Listening to children’s emotions and
feelings
Checking in
Background to non-directive play
• Non-directive play therapy developed in the 1960’s out of the
recognition that it is not always possible or best to try to identify
and address children’s problems with a direct approach.
• Although non-directive play therapy is a specialist field for
professional play therapists many of the underlying principles can
be applied to everyday situations when working with children.
• Virginia Axline is a renowned play therapist who developed
8 principles for non-directive play that are still widely used today.
Summary of Axline’s Principles
Adults should accept the child exactly as he/she is and provide an
environment where children feel free to express their feelings completely.
Adults should recognise the feelings the child is expressing and reflects those
feelings back in a way that gives the child insight into his/her behaviour.
Adults should respect children’s ability to solve their own problems if given
the opportunity, giving the child the responsibility to make choices and to
institute change. The child takes the lead in the play and the adult follows.
Adults should give the child time to play and only put in place boundaries that
are necessary for safety, such as ‘golden rules’.
Sand Tray Activity
Benefits of non-directive play
• It is child-centred and child led, empowering children to resolve
their own social and emotional difficulties.
• Children are more likely to express their feelings freely in
non-directive play.
• The adult is more likely to tune into the child’s emotions and
feelings, particularly tone of voice and body language in
non-directive play.
• The child receives the adult’s total attention by the adult
entering, sharing and valuing the child’s world.
The Squiggle Game
The Squiggle Game was developed by Donald Winnicott,
a paediatrician and child psychiatrist working in the 1960’s
to find an appropriate way to communicate with a young child.
It is a fun pencil and paper technique for eliciting children’s thoughts
and feelings.
Winnicott started off by drawing a squiggle on a piece of paper; he then
asked the child to add to it. Winnicott and the child took it in turns to
draw something in response to the other’s squiggle.
Music activity
The child chooses the instrument, the
adult chooses the same instrument.
The child plays the instrument and the
adult mirrors how the child
plays.
Therapeutic Stories
Where a particular difficulty has been identified, therapeutic stories
are a tool that can be used to support children.
Therapeutic stories use metaphor to address emotional or unresolved
difficulties in a language that children can relate to.
The word metaphor itself is a metaphor,
coming from a Greek word meaning to
"transfer" or "carry across."
Metaphors "carry" meaning from one word,
image, or idea to another.
In therapeutic stories the problem is
addressed indirectly through a story.
Attunement and reflection
The discipline of reflecting rather than asking questions
and making comments takes practice.
It can be challenging for practitioners, particularly if
presented with behavioural difficulties. Behaviour can be
disturbing to the observer and resisting the normal desire
to rescue the child from their pain is hard.
Ways to support children’s feelings and emotions
•
Acknowledging and reflecting back a child’s feelings
“I can see you are feeling really angry about……”
•
Tune in to children’s feelings and follow their lead through
non-directive play and creative activities.
•
If appropriate use therapeutic stories.
•
Persona dolls can be used to explore feelings in a non-directive way in
circle time.
•
Social skills groups.
Acknowledgements
• Thanks to St John’s C of E Primary School, Tisbury for the loan
of instruments.
• Thanks to Busy Bees Pre-school, Salisbury for the loan of
instruments and their persona doll.
• The powerpoint presentation and handouts on non-directive
play, therapeutic stories and persona dolls will be available on
the Bright Horizons website. If you would like information and
advice about social skills groups contact your Early Years
Inclusion Officer.