Erykah Greenwood
Professor James McGuffin-Cawley
Energy and Materials
15 December 2018
Revised Paper
For my revision of my paper on Iceland, I wanted to improve on some of the things that
my paper falls short on. One of those shortcomings was the lack of focus. I decided to add more
focus to my paper to help with understanding the ideas that I am talking about. I also wanted to
add more flow to my paper which would help in following along with what I am explaining. I
added in sentences that support the ideas in my paper which should help because it allows the
ideas to feel as though they belong in the paper instead of just being thrown into the paper.
Another shortcoming my paper had was that I did not put my thesis at the beginning of the paper.
I stated my thesis at the beginning of the paper to help with understanding the purpose of my
paper.
I feel that the results of my revision were successful. I believe that I accomplished what I
set out to do. I revised my paper and made it stronger than it was before. I think my flow has
been improved. My paper should be much easier to read now than it was before. All in all, the
revision of my paper has allowed me to improve upon my writing skills and my editing skills.