Managing Group Dynamics
Methodical Assertiveness
By Leslie L. Miller, Lecturer
W231 Professional Writing Skills
Understanding Assertiveness
Definitions
– Assertiveness is a style of communication
that is learned
– Assertiveness is a type of dialogue
– Assertiveness is interactive
– Assertiveness is standing up for your
rights as a human being
– Assertiveness is based on the premise that
“if you behave in certain way[s],
something predictable will occur”
(Barnette).
Understanding Assertiveness
The Goals of Assertiveness
– Assertiveness aims at helping people to
not give in when it comes to expressing
their needs and feelings
– Assertiveness seeks “win-win” solutions
(Tufts)
– Assertiveness chooses to be an “agent of
change” (Tennessee State Employee Assistance
Program)
Jo Slater, Deputy District Health Promotion
Officer of the Central Nottinghamshire Health
Authority:
“It is a quality and behavior which expresses a belief that
each person is . . . important enough to be recognized
and acknowledged and have [his or her] needs
responded to.
Assertiveness as a quality and behavior therefore
demands the use of specific interpersonal skills, i. e., a
person giving expression to her rights, thoughts and
feelings in a way which does not degrade, insult or
interfere with the reasonable rights of others.
I see these definitions of ‘assertiveness’ as being
synonymous with ‘personal effectiveness’” (338).
Objections to Assertiveness
• It is rude
• It is selfish
• It is repackaged aggression
True Assertiveness
• It allows all voices to be heard, and no
one gets walked all over
• It moves the members’ goals and the
agenda along, and no one has to be a
doormat
• It gives team members the language
to discuss, evaluate, and make
decisions about group problems and
issues, and no one is left behind.
What are the benefits?
It develops your ability to constructively
– say “no” and refuse requests
– ask favors and make requests
– express positive and negative feelings
– initiate, continue, and terminate any
encounter in which you do not feel
comfortable
When and where is it beneficial?
• When disturbing behavior is worth
bringing up
• When not being assertive is harder
than putting up with a behavior
• At planned times set for such a
discussion
• In private discussions when both
parties are calm
Who needs assertiveness?
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
People in conflict
Team members
Committee members
Families
Public officials
Teachers
Students
???
The Language of Assertiveness
• Four parts of assertive conversation
– Statement of empathy/validation
– Statement of problem
– Statement of what you want
– Restate what the other person has said in
response
The Language of Assertiveness
• Accomplishing Assertiveness
– Use facts, not judgments
– Use “I” statements
– Express ownership of your thoughts,
feeling, and opinions
– Make clear, direct requests
– Face the other person
– Repeat back or rephrase what another has
said
Examples
• To the chronically late team member:
“Our meeting was for 10:00. We started
the meeting without you. I must
admit I get upset when you are late. I
want you to have a voice in our
decisions, so how can we help you be
on time?
Another Example
• To the team member with late work
“The team agreed last week that the AB
submissions would come in today so
they can be compiled. We have to
turn in the completed AB on Tuesday.
I really don’t want our project to get
a bad grade, so I need to have your
AB section by 1:00 today. Will you be
able to do that?
References
Barnette, V. (2000). Assertive communication. Retrieved October 10, 2006, from
University of Iowa, University Counseling Service Web site
http://www.iuowa.edu/~ucs/asertcom.html
Berstein, L. (2005). Do you hear me? Current Health, 32.4, 22-24. Retrieved October
10, 2006, from EBSCOhost database.
Dwairy, M. (2004). Culturally sensitive education: Adapting self-oriented assertiveness
training to collective minorities. Journal of Social Issues, 60.2, 423-436. Retrieved
October 10, 2006, from EBSCOhost database.
Kennedy, P. J. (2006). Assertive Communication: An Introduction. Retrieved October
10, 2006, from University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, Counseling Services Web site
http://www.uwec.edu/counsel/pubs/assertivecommunication.htm
ODT Tip sheet. (2002). Retrieved October 10, 2006, from Tufts University,
Organizational Development & Training Web site
http://www.tufts.edu/hr/tips/assert.html
Reap the benefits. (2004). Retrieved October 10, 2006, from State of Tennessee, State
Employee Assistance Program http://www.tntech.edu/hr/Training/fle-0506.pdf
Slater, J. (1990). Effecting personal effectiveness: Assertiveness training for nurses.
[PDF Version]. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 15, 337-356. Retrieved October 10,
2006, from EBSCOhost database.
Practicing Assertiveness
• Divide into teams of three.
• For each scenario, one member needs
to record the practice and lead the
discussion and two need to engage the
activity.
• There will be three scenarios, so each
member can rotate his or her position.
• At the end, the class will consider the
activity.