How to Change Your Mind PHIL-1002-0NM Professor - Douglas Wright December 06, 2024 By: Navjot Kaur (n01652151) " I used to believe people should marry in the same culture, same race until recently but now my belief is interracial marriages are best and everyone should be encouraged to marry out of their race, religion, culture." Description Of Transition: I used to believe that people should marry within the same culture and race for the sake of shared traditions and understanding. Growing up, this belief was ingrained in me by my family and community, who valued cultural alignment in marriage as a way to preserve traditions and ensure compatibility. Marriage, as I understood it, was not just a union of two individuals but a coming together of families who shared similar values and practices. Whenever I saw interracial or intercultural couples, I would wonder how they managed to overcome the obvious challenges of differing values, traditions, and even cuisines, and I often feared they might lose their cultural values in the process. For example, I once came across a couple where the husband was Indian and the wife was Italian. I couldn't help but think about how their children would navigate the complexities of being raised with such different cultural backgrounds. Would they celebrate both Diwali and Christmas or would they have to choose one tradition over the other? How would they feel about their cultural identity, especially as they grow older and realize they don't fully belong to one culture but are part of two different worlds? I thought it might be challenging for their children to reconcile these cultural differences, and wondered how they would maintain a connection to their cultural roots. The idea of losing the richness of both cultures and the sense of belonging to a particular community weighed heavily on my mind. However, my perspective has shifted entirely. I now believe that interracial and intercultural marriages are not only beneficial but should be actively encouraged. My perspective began to shift after moving to Canada a few years ago. Here, I encountered a multicultural society that challenged my preconceived notions about relationships and happiness. Over time, I began to notice that intercultural marriages, instead of leading to the loss of cultural identity, could actually enrich individuals by introducing them to new experiences, traditions, and ways of thinking. I witnessed firsthand how couples from different cultures learned from each other, blending their customs and values to create new traditions that were meaningful to both. I saw how their children, rather than feeling torn between two conflicting worlds, could embrace multiple identities, learn empathy, and gain a broader worldview that could help them navigate an increasingly diverse world. For example, I myself am in an intercultural marriage. My husband and I come from different cultural backgrounds, and we celebrate both of our traditions. We celebrate Diwali with my family and Christmas with his, along with other cultural holidays that are important to us. Explanation of Former Belief: Looking back, I now recognize that my former belief about intercultural marriages was shaped by a variety of cognitive biases. One concept that contributed to this was the "Just World Fallacy" (J.W.F.), which suggests that we tend to believe that people get what they deserve. This fallacy likely led me to think that if intercultural marriages were challenging, it was because they weren’t the right way of doing things. I unconsciously believed that people who encountered difficulty in these relationships might have somehow deserved it because they had chosen a path that was outside the norm. Additionally, Fundamental Attribution Error played a significant role in shaping my views. This bias occurs when we attribute other people's behaviour to their character rather than considering the context or external factors. In the case of interracial marriages, I tended to assume that any challenges faced by these couples were a result of their personal shortcomings or incompatibility, rather than considering the societal pressures, cultural differences, or external obstacles they might be facing. For instance, when I observed a couple from different cultural backgrounds struggling, I attributed their difficulties to their incompatibility or lack of understanding, rather than recognizing that societal judgment or external cultural expectations might have been a significant factor in their struggles. This led me to view intercultural marriages as inherently more difficult. Groupthink played a role in shaping my views as well. Growing up in a community where cultural alignment in marriage was highly valued, I unconsciously conformed to the group's perspective without critically examining alternative viewpoints. This collective mindset led me to believe that intercultural marriages were not only risky but also less likely to succeed. I internalized these views because they were shared by those around me, without considering the diverse experiences and perspectives of individuals who had different cultural backgrounds. Over time, my own experiences began to challenge this group consensus, leading to a shift in my beliefs. Why Might My Belief Have Changed? My belief changed after I married someone from a different culture and experienced firsthand the richness that this union brought to our lives. I began to see that intercultural relationships can indeed be challenging at times, but they also open up new perspectives, create a space for mutual learning, and allow for a deeper connection to both our cultures. This experience made me realize that intercultural marriages don’t necessarily lead to confusion or loss of identity, but instead, they can promote cultural exchange and strengthen relationships. It was during this transition that I realized how deeply personal and emotionally charged beliefs about relationships and cultural identity are. As I navigated the complexities of balancing two distinct cultures, I found myself confronting my own biases and assumptions about what it means to belong to a culture. The desire to feel like a good partner in an intercultural marriage led me to reflect on how much I had internalized societal views on what relationships should look like. In essence, my shift in belief was driven by motivated reasoning which refers to the idea that we tend to search for information that confirms our pre-existing beliefs. Before my marriage, I was inclined to focus on the potential downsides of intercultural unions, because that fit the narrative I had been exposed to. However, once I experienced the reality of an intercultural relationship, I found that I was motivated to see the positive side of this experience and reframe my beliefs. Moreover, I also recognized that my former belief was partly shaped by the Dunning-Kruger Effect—the cognitive bias where people with limited knowledge about a subject overestimate their understanding or expertise. Prior to my own intercultural marriage, I thought I understood the complexities of cultural compatibility and the challenges that intercultural couples faced, despite not having any personal experience in that realm. My simplistic view was that cultural differences would inherently create difficulties that could not be overcome. However, once I lived through the reality of a multicultural relationship, I realized that my previous understanding was superficial. I had overestimated my ability to judge the success of such marriages without having the lived experience to back it up. This recognition humbled me and played a significant role in my change of perspective. Additionally, Affect Heuristic—a mental shortcut where people make decisions based on their emotions and feelings also shaped my former belief. Before my marriage, societal narratives painted intercultural marriages negatively, triggering an emotional response that made me view them as more problematic. I felt concern due to fear of the unknown and cultural differences. However, after experiencing it myself, I saw the mutual enrichment it brought. I realized my initial concerns were based on stereotypes and unfounded fears rather than actual experience. Another cognitive bias that influenced my initial skepticism was the Availability Heuristic. This bias occurs when we judge a situation based on the examples that come to mind most easily. Before my marriage, I often heard negative stories about intercultural marriages, which made me believe those examples were more common than they were. These stories reinforced my fears. However, after experiencing an intercultural marriage myself, I realized that positive experiences were just as common, even though they weren’t as widely shared. Overcoming this bias helped me see the full range of experiences in intercultural marriages and shift my perspective to one of support and encouragement. How Confident Should I Be Now? Today, I feel much more confident in my belief that intercultural marriages can be positive and enriching experiences. However, I am also aware that this belief is still shaped by confirmation bias, as I’m naturally more inclined to focus on the positive aspects of my own marriage and downplay any challenges we might face. It’s important to acknowledge that intercultural relationships, like any relationships, have their complexities. Still, I now believe that they provide opportunities for growth, learning, and connection in ways that I never would have considered before. There is one more concept that I’ve been reflecting on, and that is the Spotlight Effect. This concept suggests that we tend to overestimate how much others notice about us. In the case of my intercultural marriage, I realize that I may have once felt self-conscious about how others perceived my relationship, imagining that people were scrutinizing it and judging us for blending two different cultures. However, I’ve learned that, in reality, people are often far more preoccupied with their own lives and relationships than with observing and judging others. This realization has helped me embrace my intercultural marriage with confidence, knowing that the experiences we share and the lessons we learn are our own. In conclusion, my journey from viewing intercultural marriages as potentially complicated to recognizing their value as spaces of growth and understanding has been transformative. The shift in my beliefs was influenced by my personal experiences, cognitive biases, and the broader social narratives that shape how we perceive relationships. Today, I believe that intercultural marriages can serve as powerful examples of cultural exchange and mutual respect, offering lessons that can strengthen our connections and enrich our lives. The cognitive dissonance I initially felt has been resolved through a combination of personal experience and critical reflection, enabling me to see the positive potential in intercultural unions. Extra Thoughts: Another concept, the Overjustification Effect—when external rewards or pressures diminish intrinsic motivation for an activity or belief also relates to my former belief. I used to believe people should marry within the same culture because of external justifications like preserving traditions, family approval, and societal expectations. These external pressures overshadowed the idea that love, connection, and personal happiness should be the core reasons for choosing a life partner. I valued cultural alignment because it seemed to fulfill these external obligations, even if it didn’t align with deeper, more personal values. After experiencing an intercultural marriage, I realized that external justifications like tradition or social expectations are secondary to the genuine joy, growth, and mutual respect that come from a strong partnership. Letting go of these external pressures allowed me to appreciate the intrinsic value of my relationship and celebrate the unique richness it brings to my life.
