Non-verbal
communication
Metacommunication and
Paralanguage
Non-verbal communication is
anything other than words that
communicates a message.
The way we stand, walk, shrug our
shoulders; the clothes we wear, the
car we drive, or the office we
occupy; all communicate ideas to
others.
All these things which we take into
account in interpreting what someone
is saying, over and the actual words,
are referred to as
‘metacommunication’.
‘meta’ is Greek and means ‘beyond or
‘in addition’; hence,
metacommunication is something ‘in
addition to communication’.
However, if you get additional
communication from the inflection of
her voice, then she communicated this
by means of what we call
‘paralanguage’.
Frequently paralanguage conveys the
opposite of the words themselves.
When this happens, we usually pick
up the meaning of the paralanguage
rather than the language being used
‘its not what he
says, but the way
he says it’.
Non-verbal channels are
the ones which seem to
be least aware in
ourselves, but most
aware in others
lets have a look at the
non-verbal language of
-silence
-time and
-body language
The language of Silence
You think you have made a
fabulous speech and you ask
your audience to ask any
questions – there is pin-drop
silence in the hall. How do you
feel?
“silence is golden’, so the
saying goes, but is it?
A long period of silence may be
golden for some people in certain
circumstances, but at times it can
be embarrassing and even rude
It could be boredom, rejection,
disagreement, total
satisfaction,…very ambiguous!
We are social creatures and our
society is made up of responses to
each other. We keep on seeking
reassurances
One of the cruelest social
punishments is ‘solitary
confinement’
Silence builds walls- and walls are
barriers to communication.
At times silence can bean
effective technique in
encouraging feedback, or a
real two-way communication
Silence is a powerful tool of
communication, but it must be
used skillfully
The language of Time
 It is easy to assume that we all experience
time in much the same way
 After all an hour is an hour
 Yet time is experienced differently by
different nationalities, societies, and
cultures.
 There is a Christian calendar, Muslim
calendar, Hindu calendar and so on
Even in the same culture different
communities will divide time into
different time periods.
Different businesses have different
weeks, seasons.
Different professions have different
time scales
Markets, schools/colleges, tourist
seasons, courts, agriculture…
 Different people attach different value to
time
 ‘one minute’, ‘never’, ‘as soon as
possible’, ‘let’s call it a day’,
 For some 9a.m. is sharp 9a.m. while for
the others it could be 10a.m., or 11a.m. or
even later
 Time is also used to show eagerness,
interest, enthusiasm, attitude,
seriousness…
There are cultural differences in the
uses of time, which a business traveler
should be aware of
At luncheon meetings the business is
discussed either before, during, or after
depending on that country’s culture
Local customs, cultures, manners,
etiquettes and such, vary from place to
place, caste, creed, religion, income,
education, lifestyles, social status… the
variances are too many
Body language or kinesics
A favorite sport of many people is
‘people watching’ or, Desmond Morris
has called his very popular book,
‘manwatching’
What do you do when you are waiting
on a railway platform, alone or at a
busy doctors clinic…
Possibly you can’t hear, so you are
actually listening/hearing/reading
their body language
Whether we are aware of it or not, each
of us spends a lot of time decoding body
language, or as it also known as
‘kinesics’
The non-verbal communications often
come through louder than the words
that are actually being spoken and are
frequently the means by which we reveal
the emotional side of our
communications.
The non-verbal messages of a speaker
tend to reveal the degree of presence of
sincerity, conviction, honesty, ability and
knowledge; they reveal, too, a lot about
the speaker and their attitude and
feelings about the message they are
transmitting.
Body language of the receiver also
reveals a lot about them and their
feelings
But, more important, it frequently tells
the speaker the extent to which their
audience is accepting or not accepting
the message.
In other words, body language provides
instant feedback to the speaker and tells
them how they are doing.
It is needless to state that to be a good
body language reader you have to
sharpen your powers of observation
Space
Before we try to understand the
movements of the various parts of
the body, we should first examine
our attitude to the space in which
that movement takes place.
Just the way silence and time
speak, so does space.
Not only does space affect the
way we communicate, but we
use space to communicate
Each of us have space we feel
is our own
‘the three bears’ story
examples
Boss’s room/chair
Mom and dad’s bedroom
Juniors hostel
P.G. class
Ladies line
Members enclosure…
Space and status
Your room- boss’s room
Small car- big car
1bhk-3bhk
Napean sea road- Dharavi
LLIM- IIM-A
Territory
Seashore- towel
Train seat- hanky
Table no. 1
Front/back bench
Assignment
How do you in a
hypothetical situation stake
your claim on a particular
territory?
How do you feel when
people invade into your
territory?
Personal space
Intimate distance
Personal distance
Social distance
Public distance
Touch
Touch is probably the
earliest form of
communication and still is.
However ,
society/cultures/surrounding
s/upbringing…bring in
inhibitions
Orientation and posture
We can influence
communication and signal
our attitude not just by our
proximity to others but by
the position and posture we
adopt.
Body language or kinesics
Exercise
Look at the drawings on the
board. Which of the
following adjectives
describes which posture?
•
Angry
Aloof
Ashamed
Casual
Describing
Dominating
Doubtful
Impatient
Modest
Questioning
angry
Sad
Self-conscious
Resigned
Self-satisfied
Shy
Surprised
Suspicious
Undecided
Uninterested
Psychologists findings
Posture 1
Posture2
Uninterested
Describing
Resigned
Doubtful
Questioning
Self-satisfied
Impatient
Describing
Casual
Angry
Posture 3
Posture 4
Shy
Self-conscious
Ashamed
Modest
Sad
Surprised
Dominating
Suspicious
Undecided
Aloof
Head nods
We shake our heads up and down or
from one side to another
In some instances it is done at different
speeds
There are many reasons and
implications
Could be a yes, no, go on, I want to
intervene and speak, encouragement,
disagreement, agreement and so on…
Facial expressions
 Of all body movements, facial expressions are
the ones we are most able to control
 A person’s face provides a commentary on the
reactions- surprise, disbelief, agreement,
disappointment, anger and so on
 At times there is a mis-match between the
verbal words and facial expressions
 If this is combined with body movements it
becomes that much more complimented
Eye movements
 In contrast to other body signals,
movements of the eyes have an effect quite
out of proportion to the physical effort
exerted
 Some eye movements are quite
uncontrollable but nevertheless send out
very strong messages which we receive
almost without being aware of them.
 They perform many functions…
To indicate interest
When two people are engaged in
conversation they look each other
in the eye intermittently
Usually each looks between 25
and 75 percent of the time
The glances vary in length but we
tend to look twice as much while
listening as while talking
The amount of look is related to the
amount and kind of interest; if we are
interested in someone or what they are
saying we will look at them, whereas we
will tend to direct our gaze away if we
are uninterested
At times, long periods of looking may
indicate a desire for intimacy
When a general glance in a train or a
lift or a public place becomes a second
glance and then a stare it means more
than just a passing interest
To gain feedback
People look primarily to
obtain information: to get
reactions, to gauge their
interests
Believability, truth,
confidence and such things
get justified
To synchronies speech
Eye movements, like head
nods and grunts, are also used
to synchronies speech.
They need to see how the other
person is reacting, thereby
continue with modifications if
necessary