HOW TO HAVE BETTER SEX
Family Life Week
Wednesday February 4, 2015
BETTER SEX
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We get married for the wrong reasons
because we haven’t matured enough
for the right reasons to exist yet.
Struggling with wrong reasons for
getting married can produce right
reasons to stay married.”
David Schnarch
BETTER SEX
If we are proposing that there is
something called better sex then we
must confess that we are not doing as
well in the bedroom as we should.
 Some reasons
Boredom
Laziness
Naiveté
illnees
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BETTER SEX
There
are three important terms to
consider
Sexuality
Sex
Making Love
BETTER SEX
Sexuality refer to our basic orientation
as male or female. It includes what we
think, how we think, and why we thing
the way we do as male or female. It is
not what we do but who we are.
 The word sex refers to one’s gender –
male or female. When people say they
are having sex, this suggest that they
are acting on their sexual urges by
having sexual intercourse.
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BETTER SEX
 For
Christians having sex or
making love is more than
a physical act. For animals it is
just physical. For humans it is the
total sharing of oneself with
another person for the good of
that person and
 It’s selfless. It dies to its own
needs. It duplicates God’s love
BETTER SEX
 Sex
was God’s idea. It didn’t
come as a result of the fall. Since
it came from God it is not
shameful or sinful once done as
God prescribed.
 God’s voice; Gen 1:31, 2:24,
2:25
 This is what makes us different
BETTER SEX
Animals act on instinct. They have
seasonal sex, and anyone of it’s kind will
do
 Some people behave like animals,
anyone, anywhere, anyhow
 Better sex isn’t just about the physical
satisfaction of sexual urges, but doing it
in a one flesh manner as God prescribed.
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BETTER SEX
 Big
Questions
 Is there emotional union?
 Is there spiritual union?
 Can the act be sanctioned and
ok in God’s sight?
BETTER SEX
We are created differently from the
animals in two significant ways
 We are created in His image – Gen 1:27
 We were created for relationship, first
with him and with each other – Gen 2:18
 Sex then is not just a means to and end;
It is more than to feel good, to satisfy
ourselves, to ease tension, to enjoy
pleasure. It is for God’s glory.
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BETTER SEX
When sex is a means to an end anything
can be the object of that means
 But when seen from God’s perspective it
will be done as God prescribed it
 How did God prescribe it:
 Male and female (monogamous) Gen
2:21
 In the context of marriage Gen 2:24
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BETTER SEX
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Premarital sex is not God’s plan
Multiple partners is not God’s plan
Same sex partners is not God’s plan
Animals partners is not God’s plan
Oneself as a partner (autoerotism) is
not God’s plan
BETTER SEX
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In the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve
messed up and sin entered, everything
including sex has been affected since
sin entered. Sex has therefore been
tarnished since the fall. Please observe
that the mess came when they broke
their relationship with God
Gen 3:10 (they were afraid)
BETTER SEX
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The Good News is that even though
the relationship was damaged, Adam
and Eve were not abandoned
Gen 3:15 (Promise of a Savior)
We have hope today in spite of our
damaged lives, broken heart, and
messed up relationships
Restoration is in Relationship with God
BETTER SEX
Sex as God Sees it
 Hebrews 13:4; Key
words
 Honorable – It’s great
 Marriage bed – Coitus
This another word for sex
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BETTER SEX
Avoid spectatoring – Don’t become an
anxious observer of self or partner. This
results in performance anxiety making
the sex act less satisfying.
 Touch often, kiss often, communicate
often
 Keep working on better marital
relationship
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BETTER SEX
CONCLUSION
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In Eph. 5:25 - Sex the way two people
get involved with each other – the
ecstatic, frantic, intense union that can
occur in the marriage bed - is a symbol
of the relationship between God and His
Church. In other words it is a symbol of
the way in which we can be intensely
involved with God