Friendship and Support
Overview of Friendship
 Nature of Friendship
 Rules of Friendship
 Theories of Friendship
 Balance Theory
 Developmental Theory


Theories that describe how relationships change
over time
e.g. Social Penetration Theory, Reinforcement
Theories (Exchange and Equity)
 Forming and Maintaining Friendships
 Friendship Across the Life-Cycle
Nature of Friendship
 A friend is someone:
 With whom we are intimate
 Whom we trust
 On whom we can depend
 Who shares
 Who is accepting
 Who is caring
 With whom we are close
 Whom we enjoy
(Sapadin, 1988) Answers from 156 professionals
in Boston, New York, and Los Angelos
Rules of Friendship
 Rules of Relationships- Shared beliefs among members
of a culture about what behaviors friends should or
should not perform.

Develop during childhood into adulthood

Volunteer help in time of need
Respect privacy
Argyle and Henderson, (1985)
Keep confidences
Trust and confide in each other
Stand up for them in their absence
Don’t criticize each other in public
Show emotional support
Look them in the eye during conversation
Strive to make him or her happy
Don’t be jealous of other relationships









Social Penetration Theory
 Premise: the development of a relationship is
closely tied to systematic changes in
communication, specifically self-disclosure
 Self-Disclosure: the process of revealing personal
information to someone else
 Two Important Aspects of Communication


Breadth: refers to the variety of topics discussed
Depth: refers to the personal significance of topics
Social Penetration Theory II
 Reciprocity: a process in communication in which a
person matches the other person’s level of disclosure
 Responsiveness- the extend of understanding, caring,
support, and respect demonstrated by the target of
disclosures


Breadth increases more rapidly than depth
Reciprocity is usually matched in initial relationship
formation but later responsiveness is more important
than reciprocity
 Taboo Topics- sensitive matters that, in the opinion of
the partners, may threaten the quality of their
relationship
Self Disclosure and Satisfaction
 Linear Relationship
 Curvilinear Relationship

Too much self-disclosure in the beginning is
predictive of greater dislike by 6 months
Gender Differences:
Same-Sex Friendships
 Male friendships revolve around common activities
 Female friendships are usually characterized by






emotional sharing
Men and women generally talk about different topics
Females disclose more to females than males disclose
to males
Females are more likely to express feelings of love and
affection
Women’s same-sex friendships tend to be closer than
men’s
When it is considered socially appropriate men
disclose more than women do
Women’s friendships involve more social support
Forming & Maintaining Relationships
 Environmental Factors (proximity)
 Individual Factors (approachability, social skills
 Dyadic Factors (self-disclosure, similarity,
closeness & intimacy,)
 Situational Factors (marriage, geography)

Social Network- an individuals array of close
associates including friends and kin relations

May facilitate or impede friendship development
 Network Overlap (% of network members shared)
 Boundary Density (cross links between members)
 Cross Network Contact (communication between each
friend and the other friend’s social network
Johari Window
 Openness
Gender and Friendship
 Women’s and Men’s Friendships

What are the characteristics of each?
 Cross-Sex Friendships

Difficulty with romantic and sexual feelings


48% Ended due to romantic feelings toward
friend or another person
50% of college sample reported engaging in sex
with a cross-sex friend and maintaining the friend
relationship
Social Support
 General Definition
 Specific Definition
 Social Support



Emotional
Cognitive
Behavioral

(Wortman and Dunkel-Schetter (1987) and Goldsmith (1998))
 Perceived Support

Predictor of Positive Outcomes
Social Support
 Social Support from Family and Friends
 Characteristics


Gender
Friend vs Family
 Social Support in Couples
 Characteristics




Gender
Extraversion
Negative Emotionality
Spouse Support has a positive correlation with
marital satisfaction