HHSAC1 - Individuals and Families in a Diverse
Society - Ms. Yasin
CHAPTER 7
MARRIAGE AND
INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIPS
OTHELLO AND DESDEMONA IN VENICE BY ,
BY THEODORE CHASSERIAU 1819 - 1856
(INTERRACIAL COUPLE)
FORMING INTIMATE
RELATIONSHIPS
Intimate relationships are a common topic of movies, novels, television
programs, poems and songs.
The romantic couple has become the dominant media icon.
FORMING INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS - MARRIAGE
Marriage is assumed to be a binding and enduring relationship
Many Canadians still worry if they will be able to find this lasting relationship
Think about the media and what it is promoting in terms of a relationship. Does
this truly happen in reality?
10% of marriages in Canada are truly monogamous
Serial Monogamy - This mostly takes place in Western countries where
marriage to several spouse takes place.
This is a logical result of divorce (p.190)
ATTRACTION MATE SELECTION AND ROMANCE - MARRIAGE
Free - choice mate selection - Individuals are attracted to each other, fall in love and decide to
marry (p.191).
Marriage - Rooted in the idea of the biological urge to re-produce
Romantic Love - A fairly recent social development, in many cultures romantic love is seen as a
hinderance to marital stability.
ATTRACTION MATE SELECTION AND ROMANCE - ARRANGED MARRIAGES
What are the benefits of an Arranged
Marriage?
Are there any??
ATTRACTION MATE SELECTION AND ROMANCE - ARRANGED MARRIAGES
Parents know the kind of person that would be socially compatible
with their son/daughter (Social Exchange )
Families ensure to find a male that will be able to support the the
future family and to find a female that is healthy to have babies
(Evolutionary Psychology)
Parents choose an ideal mate, the young adult is confident with the
parents choice (Ideal Mate Theory)
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION NATURAL SELECTION
Natural Selection - Anthropological evidence and Evolutionary
psychologist's explain that the mate selection process is likely to
ensure that children were born and survived adulthood to reproduce, so
that these genes were passed onto the next generation.
Women preferred to be with men who would be good fathers, men
preferred to mate with women who could bear healthy babies.
Summary of Natural Selection - Anthropology explains that women
are attracted to good providers, and men are attracted to women who
appear to be fertile (p.192).
NATURAL SELECTION
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION SOCIAL HOMOGAMY THEORY
Social Homogamy Theory - Individuals are attracted to people from similar social
backgrounds (Buss, 1994).
How about in a diverse society there are many different individuals?
Social Homogamy Theory can be used to describe how individuals who are from different
races are attracted to one another. (p. 192)
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION
- SOCIAL HOMOGAMY THEORY
Individuals who are born and socialized in the same environment are
similar in other aspects of their social and economic background.
Symbolic Interactionist Perspective - Attraction is based on an
individuals unconscious image of the ideal mate formed from his or her
perceptions. The Ideal Mate Theory (p.193)
Unconscious ideal
Love at first sight? Does this exist?
The Ideal Mate Theory supports this concept.
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT....
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION
Social Homogamy Theory explains that people usually look for
someone with a similar appearance and background of their
own.(p.193)
The Social Exchange Perspective - Attraction is based more on
reality than fantasy.(p.192-193)
People assess the resources that they have to offer
What resources can you think of?
SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION
- SOCIAL EXCHANGE THEORY
Physical Attractiveness
Wealth
Pleasant Personality
social Status
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION
"As a general thing, people marry most
happily with their own kind. The trouble lies
generally in the fact that people usually
marry at an age when they do not really know
what their own kind is." - Robert Davis
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION
What are some of the factors that determine the success of a marriage?
Social and Psychological Roles - partner choice is deeply rooted and shaped in
early youth.
Proximity - How close do you live from one another
Social Homogamy ensures that couples are compatible
Couples who have similar backgrounds - more likely to have similar beliefs and
expectations, more likely to raise their children according to cultural expectations.
Social Homogamy is also the basis of mate selection in societies that practice arranged
marriages. (p.193)
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION THE DEVELOPMENTAL PERSPECTIVE
Intimacy - The Developmental Perspective
Requires a full appreciation of each other's uniqueness and separateness.
Requires an understanding of what one has to offer, and what one needs in return.
Individuals are not capable of a fully intimate relationship until the identity crisis of the transition to adulthood is resolved.
Committing to intimate relationships earlier would result in defining identity through the relationship. (p.195)
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION
The challenge of intimate relationships is gaining intimacy without loosing
oneself.
What do you think?
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE SELECTION EVOLUTIONARY PSYCHOLOGY
What do men want? What do women want?
Women are more likely to marry earlier, during the identity transition
Men are more likely to marry as they get older.
Can you explain this in Evolutionary terms?
THEORIES OF ATTRACTION AND MATE
SELECTION - WHAT DO MEN AND WOMEN WANT?
Why is the age difference necessary?
Men need to maintain a dominant status in a patriarchal
marriage
However ..... Women now have increased financial potential
and extended fertility
But....age difference between bride and groom continues to be
the social norm. (p.195)
ROMANTIC LOVE - STERNBERG'S LOVE TRIANGLE
ROMANTIC LOVE - STERNBERG'S LOVE TRIANGLE
Passion - a strong feeling of sexual desire for another, develops
the most quickly of the three.
Intimacy - The intense friendship develops , as each individual
shares himself with one another. Each becomes more willing to
meet each other's psychological needs.
Commitment - Maintaining the relationship grows as the rewards
of this relationship over others become evident, individuals accept
reciprocal roles. (p.196)
ROMANTIC LOVE - BIOLOGICAL TERMS
The sudden rush of feelings of passion when lovers fall head over
heels in love is the result of amphetamines (Phenylethylamine,
PEA), released be the Hypothalumus gland.
Physiological response - Heart rate increases, flushes face, rapid
breathing
Limerance - A blissful feeling ,with the mind only being focused
on the loved one.
ROMANTIC LOVE - BIOLOGICAL TERMS
ROMANTIC LOVE - BIOLOGICAL TERMS
After several years the amphetamines drop, these are replaced with the hormone Oxytocin
The highly aroused state of Limerance gives way to a state of clam and reflection
Evolutionary Perspective - Love is advantageous because it allows individuals to
maintain a relationship and leads to having children.
Romantic Love provides psychological motivation for individuals to want tot marry
(p.198).
Biological need and desire to be loved - leads to the social norm of being a couple.
ROMANTIC LOVE - COURTSHIP
Courtship - Individuals win the affection of those whom they are
attracted to.
Dating - Courtship evolved into the informal in the North American
Social Convention (p. 198-199)
ROMANTIC LOVE - COURTSHIP
Bernard Murstein explained the relationships among dating, social
homogamy and social exchange were a multi - step process.
He uses the analogy of a process of 'sifting' through a series of
filters (p. 199).
As the relationship progress and becomes more serious, the
individuals get to know one another and the filters become finer.
They are then ready to marry.
MURSTEIN'S FILTER THEORY
DATING AND MARITAL SUCCESS
Dating - Is this the best predictor for the outcome of a good
marriage?
Martin King Whyte tested this hypothesis
Results found that there was no correlation between dating
experience, length of dating, degree of pre-marital intimacy, and
marital success (p.201).
Marriages are slightly less successful with the dating experience Why do you think this is?
DATING AND MARITAL SUCCESS
Dating is not an indicator of marital success but love is.
Being in love when you marry is the best indicator of marital
success.
Couples who had a strong sexual desire for one another and
enjoy each others company are more likely to have the
happiest marriage (p.202, Whyte, 2001).
Commitment - Devotion to the relationship