ISABELLE D. RAY DEL VAL GRADE 5 - ORCHID POSITIVE FILIPINO FAMILY ASPECT Pagpapahalaga sa Pamilya (Family-oriented) Filipinos are known for having strong and close family ties. They place high regard and put importance on their family before anything else. They work all day and do all they can to feed and provide for their family. In other countries, when a person turned 18, he/she can live away from his/her family. In the Philippines, they value their family so much that they keep them intact through the years. 2. Respect One of the precious things Filipinos have is that they are respectful. Young, youth, people in all ages know how to show respect and courtesy. Some ways to show them are the use of “Po at Opo”, “Pagmamano” or putting the back of an elder’s hand on your forehead, and calling our older siblings or elders Ate or Kuya. 3. God-fearing Though we, Filipinos, belong to different religious groups, we all have God(Supreme being) in our center. Filipino families sometimes go to church or pray together with their family. 4. Pakikisama (Helping others) Filipinos get along with different kinds of people. They can easily adjust to any situation and are flexible. This trait fosters cooperation, good and helpful deeds. When their neighbors are in trouble, they will help them in whatever they can. They also do not let their family members go through hard times alone, instead, they help each other. 5. Hospitality One of the most popular qualities Filipinos have is that they are very hospitable. When there are visitors at home, they will do a lot of preparations for good entertainment and accommodation so that they will feel at home and enjoy the stay. When there is an occasion at home, there are a lot of food and you can expect to have take-outs (pabalot) after. 6. Utang na Loob (Debt of Gratitude) This trait shows a sense of duty and responsibility. Filipinos know how to repay other people. When someone helped us, we return the favors with goodness. 7. Love and Happiness ISABELLE D. RAY DEL VAL GRADE 5 - ORCHID In a Filipino family, our parents usually cook for us, that’s what one of the ways on how they show their love. Also, through good and bad times, Filipinos always find a way to smile and be happy. Whatever the problem is, we are always reminded that our family’s always there to love and support us no matter what. NEGATIVE FILIPINO FAMILY ASPECT ‘Ako mas matanda’ Filipino family culture revolves around filial piety, wherein elders are honored for their wisdom and experience. This is admirable, but when elders should always have the final say, this can make the younger generation feel unheard, unseen, and unappreciated. We were told as kids that highest respects must be paid to anyone older than you, and for some, this is understood by “showing our love by being strictly obedient, well-mannered, and by keeping the family’s name untarnished by not straying away from the given status quo,” When we inevitably reach that age where we start finding ourselves, speaking up, and expressing our own opinions, our elders may take this as disobedience, ingratitude, and disrespect. Because courteousness and taking care of the elderly are also very important concepts in a Filipino household, disagreement can be misconstrued as hostility. ‘Family comes first’ Our “family first” mentality is noble, but when taken to heart too much, this can put a lot of pressure on children, especially on the panganays (first born). “I’m studying/working hard for my family,” many children may say. There is nothing wrong with this, but there are times when one has to put his/her own dreams on hold, in order to fulfill obligations to the family. “Some children who end up being the breadwinner for parents and siblings may set aside finding a partner and getting married as he/she needs to provide for their family,” You are expected to be so giving, to the point that you end up losing parts of yourself just to meet others’ needs, until you are running on empty. This is a sure recipe for burnout, emotional fatigue, and maybe even resentment in the future. ‘Bakit siya, mas…?’ Filipino parents have the tendency to compare siblings and/or cousins to one another. “Someone is always smarter, more attractive, more talented, makes more money, than the other. Parents say this to their children to inspire them to improve and live up to their potential. However, this is usually more psychologically damaging than effective in motivating children to do well in school and in life,” ISABELLE D. RAY DEL VAL GRADE 5 - ORCHID Those at the short end of the stick usually end up feeling inadequate and unworthy. This may lead to people-pleasing or attention-seeking behaviors, or withdrawing from challenging situations to avoid defeat. This can also lead to poor self-esteem, low selfworth, or unhealthy coping mechanisms to compensate for the feeling of “I’ll never be good enough.” ‘Wala yan’ It doesn’t help that Filipino families also have difficulty tackling issues. Conflicts and problems are usually swept under the rug, only to maybe resurface at the next family dinner or minor disagreement. When the conflict is between one of the parents and the child, regardless of who is at fault, an apology usually has to come from the younger one. Most of the time, everyone pretends that nothing happened, too. “Being honest about negative feelings and experiences inside a Filipino household is a challenge and usually, the one who dares open the conversation about it is seen as a destroyer of peace. In the end, conflicts reoccur and little fights grow deeper roots and may even transform to full blown rifts among family members,” Elders also get some kind of immunity to wrongdoings and toxicity. “No matter what they do, they’ll always be seen as the one who is in the right, which can be unfair. It becomes a bigger problem when there is physical and/or emotional abuse going on in the family,” Some families prefer to stay silent about the abuse happening at home, believing that the family name must be “protected” because family is “forever.” How come bullying at school or work is condemned, but if from home, it is not? This is also why some people have trouble asking for help from others. Sometimes, when a child has a mental health concern, relatives may find shame in having a family member seek professional help as others might think “something is wrong in their family home or genes.” “People find it difficult to reveal their gender preferences and identities, as they fear bringing shame to their families. Family comes first, even when this mindset becomes the detriment of their own mental health,” ‘Utang na loob’ is real In Filipino society, parents take care of their children and children, later on, are expected to take care of their parents. This is a beautiful culture when done out of love and free will but this could be damaging when children are viewed as “investments.” “When children are forced or manipulated to set aside their personal goals and aspirations so they could ‘give back’ to their parents by giving a huge chunk of their monthly paycheck, time, and energy, it becomes problematic,” especially if parents use the “I raised you” card regularly, or hang what they’ve “done for you” over your head, like keeping a scorecard. The feeling of being indebted to a parent – whose obligation was to provide for you anyway – can make for a transactional relationship in the future. The cycle of obligation ISABELLE D. RAY DEL VAL GRADE 5 - ORCHID – “I did this for you, so you have to do this for me” – makes you feel like you have to live for others, and this can breed feelings of resentment and disdain. POSITIVE AMERICAN FAMILY ASPECT Individualism: Individual autonomy, independence, and the pursuit of own goals are frequently valued in American culture. Individual development and chances for selfexpression within families can result from this emphasis on individualism. Diversity and Inclusivity Race, ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation are all topics that are frequently embraced by American families. This sensitivity to different cultures can encourage acceptance, comprehension, and celebration of differences within families. Work ethic: Achievement and a strong work ethic are valued highly in many American homes. This cultural characteristic can contribute to long-term economic stability, individual success, and a strong work ethic. Innovation and Entrepreneurship: American society frequently promotes creativity, taking risks, and starting your own business. These families may be more prone to look for and develop new opportunities. Social Mobility: The American Dream, a cultural idea, stands for the notion that anyone can succeed through perseverance and hard effort. This idea can spur families to work toward a brighter future and more possibilities for their kids. NEGATIVE AMERICAN FAMILY ASPECT Consumerism: Material belongings and riches are given a high priority in American culture, which can be distinguished by a strong consumerist attitude. Financial strain, excessive spending, and a preference for materialism over other values might result from this. Stress and overwork: Due to difficult work schedules and the drive for success, some American families deal with high levels of stress. The work-life balance and family dynamics may suffer as a result. Individualism at the Expense of Community: While individualism can be beneficial for personal development, it can occasionally cause social isolation and a lack of community cohesion as family members prioritize their own interests over those they share. Healthcare Challenges: Families may find it challenging to get and afford healthcare treatments due to the complexity and high expense of the American healthcare system. Income Inequality: Inequality in income in the US can lead to social inequalities that harm many families' chances and standard of living. ISABELLE D. RAY DEL VAL GRADE 5 - ORCHID Lack of Social Safety Nets: The United States has less social safety nets than some other industrialized nations, which can be difficult for families going through financial hardships or crises. Stigmatization of Mental Health disorders: In certain American families, stigma related to mental health disorders persists, which may deter family members from getting care when necessary. Academic Pressure: Students and their families may experience significant levels of stress and anxiety as a result of the pressure to perform well in school and gain admission to elite institutions and universities.
