WHAT IS A HEALTHFUL FRIENDSHIP?
• A balanced relationship that promotes mutual respect and healthful behavior
 Improves the quality of life
• Friends…
 take a personal interest in each other
 support each other
 encourage each other
 participate in social activities together
“A friend is a gift you
give
yourself.”
“To have a friend,
you must be a friend.”
CONVERSATION KEEPERS/KILLERS
Asking questions
Showing interest in others
Listening carefully
Responding to others
Encouraging others
Being positive
Making eye contact
Sharing ideas/feelings
Encouraging others to talk
Talking about yourself
Appearing disinterested
Interrupting
Changing the topic
Bragging
Complaining
Avoiding eye contact
Talking about others
Dominating the
conversation
REJECTION
Everyone experiences rejection
Rejection: the feeling of being unwelcomed or unwanted
How should you respond?
 Anger?
 Bury feelings?
 Don’t care?
BALANCED FRIENDSHIPS
Friendship requires the commitment of 2!
Balanced friendship: 2 people give and receive from each other acts of kindness
EQUAL giving and receiving!!
WAYS TO GIVE AND RECEIVE
GIVING
RECEIVING
Listening
Listening
Helping celebrate
success
Accepting gifts or help
Buying special gifts
Express gratitude
ONE-SIDED FRIENDSHIPS
One-sided friendship: a friendship in which one person does most of the giving and
the other person does most of the receiving
Why?
 People Pleasers
 Don’t know how to receive from others
• People pleaser: person who
constantly seeks the approval of
others
– Insecure
– Give to be liked and noticed by
others
“USERS”
People who do most or all of the receiving
Take from others to get their needs met
Little interest in meeting the needs of their “friends”
The believe they always should come first
Want to be in control of decisions
They do not know how to become close to others
ENDING FRIENDSHIPS
Changing friends is a part of growing up!
Why do friendships change?
 Friends may move away
 A friend may break confidence
 Interests change
There are times when a person needs to be objective about and decide if a “friend” is
a friend
 Encourages wrong actions contrary to one’s own values
DEFINITION
•
The extent to which individuals believe that they can control events that affect
them.
•
There are two types:
• Internal
• External
INTERNAL VS. EXTERNAL
INTERNAL
EXTERNAL
• The person believes
they can control
their life.
• The person believes
that their decisions &
life are controlled by
environmental factors.
• Outcomes are a result of
their own abilities
• Hard work leads to
positive outcomes
• Every action has its
consequences
• Blame others for the
outcomes rather than
themselves
• Luck
• Fate
• Powerful others
EXAMPLE
• A student did not perform well on a test.
• What would be the reaction of a person who has an internal locus of control?
• What would be the reaction of a person who has an external locus of control?
HOW DOES IT DIFFER FROM PERSON TO
PERSON?
•
Age
•
Gender (depending on the topic)
•
Cultures
•
Stress
TIPS FOR DEVELOPING AN INTERNAL LOCUS OF
CONTROL
•
Set goals for yourself
•
Develop decision making and problem solving skills
•
Build self-confidence
•
Pay attention to your self-talk
“The key for your own personal
development is to understand your
natural tendency for reaction and
then adapt it to the situations you
are faced with.”
IMPORTANCE OF SETTING GOALS
•
Help people focus on particular issues or activities
•
Due to the fact that a goal is often written, the person will be reminded that the
issue still needs to be addressed and will continue their efforts to accomplish the
goal.
•
Once the goal is accomplished, the person may feel a sense of satisfaction.
•
Promotes confidence and the challenge to attack more complicated and difficult
issues.
GUIDELINES TO KEEP IN MIND…
•
Understand yourself
•
Have a specific task in mind
•
Be positive
•
Be realistic
•
Have control over the outcome
•
Challenge yourself!
SIX STEPS IN THE GOAL SETTING PROCESS:
• Identify your goal in writing. If it’s not written, it is just a
wish.
• Identify any short-term goals or steps necessary to achieve
a long-term goal.
• Identify all resources that can assist you in achieving the
goal.
• Identify alternative plans and solutions for any conflicts
that may arise.
• Continue to improve and refine your plan.
• Evaluate. What went well? What could you improve on
when pursuing a similar goal in the future?