Jewish Marriage
as a rite of passage
Time
• Tenakh ages for marriage
overridden by Australian civil
law.
• Can take place on any day
except the Shabbat and
festivals.
Time
• Most Jewish weddings
take place on a Sunday.
• Tuesday is considered
a lucky day because in
the creation story God
said “it was good” twice.
Place
• May take place
inside a synagogue
or outside.
• It always takes
place under a
chuppah (a canopy)
Under the Chuppah
Indoors in the
synagogue
or outdoors
Inside
or
outside
The Chuppah may be simple
Often the Chuppah is elaborately
decorated and supported by four
poles covered in flowers.
The participants
• kallah (bride)
• chassan (groom)
• Friends and family
• rabbi (officiates)
• God is present
A rabbi usually officiates
• Though it can be any observant
Jew sufficiently familiar with the
requirements, because
• marriage, under Jewish law,
• Is essentially a private contractual
agreement between a man and a
woman.
The Charter
In Judaism marriage is
• the ideal human state.
• rated very highly.
• seen as the way to
emotional and spiritual fulfilment.
• desirable for both man and woman.
The Charter
Sacred writings related to
the Jewish marriage rite
• Marriage is to be encouraged
because
• ‘it is not good that a man
should be alone’
(Gen 2:18) and
The Charter
Sacred writings related to
the Jewish marriage rite
• Rabbi’s strongly advocate marriage
arguing that
• ‘he who has no wife is
not a proper man’
(B.Yeb. 62b).
The Charter
Marriage is considered
• To be the basic social institutional
in Judaism.
• Judaism presents the
woman as the home-builder.
The Charter
The sanctification of the home
• is expressed in the woman’s
special mitzvah,
• the mikveh,
• and all the food laws which the
woman has to maintain.
The Charter
Marriage can provide
• Physical fulfilment in
the form of sexual
expression.
• When Orthodox
Judaism speaks of a
sexual relationship
• it means marriage.
The Charter
The Hebrew
word for marriage
• Kiddushin (sanctification)
expresses its sanctity.
• marriage is not only
a sacred relationship,
• but the sacred relationship.
The Set Form
in Jewish
Marriage
Set Form – pre-liminal
Two weeks before the
Orthodox wedding
• the groom must obtain a Ketubah.
Set Form – pre-liminal
The couple are required
• to meet the Rabbi a number of
times before they marry, so he
can offer advice about the
meaning of marriage.
Set Form – pre-liminal
There is also a meeting
• between the bride and the rabbi’s
wife who will explain what is
expected of each partner in a
marriage.
Set Form – pre-liminal
A few days prior to the
wedding
• the bride will visit the mikveh to
immerse herself as required by
the Torah.
Set Form – pre-liminal
On the Shabbat before
the wedding
• The groom is called to
the reading of the Torah.
• People throw nuts and
raisins or sweets on him as
a symbol of a sweet life.
Set Form – pre-liminal
In Orthodox Judaism
• On the day of the wedding
• The couple fast before the
ceremony,
• as they prepare for a
solemn as well as a
joyful occasion.
Set Form – pre-liminal
The men, including the
• ushers, arrive first. This is
known as the groom’s Tish – the
time when the groom, ushers and
male family members gather for
song and prayers
before the ceremony.
Set Form – pre-liminal
The veiling of the bride
• Carried out immediately before
the processional of the bride,
groom and attendants.
• It takes place in
another room while
guests are being seated.
Set Form – pre-liminal
The veiling of the bride
• A veil is placed over
the brides eyes.
• It is based on story
of Jacob in Genesis 29.
• Veiling the wife is a symbol of the
groom’s commitment to clothe and
protect his wife.
Set Form – pre-liminal
Sometimes it is simply
• a lifting of the
veil before the
ceremony by
the groom to
check who is
behind the veil.
Liminal – The ceremony
• the bridegroom is escorted
to the chuppah by the fathers
of the bride and groom.
• The groom may already be
present under the chuppah
before the ceremony begins,
Set Form – liminal
Liminal – The ceremony
• Or he may march down the aisle
with his parents, followed by the
bride and her parents.
• If the groom is already
under the chuppah then:
Set Form – liminal
• The bride is escorted by either her
parents or
• both mothers (or sometimes by her
father)
• The bride stands on
the groom’s right.
Set Form – liminal
The bride and groom
are escorted
• because Adam and Eve were
escorted by angels to their
wedding.
Set Form – liminal
During the ceremony
• The escorts carry candles, since
Jewish custom associates light
with joy.
(Esther 8:16)
Set Form – liminal
Once under the chuppah
• The couple stand facing the rabbi
or official conducting this part of
the ceremony.
• Forming a square, the fathers of
the couple stand on the groom’s
left and the mothers on the bride’s
right.
Set Form – liminal
The Bride then circles
• the groom seven times to show this
is the man she wishes to marry.
Set Form – liminal
The number seven
• corresponds with
the seven times in
the Tenakh where it
is written “when a
man takes a wife.’
Set Form – liminal
The action also
• represents the
role the wife
will play in
creating an allembracing,
religious warmth
within the home.
Set Form – liminal
The initial blessings
• are recited over wine as both
partners drink from a single cup
as a symbol of the
shared joy and
gladness over the
marriage itself.
Set Form – liminal
Giving of the ring
• Groom places a
wedding ring on the
forefinger of the right
hand where it can be
displayed most clearly
to the two witnesses.
Set Form – liminal
The ring
• is later transferred
to the finger
usually used in the
country of the
wedding.
Set Form – liminal
On giving the ring
• The groom says the words of
consecration
• “Behold, thou art consecrated to
me by this ring, according to the
Law of Moses
and of Israel.”
Set Form – liminal
The ring is
• a symbol of eternity.
Set Form – liminal
In Orthodox congregations
• The groom does not receive a ring.
• Conservative congregations follow
the Orthodox form, but
it is usual for the bride at
this point to give the
groom a ring.
Set Form – liminal
In many reform congregations
• Both the bride and groom recite
the English words, “With this ring
I thee wed.”
• The words of both
formulas constitutes the
vows of Jewish marriage.
Set Form – liminal
The couple are now
• set apart from others for each other.
• A lifelong commitment is implied,
• but Judaism does
not believe that
people can promise
this in vows.
Set Form – liminal
Next the ceremony focuses
on the marriage contract
• The person conducting the wedding
reads out the Ketubah in Aramaic
and often gives
an English
summary.
Set Form – liminal
In the presence of
two witnesses
• The groom accepts the ketubah by
taking hold of a
handkerchief given
to him by the
officiating rabbi.
Set Form – liminal
The signed ketubah is
• Presented to the
bride.
In some Orthodox
communities
• The groom reads and agrees to the
ketubah before
the ceremony
begins.
Set Form – liminal
In Conservative Judaism
• Both the bride and groom often sign
a simple marriage certificate, a
practice that is followed in all
reform congregations.
Set Form – liminal
The marriage closes
• As it began with blessings recited
over a cup of wine.
• Both partners drink
from this second cup,
again symbolising
their resolve to share everything
during their life together.
Set Form – liminal
This is followed
• By the recitation of seven
blessings, praising God for the
creation of all things, of Man, and
of man and woman in His image.
• Not only the story of creation, but
also the history of Israel and its
future hopes are echoed.
The recitation ends with
• ‘Blessed are you,
O Lord, who gladdens
the bridegroom with
the bride’.
Set Form – liminal
The bridegroom then
• Crushes a glass with his shoe to the
shouts of
Mazel Tov
From the guests –
Mazel Tov meaning
‘congratulations’ and
‘good luck’.
Set Form – liminal
In Orthodoxy
• The breaking
glass is a
reminder of the
destruction of
the Temple,
Set Form – liminal
Whilst in other
congregations
• it is a more general
reminder of life’s
fragility and sadness.
• It also symbolises that
the act of marriage
cannot be undone.
Set Form – post-liminal
Sometimes the couple
• Are left in a private room
(yichud) for a brief period
immediately after the ceremony.
• This signifying their
new status as
husband and wife.
Set Form – post-liminal
Yichud means
• “togetherness alone”
and is a mitzvah in the
Orthodox tradition.
• Here they break the
fast with a small
meal before joining
the celebrations.
Set Form – post-liminal
A celebratory meal, the
reception or Wedding feast
• is held after the wedding for the
couple and their guests.
Set Form – post-liminal
The reception
• is usually a lavish dinner where
the guests and relatives participate
in the mitzvah of
celebrating in joy
with the bride and
groom.
Set Form – post-liminal
To show this joy and how
special the couple are
• the bride and groom are carried on
the shoulders of the guests.
Set Form – post-liminal
In Orthodox communities
• It is likely that men and women will
have separate dancing during the
event with strictly Jewish music.
Set Form – post-liminal
While other variants
• Allow mixed dancing with a
mixture of different sounds
including Jewish music.
Set Form – post-liminal
The meal itself
• is usually kosher in Orthodox
marriages, however
• all variants may cater for both
kosher and non-kosher meals
depending on the
variety of guests.
Set Form – post-liminal
The reception
• The meal
concludes with
grace and a
repetition of the
seven marriage
blessings.
Set Form – post-liminal
Traditionally
• a celebratory meal is held in a
different home for each of the
seven nights following the
wedding.
Set Form – post-liminal
The seven blessings
• from the wedding ceremony are
also recited at the end of of each
of these meals.
• The couple are welcomed as full
married members of the
faith community.