Discussing
Safer Sex
Comprehensive
Adolescent
Pregnancy Prevention
C.A.P.P.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Objective
Today we will discuss
essential information on
how to speak
to your adolescents about
reproductive health.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
This workshop will be divided into
three critical parts:
 Part
I: Introductions & Statistics
 Part
II: What You Need to Know
 Part
III: Healthy Discussion & Skill
Building Practicum
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Part I:
Introductions & Statistics
 We
will begin by conducting brief
introductions
 Name
 Age
of child/children
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Pop Quiz
What percentage of high school students have had
sex?
A:11%
B:89%
C:15%
D:39%
*Of these students, 29% did not use a condom during their
last sexual encounter. Only 8% used other forms of birth
control (pill/shot).
*National Center for Chronic Disease Prevention & Health Promotion
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Pop Quiz
What percentage of students have had their first
sexual experience before their 13th birthday?
 A:
1%
 B: 3%
 C: 5%
 D: 8%
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Pop Quiz
What percentage of high school students report
having had 4 or more sexual partners?
 A:30%
 B:15%
 C:
10%
 D: Less than 5 %
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
GUESS
What percentage of high school students
reported using drugs or alcohol before
their last sexual act?
19%
* 3% used a needle to inject illegal drugs
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
More Facts
 Today
we live in a hyper-sexualized culture. Sex is
virtually everywhere.
 Each
year about one million teenage girls become
pregnant in US
 19,000,000
new STI cases are reported in the U.S.
each year & half are among people under 25.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
More Facts
 According
to the CDC, 16 is the average age
when most people will have their first sexual
encounter.
 Sex
education is a parent’s responsibility.
 Talking
about sex with adolescents is never easy.
Parents usually do it when its too late.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Parents



93% think their own
child has not gone any
further than “making
out”
>50% reported that
they had not discussed
14 of the 24 sex-related
topics with their
sexually active teen
children
50% had not discussed
condom use or birth
control with their sons
Children




25% said that oral sex
or going “all the way” is
part of a tween (kids 11
– 14 years old)
romance
42% girls had not
discussed about birth
control
40% had not talked
about refusal skills
70% boys had not
discussed about
condoms and birth
control
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
PART II:
What you need to know
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
What is HIV?
H: HUMAN
I:
IMMUNODEFICIENCY
V: VIRUS
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What is AIDS?
A: ACQUIRED
I: IMMUNE
D: DEFICIENCY
S: SYNDROME
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Immune System and
its components
The four bodily fluids that transmit HIV
o
o
o
o
Blood
Semen
Breast Milk
Vaginal Secretions
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
The three transmission routes of HIV
o Unprotected sex
 Oral
 Anal
 Vaginal
o Mother to Child
 Breastfeeding
 Perinatal Transmission
o Sharing Infected Needles
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Common
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Chlamydia
Gonorrhea
Trichomoniasis
Syphilis
Herpes Simplex Virus 1 & 2
Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Hepatitis B & C
HIV
*Pubic Lice
*Bacterial Vaginosis ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
What kids need to know by 9 years old
MALE/FEMALE SEX ORGANS/FUNCTION
 How boys/girls grow and change
 The new feelings that may come with
these changes
Periods/Nocturnal Emissions
 What they are
 When they might happen and what to do
 Sex and pregnancy
 What sex is
 How babies are made
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
What older kids & teens need to know:
Birth control
 Different Types
 Over
 The
the counter and prescribed
Methods
 Condoms
(Male & Female)
 Birth Control Pill
 Birth Control Patch
 Birth Control Ring
 Intrauterine Device (IUD)
 Depo-Provera Shot
 Implanon
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WHAT IF I DON’T KNOW THE ANSWER TO SOME
QUESTIONS?
____________________________
NEVER WORRY ABOUT NOT HAVING ALL THE ANSWERS
“My daughter and I went to the library for a book
about growing up. We read a chapter every night
that week. Both of us enjoyed this special time
together.”
The library, educational video’s, approved
government websites, workshops & family planning
clinics are all great sources to facilitate learning
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Part III:
Healthy Discussion & Skill
Building Practicum
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
4 Steps to Discussing Safer Sex
 Start
now
 Build
Trust
 Emphasize
 Boost
values
self esteem
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Start
Now!
What are the benefits to
starting a discussion
about safer sex “now”
rather than “later”
?
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Why Now?
 Because
it helps children develop
responsible behavior and healthy
attitudes toward sex. Teens who
have discussed sex with their
parents are more likely to wait
longer to begin having sex and to
use contraception.
 You
can provide accurate
information (so you need to know
about it). Besides, you can reflect
the personal and moral values and
principles you want your children
to follow.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
• Eagerness & Curiosity
Pre-pubescent children are more openly
curious & eager to learn! Explain how things
work!
• Better Prepared
Discussing sex organs and the body before a
child begins to experience the physical
changes of puberty will make the transition
a lot less traumatic.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
•Less Tainted
Do not underestimate the things
children hear on the playground or
process from an adult conversation.
By starting the discussion now, you
can provide your child with correct
knowledge as oppose to them
receiving inaccurate information
from friends or the media.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Finding the right
moment
Instead of saying “it’s
time to talk about…
you know,” let the
topic arise naturally.
Be aware in those
everyday moments
and find the best
opportunity to talk.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Rule of Thumb
*If you discuss sex or sex organ
function with your child and they
appear to be shy or embarrassed,
then you’ve waited too late to initiate
the discussion.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
How?
"Even when I’m busy,
I make time to talk
with my son. I listen to
whatever he has to
say. I’m careful not to
make fun of the
questions he asks. I
want him to know he
can come to me with
anything he’s
wondering about."
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
 Listen
to your children & answer their questions
honestly. They need to know that you are taking
their questions and comments seriously.
___________________________________________________
Make time to talk:
 Sometimes kids ask questions when we don’t have
time to listen & talk. If this happens, be sure to make
time to talk about it later.

Be a good listener and consider your kids point of
view.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Respect your child’s feelings
Children’s feelings can get hurt easily. Losing
teeth, voice changes & new body hair can be very
traumatic for a child. Making fun of a child’s bodily
changes is the easiest way to make them self
conscious and lose trust
MAINTAIN CONFIDENTIALITY
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Be Honest
o Keep your sense of humor. If you are
uncomfortable, say so. But explain that it is
important to keep talking.
o Also use words that are understandable and
comfortable according to your children’s
knowledge.
o Children have more trust in a parent that is open
and honest as oppose to a parent that may act
as if they have all of the answers.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
 Emphasize
Values
WHAT ARE SOME OF
YOUR FAMILIES
VALUES?
______________
It is important to talk
about what your family
believes and why. If you
and your children talk
about your family values
in a practical manner,
your children will think
about them when they
make choices in life.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Moving beyond Facts
Give them accurate information as well as talk
about the feelings, attitudes and values. Tell the
children about reproduction, even about
intercourse, this is not going to rob them of
innocence. But remember always to link the
anatomic facts to love, caring and respect
involved in a romantic relationship.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Be Direct
State your feelings about specific issues. For
example oral sex or intercourse. Consider
the messages you want your kids to hear
and be open in sharing your values and
concerns. Do not be afraid to get down to
specifics.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Be
clear about what you expect from children.
Try saying:
“We think that waiting to have sex, at least until
you’re out of school, is the best idea.
What do you think?
(or)
“What kinds of things do you think might happen if
you have sex as a teen?”
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Boost Self Esteem
"How do I help my kids
feel good about
themselves? I spend
time with them. And I
listen! I listen at least
three times as much
as I talk. My kids know
I’m somebody they
can turn to.”
_______________________
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Help your children
As teens, they are making choices everyday
and sometime they don’t know what the right
way is. So you, as parent, give them support
considering pros and cons of choices without
judging them.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
 Reassure
them
All kids can have a hard time liking themselves.
They may feel confused about the changes
going on in their bodies. Often, they are worried
about being normal, being liked, & “fitting in.”
 Your
time = Your support
Show up at school events. Cheer them on in
sports. Accompany them to dance lessons.
Even in passing they can feel your
encouragement & support.
Time is life’s most valued asset
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
 Ask
them about what’s going on in their lives and
give them your full attention. Choose to do
something together that they enjoy. Even doing
the dishes or other chores together can help them
feel loved.
 Create
a climate at home where your children
can ask about sex. Let them know that it is OK to
ask. Having a calm and non-critical atmosphere
for discussions
 Encourage
them in something THEY enjoy doing
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Assert your permanence
Make
sure they know that you love them no matter
what grades they get, no matter what choices they
make, and no matter what problems they have.
Kids who are loved and supported in this manner
tend to make better choices for themselves and
learn more quickly from their mistakes.

ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
 Know
the Facts!
They want to
know the
information from
you as you are
their most
reliable source!
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Keeping safe
Saying no to a touch
that doesn’t feel right or is
confusing & getting help right
away
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Don’ts…
 Do
not set aside a special day or time to talk
about sex
 Do
not postpone discussions of sex until you
think the adolescent is involved in a relationship
 Do
not try to say everything at once
 Do
not overwhelm them with information
 Do
not break their privacy
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Don't overreact!!!
It just makes things worse! Chances
are if your child does something you
don’t approve of they already feel
terrible for disappointing you.
Speaking calmly and explaining why
you feel the way you do is more
effective than overreacting.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
“Sex Talk” Barriers
 “I
don’t want to encourage them to have sex”
 “I
don’t want them to think by talking about sex I
am giving them permission to go do it”
 “My
kids took a sex-education class already.
They already know this stuff.
 “My
parents never discussed sex with me and I
turned out fine.”
 “I
don’t need to discuss this now. My child knows
that sex is only for married people”
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Scenarios/Practicum
Role playing is a
great way to learn
how to prepare, plan
and practice your
reaction to certain
questions or
scenarios.
Next, we will dissect a
number of different
situations to help
build strong safer sex
discussion skills.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Questions
What
happens if my period comes while I’m in
school?
What
Is
is an orgasm?
oral sex really sex?
What
is a virgin?
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Questions
Why
Is
is there hair on your private parts?
it O.K. for me to have a discharge?
Are
condoms really necessary? Doesn’t the bible
say that God put us on this earth to reproduce?
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Scenarios
While
cleaning up one Saturday afternoon, you find
condoms in your 14 year old child’s closet. How can
you initiate a conversation about the condoms?
___________________________________________________
You come across your 16 year olds daughters
Facebook page and see a picture of her sitting on a
male friends lap. How can you approach her about
the picture?
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Scenarios
You
hear your 10 year old mindlessly singing a
popular song with lyrics that discuss various
sexual positions and “getting wasted.”
How do you initiate a conversation about the
song lyrics?
How is sexuality portrayed in the media versus
“real life”
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Scenarios
You
come home early from work to find your 17
year old son making out with another 15 year old
girl from the neighborhood. His belt is unfastened
and his pant zipper is halfway down.
How do you solve this problem efficiently?
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
TIPS ON CONVERSATION INITAITION
Use
current events to start the conversation
She/he may tell you something she heard at
school.


Someone you know is having a baby.

You may hear a song on the radio.

Create a game out of it
(Jeopardy: HIV, STI’s, Genitalia, Puberty)
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Conclusions
oUnprotected sex –at any age, even once- can
result in pregnancy. Young adolescents are much
less likely to use contraception than are older
adolescents.
oPregnancy at an early age is both physically and
psychologically risky. Teach them the effects of a
pregnancy.
oThe risk of STI’s among teenagers are high.
Make it your mission to educate yourself about
different STI’s, how they are transmitted and how
they effect the future.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Last Words…
We have come to the end of our workshop.
We realize how uncomfortable it may be to discuss
sex with your kids.
The bottom line is that young children and
adolescents need to know how their decisions now
can effect their health & future.
Sex is extremely important and is the core of all life!
Discussing sex and the body with your children
clearly & accurately is one of the best ways a parent
can prepare their child for a successful adulthood.
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG
Any
Questions
Comments
Concerns?
ACQC- CAPP -EDU- GJ/TG