Perspectives on Human Mind
Males vs Females in Relationships
Relationships, dating and hooking up/casual sex. These are all terms that males and
females are familiar with, especially those on a college campus. Let us further define the term
hooking up. In the article "Hooking up and forming romantic relationships on today’s college
campuses," hooking up is defined as “...a situation where two people are hanging out or run into
each other at an event (often a party), and they end up doing something sexual…” The intentions
behind a hook is none at all, no intention to see each other again, no feelings. Casual sex is the
same, except it is with the same person but no feelings are involved. Friends with benefits is an
example of casual sex. Dating can be defined as two people getting to know each other, not
exactly being in a monogamous relationship. A relationship is where two people are committed
to each other and are working to build a life together.
Now that we have set clear definitions for those terms we move on to communication and
sexual satisfaction. Communication among the sexes can be frustrating. Communication style
depends more on how you were raised. Say for instance, me and my friend had very different
upbringings, where his parents taught him to show his emotions and talk through them, whereas
my parents did not know how to handle their own emotions, which led to them not knowing how
to handle seeing my emotions and that led me to suppress mine. So now I am about to be 21 and
do not know how to communicate what I feel to the point where I bottle my emotions up, then at
some point they all get released at a single moment. My friend has great communication, given
that he is a guy. People experience life differently, so whether they are a man or woman makes
no difference in how they communicate.
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Sexual attraction and satisfaction are big in relationships. Attraction is simply interest.
Not everyone is attracted to the same things. Some can find a personality interesting while others
look at outward appearance. It has been said that men tend to go more for appearances, placing
emphasis on body shape, face structure, how a person is dressed, just physical characteristics.
Women went for more personal qualities, basically what the guy or girl is thinking and their
personality more than physical appearance. Physical appearance still plays a part in a woman's
attraction, just not as much as it does in a man’s attraction. However, both sexes do tend to care
more about personal qualities when it comes to picking a romantic long-term partner.
Sexual satisfaction is where men have an advantage. Men do tend to orgasm more than
women, but that does not mean women do not enjoy sex. Women sometimes draw the short end
of the stick because we always have to give, never receiving anything in return and we do face
more backlash because of how many people we have slept with. We all know about the double
standard that says men are allowed to have as many conquests as they want, while women should
wait till marriage to have sex. That standard has not changed over time and it is still an issue
today.
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References
England, Paula, Emily Fitzgibbons Shafer, and Alison CK Fogarty. "Hooking up and forming
romantic relationships on today’s college campuses." The gendered society reader 3 (2008): 531593.
Nevid, J.. “Sex differences in factors of romantic attraction.” Sex Roles 11 (1984): 401-411.
Sternberg, Robert J., and Karin Sternberg, eds. The new psychology of love. Cambridge
University Press, 2018.
Sungur, M. “Men and Women in Relationships: What Are the Similarities and Differences? Are
Men Really from Mars and Women from Venus?” Sexologies : Revue Europeene De santé
Sexuelle = European Journal of Sexual Health., vol. 17, 2008, p. S40.