BUILDING RESPONSIBILITY
IN YOUR CHILD
Vicki Hilliard, LSW
New Horizons Child and Family Counselor
Debby Rockwood, LISW-S
Lancaster City Schools District Social Worker
“IF YOU WANT CHILDREN TO KEEP
THEIR FEET ON THE GROUND, PUT
SOME RESPONSIBILITY ON THEIR
SHOULDERS.”
-ABIGAIL VAN BUREN
WHY TEACH YOUR CHILD TO BE RESPONSIBLE?
Teaching your child responsibility is a tool to help
them be successful in life.
 Teaching your child to be responsible means training
them to develop self control and healthy problem
solving skills.
 Learning responsibility will allow children to take
accountability for their actions, and accept the
consequences of their choices.

Responsible character is formed over time.
RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE ACT THE WAY THEY
SHOULD WHETHER OR NOT ANYONE IS
WATCHING.
STEPS TO HELP YOUR
CHILDREN LEARN TO BE
RESPONSIBLE:
MODEL RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR:
Children learn from what they see and hear, and we are
teaching our children with what we say and what we
do. What they witness can have lasting effects.
Set a good example by acting in a responsible way.
Be the person you want your children to be. Think
about your values and how you show these values to
your children. Make responsibility a family value.
“CHILDREN ARE LIKE WET CEMENT.
WHATEVER FALL ON THEM MAKES
AN IMPRESSION.”
DR. HAIM GINOTT
HAVE THEM HELP OUT WITH CHORES
Children as young as 2 can learn to help out with chores. It may
take them longer, but they will learn that they can do things to be
helpful.
Do the chores along with them. Have a positive attitude about
getting these chores done. Turn it into a game; set the timer and
see if they can beat the clock.
When they are old enough, have a list of chores they are
responsible to complete each week, or let them pick which chores
they would like to do. Give allowance and let them learn how to be
responsible with their own money.
USE ROUTINE CHARTS
Have your child help you create a routine chart. When they are
involved in making the chart, they will be more motivated to follow
through with it.
Focus on areas that your child struggles with or has trouble
remembering to do, such as:
Morning routines
Bedtime routine
Homework completion
Use can also use charts to reinforce and encourage a desirable
behavior (sleeping in their own bed, cleaning their room, turning
in homework, …)
ESTABLISH AGREEMENTS, CONSEQUENCES, AND
REWARDS IN ADVANCE
When developing a routine or reward chart with your child, have them help you
come up with the rewards and consequences.
You and your child should decide together on a realistic reward for completing their
chart. It should be something your child is motivated to work towards. Give
encouragement and praise along the way.
If your child is not following through with their chart, you can kindly ask them,
“What was our agreement about getting your homework done?” This puts the
responsibility back on them. You are helping them to make the right choices.
If they choose not to follow through with the agreement, they must accept the
consequences. Establish what these consequences will be in advance. Be firm and
consistent when following through with consequences.
USE NATURAL CONSEQUENCES WHEN THEY
MAKE MISTAKES
Teaching responsibility means teaching your child to make good
choices. When good choices are made, they will experience the
positive consequences of that. When poor choices are made, they
will experience and have to accept the negative consequences.
Sometimes the consequence does not have to come from you.
Sometimes natural consequences can be more effective, and they
will teach your child to make a better choice the next time.
For example, if they lose their baseball glove, then they
may have to borrow one or sit out of practice.
BELIEVE IN YOUR CHILD
Recognize your child’s strengths and abilities. Do
not focus on their failures.
Give encouragement for their efforts. Specifically
point out what you like about their behavior. This
will help motivate your child to continue making
good choices.
Believe that your child can be responsible. If you
believe in them, they will believe in themselves.
GET HELP AND SUPPORT
Even adults need to ask for help. Talk to other parents,
read books, or join parent support groups.
“It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much
as we watch to see what our children do with their
lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours.
I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can
do is reach for it, myself.
-Joyce Maynard