Influencing and
negotiating skills
Housekeeping
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mobile phones
break times
toilets
emergencies
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Workshop overview
At this workshop the following will be addressed:
› the characteristics of people who can effectively
influence others
› techniques for successful negotiation
› building relationships that enable cooperation and
successful negotiation outcomes
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Workshop expectations
What do you know about the topic?
What do you need to know?
What outcomes do you expect from this workshop?
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Influence:
the capacity or power of persons or things to be a
compelling force on or produce effects on the actions,
behaviour, opinions, etc., of others.
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Activity
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Topic 1
Understanding influence.
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Activity
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Power, influence and negotiation are interrelated.
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Influential people are:
› confident
› trustworthy
› positive
› focused
› goal oriented
› action oriented
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7 behavioural styles:
› assertive
› autocratic
› democratic
› emotional
› logical
› negotiating
› persuasive
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Activity
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Topic 2
Perspectives
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Sphere of influence
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Circle of concern and influence
Circle of concern
Things I truly
cannot control
Circle of
influence
Things I can
control
Things I think
I cannot control
Things about
which I care
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Listening
A good listener hears what is said AND hears what is
meant.
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Take the time to understand what others say.
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Perspectives
Your
own
Objective
observer’s
Other
person’s
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Activity
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Topic 3
Influencing behaviours
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Listening
‘We have two ears and one tongue in order that we may
hear more and speak less.’
(Diogenes)
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Rapport
‘Always get to know the other party. Never negotiate with a stranger.’
(Somers White)
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Acuity
uptime – attention focus totally external
downtime – attention focus totally internal
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Calibration
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Framing
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Emotional framing
Harness positive messages.
Eliminate the negative.
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End framing
‘The two words 'information' and 'communication' are often
used interchangeably, but they signify quite different
things. Information is giving out; communication is getting
through.’
(Sydney J. Harris)
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Activity
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Topic 4
Advanced communications
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Passive people:
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do not express their views, feelings and beliefs
make it easy for others to disregard their views
put themselves down to accommodate others
avoid confrontation at all costs
place themselves only in easy situations
let others make decisions
expect others to know what they want or mean
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Aggressive people:
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set out to win at the expense of other people
put others down or override their wishes, feelings or views
believe their needs are more important
express themselves in unsuitable, inappropriate ways
are verbally or physically abusive
frequently use authoritarian words such as should or must
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Passive-aggressive people:
› respond indirectly and control others by manipulation
› make others feel guilty, awkward or inadequate, to get
what they want
› use insincere flattery, sarcasm, barbed humour or telling
body language
› appear to think highly of others but disapprove
underneath
› use silence as an intimidation strategy
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Assertiveness:
communicating needs, wants or opinions in a clear, direct,
honest manner AND maintaining respect and sensitivity to
the needs of the other party
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The 3 step response
1. Declare your understanding of the other party’s need.
2. Express your feelings and respond to the request.
3. Suggest an alternative course of action.
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Conflict
‘…Celebrate diversity, practice acceptance and may we
all choose peaceful options to conflict.’
(Donzella Mitchell Malone)
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Negotiating
‘Negotiations between conflicting parties is like crossing a
river by walking on slippery rocks...it's risky, but it's the only
way to get across.’
(Hubert Humphrey)
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Strategies:
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stay calm
be positive
address issues not personalities
validate the other's point of view
be sure of your facts
avoid exaggeration
state your needs
strive for a resolution in which everyone gains something
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Dealing with aggression
Respond assertively.
Refuse to participate unless the other party modifies their
behaviour.
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Fight or flight instinct
Thicken your skin, make a joke, be assertive.
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Activity
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Topic 5
Negotiating
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Goals
Establish your goals.
Know what you are prepared to lose and how you can
compromise.
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Tips
‘Negotiation in the classic diplomatic sense assumes
parties more anxious to agree than to disagree.’
(P Dean Acheson)
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Work together
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To deal or not to deal?
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‘Influence may be the highest level of human Skills.’
(Thomas Kempis)
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Activity
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Summary
leaving today please share:
› 1 thing you learned
› 1 new practice you will undertake at work
› 1 activity you enjoyed
Thankyou for your attendance and participation.
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