Relationship
Between Wife
and Husband
Imam Sameh Asal
Outline
 Objectives
of Marriage
 Expectations in Marriage
 Obligations and Responsibilities



Shared
Husband
Wife
 Tips
for Successful Marriage
 Case Study
Objectives of Marriage
 Take
THREE (3) minutes and discuss in
groups of about 4 people:


What are the objectives of marriage from
the human perspective?
What are the objectives of marriage from
the Islaamic perspective?
Objectives of Marriage
 Islaamic


Perspective
Worship Allaah (Al-Thaariyaat, 51:56)
Vicegerent on earth
 Story

of Aadam (may peace be upon him)
Al-Baqarah, 2:30
Objectives of Marriage



Seeking to earn Allaah’s pleasure
Fulfilling the Sunnah of the Messenger (SAAWS)
Stronger Faith



“The believers, men and women, are protectors one
of another…” [Al-Tawbah, 9:71]
“Help you one another in righteousness and piety…”
[Al-Maa’idah, 5:2]
Mercy and love and affection


“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates
from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility
with them, and He has put Mawaddah and Rahmah
between you; verily, in that are Signs for those who reflect.”
[Al-Ruum, 30:21]
“li-taskunuu ilaihaa”
Objectives of Marriage

Other Objectives

Pleasure and Ihssun



“He it is Who created you from a single person;
and (then) He has created from him his wife, in
order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living
with her.” [Al-A’raaf, 7:189]
Procreation
Sunnah of Pairing

“And of everything We have created pairs that
you may remember.” [Al-Thaariyaat, 51:49]
Objectives of Marriage
 Other




Objectives
Fulfilling and satisfying parenthood instinct
Progress and advancement of human race
Stronger and healthier society
Proper distribution of tasks and
responsibilities
 Even
animals have intricate and sophisticated
societies

Honeybee, ants, termites, lions, etc.
Expectations in Marriage
 Divide
up into (different) groups and take
about FIVE (5) minutes to discuss:




What are the overall expectations from a
marriage?
What are the expectations from a wife?
What are the expectations from a
husband?
Is there a difference between what ARE
and what SHOULD BE the expectations in
each case?
Expectations in Marriage








Differences of opinion
Different personalities
Miscommunication and misunderstandings
Obligations and responsibility
Commitment
Family (in-laws)
Pet Peeves
Love and Affection
Expectations in Marriage


Looking out for the best interest of each other
Difficulties




Support
Work and other duties




Ups and downs
Roller coaster
Stress, responsibilities, priorities
Personal development and growth
Sukuun (peace)
Libaas
Expectations in Marriage
 Wife’s






expectations:
Someone to listen to her
Someone to love her
Someone to support her
Someone to protect her
Someone to provide for her
Someone to help her grow
Expectations in Marriage
 Husband’s





expectations:
Someone to respect him
Someone to take care of his household
Someone he can take care of
Someone he can protect
Someone to love
Obligations and
Responsilibities
 Group
Time! Take about THREE (3)
minutes:



What are the
duties/responsibilities/obligations of spouses
in general?
Of the wife?
Of the husband?
Obligations and
Responsibilities
 Shared





Help each other be better Muslims
Treat each other with respect, kindness,
and compassion
Fulfill each other’s physical intimate needs
and desires
Provide good companionship
Proper understanding of the status of
women in Islaam
Obligations and
Responsibilities
 Wife



Main caregiver of the children
Obedience
Acceptance and Respect of the Husband’s
Qawamah
Duties and Responsibilities

Husband

Main financial supporter of family


Serving and helping


Allaah has made men superior and therefore
accountable for this
“A believing man must not dislike a believing women.
If he dislikes one of her traits, he should remember that
there are other traits that he likes.” [Sahih Muslim]
Proper use of Qawamah and proper fulfillment of
Qawamah’s responsibilities

“Live with them (your wives) on a footing of kindness
and equity. If you dislike them, it may be that you
dislike something in which Allaah has placed a great
deal of good.” [Al-Nisaa’, 4:19]
Case Study
 Divide
up into (different) groups and take
about FIVE (5) minutes to:



Read the case studies
Answer the questions within the group
Share with the rest of the group
Tips for Successful Marriage






Working together to please Allah
Never go to bed with an unsettled argument
Learn that you have differences
Express opinions in a calm way
Don’t idealize each other. Accept small
mistakes as long as they don’t form
behavioral problems
Considers each other’s needs even when you
don’t understand them
Tips for Successful Marriage
 Help
each other be better people
 Commitment
 Knowing and fulfilling duties and
responsibilities of each other
 Realizing that marriage is a blessing and a
test