I miss you. I’m sorry I’m away today. I will be
back tomorrow. You will find instructions on
the next slide. If you have questions, you
can email me or get Izzet to text me.
 Make sure you do this assignment first. If you
have time afterward, you can do your
personal ad from last class (see the
Relationships Power Point for instructions).
You can put a picture of yourself on it if
you’d like too to make it like a real personal
ad.

Follow the PowerPoint and Answer the
questions from the WORD document.
 You can print it out and write out the
answers by hand our you can type them
out.
 When you are done either give them to
the teacher or email them to me
nicolette.dirks@7oaks.org.

Love is essential for human survival.
Self love is an important basis for selfesteem.
 Eight qualities of friendship include:
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Enjoyment
Acceptance
Trust
Respect
Mutual support
Confiding
Understanding
Honesty

Love includes the eight qualities of
friendship plus:
› Sexual desire
› Priority over other relationships
› Caring to the point of great self-
sacrifice
Love is multifaceted and has many
dimensions.
 Love is based on respect.
 Love is often demanding and may be
neither exciting nor thrilling.
 Rules of attraction are governed from an
early age by socialization.

Love ensures human survival.
 Love prolongs life.
 Love enhances physical health.
 Love improves the quality of our lives.
 Love is fun.

Evidence of romantic love has been
found in 89% of 166 different cultures,
which makes it a “near-universal” human
phenomenon.
 In many countries, arranged marriages
are the norm because respect for
parents’ wishes, family traditions, and kin
group are more important than romantic
love.


Characteristics of romantic love include:
› Lovers find it impossible to work, study, or do anything
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but think about the beloved.
Their moods fluctuate wildly.
They find it impossible to believe they could ever love
again.
They fantasize about how their partners will declare
their love.
They are willing to sacrifice anything for love.
Their love is “blind” and they idealize each other.
They believe in love at first sight, and in fate.

Characteristics of long lasting love include:
› Lasting love is more complicated than romantic love.
› Long term love is altruistic (putting the other first).
› Love changes over time.
› Long term love grows and develops, whereas
romantic love is immature.
› Companionate love is more common in long term
relationships.
› Demographic variables play a role in sustaining love.
-
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“Love
at first sight” is not love.
Infatuation: a passion not based
on reason; being in love with love.
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Grows slowly
Long lasting
Trust
More realistic
More thoughtful
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Happens quickly
Short-lived
Physical thrills
Jealousy
Rush to marry
Biological perspectives argue that love is
grounded in evolution, biology, and
chemistry. The focus is on physiological
responses caused by natural
amphetamines in the body.
 WATCH THE VIDEO but PUT IN HEAD PHONES
if you have them.
 Helen Fischer - Love and the Brain
 Sociological perspectives claim that culture
is key to love.
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
Sociological theories include:
› Attachment theory
› Reiss’s Wheel Theory of Love
› Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
› Lee’s Styles of Loving
› Exchange theory

Attachment theory
› suggests our primary motivation is to be connected
with other people.
› Researchers have identified three attachment styles
and the percent who fit them:
 secure - easy to get close to others and
comfortable in interdependent relationships (56%)
 avoidant - somewhat uncomfortable being close
to others (24%)
 anxious/ambivalent - others are reluctant to get as
close as s/he would like (20%)
Four stages of love
 Rapport - rests on mutual trust and respect
 Self-revelation - sharing intimate information
 Mutual dependency - developing
interdependence
 Personality need fulfillment - developing
emotional exchange and support

Sternberg’s
Triangular Theory of
Love has three
elements.
› Intimacy
› Passion
› Decision/commitment

Different degrees of
the three elements
form different types
of love relationships.
Triarchic Model of Love
Three aspects of love (Sternberg, 1986):
Intimacy: Closeness two people feel
psychologically, how well partners understand
each other.
Passion: The amount of physical/sexual
attraction and romance.
Commitment: The cognitive factors such as the
decision to maintain the relationship.

Lee’s Styles of Loving
› Eros is the love of beauty and usually encompasses a
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powerful physical attraction.
Mania is obsessive love characterized by jealousy,
possessiveness and dependency.
Ludus is carefree and casual love that is playful.
Storge is peaceful, affectionate love that focuses on
mutual trust and respect.
Agape is altruistic love which is self-sacrificing, kind
and patient.
Pragma is practical love which is sensible and
realistic.

Exchange theory
› focuses on the costs and rewards to each
person in a relationship.
› is useful for explaining how love relationships
change over time.
 adolescence: Love is usually intense and selfcentered, romantic love is short-lived
 adulthood: perception of costs and rewards
change, for example, nurturing and patience
may outweigh looks
 later life: moral values, personality, and good
humor may take precedence
Mature love for

others
 Love for children

 Love for the
opposite (or same) 
sex
 Love for someone 
the same sex, older
 Love for same sex 
friend
 Love of peers

 Love of other

relatives
 Love for secondary 
caregiver /
entertainer

 Love of Nurturer

 Self-love

Love for humankind, very unselfish
love.
Unselfish love with ability to love
without expecting anything in return.
B egins with interest in the others
and continues throughout life.
Role model and exemplified what
you wanted to become.
Close friend of the same age and
sex.
Other children of same age.
Love of a relative which brought a
special sense of security.
This person met your needs and
cared for you. Who kept you happy
Your primary caregiver.
Until you love yourself, you cannot
truly love another.

Romantic Love

Sexual Love
› Puppy Love
› The intimate expression of
love.

› A rational, reasoning kind of

relationship between a man
and a woman.
› A love typically found
Altruistic Love
› Selfless love or concern
for the spouse.

Platonic Love
› The spiritual and intellectual
Companionship Love
in good friendships.
Pragmatic Love
love.


Manic Love
› A crazy, possessive,
jealous kind of love.

Self-Love
› An egotistic, narcissistic
kind of love.

Lust and Love
› Sexual arousal is a physiological
response.
› Sexual desire is a psychological
state.
› Sexual desire and/or arousal may or
may not lead to romantic love.