Attraction and Mate-Selection Theories
Individuals and Families: Diverse Perspectives
Unit 3: Chapter 7
How do we select the person we marry?
Marriage in Canada
• Most marriages in Canada are a result
of free-choice mate selection where
people are attracted to one another,
fall in love, and make the decision to
marry
• There are several theories that can be
used to explain the attraction between
individuals and the unconscious
choices people make when they
choose a spouse or partner
Evolutionary Psychology
• Evolutionary psychology, a branch of
anthropology, explains that sexual attraction
can be traced to our prehistoric ancestors
• Strategies that help individuals compete for
limited resources to survive, reproduce, and
raise children are called adaptive behaviours
• These adaptive behaviours gave individuals
an evolutionary advantage that allowed
them to pass on their genes and culture to the
next generation
Did we inherit the habits of our ancestors?
● Evolutionary psychologists studied evidence collected from
around the world and have determined that adaptive
behaviours helped ensure the birth and survival of offspring
● Women chose mates who had resources and who therefore
could be good providers
● Men chose mates who could bear and feed children
Sexual Attraction Today
Studies reveal that individuals are still attracted to the
person that can help them raise the most successful
children:
Men
Women
attracted to physically
appealing, younger women
(implies fertility)
attracted to older, financially
secure men (implies a good
provider)
However, in all cultures, “men and women wanted
mates who were intelligent, kind, understanding,
dependable, and healthy” (Buss, 2007)
Social Homogamy
• Explains that individuals are attracted to people
from similar social and cultural backgrounds
• Often ensures common social, cultural, and
economic values and lifestyles
• Research has shown a high correlation between
age, race, ethnic background, religion, socioeconomic status, and political views (Buss,
1994, 2007)
Social homogamy can also be used to
explain the attraction between two people
who are from different ethnic backgrounds
but are born or socialized in the same
socio-economic environment
Ideal Mate Theory
• This theory states that attraction is based
on an individual’s unconscious image of
the “ideal mate”
• It is founded on the symbolic
interactionist perspective because a
person’s image of the ideal mate is
formed from their perceptions of the
physical, cultural, and socio-economic
factors they value
Love at first sight?
• Ideal mate theory supports the
concept of love at first sight because
everyone has an unconscious ideal of
what is attractive and lovable in a
mate
• Our perceptions of what is attractive
are formed from both good and bad
experiences we have with other
people, our family, and even media
personalities we are familiar with
What are some characteristics that you
find attractive in a person?
Exchange Theory
• States that attraction is based on what
people are really like, rather than on what
is ideal
• It explains how individuals are attracted
to different people, that is, we do not all
search for the same “ideal mate”
• Tries to answer the question: What do
they see in each other?
What do they see in each other?
• Exchange theory suggests that individuals assess their
resources—what they have to offer in a relationship: physical
attractiveness, educational attainment, wealth, social status,
or specialized interests—and look for the best possible mate
who will be attracted by these resources (Small, 1995)
• This means that sometimes an attractive but shy person
might attract an outgoing, less physically attractive mate
A final word about love…
• Some researchers suggest
couples who live and work
together to raise children
probably would grow to
love one another regardless
of how their marriage came
about (Yalom, 2001)
• Yet, in 87 percent of all
cultures, the relationships
between men and women
are based on romantic love
(Nadeau, 1997)