Bottom line: If you don’t have healthy
relationships in your life you will not live a happy
life.
Healthy relationships include:
-Give and take
-Good listening
-Sticking up for yourself
What is a healthy relationship
• A relationship that….
Promotes self-respect
Encourages productivity
and health
Free from violence and
drug abuse
Is equal
How do you know if you are in an
unhealthy relationship?
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You are always mad at the person
You are always giving up what YOU like
You cry a lot/upset a lot
You contemplate leaving the relationship often but
never do for some reason
• Your friends or family keep telling you it’s a bad
relationship
• You have changed a LOT to be in this relationship
• It just doesn’t feel right
Harmful Ways of Relating in
Relationships
Which type are YOU?
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The People Pleaser
The Enabler
The Clinger
The Fixer
The Distancer
The Controller
The Center
The Abuser
The Liar
The Promise Breaker
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Never be one of these OR date one of these!!
The People Pleaser
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Constantly seeking approval from people
Wants to be liked
Will do anything to be liked (drink, drugs, sex)
“Doormats”
They will never have a healthy relationship
because they don’t respect themselves and
people don’t respect them
The Enabler
• Supports other people’s harmful behavior
(gambling,drinking,drugging,etc.)
• In denial of their friend or lovers problems
and feeds into them
• Will never have a healthy relationship
because they enable the people they are
with to be unhealthy as a result their needs
are never met
The Clinger
• Needy and dependant on others
• Turns to others to make themselves feel
good
• Suffocates the people they are with
• Clingers won’t have healthy relationships
because they drive their lovers away by
being too clingy
The Fixer
• Trys to fix other people’s problems
• Quick to give advice
• Avoiding their own problems to fix others
The Distancer
• Emotionally unavailable
• Busy, Avoiding
• Keep people at a distance to avoid being
hurt
• They won’t have a healthy relationship
because they will never let themselves get
close enough to someone to have a good
relationship
The Controller
• Possessive, Jealous
• Tells other person what to wear, what to do, what
to believe
• Don’t like to share
• It’s not healthy to be in a relationship with a
controller because relationships are supposed to be
equal not one person telling the other what to do
• Too often this one is seen with teenage boys to
their teenage girlfriends 
Match-ups
• The Controller and Enabler
A jealous teen male who demands all his
girlfriend’s attention. She enables this and
makes excuses for him like “he really loves
me and that’s why he wants me with him all
the time”
• The Clinger and the Distancer
Conclusion and Homework
• These don’t just happen with boyfriends and
girlfriends these can be relationships with
your friends or family. Be careful of these
and know which one you tend to be.
• Homework: The Perfect Mate. Get a copy
from me or find one online on my webpage