A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
Are we having a conversation
yet?
 Decide
there is an issue.
 Select the appropriate person.
 Select appropriate time, place.
 Give conversational cues.
 Verify attention.
A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
Do we agree on what happened?


What was the
expected
behavior/event?
What was the
actual
behavior/event?



STOP and
LISTEN
Did all parties
have the same
expectations?
Do all parties
agree on the
facts of the
actual situation?
Expected vs Actual
 What EVENT or BEHAVIOR did you expect to
occur?
 specific, observable, behavioral



NOT how you feel
NOT a wish for behavior
NOT an explanation of event
 What EVENT or BEHAVIOR actually happened?
 specific, observable, behavioral



NOT a criticism of behavior
NOT the results of the behavior
NOT your unhappiness
Stop talking!
Practice Expected vs. Actual
A team member has been late to the last few
meetings.
What do you say to open the conversation about
the issue?
what you EXPECTED (not what you wished)
 what ACTUALLY occurred (not the bad effects)
 then STOP TALKING!

A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
Establish Cause of Problem
 Is there a barrier to
achieving expected
behavior?


Does everyone agree
that it is a barrier?
Are resources
insufficient to achieve
organizational goals?
 Eliminate barriers.



unilaterally
in cooperation
with external
resources
A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
Negative Messages

deliver correction, rejection, change while
maintaining a positive relationship
 be
honest
 be clear
 provide positives
Defusing Anger



Listen!
Control your body
Refocus his attention




Stop
Breathe
List
Collaborate
Responding Non-Defensively

DON’T

give a REASON for
your behavior

DO




CRITICIZE the other
person in return
DENY the behavior or
interpretation


SEEK more
information
CLARIFY details,
perception, expected
or actual
ASK for definition of
desired behavior
AGREE with
facts or perception
A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center
A Path to Conflict Prevention
Are we having a conversation yet?
Do we agree on what happened?
Expectations were unclear....try again!
Expectations were clear
A barrier prevented success..fix it!
Someone chose not to meet expectations
Appeal to group goals.
Explain impact on others.
Appeal to personal gain.
Fire the jerk!
Cyphert©2001; UNI Management and Professional
Development Center



Your programmer has provided you with a
“draft” of the needed work, explaining that
she hasn’t had time yet to debug it.
The liaison reports that the client is “a little
unhappy.”
Several members of the team have come to
you, concerned that you are spending too
much time on second-guessing decisions
and changing their work for no good reason.