“The tongue of the wise
brings healing”
Proverbs 12:18 (NAS)
“It’s harder to make amends with
an offended friend than to
capture a fortified city.
Arguments separate friends like
a gate locked with iron bars.”
Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)
“If I don’t understand what
someone is saying, I am a
stranger to that person. And that
person is a stranger to me.”
1 Corinthians 14:11(NIVR)
“As far as the Lord is
concerned, men and
women need each other.”
1 Corinthians 11:11 (CEV)
(She needs his love; He needs her respect)
“Love and respect are
means to use wisdom
and understanding to
establish your home”
Proverbs 24:3 (CEV)
WHAT IS THE “Crazy Cycle”?
When a wife feels unloved, she
tends to react in ways that feel
disrespectful to her husband.
When a husband feels
disrespected, he tends to react in
ways that feel unloving to his
wife. And around and around
they go—on the “Crazy Cycle.”
The Crazy Cycle
“The Crazy Cycle” happens when
spouses focus on their own needs and
overlook the needs of the other. But
all this information will do a marriage
little good unless both spouses commit
themselves to the practice of being
UNCONDITIONAL”; with the husband
giving the wife UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
and by the wife giving her husband
UNCONDITIONAL RESPECT!
KEY:
“Love and Respect
Must Be Unconditional”
“Nevertheless, each individual among
you also is to love his own wife even
as himself, and the wife must see to it
that she respects her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33
Unconditional respect
does not mean a wife
must be respectful of
evil behavior.
The best way for women to
motivate their husbands to
love them is by showing them
respect whether they deserve
it or not.
Unconditional respect, like
unconditional love, is all
about how one SOUNDS (tone
of voice and word choice) and
APPEARS (facial expressions and
physical actions).
The wife’s greatest value is Love! One of her
greatest fears is that if she shows her husband
respect, he will treat her like a doormat, abuse
her, or worse. Feminist voices have trumpeted
this idea for years.
Any man with basic good will want to serve his
wife, and he would even die for her.
The wife is to respect her husband as
first among equals and he is to honor
her as first in IMPORTANCE. This is
something to be practiced
REGARDLESS of feelings.
THE ENERGIZING CYCLE:
Here is an acronym C-O-U-P-L-E,
which provides six ways for a
husband to spell love for his wife.
C — Closeness: She wants you to be close…. and not
just when you want sex.
O — Openness: She wants you to open up to her, to
talk and not be closed of, act angry or
disinterested.
U — Understanding: Don’t try to “fix” her; just listen….
and be considerate when she’s really upset.
P — Peacemaking: There is power in saying, “Honey,
I’m really sorry.”
L — Loyalty: Always assure her of your love and
commitment.
E — Esteem: Your wife wants you to honor and cherish
her.
To show their respect, here are
six biblical ways in the acronym
C-H-A-I-R-S to spell respect for a
husband’s deepest desires.
C — Conquest: Recognize and thank him for his
desire to work.
H — Hierarchy: Thank him for his motivation to
protect and provide for you.
A — Authority: Acknowledge his desire to lead —
and don’t subvert his leadership.
I — Insight: Listen appreciatively to his ideas and
to the advice he wishes to offer.
R — Relationship: Value his desire for you to be his
friend and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with
him.
S — Sexuality: Respond to his need for you
sexually; don’t deprive him.