments
285
10. What things should they understand
about each other before the
wedding? Make a list of subjects.
Convictions and their bases
 Their level of commitment to the Lord
 Level of maturity
 Attitudes and management of money
 Desire for a family, number of kids
 Dependency on family members
 Aspirations

286
11.Would it be wise for a young couple to
get some kind of marriage counseling
before the nuptials?
If so, how
extensive should it be? How detailed?
Several hours of training in the
scriptures governing marriage and
practicalities of building a happy union
 Should include a written examination
of attitudes, skills and convictions that
will impact the other partner
 No subject should be off limits

287
12. Where can two young Christians go
for help in getting ready for marriage?

To godly Christians, knowledgeable of
scriptures, who have been married
many years
288
Lesson 21: The value of a godly home
1. What is the greatest value in this life
of a godly home to –
The father?
 Provides
a place of peaceful rest and
recharging of his “batteries” for facing
the challenges and stress of work.
 Encourages him in his role as head of
the family knowing that all is well on his
watch.
289
1. What is the greatest value in this life
of a godly home to –
The mother?
 Satisfies
her need for peace and
security.
 Accrues to her self-esteem; makes her
feel needed, successful as the
“homemaker” (Titus 2:5), appreciated.
 Makes serving the Lord by being
obedient to her husband a joyful thing.
290
What
is
the
greatest
value
in
this
life
1. of a godly home to –
Individual children?
 Provides
an environment where they
can be trained and nurtured in the Lord’s
ways without hypocrisy and variance.
 Increases their effectiveness in learning
both secular and spiritual lessons.
 Equips them for later life with happy
memories and confidence to do well.
291
What
is
the
greatest
value
in
this
life
1. of a godly home to –
The church?
 Encourages
married members to make
their homes godly as well.
 Sets an example to the young of what
their future homes should be like.
 Is the backdrop for effective heartfelt
worship and service
 Is the seedbed for growing the church’s
future leaders
292
1. What is the greatest value in this life
of a godly home to –
Friends and neighbors?
 Serves
as an example to all.
 The godly influence it projects invites
others to partake of the rich blessings of
serving a loving Lord.
 Contributes to the overall well-being of
the community.
293
2. What makes a home godly?
 First,
a godly marriage where
both husband and wife are
focused on serving God and
G
making their marriage what
God wants it to be.
F
M
 Children who learn
C Marriage C
to respect and obey
contract
God and parents
H
W
294
3. Which home in the Bible is, for you,
the best example of a godly home?
 The
home of the virtuous woman in
Proverbs 31.
295
4. List all of the characteristics which
make this Bible home stand out to
you as one to be emulated today.
 Her
attributes and activities are listed in
Proverbs 31:12-27.
 Arguably, the character of the husband
and father is reflected in her behavior.
 He is obviously well respected in the
land – he “sits among the elders.” v. 23
 He appreciates her goodness. v. 11, 28
296
there things about this home’s spiritual5. Are
ity that were peculiar to the time in which
they lived or can all of the important things
they did be done by us today?
 Some
of the specific things she did
(weaving, for example) would not be
done by women today, but they could be
busy for the good of home and family.
 Most men would not be “sitting at the
gate,” but they would be in positions of
influence, praising her for her support.
297
6. Identify the one thing that would draw
your family closer to God.
 More
humility toward each other and
before God.
298
7. Write out your plan for incorporating
this one godly thing in the
environment of your home.
 More
readily confess every fault without
making defense for questionable actions.
 Find a way everyday to show through
words and actions that we esteem the
other better than self. Philippians 2:3, 4
299
Lesson 22:
Putting it all into perspective
1. Of all the things we have discussed
from the first lesson until now, what
one thing you could put effort into
would most assure good relations
with your family?
 Better
communications without any trace
of bitterness, sarcasm, criticism, temper,
arrogance or impatience.
300
2. What are the greatest problems that
you see that families who really
want to do God’s will must
overcome?
 Lack
of time to devote to study, prayer
and other spiritual matters
 Taking care of and pleasing family
members, which may detract from
pleasing God. 1 Corinthians 7:32, 33
 Worldly influences diverting our attention
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2. What solutions do you recommend?
 Distinguish
between those things
important and those things essential.
 Set priorities accordingly and schedule
time for only one of the neglected
essentials.
 Begin doing “what is needful.” Lk 10:42
 Follow through until the practice is habit.
 Add the next essential on your list.
302
Marriage and Family
…God’s Way
N. Terrace church of Christ
Chattanooga, TN
1st & 2nd Quarter, 2005
Week 20, Sunday
303
3. If, at this point, your family is not praying
and studying the Bible together as a
family on some regular basis, write out
here what is needed to remove any
doubt from your mind or any roadblock
in your way.
 Belief that it is important…or
 Time to do it…or
 A decision to do it…or
 Agreement from family members…or
 Resolution rather than intentions…or
 ???
304
4. What other areas of study, in your
opinion, are needed by families of
this congregation?
305
“going to heaven when you die,”
5.Besides
what reason would you give any family of
Christians for working at living according
to God’s rules for family life?
 It
would make your life more peaceful,
happy and productive than living selfishly
according to the wisdom of the world.
306
6. What reason would you give to a family
of non-Christians?
 The
same reason, but I would stress the
value of being in Christ, being able to
pray through Him to the Father for help
and enjoying the inner peace that comes
from belonging to a merciful God.
307
Course Summary
308
Draw closer to God…
...to draw closer to each other
God
Husband
Wife
Husband
Wife
Keeping
God in your
family
assures a successful, happy home!
Husband
Wife
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Lesson 1: The Marriage Relationship
Godly marriages are rare, but achievable….
 The
Bible’s marriage counsel is best
 God
wants us to partner like eagles…
Marriage is a lifelong commitment
Lesson 2: Building a Peaceful Home
310
Marriage’s Challenges…
The Challenge of Staying
in Role
The part of any system, which is out
of its assigned place, is the
beginning of disaster for that system
311
Lesson 3: The Husband's Role
Lesson 4: The Husband's Analysis
Lesson 5: The Wife's Role
Lesson 6: The Wife's Analysis
312
Unique power of each role…
Two striking attributes of our Savior are:
LOVING LEADERSHIP –
Seen in the Husband’s role
SUBMISSION –
Seen in the Wife’s role
Remember: “..submitting one to another
in the fear of God.” Ephesians 5:21
313
Lesson 7: Obstacles to a Happy Marriage
12 Obstacles To Godly Marriage
Pride, Selfishness
 Low self esteem
 Deception
 Lack of trust
 Lack of
commitment
 Laziness about
the relationship


Inability to resolve
conflicts

Ungodly
communication

Immaturity

Leaving God out

Other relationships
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Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 8: Difficulties in Communicating
Arguably, nothing is more essential to
good family relationships than effective,
wholesome communication
Lesson 9: Better Listening
Lesson 10: Biblical Communication
What
scriptures help us communicate?
What emotion most hinders effective
communications?
315
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 11: Financial Challenges
Is money a major or minor challenge?
316
Lesson 12: Including God in the Home
One of greatest benefits to happy
relationships is including God in the family
 Attending worship services of the local
church together is fundamental
 Family togetherness in spiritual matters must
go beyond simply worshipping together.
 The truly happy family consciously weaves
the things of God into the fabric of daily
family living.

317
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 13: Solving Family Problems
Develop and follow an intelligent, thought
out, agreed to plan for conflict resolution
The best defense….Godly principles:
Walk wisely, redeeming the time Eph 5:15-17
 No selfish ambition or conceit
Phil 2:3-4
 Always speak the truth in love
Eph 4:15
 Speak no corrupt word, only edify Eph 4:29

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Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 14: Forgiveness
Biblical forgiveness is a fourfold promise
to never… Ephesians 4:29




Speak to you again about the matter.
Tell anyone else about it.
Hold it over your head in a nonverbal way.
Allow my mind to dwell on it.
319
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 15: Confession
Confess your trespasses to
one another, and pray for one
another, that you may be
healed.
James 5:16
320
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 16: Parents and children
Lesson 17: Correcting children
Lesson 18: Positive discipline
Ephesians 6:4 "And, ye fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath;
but nurture them in the chastening
and admonition of the Lord."
321
Marriage’s Challenges…
Lesson 19: Keeping romance alive ☺
Marriage is like an empty bowl;
it will remain empty unless you
put more into it than you take
out. Although it is possible to
give without loving, you cannot
truly love without giving.
322
Understanding Love
 Agape
 Philĕō
 Storge
 Eros
love – may be a
combination of Philĕō and Eros
 Romantic
323
Lesson 20: courtship
Lesson 21: The value of a godly home
Lesson 22:
Putting it all into perspective
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