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Contents
IK'S
E
W
S
Felix f u n d s
•nmer B a l l
rotfcs & any !ote news we might
a b d u c t e d
Bankrupt company burns hole in newspaper's pocket
HAM FOSTER
Insurance a n d genetic testing
lishing c o m p a n y in o r d e r to further his b e l i e f s .
It
w a s the start
of a d o w n h i l l
spiral
for
Jelix n a r r o w l y a v o i d e d a f i n a n c i a l c r i s i s l a s t
M a r c h f i r s t , w h o s e E u r o p e a n a r m finally w e n t bust
week w h e n a major a d v e r t i s e r filed f o r b a n k -
last m o n t h , a n d e m p l o y e e s in s e v e r a l c i t i e s b r o k e
itcy- in a s t o c k m a r k e t c r a s h b e i n g
directly
buted to a l i e n s .
into t h e c o m p a n y ' s o f f i c e s in o r d e r to r e c l a i m p o s sessions and obtain severance pay. A t the begin-
[inting of last w e e k s i s s u e w a s s u s p e n d e d by
ning of this y e a r , M a r c h f i r s t t o o k o u t a s e r i e s of
Union's E x e c u t i v e C o m m i t t e e on M o n d a y 11th
full c o l o u r , f u l l - p a g e a d v e r t i s e m e n t s in F e l i x , but
j>r D e p u t y P r e s i d e n t ( F i n a n c e & S e r v i c e s )
later c l a i m e d that t h e y w o u l d be unable to p a y until
•nne Pollard e x p r e s s e d concern over Editor
M r C l i f f o r d e x p l a i n e d w h y t h e a d v e r t s w e r e about
In C l i f f o r d ' s handling of the f i n a n c e s . M r P o l l a r d
t w o s h a d e s out (although most p e o p l e c o u l d notice
I Exec that Felix c o u l d l o s e up to £ 4 0 , 0 0 0 this
a n y d i f f e r e n c e ) . U n a b l e to d o s o , a n d a w a r e of
;r unless s o m e t h i n g w a s d o n e . T h i s f i g u r e w a s
M i ' s p r o b l e m s , he s o u g h t t h e U n i o n ' s a d v i c e , w h o
I disputed by a n y o n e p r e s e n t ,
.qnd g o o d b y e ffom him
r e c o m m e n d e d he offer them a " s u b -
Mr C l i f f o r d had not b e e n told I
stantial discount". Despite this, M1
;h a d i s c u s s i o n w a s b e i n g |
a r e still b e l i e v e d to o w e Felix a r o u n d
I
D o e s i m p e r i a l hove a geeky,
: . . • • • ; • .
I •
£3,000 for O c t o b e r ' s advertising, and
Mr P o l l a r d ' s m a i n c o n c e r n
Finance Office are pessimistic about
jfie f r o m F e l i x ' s i n v o i c i n g o f
the c h a n c e s of a n y money from the
lertisers, w i t h a p p r o x i m a t e l y
receivers.
,000 of invoicing still to d o at
M r C l i f f o r d d e n i e d t h a t h e w a s at
• time of E x e c . T h e f i g u r e of
f a u l t o v e r M a r c h f i r s t , but d i d a d m i t
0,000, w h i c h
he s p o k e of
ma M r C l i f f o r d
that he h a d got behin d on invoicing
for, was
•
jarently b a s e d o n no f u r t h e r
this t e r m , which he a t t r i b u t e d to " F e l i x
HH|Editor
in S u m m e r S y n d r o m e " ; t o o
Dicing, no a d v e r t i s i n g in t h e
™ m u c h to d o , too many people doing
two i s s u e s , a n d F i n a n c e
— e x a m s . T h e £ 8 , 0 0 0 b a c k l o g of invoic-
fee f a i l i n g t o c o l l e c t a n y of
money F e l i x is o w e d
from
• H B B H m g
King A d o f a , Soulwax & Turin
ew
w a s c l e a r e d during the eight d a y s
Joe Firmage: A l i e n c o n s p i r a c i e s F e l i x w a s s u s p e n d e d , he a d d e d , a n d
Jertising. A l t h o u g h t h e j o b of i n v o i c i n g is d o w n
he e x p e c t e d that Felix w o u l d r e c e i v e all the m o n e y
he Felix E d i t o r , with a d v e r t i s i n g in s t u d e n t p u b -
it w a s o w e d , a s s u m i n g no m o r e c o m p a n i e s w e n t
tions i n v a r i a b l y c a r r i e d o u t o n c r e d i t ,
credit
bankrupt. Exec o r d e r e d that M r C l i f f o r d c l e a r e d
trol is h a n d l e d b y t h e U n i o n ' s o w n f i n a n c e
the e n t i r e b a c k l o g of t h e i n v o i c e s b e f o r e Felix b e
artment. In a m e e t i n g w h i c h t o o k p l a c e l a t e r
a l l o w e d to go to p r e s s this w e e k .
I
Mr C l i f f o r d told Felix staff, " T h i s biz ar r e figure
Felix staff w e r e d e s c r i b e d a s feeling " f r u s t r a t e d "
ased on o b s c e n e i n c o m p e t e n c e from all p a r t i e s
at having a w e e k s ' w o r t h of w o r k go to w a s t e , a n d
olved... it's a s h a m e n o - o n e a s k e d me about it."
all felt t h a t if E x e c o r M r P o l l a r d h a d a p r o b l e m
fe a d d e d , " T h e main p r o b l e m isn't s e n d i n g o u t
with their e d i t o r ' s c o n d u c t , t h e y s h o u l d be able to
Dices for this t e r m - m o s t i s s u e s have b e e n paid
talk to him f a c e - t o - f a c e r a t h e r t h a n m a k i n g d e c i -
with p r o f i t f r o m e a r l i e r t e r m s , w h i c h w a s a l l
sions behind closed doors.
loiced a n d s h o u l d h a v e b e e n p a i d by n o w . O u r
Following the re-instatement
It's weird, it's quirky, it ain't M e n
f l f a i l e r p e d signs off for (no year
with o record-breaking 3 - p a g e
late last w e e k ,
liest p r o b l e m s t e m s f r o m M a r c h f i r s t . "
s h o r t l y b e f o r e E t i e n n e left f o r h i s h o l i d a y s , M r
Barchfirst w a s a m u l t i n a t i o n a l s t r a t e g y c o n s u l -
C l i f f o r d told staff, "It's a s h a m e that Felix, w h i c h
icy c o m p a n y , w h i c h e s s e n t i a l l y p r o v i d e d m a n -
has a l w a y s l o o k e d for t r a n s p a r e n c y a n d f a i r n e s s in
$§^k::k't§0
Thursday, so this week's are o
ment a d v i c e f o r Internet s t a r t - u p b u s i n e s s e s ,
the U n i o n , s h o u l d be t r e a t e d like this. If y o u have a
rough it s u r v i v e d t h e " b u r s t i n g " of t h e "Internet
p r o b l e m with s o m e o n e , y o u s h o u l d be a b l e to talk
ible" f a i r l y i n t a c t , t h e c o m p a n y l a t e r r a n i n t o
to them about it rather than making a l l e g a t i o n s a n d
jlems w h e n its C E O , J o e F i r m a g e , a n n o u n c e d
d e c i s i o n s behind p e o p l e s ' b a c k s . A s well a s m a k i n g
belief that all h u m a n t e c h n o l o g y w a s d e r i v e d
m
j aliens. H e later left in o r d e r to s e t up a p u b -
us m i s s a n i s s u e , it r e f l e c t s p r e t t y b a d l y on t h e
Guru CingagaS got followed
§WAT t e t f e ; on
•range...
..and that's it for now Nighty
whole Union."
F e l i x 121 1 C o v e r i m a g e : T o m B a i l e s s
• Felix • 27th June 2001
News
• n
Saturday 30th
trial t o u r s for
The
the
Hall w o u l d
staff and
and
also
The
"London
like t o
friends to
learn a
There
June,
Open
House"
hosting"
season.
i n v i t e all I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e
students,
take a tour between 9 a m
little a b o u t it's
will b e
R o y a l A l b e r t H a l l is
and
11
history and
architecture.
coffee and
c r o i s s a n t for
free tea,
am
j
all
par
ticipants.
If y o u
w o u l d like t o
t a k e p a r t in t h i s u n i q u e e v e n t ,
c o n t a c t Sally H o w g e g o
telephone
0 2 0
at
7 5 8 9
sallyh@royalalberthall.com
3 2 0 3
R e c r e a t i o n a l
C o l o u r s
Tuesday
above
night
and
port a n d
paid
beyond
represent
manpower
We
we
have
in the
you
name
been
Inevitably,
to
there
A w a r d s
people
within
every o n e
Andrew Jurd
who
may
important thing to
have
Half Commitment
been
Half Commitment
Ellis W i l l i a m s
Half Achievement
Gunaratne
Enrique W i n g
Colours
Colours
Colours
Full A c h i e v e m e n t
Colours
Half C o m m i t m e n t
committee
h a v e tried o u r
wouldn't
a n d , whilst
who
have
gone
b e s t t o e n c o u r a g e , sup-
be anywhere
overlooked
is t h a t y o u
everyone
colours each
and,
no
without the
has m a d e
skill
and
doubt,
some
for their a m a z i n g effort this
M a x i m Steinberg
Helen Jones
Matthew
to
contribu-
with
y o u r v a l u e to a
year:
Half Social
Colours
Colours
Colours
Half C o m m i t m e n t
Colours
Full C o m m i t m e n t
Full A c h i e v e m e n t
Full C o m m i t m e n t
Rajiv C h a k r a d a r a n
will d i s a g r e e
prove
Half Achievement
Nithianandarajah
Barry G a l e
of y o u
Half Achievement
Dawson
Katie Sykes
different
year.
don't n e e d a certificate
Ben O g b o r n e
Colours
clubs
society.
Hemraj
Colours
Half Achievement
Paris D e l i g i a n n a k i s
Colours
Colours
Half Achievement
Mithi Shafiq
recreational
executive,
are awarded
remember
Half C o m m i t m e n t
John Richardson Half C o m m i t m e n t
Luke Rebbeck
the
of you
the other h a n d , sincere thanks to the following
Daniel Carrivick
A n n o u n c e m e n t
i n v e s t s in it's c l u b o r
of their club, only a handful
are
C o m m i t t e e
c o u r s e o f this a c a d e m i c year, w e
member
or
2 2 0 2 .
C l u b s
individuals
impressed with e a c h a n d
o u r c h o i c e s . But, the
Indika
the
Ext
of their c l u b . Whilst w e , the
over the
that e a c h individual
tions to the running
club. O n
homage
please
Colours
Colours
Colours
Full C o m m i t m e n t
Colours
Colours
• 27th June 2001 • Felix •
Ball m a k e s a
profit
\great night was had by most...
IK E D W A R D S
rarly
indications
suggest
that
last
L S a t u r d a y ' s S u m m e r B a l l b r o k e with trajition and m a d e m o n e y - a s well a s providing
.igreat n i g h t ' s e n t e r t a i n m e n t
•As p l a n n e d , t h e a t t r a c t i o n s r a n g e d f r o m
(le J a m e s T a y l o r
Quartet
live
on
the
(ueen's L a w n to last minute s t a n d - i n s D o p e
imugglaz in the G r e a t H a l l . A miniature fairround o f f e r e d D o d g e m s a n d a c o c o n u t s h y ,
thile i n d o o r s h a d a c a s i n o , f r e e i c e - c r e a m
nd a c h e e s y d i s c o , to n a m e but a f e w of the
Itractions.
Following the r e l e a s e of an a d d i t i o n a l 150
ckets t w o d a y s b e f o r e h a n d , C h a i r I d r i s
larding e s t i m a t e s t h a t s o m e 1 3 5 0 t i c k e t s
iere s o l d , w i t h at least an e s t i m a t e d £ 2 , 5 0 0
i go to t h e U n i o n , a l t h o u g h w h e t h e r
this
pes into c e n t r a l f u n d s or to next y e a r ' s ball
iunclear.
Mr H a r d i n g p a i d t r i b u t e to the v o l u n t e e r s
to w o r k e d " t i r e l e s s l y " for up to a w e e k to
'<t up t h e v e n u e , a s w e l l a s s t e w a r d s a n d
Inion s t a f f w h o " w e n t t h e e x t r a m i l e
to
lake the e v e n i n g a s u c c e s s . "
. . . a n d
it's
Q u a d
for
q u i c k
pit
in
a,
to
B e i t
a h e m ,
s t o p
F r i d a y 1st J u n e s a w s t u d e n t s a n d s t a f f t a k i n g
p a r t in t h e P i t S t o p C h a l l e n g e in B e i t Q u a d .
W i t h a large crowd present and fierce compet i t i o n , all that was lacking from the F o r m u l a
O n e a t m o s p h e r e was the p e t r o l .
S p e c i a l c o n g r a t u l a t i o n s a r e d e s e r v e d by t h e
t e a m in c h a r g e of t h e c a r , w h o m a n a g e d to g e t
it t h r o u g h t h e B e i t Q u a d a r c h d e s p i t e h a l f t h e
p a s s a g e w a y b e i n g c l o s e d off f o r p a v i n g - w i t h out p u t t i n g a s c r a t c h on it.
A l t h o u g h t h e t e a m s v a r i e d in t h e i r l e v e l s of
e x p e r t i s e and c o - o r d i n a t i o n , o r g a n i s e r s said
t h a t t h e y w e r e i m p r e s s e d by t h e l e v e l of t e c h n i c a l s k i l l s on d i s p l a y .
• Felix • 27th June 2001
•
News
STAFF NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE OF SCIENCE. TECHNOLOGY, MEDICINE & MANAGEMENT
Distorter
I s s u e 109
27th June 2004
R e c t o r ' s
n e w
office
u n v e i l e d
A V I S I O N for the future- an impression of the Rector's state of the art new
The building was designed by M ' l u d Foster & Partners, who also designed
management suite, made possible by his donation to the College from
That Wobbly Bridge Across The Thames, That Stadium We Can't Afford and
Glaxosmithkline. The new office oversees the main entrance to College,
the B M S . Lord Foster is expected to sell the cigarette packet he scribbled it
allowing all undesirables and speaker salesmen to be silenced discreetly upon
on to the College for an extra £ l m .
trying to enter the College. It also allows for the partial obliteration of the
Meanwhile, Lord Foster is also in the process of designing an open air car-
Mines Building, continuing a project which dates back to the late 1950s.
park in Dalby Court. Estates are in the process o f spending £140,000 on trees
as part of a scheme to transform the area.
Imperial
announces
new
principles
by T O M A N D E R S O N
T H E C O L L E G E has announced its four new principles, the confirmation o f
which w i l l be crucial to its future.
They are: Professor M o Money (Glaxo-Smithkline, formerly o f I C S M ) , L o r d
Steel N . Glass (formerly o f Foster and Partners), D r R. U . Belt-Tightening
(from the private sector) and M r Lucrative Overseas-Fees (from the
Management School).
The Rector, Sir Richard Sykes, also announced that he w i l l be working very
closely with the four new principles. Speaking to a selection o f high-profile
alumni and royalty at last week's commemoration o f the Royal School o f
M i n e s ' second anniversary, Sir Richard said, "These are pre-eminent principles which are respected internationally in work in science, engineering and
medicine... and are the ideal leaders to help the College evolve in this direction."
Sir Richard's speech was the highlight o f a weekend's celebrations to commemorate the second anniversary o f the R S M . Entitled Undermining History,
a packed crowd in the B i l l H . Gates Department o f Physics N o . 4 ( U K ) heard
T M f f f U S T students moved imo the tra»i>i'or»Hi} B e i i Hall t h « « * *
'"
as the project finished m time and <>» budget. T h e four fe»
,c! lir
tales from veteran students about the College's bygone days, when subjects as
obscure as Geology, Materials and Mathematics were widely taught and considered vital for the future o f the country.
^^^^S^^^^^^S^M§i:W^^^M3SM
| w a l l and all tt\m»
E ff f ff f f
:
hav« «atc-tif-the-*n dangling cables. Pictured.
The first studeni u« move hi c x p k « « She e t c h i n g new brick s e w *
A p u b l i c a t i o n of I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e R e s e a r c h L t d - " W e find shit out"
Etienne Pollard
dead
(ributes trickle in as Deputy President killed on holiday
l EDWARDS
l a s t up to a w e e k , s o o n m a d e it
•perial C o l l e g e U n i o n w a s s h o c k e d on
e v i d e n t that s o m e t h i n g w a s s e r i -
p o n d a y a s n e w s c a m e in t h a t
Deputy
ously wrong.
esident ( F i n a n c e & S e r v i c e s )
Etienne
Individuals with Portillaxis are
Hard had a p p a r e n t l y d i e d w h i l e on holida y
c a p a b l e of living well into old a g e ,
New Y o r k .
with
NYPD o f f i c i a l s s a y it is t o o s o o n t o
tell
Lord
Tebbit,
Baronness
T h a t c h e r a n d Ian P a i s l e y
ictly what c a u s e d M r P o l l a r d ' s d e a t h , but
well-known sufferers.
ewitness r e p o r t s s u g g e s t t h a t t h e
v i c t i m s live with the
DP
being
However,
permanent
iparently " d i s a p p e a r e d up his o w n a r s e . "
possibility that an attack can be
One e y e w i t n e s s s a i d , "I w a s w a l k i n g a l o n g
f a t a l - e i t h e r to t h e i r c a r e e r s o r
Ith A v e n u e w h e n I s a w an E n g l i s h g u y look-
their lives. E n t r e p r e n e u r Richard
rj really l o s t . H e w a s w a l k i n g a l o n g
B r a n s o n nearly had his
the
public
«ement w i t h no i d e a w h e r e he w a s , a n d
image
snple w e r e bumpin g into him. T h a t ' s w h e n I
P o r t i l l a x i s . w h i c h he b l a m e s for his
|)lised t h a t he c o u l d n ' t a c t u a l l y s e e w h a t
involvement in the r a i l w a y s , w h i l e
ruined
by a n a t t a c k
of
* going on a r o u n d him b e c a u s e he had his
N o e l E d m o n d s is b e l i e v e d to have
«d inserted into his o w n r e c t u m . "
s u f f e r e d a fatal a t t a c k six m o n t h s
Mr P o l l a r d is b e l i e v e d to h a v e
suffered
m the rare c o n d i t i o n , k n o w n a s PortiIlaxis
ago.
It is b e l i e v e d that during a s e r i o u s a t t a c k of
d e s c r i b i n g him a s " s w e e t , i n d u s t r i o u s a n d a
ce having s t a r t e d at Imperial C o l l e g e t h r e e
P o r t i l l a x i s , the s u f f e r e r is u n a b l e to
srs ago. D e s p i t e its d i s a b l i n g e f f e c t s , H e
their h e a d , w h i c h is graduall y s u c k e d d e e p e r
Felix E d i t o r J o h n C l i f f o r d s a i d "It is unfor-
s still able to c o m p l e t e t w o y e a r s of an ISE
in until the individual literally d i s a p p e a r s up
t u n a t e that M r P o l l a r d s h o u l d d i s a p p e a r up
jree a n d last F e b r u a r y w a s c o n v i n c i n g l y
their own arse. M a n y s e c r e t l y s u s p e c t that
his o w n a r s e s o c l o s e to the e n d of the t e r m .
icted D e p u t y
his spell as D P ( F & S ) w a s r e s p o n s i b l e for the
He will be s o r e l y m i s s e d - but his d e a t h s h o u l d
flaring up of his u n f o r t u n a t e c o n d i t i o n .
s e r v e a s a w a r n i n g to o t h e r s about the d a n -
President (Finance
and
[vices). A t the time, m o s t of C o l l e g e w e r e
extract
w a r e that he s u f f e r e d f r o m t h e rare c o n d i -
T r i b u t e s p o u r e d in f r o m p e o p l e a c r o s s
|n, but his r e p e a t e d a t t a c k s , w h i c h c o u l d
C o l l e g e , with President Hamish C o m m o n
in
good deputy".
g e r s of this c o n d i t i o n . "
M r P o l l a r d w a s 21 w h e n he d i s a p p e a r e d .
brief
DOC SOC BACK
D a v i d T h u r s t o n a n d his entire staff of
fifteen
gery, a n d C o l l e g e m e d i c a l e n g i n e e r s are cur-
was
make
rently w o r k i n g to p e r f e c t a s e n s e of touch for
DocSoc
N o t t i n g h a m a " m i n o r p l a y e r " in t h e field of
the robot, in o r d e r to allow it to d e t e c t direct-
amittee h a v e b e e n r e i n s t a t e d by C i t y &
c a n c e r r e s e a r c h . H e a d d e d that the u n i v e r s i -
ly what sort of t i s s u e it is in c o n t a c t w i t h .
lilds U n i o n for the r e m a i n d e r of t h e y e a r ,
t y ' s a c c e p t a n c e of a £ 3 . 8 m grant from B r i t i s h
[solving them of any b l a m e but having f e w
American Tobacco was
Jctical c o n s e q u e n c e s . T h e m o v e c a m e a f t e r
made without consultation with academic
(in a fairly m e a n i n g l e s s m o v e , the
apparent a g r e e m e n t b e t w e e n A s h A r y a
I
"humiliating"
and
would
"misguided...and
FLOWER GENES
staff."
Dep R e p , w h o originally brought a pro-
>al forward to s u s p e n d D o c S o c ) a n d J a c k
ik, the o u t g o i n g C h a i r .
L o r d S a i n s b u r y , the s c i e n c e m i n i s t e r , last
ROBODOC
week
opened
Imperial's
new
Genetic
T h e r a p i e s C e n t r e , h o u s e d in t h e n e w M D R
A r i D a r z i , a s u r g e o n at S t M a r y ' s h o s p i t a l ,
CANCER MONEY
(Flowers)
B u i l d i n g . The centre will
work
has s u c c e s s f u l l y d e m o n s t r a t e d a robotic sur-
t o w a r d s finding n e w w a y s to use g e n e t i c s to
g e o n on 22 p a t i e n t s w i t h a r a n g e of c o n d i -
t r e a t d i s e a s e s , a n d its £ 8 . 5 m c o s t
Researchers at N o t t i n g h a m U n i v e r s i t y last
t i o n s f r o m h e r n i a s to t i s s u e r e m o v a l . L a s t
mainly from
|ek h e a t e d up t h e d e b a t e o v e r c o r p o r a t e
month, a c a r p e n t e r from B e d f o r d b e c a m e the
Foundation.
first c a n c e r patient in the c o u n t r y to have his
C e n t r e ' s o p e n p l a n l a b s w e r e d e s i g n e d by
ansorship w h e n an e n t i r e c a n c e r r e s e a r c h
M i t s u b i s h i and the
Drawing
on the
came
Wolfson
BMS,
the
m resigned in p r o t e s t at a d o n a t i o n f r o m a
t u m o u r r e m o v e d by a r obot . A l l 2 2 p a t i e n t s
Foster & Partners, described as a "research
acco c o m p a n y . T h e U n i v e r s i t y ' s h e a d of
have had s i g n i f i c a n t l y s h o r t e r r e c o v e r y t i m e s
hotel".
icer r e s e a r c h s a i d t h a t t h e d e p a r t u r e
t h a n t h o s e w h o had u n d e r g o n e n o r m a l s u r -
• Felix • 27th June
of
2001
News
Driving Tomorrow's Technology
Systems and Software Engineering
Excellent salary plus benefits
Automotive Sector London, Kent and France
Delphi Automotive Systems is the world leader in automotive component and systems technology.
We supply advanced fuel injection systems to the world's greatest manufacturers of cars, trucks and
industrial machinery. Our systems contain embedded microprocessors operating with exceptional levels of
real-time performance in severe environmental conditions.
Continuing success in our growing business has opened up a large number of vacancies in our Systems and
Software and Engineering Teams at Park Royal in West London, Gillingham in Kent and Blois in the Loire
Valley, France. We have opportunities for Engineers at all levels within these teams, from new graduates to
specialists with many years of experience.
For all positions you should be educated to degree (or equivalent) level, ideally in engineering, computing or a
related discipline.The work encompasses all aspects of the Software Engineering Lifecycle including requirements
definition, system modelling, structured analysis and design, "C programming and software testing using
automated tools and extensive engine and vehicle test facilities. Previous experience in any of the above and the
ability to deal confidently with customers at all levels are desirable. Any experience in automotive engineering,
or just a keen interest in cars and engines would be an advantage.
We offer excellent training and development opportunities and as part of the world's largest
automotive component and technology company, our career opportunities are unrivalled. Most of the
positions will provide opportunities for international travel. We also offer a first class salary and
benefits package together with generous relocation expenses.
For further information please ring Nicola Pratt on 01453 794410.
You can send her your CV, quoting reference number ICI to the
lk.
Human Resources Department, Delphi Automotive Systems, Brunei Way,
Stonehouse,
Gloucestershire
GLIO
3SX
or
email
nicola.pratt@dds.delphiauto.com
Please state any particular location preference.
A u t o m o t i v e
S y s t e m s
Insurance and genetic testing
to doubt e v e r y o n e at Imperial w e l c o m e d the
European
'ittsburgh f i n d i n g s on A l z h e i m e r ' s p u b l i s h e d
S y s t e m s . W h a t s u r p r i s e d me most w a s the
O b s e r v a t o r y on
Health
a n i n d i v i d u a l ' s s u c c e s s in l i f e , t h i s
Care
made
s e n s e - w e w e r e i n t r o d u c i n g a s e n s e of fair-
larlier this m o n t h . T h e s t u d y identified a pre-
lack of a c e n t r a l E u r o p e a n legal ruling on the
n e s s into an unfairly c h a o t i c w o r l d . A s w e d i s -
ciusly u n c h a r a c t e r i z e d g e n e t i c m u t a t i o n a s
s u b j e c t . W h i l e in H o l l a n d g e n e t i c information
cover more and more genetic factors that
King a s i g n i f i c a n t risk f a c t o r for the d i s e a s e ,
i n c l u d e s family h i s t o r y and c a n not g e n e r a l l y
c o n t r i b u t e to all a s p e c t s of o u r lives this nat-
(hen p r e s e n t a l o n g s i d e o t h e r k n o w n g e n e t i c
be u s e d by i n s u r a n c e c o m p a n i e s , G e r m a n law
ural s o c i a l i s m is and will c o n t i n u e to be e r o d -
Buses. Y e t a s e d i t o r s p i e c e d t o g e t h e r
r e q u i r e s that a p p l i c a n t s r e v e a l all
e d . C o u p l e d with the i n c r e a s i n g l y d e t e r m i n i s -
the
jtest ' s t u d y p r o m p t s c u r e h o p e ' h e a d l i n e s ,
datives of s u f f e r e r s c o u l d be f o r g i v e n
known
t i c w o r l d - v i e w of o u r b l a m e - c u l t u r e , it is a
medical information.
recipe for s o c i a l d i s a s t e r .
for
lishing s c i e n t i s t s w o u l d l e a v e the a r e a a l o n e .
T h e r e is (of c o u r s e ) a m o r e g e n e r a l e t h i c a l
Vhy? G e n e t i c t e s t i n g for a d i s e a s e b e n e f i t s
and
here.
I s t a r t e d with a p i e c e of s c i e n t i f i c r e s e a r c h ,
[roups o t h e r t h a n t h o s e at risk - it b e n e f i t s
S c i e n t i f i c k n o w l e d g e about our s p e c i e s , be it
and noted that e v e n the b e s t - i n t e n d e d s c i -
isurance f i r m s .
g e n e t i c t e s t s for d i s e a s e or p s y c h o l o g i c a l
e n c e will r a i s e p r o b l e m s a n d i s s u e s b e y o n d
philosophical
issue
lurking
e v a l u a t i o n s o f i n t e l l i g e n c e , is a p p e a r i n g in
its o r i g i n a l d o m a i n . T h e r e is s i m p l y no s u c h
onsider t h e f o l l o w i n g s i t u a t i o n , s e t s o m e -
e v e r i n c r e a s i n g a m o u n t s . It a l l o w s us to dis-
thing a s o b j e c t i v e e t h i c a l l y neutral r e s e a r c h .
.here
list
a l s o
in e a r l y
century
Insurers
g g
it's
iritain. Y o u r fa inly
has
a
history
nice
to
think
D u r i n g my t i m e at Imperial I w a s c o n s t a n t l y
t i n g u i s h
b e t w e e n individuais
on
1 1
*
*
k n o w
a m a z e d by how little i n t e r e s t many s t u d e n t s
s h o w e d in the h u m a n i t i e s a n d s o c i a l s c i e n c e s ,
i n d e e d o f t e n in a n y f i e l d s o u t s i d e of
t h e b a s i s of h e a l t h a n d
of
their
o w n . W h e n a s k e d the reply w a s o f t e n not s o
llzheimer's a n d a n e w g e n e t i c t e s t is a v a i l -
a b i l i t y like n e v e r b e f o r e . C o n s i d e r i n s u r a n c e
ible, a l l o w i n g y o u to s e e if y o u too c a r r y the
a g a i n : In the old d a y s w e all e s s e n t i a l l y paid
m u c h a p e r c e i v e d lack of i n t e r e s t , but a lack
nutation. Y o u u n d e r s t a n d t h a t c a r r y i n g t h e
t h e p r e m i u m for t h o s e u n f o r t u n a t e s o u l s w h o
of utility; "I don't think it's relevant to what I
aulty g e n e d o e s not m e a n y o u will get t h e
pop their clogs three d e c a d e s before
do" would c o m e the r e s p o n s e . W e l l ,
lisease, j u s t t h a t y o u a r e m o r e likely to. In
t i m e . N o w f e w of us a r e p r e p a r e d to s u b s i -
my event, it w o u l d be nice to know , wouldn't
d i z e t h e p o l i c i e s of t h o s e w i t h a high c h a n c e
nsurers a l s o t h i n k it's n i c e to k n o w . W h a t
their
think
again.
of d y i n g early, e s p e c i a l l y if t h e y k n e w the risk
Ed Sexton
f a c t o r s b u t f a i l e d t o d e c l a r e t h e m to
and former editor of
the
is a freelance
journalist
and
writer
Felix.
Ed@existent.co.uk
insurer.
eally b u g s t h e m is w h e n y o u k n o w a n d t h e y
lon't. T h i s is p e r f e c t l y u n d e r s t a n d a b l e ; if y o u
A similar
iere to be c a r r y i n g the m u t a t i o n o n e of the
example
hypothetical
irst things y o u w o u l d p r o b a b l y do is up y o u r
education. S u p p o s e as
fe a s s u r a n c e p o l i c y . Insurers are quite right-
t h e c e n t u r y d r a g s on w e
comes
from
1 s u s p i c i o u s of the p o s s i b i l i t y of f r a u d , a n d
l e a r n h o w to e v a l u a t e a
» will a s k y o u to r e v e a l t h e r e s u l t s of a n y
child's natural
jenetic t e s t s y o u have t a k e n , just a s required
a b i l i t y to l e a r n . P r i v a t e
s c h o o l s will begin to list
bra p l e t h o r a of o t h e r m e d i c a l t e s t s .
the
Ihe C a t c h - 2 2 s i t u a t i o n that d e v e l o p s is s i m i -
test
other
among
entry
ar to t h e H I V - i n s u r a n c e d i l e m m a . If y o u
ments.
o b j e c t to t h e i r
»ill have no i n f o r m a t i o n to g o o n , e x c e p t for
little
isking t h e u s u a l l i f e s t y l e q u e s t i o n s . N o
Jritish i n s u r e r will f o r c e y o u to t a k e g e n e t i c
tests. C o n s e q u e n t l y a v o i d b e i n g t e s t e d a n d
our p r e m i u m s a r e likely to s t a y at their curent s u p p o s e d l y low level. O n the o t h e r h a n d ,
lou want to k n o w , don't y o u ? W h e n it c o m e s
:o filling up t h e p o l i c y a p p l i c a t i o n , h o w e v e r ,
f r a u d if y o u f a i l
to
ieclare the result: T h e A s s o c i a t i o n of B r i t i s h
insurers' p r e - 1 9 9 9 p o l i c y s t a t e m e n t
reads
People w i s h i n g to t a k e out n e w life i n s u r a n c e
their
require-
aven't b e e n t e s t e d an i n s u r a n c e c o m p a n y
IOU r i s k c o m m i t t i n g
mental
Parents
will
talented
darlings
being
placed alongside
kids
w h o , l e t s f a c e it,
never
going
to
are
learn
much. A n d for the first
t i m e t h e y will h a v e s c i entific
t e s t s to
ISpm-aom
prove
t h e i r p o i n t . H o w l o n g in
t h e f a c e of s u c h k n o w l -
F
r
e
e
p r o m i s e to e d u c a t e a l l ,
f
r
o
m
of w h a t e v e r ability?
B
edge
can
the
d
r
i
n
k
o
f
A
r
c
h
e
r
'
s
o
f
state
a
c
a
r
i
p
m
d
i
f
r
5
o
m
p
m
7
a
p
m
n
-
d
1
a
m
jolicies will c o n t i n u e to be required to report
ihe r e s u l t s of a n y g e n e t i c t e s t s " . T h e r e is a
Our entire welfare sys-
real c h a n c e t h a t p e o p l e will a v o i d p o s s i b l e
tem
>arly d e t e c t i o n of a d i s e a s e s i m p l y to k e e p
i d e a of
;heir p r e m i u m s d o w n .
helping the
is b u i l t
the
upon
Bouncey Castle Water
Pistols
the
fortunate
unfortunate
B a l l o o n s Fum E n t e r t a i n m e n t s
through selective taxatone of this is particularly n e w . I w a s r e m i n d -
t i o n . In t h e
;d of t h e d e b a t e a f t e r r e a d i n g a n a r t i c l e in
century,
twentieth
when
it
lSE M a g a z i n e ( L S E ' s alumni rag), w r i t t e n by
h a r d to i d e n t i f y
Vina D i x o n a n d D r Elias M o s s i a l o s from the
factors a s s o c i a t e d with
• Felix • 27th June
2001
H|
After 7pm: FREEIents card
was
genetic
bacardm
£2,00 iCU, £2.50 others
iCU
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T U E S D A Y
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t u r n u p ! t u n a ini chill o u t !
Dust off your flip-flops & put on your
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Details may be changed
at any time, ffl
o d i t o n a l
E d i t o r i a l
S t a f f
I ImIG TO CJO
inances. U n f o r t u n a t e l y that's all I've heard
deadline, while accounting can be put off until the
about for the past w e e k after our mild financial
next time I'm free, but then it's time to start the
F
Editor
John Clifford
r sis last week.;; Crisis is maybe a bit strong, but
it's not a s bad a s it s o u n d s . K n o w i n g that o u r
liajor adver i \
i||ould sleep, have a social and family life- which
heve all suffered for fairly shit wages S h o w s corn-
iirtle sooner may have helped though.
Your beloved student newspaper may have lost
•j few t h o u s a n d pounds in t h e dot c o m bubble
jurst, but it s e e m s r e t r i e v a b l e - : : w h a t really
:
Don't get m e wrong. J love this job, but in any
t h a t g i v i n g b o t h f i n a n c i a l arid m a n a g e m e n t
/as how the
Onion's Exec happily discu;
suspended
ble Both me and Da v e m a d e accounting screw-
elix and talked about suing m e for money our
ups, and it wouldn't be Will's fault if he did next
advertisers owe us, without even asfeng me for my
'•:•',; ii •
jpinton or defence O K , the
of staff is fanly small compared to the size of our
Unless, of
ft
D r e w Nienhuis
Music
A n d y Houldsworth & j
Restaurants
J a n a Natkunarajah
Science
Matt Kaplan
Sport & C a r t o o n s
icemed, but
someoc
Jonathan Matthews
Film
Tom Bailess I
piofessional organisation it would b e recognised
annoyed me o v i | ttijs whole
:
Books
lain Angus
& J o White
Graphic D e s i g n . . J u s t i n van der Toorn
Photography
J o n a s Lindsay
Proofing
Lucy Penman
to sort out;
:he finances, but I have effectively been single-
'
W r i t e r s
.e-.:;;.':--" '".-=!,
:
andedly managing a compan y with a £100.000
J | W e l l , e n o u g h of m e & F e l i x I w a s h o p i n g I
w n o v e r , a n d I think I've d o n e a n alright j o b .
wouldn't have to do something like that for my last
Eventually .H
' , ,
,;d out and
William Foster, Rik Edwards,
M a t t Kaplan, Tom Bailess,
J o n a t h a n M a t t h e w s , Alisdair W r e n ,
; to
p " i f e c t l y honest, but I hope
Stef Evans, lain A n g u s
•jet on with my life- which
that whatever I d o I work with!
Katherine Dyer-Perry,
sill be nice.
people a s supportive, hard
danced H d
the people I've worked with
I matters, I c a n | believe
:
this y e a r
is my last issue, find
T h e r e ' s a list o f
e end of the y e a r , i t ' s
people I want to thank, but I
ally s c a r y h o w fast the
a l r e a d y k n o w i t ' s not c o m
:
iar's g o n e , E a c h y e a r
plete, s o time for the o s c a r
3t seems to be s o much
night thing
ster. th
e
«'°#
& J o h n Clifford
5 c; mqsl'iof;
"Turning to non-financial
s
«, and taking this to its
gica! extreme i'li be dead
Felix, The Portacabins,
Prince C o n s o r t R d ,
e v e r s u p p o r t i v e family a n d
London, S W 7 2 B B
flatmates for the
/ice and
Internal tel: 5 8 0 7 2
patience Ditto tl
snrtters
External tel & fax:
r>::.
ne
nd, I'm sure t h e r e ' s an
J o n a s , J o h n & Gareth
Thanks to my
amazing
five " y e a r s " . N e v e r
P h o t o g r a p h e r s
amc
0 2 0 7594 8072
friend Ii
^isettse
E-mail: felix@ic.ac.uk
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> well a s
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;
id doing the business side (advertising manage•p:
Felix is produced for and on behalf of
Imperial C o l l e g e Union M e d i a Group
of apologies to people
office is
always a state, sorry
se6 a
moody, sotry for t h e S
len 1 get
Units B 2 & B 3 , Hatton S q u a r e ,
earned away and do
f we've
16 - 16a Baldwins G a r d e n s ,
i t irtten-
London E C 1 N 7 R J
:ntia) bit
Felix is a registered newspaper:
i talking
I S S N 1040 - 0711
and is printed at M C P Litho Limited,
•.••'•][. sA;,|.^.' i\
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jwe a lot
• ,••;.'
d be no
Copyright © Felix 2 0 0 1 .
... • ' - • i
| : e - r p f-c a i d , v.ho I " d v e to admit I've never
The opinions
t; ifthiS
a professional organisation I would be out on
essarily
t Felix • 27th June 2001
are sole-
those of the Editor, Felix or
Imperial College
feat at accounting- work on each issue has to be
h e in a very snort t i m e s c a ' e with immovable
expressed
ly those of the authors, and not nec-
Union
Johnny
Editorial
0)
Thankyou and goodbye
A
s the s u n s t r e a m s into my o f f i c e I r e c a l l
the last t i m e I s w i t c h e d my o f f i c e fan on
(during J u l y last y e a r ) , and I find
s i o n s n e x t y e a r o n h o w it d e a l s w i t h the
by Hamish Common
President, Imperial College Union
CCUs
w r i t i n g m y last e v e r c o l u m n f o r F e l i x - m y
in the light of this n e w faculty struc-
ture.
myself
it'. T h i s is r i d i c u l o u s ! Ev
L a s t of a l l , I w o u l d like to a c k n o w l e d g e the
if y o u w e r e n e v e r
| r e s i d e n t s of L i n s t e a d H a l l , which I
f i r s t o n e b e i n g a f e w y e a r s a g o in
guise
h a v e s p e n t f ar t o o little time in this
as ' W e s t m i n s t e r E y e ' . It's the e n d of
y e a r , e v e n t h o u g h I a p p a r e n t l y live
N o v e m b e r 1 9 9 6 in my f o r m e r
a n o t h e r y e a r for the s t u d e n t p o p u l a -
t h e r e : t h a n k s n a t u r a l l y g o e s to the
tion at Imperial and for s o m e the e n d
w a r d e n i n g t e a m a n d r e - a p p s includ-
of
s o m e of
our
time
at
ing C h i e f S a r a h , C l a r e of Bradford,
Imperial
Scary
College.
Clare,
Industrious
W h e n I first s t a r t e d at the U n i o n
Less
scary Emma,
B a b s , R e b e c c a & Mischa
k n e w I w a s t a k i n g o v e r an o r g a n i s a -
t h e I m p o s t e r , A l i s t a i r , S a n d y and any
tion of i m m e n s e v a r i e t y a n d c o m p l e x -
o t h e r s w h o s h o u l d n ' t t a k e offence I
ity w i t h c l u b s a n d s o c i e t i e s s p a n n i n g
can't r e c a l l t h e i r n a m e s . T h a n k s too
an u n p a r a l l e l e d b r e a d t h of a c t i v i t y . I
to my landing n e i g h b o u r s T o m , Andy
a m still learning a b o u t o t h e r a c t i v i t i e s
a n d S a c h a , p l u s B r a d a n d Rik who
w e do t o d a y . I r e m e m b e r a c a r e f u l l y -
effectively
p h r a s e d s e t of g e n e r a l p o l i c i e s f r o m
helped re-invigorate
my e l e c t i o n c a m p a i g n including bring-;;
f u t u r e of t h e
ing d e c i s i o n - m a k i n g c l o s e r to
w h i l s t t a k i n g up m u c h of the Linstead
stu-l
d e n t s , n e g o t i a t i n g c o n s t r u c t i v e l y but f i r m l y
with the C o l l e g e a n d c o n s i d e r i n g the U n i o n ' s
role in a m u l t i - c a m p u s C o l l e g e . I a d m i t
I've
d o n e s o m e , had o t h e r s do s o m e for m e , a n d
done less
o n
f f
n
a s p e c t o f m y job this
n
Union
w e r e t h e r e to c o n s p i r e a g a i n s t s t u d e n t s - I
Rector,
can't b e l i e v e s o m e o n e w o u l d t a k e a s e n i o r
Sykes. Despite
job in a u n i v e r s i t y w h o d i d . H o w e v e r , I have
fears
learnt that t h e r e a r e a v a r i e t y of i n d i v i d u a l s
m a n y s t u d e n t s that he
within the C o l l e g e from those who s ee the
w o u l d a t t e m p t to t u r n
s t u d e n t v i e w a s integral to how t h e y o p e r a t e
it i n t o a s t u d e n t l e s s
to t h o s e w h o k n o w b e t t e r than us m o r e lowly
research
b e i n g s on what is b e s t for us. T h i s has b e e n
have f o u n d S i r R i c h a r d
gender-specific
G o o d luck a n d g o o d b y e !
Hamish
you
without
the
Sir
initial
expressed
by
institute,
I
s o m e t i m e s illuminating and s o m e t i m e s frust r a t i n g . It is s a t i s f y i n g to s e e a C o l l e g e - w i d e
cerned with
p o l i c y c h a n g e a s the result of y o u r input on
issues and as interest-
con-
student
w h a t ' s b e s t for s t u d e n t s , l e s s s o w h e n p e o -
ed
ple c o n s i s t e n t l y r e f u s e to d i s c u s s a n i s s u e
as
in q u a l i t y
a f f e c t i n g s t u d e n t s w i t h y o u in t h e h o p e of
r e s e a r c h . A n d he d o e s
he
is
teaching
in
quality
plan to k e e p us all here
the
d a t e , or b e c a u s e t h e y can't i m a g i n e s t u d e n t s
for
could make a useful contribution.
future! The new faculty
structure,
indefinite
though
plans
the
a r e n o r m a l l y v e r y k e e n to h e l p s t u d e n t s in
original
t r o u b l e a n d , c u r i o u s l y e n o u g h , o n e of
the
done without meaning-
m o r e d e p r e s s i n g a n d s u r p r i s i n g a s p e c t s of
ful c o n s u l t a t i o n with us
this y e a r has b e e n the u n w i l l i n g n e s s of m a n y
should certainly bene-
s t u d e n t s to a p p r o a c h t h e U n i o n w h e n
fit t a u g h t a n d r e s e a r c h
were
a r e in t r o u b l e . T h e r e w a s e v e n a s t u d e n t liv-
students
in t h e
long
ing in my o w n halls of r e s i d e n c e w h o did not
run.
Union
will
a p p r o a c h me for a month
because she
i t s e l f n e e d to c o m e to
a s s u m e d 'I w o u l d be too b u s y t o o d e a l with
some courageous deci-
The
*?
new
Richard
to be g e n u i n e l y
Union
on
to t a l k of t h e C o l l e g e
the C o l l e g e . I don't and n e v e r did think t h e y
they
if
bandwidth
profession
It w o u l d b e d i f f i c u l t
mentioning
H a v i n g s a i d that, the C o l l e g e a n d its staff
network
my faith in the
medical
anatomical research.
problems
d e n t s , or e v e n
w a n t to c h a t .
p o s t s is the a m o u n t of time n e g o t i a t i n g w i t h
later
v^ouj
with C o l l e g e , landlords, staff, other stu-
a n d its s t a f f
p r e s e n t i n g s o m e f a i t a c c o m p l i at a
our
c l u b s a n d s o c i e t i e s t h e U n i o n is a l w a y s t h e r e
Sometimes lluminating
and s o m e t i m e s
frustrating
y e a r w h i c h s e p a r a t e s it f r o m o t h e r
icicu
to h e l p w h e n y o u ' r e d o w n , h a v e
99
o t h e r s
A
k e e n on u s s o c i a l s c e n e 01
l i v e d t h e r e a n d together
into r ufcber
F i n a l l y
a n d
g o t
w a n t
to
to
g r i p s
m a k e
w i t h
s o m e
y o u r
s t u d i e s
c a s h ?
Union catering is looking for staff for the next
academic year to work in dB's and DaVincis'
catering outlets.
There are variable hours available depending on
your timetable. A l l training is provided so no
experience is necessary. Benefits include College
contributory pension scheme and holiday pay
entitlement. Your meal is provided during each
shift worked.
To join the friendly team in union catering either
drop by DaVincis or phone the catering manager,
Nicky Slavid, on 020-7594-8080 for more
information.
iCU
IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
Work foryourself. Work at t h e Union...
...and make a difference to your social life.
27th June 2001 • Felix*
FED UP MISSING OUT
ON ALL THE EXCITEMENT?!?
FOR ICU RAG!
W a g i n g
w a r
in
Imperial
b o r e d o m
NEAREST RECRUITING STATION
2 8
t
All
h
J u n e ,
8 p m
w e l c o m e ,
n e w
i d e a s
-
U n i o n
e s p e c i a l l y
...
visit
D i n i n g
w e b
H a l l ,
e d i t o r s ,
1
s
t
F l o o r ,
R a g
w w w . s u . i c . a c . u k / r a g
M a g
f o r
B e i t
Q u a d
e d i t o r s ,
d e t a i l s
Image Issues
IC is often perceived as being full of geeky guys. How true is this, and what effect is it having?
Felix asked these girls what they thought...
Laura, Medicine
TOM BAILESS
When
W
hat is the first thing you think of w h e n
you
think
a l s o s h o w that s o m e t h i n g is lacking , like you
of
IC,
do
you
think
don't have any social life at all.
t h e r e is a p r o b l e m w i t h i t s i m a g e ?
I'd s a y y e s . T h e r e is a lack of f e m a l e s , apart
Has
from in medicine. P e o p l e know about that lack
on y o u ?
r e s e a r c h ? O r just a place full of g e e k y g u y s ?
of females, and I think they draw their own c o n -
N o t really, no. I think it d o e s mean that the
These things may be true, and I have no prob-
clusions from it.
medics tend to club together. That is a bit of a
lem with the first two, but the last is a worry.
I think t h e r e are m o r e g e e k s at
people talk about IC? W o r l d - c l a s s tech-
n i c a l i n s t i t u t i o n ? C e n t r e of c u t t i n g
edge
Imperial,
IC's image had any consequences
problem, but I don't want to be a part of that.
W h e t h e r it is an issue d e p e n d s how seriously
people t ake it. I've had the g o o d - n a t u r e d rib-
D o e s it m a t t e r t h a t I C h a s t h i s i m a g e ?
bing from f r i e n d s b a c k h o m e , but that's just
Y e a h , to a certain extent. I think people do go
annoying, rather than a major p r o b l e m . W h e n
elsewhere for social events. There is a stigma
you start to think that is how IC is perceived by
attached to Union events.
the majority, it m a k e s y o u sit up. W h a t surprised me is how almost every university guide
Are
from The Guardian
geeky?
to Virgin
Student
all make
there
any
girls
you
would
call
some reference to it. Felix has set out to find if
Not here, I have to say. I do know some, but I
p e o p l e w e r e w o r r i e d a b o u t this i m a g e , w h a t
haven't met a n y at IC. It's v e r y hard to label
effects it has on them, and whether indeed they
someone.
thought it w a s a bad thing at all. W h e n thinking
about who to ask, w e thought it best to start
Do you think
with people who are being most unfairly tagged
spread?
the
i m a g e of
I C is w i d e -
with the "geeky guy" s t i g m a , that is, people w h o
N o , not really. I think it's more of an internal
are most definitely not geeky guys. W h a t ' s the
thing. P e o p l e just think that things are better
o p p o s i t e to a g e e k y g u y ? W h y , an o u t g o i n g ,
elsewhere, when really it's not.
confident, young woman of course!
Katie, Biology
W e found some volunteers for this task and
asked them what they thought. To give a face to
W h a t do you think about the generalisa-
the voice, we decided to take some pictures to
tions that people make about IC?
go with it. I hope that these contrast with typical
There is an enormous mix of people here. There
ideas of the IC geek.
are p e o p l e f r o m c o u n c i l e s t a t e s , and I know
people who have millionaire parents. O n e of my
because you have to be quite intelligent to get
here, and also w e don't have any a r t s subjects.
Do you think that d e f i n e s a g e e k ?
That, and s o m e o n e w h o k e e p s t h e m s e l v e s to
t h e m s e l v e s , and doesn't socialise , people w h o
keep their heads d o w n . It's really nothing to do
with being good at your work. It's like they don't
k n o w how to c o m m u n i c a t e , t h e y are just
o b s e s s e d with their work. I think s o m e people
resent others like that, b e c a u s e they are good
at their work
Do you
think
being a geek
always
has
negative implications?
I think it could have p o s i t i v e i m p l i c a t i o n s - it
could mean that you are a really hard worker,
you're d e d i c a t e d to your work, but that c o u l d
Feature
27th June 2001
• Felix •
friends here is a single mother. A l l of the g e n -
and draw c o n c l u s i o n s from that. If they w e r e
eralisations are just untrue.
actually at the uni, they would s e e that there is
s o much more to IC.
Do y o u t h i n k t h e r e
is a n i s s u e o f I C ' s
image o u t s i d e o f c o l l e g e ?
People at IC are a lot more single minded than
at o t h e r unis a n d want to d o w e l l . W h e t h e r
Ithink it is a bit of a problem. The first impres-
they w e a r Iron M a i d e n T-shirts and tatty white
sion that a lot of people get is that of loads of
trainers is neither here nor there. It's an exter-
guys, a n d I s u p p o s e that s o m e do look geeky.
nal perception that these people are g e e k s .
What i s a g e e k ?
Elaine, Medicine
Someone w e a r i n g v e r y c o n v e n t i o n a l c l o t h e s ,
What
with their hair gr eas e d back, wearing g l a s s e s . I
a n d is t h a t i m a g e
always thought a geek w a s just a s t e r e o t y p e ,
I don't think it should matter what image s o m e
do y o u think of the IC's image,
relevant?
but I have s e e n a f e w people round w h o really
one else has put on your university. It should
lit the image, just visually though - I don't know
only matter what you perceive yourself a s . If
them. T h e y lock themselves in their rooms, and
you're happy with yourself and what your per-
play with their c o m p u t e r s for hours. B u t gener-
sonality's like, it shouldn't really matter what
ally people a r e fine. A l l my friends a r e really
o t h e r p e o p l e have labelled y o u a s . If p e o p l e
outgoing.
[Do y o u t h i n k
it
is a p r o b l e m ?
Is it a
oegative t h i n g ?
It would be a problem if it w a s the majority, but
it is such a tiny minority, a n d I think y o u get
them at a n y university.
is a s s o c i a t e d with g e e k s .
Do y o u t h i n k t h a t t h e e x t e r n a l i m a g e o f
IC h a s a f f e c t e d
you?
Are you a geek?
Not directly, a n d I don't think it would, bec aus e
think that the a c a d e m i c reputation of Imperial
(laughs)
outweighs a n y other image. They think "good
away in my r o o m .
W e l l , m a y b e . . . I don't lock m y s e l f
college", I don't think it's t h e first thing that
Is it a n e g a t i v e
they think of.
image?
I don't think it i s . If it m a k e s us s e e m hard
So w h y d o y o u t h i n k a l l o f t h e s e
lal u n i v e r s i t y
guides have honed
w o r k i n g a n d intelligent, I think that's a g o o d
exter-
thing.
in o n
ibis?
lone person just w a n d e r e d round the U n i o n ,
Heather, Medicine (again!)
Ihey probably would s e e more guys than girls
What do you feel about
h o w I C is p e r -
ceived by the public?
I think it's a s h a m e that w e do have that image,
but I think p e o p l e s h o u l d realise it's not like
that, e s p e c i a l l y b e c a u s e there a r e more girls
c o m e up to me a n d s a y "you're from IC" a n d
c o m i n g into IC now. T h e medical s c h o o l has
therefore it must mean a certain thing, I would-
c h a n g e d that s e x ratio quite a lot. W i t h a n y
n't let that bother me.
science subject, there is always that reputation
Do people judge you?
s o m e p e o p l e , b e c a u s e they don't want to be
A couple of people have said, "Oh you're at IC,
classified a s such, on the other hand, w e are a
it must b e really unnerving , there's s o many
lively bunch, and science isn't just about read-
males." W h e n you c o m e in the first year, it is
ing books.
of g e e k s a n d nerds. I think that could offend
kind of s t r a n g e at f i r s t . T h e r e a r e s o m a n y
b o y s , but g r a d u a l l y it's O K , it's not t o o b a d .
Have
B o y s make great friends, if not better friends
from being a s s o c i a t e d with IC?
you had negative
experiences
than girls.
S o m e t i m e s people think I am nerd, but that's
It's natural that a certain proportion are going
just ridiculous. I think it's more of a male thing
to be "electronically gifted" [geeky], shall w e
to be honest. I have female friends w h o c a m e
say. W i t h s o many guys, I don't think that pro-
here to do engineering and chemistry, and they
portion is a n y worse than at other unis. A l s o ,
weren't put off by the image.
being a university of s c i e n c e a n d technology,
Feature
you do expect people to be more into sciencey
W h e r e does the image come from?
things, which is perhaps one of the things that
I think it's p r o p a g a t e d by rugby player t y pes
• 27th June 2001 • Felix •
w h o go out drinking, and pretend they never
socially. W h e n I first c a m e here, it w a s a bit
work for exams. Those sort of people piss me
hard to find people with similar interests to me.
off. T h e y think y ou' r e s a d j u s t b e c a u s e y o u
I've m a d e l o a d s of f r i e n d s through
work. W e ' r e privileged to be here, so peopl e
t h o u g h , s o it's j u s t a m a t t e r of m a k i n g an
who think it's not cool to work for your degree
effort.
are the ones who are most likely to label peo-
RockSoc
In the last couple of y e a r s it has got a lot
ple g e e k s .
better. The number of girls on my course has
doubled.
S o do you think
it's m o r e of an
internal
problem?
There
M e d i c s tend to be rude about others like engi-
mately,
neers or p h y s i c i s t s , saying "Oh they're so
I C ' s i m a g e is a s m u c h t o d o w i t h
geeky", it's ridiculous, especially at our age, but
tude
they do.
the
are
many
it
views
s e e m s that
than
any
real
peoples' views
here,
the
issue.
that
but
ulti-
problem
of
atti-
F r o m a l l of
are
expressed
here, one thing's
f o r s u r e is t h a t
said "Oh my G o d , it looks like a factory where
are
of
they keep all the people working in their labo-
a i m of
rat orie s unde r the street", s o w h e n I c a m e I
c u s s i o n of t h e s e i s s u e s , a n d I h o p e the
W h e n o n e of my f r i e n d s c a m e here, s h e
lots
of
this
opinions
was quite relieved to find people were normal.
ways
feature
here
looking
is to
have
there
it.
The
promote
dis-
gone
at
some
way
t o w a r d s that aim.
I think if s o m e o n e w a s shallow enough to
be put off by the i m a g e , then t h e y p r o b a b l y
Kelly, Physics
What
do y ou
think
about
IC's
geeky
image?
I admit that I have complained about the number of geeky guys. There is blatantly a lot, but
there are a lot of other people too. In general, I
don't think people are completely geeky. They
do have different interests.
W h a t is a g e e k ?
I think a g e e k y guy is s o m e o n e w h o is c o m pletely o b s e s s e d with their subject, and doesn't think a b o u t a n y t h i n g e l s e . I k n o w p e o p l e
who, in b e t w e e n lectures, they talk about lectures. They c o m e down the Union and they talk
about lectures. That's not a bad thing. It just
s e e m s there's not m u c h more to t h e m apart
from what subject they do, and what
they
know about that subject.
I C ' s i m a g e c o u l d put p e o p l e off c o m i n g
here if they think it is going to be really boring
wouldn't get on very well here anyway.
A
BIG thank
volunteered
Could
the
geeky
image
be s e e n a s a
you
to
to
all
help out
girls
who
with this
the
fea-
t u r e , a n d f o r b e i n g s o m u c h f u n to w o r k
with. I hope you all liked the
good thing?
photos!
The word geek is a derogatory word, so I don't
think it could ever be used in a positive way.
Sincere
N o w that I've been here for a while, I forgot
t i n g u s b o r r o w t h e i r v e r y e x p e n s i v e kit,
about that whole geek thing, and reading s o m e
e s p e c i a l l y to A l e x for s e t t i n g
of the uni g u i d e s reminded me of it. W h e n I
P h o t o S o c h a s a full s e t of s t u d i o equipfor
gratitude
to
P h o t o S o c for
u s e by t h e
let-
it a l l u p .
was applying to unis, it did say stuff like that
ment
about IC, and now I think it is such a pile of
as a brand new, custom-built
darkroom
poo, b e c a u s e it's just not true, and people here
from
also
know that. I think it is important that peopl e
r e d u c e d p r i c e s on c a m e r a c o n s u m a b l e s .
next
year.
m e m b e r s , as well
Members
outside IC realise how unrealistic it is, s o that
If y o u w o u l d l i k e t o j o i n , c o n t a c t
people aren't put off coming to IC, and so that
this
girls in particular aren't put off coming here.
Otillie.Dyke@ic.ac.uk.
•)
Feature
year's
president
get
Otillie,
at
• 27th June 2001 • Felix •
Union Colours
2000-2001
Half Colours
David Rolls
Alexandra Cope
Gareth Morgan
Andrew Heeps
Idris Harding
Babatunde Olanrewaju
Kash Akhtar
Barry Edmonstone
Leanora Lang
Christina Fell
Mary Parker
Claire Press
Mustafa Arif
Dan Preston
Oliver Barnes
Daniel Rose
Sarah Hughes
David Francis
David Orme
Outstanding Service
Emily Procter
Ben Hawkins
Florence Crick
David Roberts
Jim McCusker
David Stinson
Lorna Robinson
Dinesh Ganesarajah
Lucy Tipton
Gus Paul
Nima Jalali
Jason McKee
Rebecca Padfield
Melody Lam
Richard Tang
Paul Trompeteler
Richard Taylor
Sen Ganesh
A w a r d
Rosemary Beckett
Sabeen Tufail
Union Fellowships
Sarah Bluhme
Iain Campbell
Simon Torn
Ismail Jalisi
Steve Little
Lian Doble
Toby Wilkinson
Stephanie Dawson
Tom Gray
Zayd Armanzi
Union Distinguished Fellowships
Chris Jackson
Full Colours
Andrew Gallagher
President's
Anjlee Sheth
Lome McEwan
Caroline Knight
Mandy Hurford
Catherine Pinch
Mustafa Arif
David Roberts
Stephanie Dawson
A w a r d s
EXPERIMENT D E C L A R E D FAILURE
C o m m o n w a s e l e c t e d P r e s i d e n t . It is n o w
Imperial C o l l e g e S c h o o l of M e d i c i n e has been
believed that S e n did not stand for the presidency
experimenting with a new brand of medical educa-
at this time as he came to some sort of agree-
S U C C E S S BREEDS S U C C E S S
tion over the past three years. The course is one
ment with Hamish. In order to be eligible to stand
Following the huge success of Idris Harding and
of the very few in the country where students get
this year S e n has spent the last year at Imperial
his team's Imperial College Summer Ball college
into hospitals and see patients from day one. The
taking an M S c c o u r s e which has involved him
has given the go-ahead to another massive student run event to be held in the college. The
was available in a superior form for free.
first three years are spent concentrating on the
repeating large chunks of the fourth year of his
touchy feely aspects of medicine such as commu-
undergraduate degree. The year was not entirely
R C S U ' s Beer festival was this week given the go-
nication skills and empathy. Medical learning dur-
effortless though, he is thought to have done one
ahead by head of catering John Foster on behalf
ing these first three y e a r s is relatively limited,
or two modules for the first time. However, as one
of the College , who were particularly impressed
much is expected to be self taught, and is exam-
by the quality and speed of the cleanup following
ined by trivial multiple g u e s s q u i z z e s , a n d of
the Summer Ball - the Great Hall was back in its
course the infamously ridiculous computer based
examination room format by nine o'clock Sunday
statistics test with online help. Following the entry
of the first wannbe doctors to undergo this course
into their clinical training I C S M have realised that
the approach taken to their education in the first
A mostly libellous column. Kevin is a
random entity who knows nothing about
nothing
morning, just five hours after the event closed.
The B e e r Festival has in the past been one of the
largest and most enjoyable R A G events, and will
provide a popular and highly visible core to RAG
three years has left them ill-prepared from the
of his 'very g o o d f r i e n d s ' is t h o u g h t to h a v e
activities next year. The event, which will feature
more traditional second half of their training. In an
already completed these coursework-heavy
the drinking of a huge variety of exotic Beers,
incredible move course directors at the medical
courses this may come in useful.
Ciders and Largers will be held on the afternoon
school have decided to accept that their experi-
and evening of W e d n e s d a y the 6th March. People
ment has failed, and are set to make changes to
INSTANT N O T E S
wishing to get involved in the event should con-
the current course to give students a more rigor-
It is likely that by the start of next year course
tact Stuart Davis, stuart.davis@ic.ac.uk
ous, traditional education in their formative years
notes from MIT will be available online for a wide
at the school. To save face it is planned that these
variety of subjects that are taught at Imperial. The
changes will be introduced gradually over the next
s c h e m e , known as M I T - O p e n C o u r s e W a r e , the
While Kevin has not yet found and excuse to stay
three to five years.
scheme is designed will serve as a model for uni-
around college next year the Felix editor-elect Will
L O N G TERM ASPIRATIONS
A N D FINALLY
versity dissemination of knowledge in the Internet
Dugdale did made a hustings pledge that should it
a g e . In the C h e m i s t r y d e p a r t m e n t staff have
be submitted, Mishmash will continue. Fantastic.
ICU's new President S e n G a n e s h has been plan-
already been looking at MIT's offerings, and were
ning his entire life around getting the sabbatical
worried by the possible implications. O n e lecturer
(Yes. Great. So long and thanks for all the fishy
position for the last few years. S e n completed his
was wondering how they could justify the tuition
stories, Kev
undergraduate degree in the year in which Hamish
cost of their c o u r s e s now that lecture material
ARE YOU UP TO
g r e e n rumen
STANDARD?
W o r k next term with Union Ents
There are employment opportunities in all areas of
Ents, Rag Cloakroom and Advertising. Hours are
arranged to suit, depending on your timetable.
There will be an Introduction & Training Day on
Friday, September 28, 9am-4pm. Come and meet
the team and find out more. Lunch will be provided.
For more information please either drop by the Union
reception, or phone on 020-7594-8060.
Make a date in your diary for the Union Training Day,
Friday, October 28, 9am-4pm. W e look forward to
working with you!
iCU
IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
Work for yourself. Work at the Union...
...and make a difference to your social life.
•i
Columns
M a k e
-Ed)
F r i e n d s
a n d
I n f l u e n c e
P e o p l e
S h o r t t e r m positions available
during Freshers' Week.
Staff are needed to issue /CU Union Cards and
London Transport Cards during the first week of the
autumn term, October 1-5. Hours will be arranged
to suit depending on your new timetable.
For more information please either drop by the
»'CU reception, phone Michelle Lewthwaite on 0207594-8060 or e-mail m.lewthwiiite@ic.ac.uk with
your contact details for now and during the summer.
/ CU
IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
W o r k f o r y o u r s e l f . W o r k a t t h e Union...
...and make a difference to your social life.
• 27th June 2001 • Felix*
F e l i x
_
Ml complaints should be
oddressed to the Editor. If no
satisfactory reply is received,
contact ICU Exec via the Union
President
S U M M E R AT A L L
Y
«,,
t i m e to a c t u a l l y s a y s o m e t h i n g
will go back to her old s a l a r y a s
a r e p l e a s e d to i n f o r m y o u t h a t
p o s i t i v e - the ball w a s excellent !
soon
left
you have been a c c e p t e d for a
entertainment
( J e f f e r y A r c h e r ' s L a w of F l y i n g
p l a c e in t h e O l d F e l i x E d i t o r s '
p l e a s i n g , a n d the
P i g s ) . A n d , is it a c o - i n c i d e n c e
H o m e . Y o u wil l be c o l l e c t e d o n
l i v e m u s i c w a s s e n s a t i o n a l . I'm
that they're all g o i n g , o r have t h e y
J u l y 3 0 t h by t w o of our h e a v i l y
sure that other
being S y k e d ?
armed
T h e d i v e r s i t y of
was especially
correspondents
will i n f o r m us of
Dear Ed
as
everyone
has
organisational
s h o r t c o m i n g s (there w e r e a few)
M a y b e Felix c a n get an a n s w e r ,
but I e c h o the v i e w of many pun-
b e c a u s e I'm b * * * * e r e d if I c a n .
t e r s t h a t it w a s a
I j u s t w a n t e d to
congratulate
representatives
and
e s c o r t e d to the H o m e , w h e r e y o u
will be t a k e n for your c o m p l e mentary lobotomy before
being
t a k e n to y o u r n e w r o o m , w h e r e
s u p r e m e l y fun e v e n i n g .
M
y o u will be p e r m a n e n t l y held .
Ihe s u m m e r ball t e a m on putting
on a b r i l l i a n t
b a l l t h i s y e a r - it
W e l l , I'll k e e p t h i s s h o r t . G o o d
I'm going to miss this kind of let-
This p r e c a u t i o n is in o r d e r to pre-
was t h e b e s t o n e I've b e e n t o o
luck to e v e r y o n e w h o is g r a d u a t -
ter- Sherfield,
vent y o u f r o m b e c o m i n g a d a n g e r
md thought that the w h o l e event
ing this y e a r .
what's
going
on?
to s o c i e t y a n d is q u i t e s t a n d a r d .
»as g r e a t .
...AND FINALLY
Yours,
Yours
As the ball w a s a s e l l - o u t a n d
Dear M r Clifford.
extra t i c k e t s w e r e m a d e a v a i l a b l e
Asanga Gunatillaka
is well, s u r e l y the ball has m a d e
Elec Eng. Yr 4
some p r o f i t t h i s y e a r .
Myself,
Surprisingly,
too, a r e c o n c e r n e d a b o u t
it off, two letters
any profit w o u l d go. W e
where
thought
no letters
job
Idris and
that a n y profit s h o u l d be put into
the
Union
a summer
go
about
whom
towards m a k i n g next y e a r ' s ball
things
-Ed
just a s
fund
and
Home Secretary
your tenure as Felix Editor. W e
ind n u m e r o u s p e o p l e I've s p o k e n
ball
David Blunkett
C o n g r a t u l a t i o n s on c o m p l e t i n g
of praise.
co. And
Staff
slagging
and
Good
of
course
volunteers-
w e V e heard
great
This is the last issue of this a c a d e m i c year, but letters for the first
issue of next y e a r should be r e c e i v e d by the end of S e p t e m b e r - drop
into the office or email f e l i x @ i c . a c . u k . L e t t e r s may a l s o be used in the
o c c a s i o n a l S u m m e r publication Helix. L e t t e r s may be edited for length
but not g r a m m a r or spelling.
g o o d (if not b e t t e r - is
this p o s s i b l e ! ! ! W e l l , f a s t e r b a r
SHERFIELD WATCH
service in t h e j c r w o u l d ' v e b e e n
better, but t h a t ' s m y o n l y c o m -
D e a r Felix.
plaint!). H o w e v e r , w e h a v e t h e
nasty s u s p i c i o n t h a t t h e
union
nay j u s t c r e a m a n y p r o f i t s
put it
towards
funding
and
some
trap union e v e n t , like that d i s a s trous c o m e d y n i g h t
with
that
Woke f r o m the fast s h o w .
Sherfield watch update.
anyone explain exactly
Can
what's
o c u r r i n g in a bit of S h e r f i e l d lots
of us u s e - R e s e a r c h C o n t r a c t s ?
In J a n u a r y t h e r e w a s 8 p e o p l e
working
in it. N o w 6 of
them
h a v e left or are l e a v i n g . W e ' v e
w o n d e r if w e c o u l d g e t
some
feedback on this point - what do
other p e o p l e t h i n k ? W o u l d
been told
that its being
run
from t h e m e d i c a l s c h o o l by L y n n
the
C o x , w h o I s e e has got the extra
onion p e o p l e listen to w h a t s t u -
t i t l e of ' D i r e c t o r of R e s e a r c h
ients w a n t e d
C o n t r a c t s ' . T h e r e m u s t be m o r e
it p u t
towards
(doubtful)?
D i r e c t o r s around S h e r f i e l d than
[
t h e r e a r e f l i e s a r o u n d a p i l e of
s * * * on a hot d a y .
Yours slightly c o n c e r n e d
Louise
W i t h a new title goes
Dear S i r ,
more
m o n e y ( N e i l H a m i l t o n ' s L a w of
M a n a g e m e n t ) - just for taking on
The S u m m e r B a l l 2001 w a s for
8 extra people who have
many p e o p l e ( i n c l u d i n g
myself),
t u r n e d into 2. M a g i c . That's what
in i m p o r t a n t
to
I call a good pay deal.
larewell
chance
say
b e f o r e leaving Imperial.
cappuodno
now
espresso
More
m o n e y a n d l e s s staff; c a n w e all
Mter four y e a r s at IC, I a m writ-
have one like that
ing to Felix for the first a n d last
m a y b e I'm w r o n g a n d M r s . C o x
lFelix i27th June 2001
l
tea
please.But
Letters
Albums
Scuba Z
Preston School of Industry
The Vanishing American
All This Sounds Gas
Family
(Domino)
(Odd Records)
P
T
his album is a musical pick 'n' mix
reston S c h o o l of Industry, featuring guitarist S c o t t Kannberg, are
most likely to appeal to fans of Kann-
of big beat, funk, house and just
burg's former band, Pavement. In the
about anything e l s e you can think of.
s a m e mould as Pavement, they have a
Eccentric, eclectic and, at times, a lit-
quirky guitar-based sound, with whim-
tle bit m e s s y , this is an a l b u m that
sical v o c a l s and a strong backline.
never disappoints.
The overall feel of All This
F r o m t h e c r a z y funk of /
h o u s e c r o s s o v e r of Sharon
Stone's
e a c h t r a c k is d i f f e r e n t
n e v e r r e a l l y s o u n d s like s o m e t h i n g
you've heard before - the
wondering where it'll go next.
K
ing
Adora
management
meeting:
Whilst featuring the singles Cali-
e d g e to t h e m u s i c hinting at some-
Boss
of record
label: " S o we've
thing a bit more "serious". The songs
final track "I will irritate you". N o
are e x p e r i m e n t a l , but maintain a dis-
need, M a x i . You're good enough
tinctly poppy appeal.
at it already.
argued that S t e v e M a l k u m u s is doing
I
signed the band. They've got to
A n d when they drop in a few
found that all of the tracks are equal-
r o c k l i k e Iggy P o p on c h e a p
electronic beats here and there to
fornian Paranoia
and Instant Whip,
- p e r h a p s o n e to l i s t e n to o v e r the
s u m m e r months - but there is also an
(Superior Quality Recordings)
album
keeps you on the edge of your seat,
a s a result the music is fairly uplifting
Vibrate You
and
ly appealing in their own way, but not
o r a n g e s q u a s h and E - n u m b e r s .
prove their modernity, y o u just
to e v e r y o n e ' s t a s t e . For e x a m p l e , if
They need tunes, arrogance and
k n o w that t h e r e w a s s o m e o n e
the V e n g a b o y s is as leftfield a s you
some guitars. They've got to have
from A & R lounging in the studio
like your music, don't bother with this
sex appeal."
s a y i n g " Y e a h g u y s , it'll s o u n d
album (in fact, if that is the c a s e , how
KA Manager:
" O K . C h e c k "rock-
great, trust me" as the
can you live with yourself?!).
ing". C h e c k tunes and arrogance.
stood there looking unsure.
T h i s is a s e r i o u s l y t a s t y
little
album and is definitely worth getting
your hands o n .
Check
appe....oh
Hard Hop Superstars
(Xtrahard)
T
and Operation
don't
get
the
label: " O h w e l l .
wrong with this C D . Every song
does have big shiny sharp hooks
of record
C o l d c u t , G r o o v e A r m a d a and
one will notice."
a r e never b a n a l . The s o l o s are
tion of artists who have contributed to
mm
A n d you have King A d o r a .
never cheesy. There is not a song
W h o d o t a k e a f t e r M S P , but
on the disc that you would really
without the intelligence. They've
w a n t to f a s t f o r w a r d
through.
got the tunes though. The debut
N e v e r t h e l e s s it is e a s y to tell
album from the Birmingham four
which songs were, are, or shall be
o v e r a y e a r a g o . B u t if y o u ' r e
g o r i e s . They're not the M a n i c s .
Blade with their hands
going to "do" arrogance, you real-
They're not M a n s u n . But they're
in the air moments, and the surpris-
ly have to be the dog's testicles
the next best thing:
ingly laid back P u m p Up
t o g e t a w a y w i t h it. S i n g l e s
for those who can't be a r s e d to
Bionic and Suffocate
are slabs of
the M a n i c s
r e a d M a r x a n d f i n d out
what
to most of this, there is the underpin-
pop rock that will have the kids
Willem de Kooning used to con-
ning fact that everything is actually
moshing in the aisles , but M a x i
template. (Oh, and buy the spe-
too gimmicky, a little insipid and a lit-
Browne's whine, which is at first
cial edition: extra tracks and
tle unoriginal for this to actually be a
alluring, really begins to piss me
videos. You can show it off when
good album. At least they're
off a f t e r t h e 4 t h or 5 t h
K A have sold out and boast about
Frequency
th rare c u t s from the likes of
w ;
R e d S n a p p e r , I w a s expecting some-
Beats
track
which r e p l a c e s a c h o r u s with a
Patrick
(Nuphonic Records)
thing pretty special from this compila-
"power pop" or " p u n k / g i a r r T ^ a t s -
Oxide and Neutrino.
The London Xpress Album
that you could catch a shark with.
singles: the songs easily fall into
not
Hammond
The lyrics (between the whines)
piece is polished, and you can s e e
However, whilst you would d a n c e
Mark
met
why N M E put them on their cover
Nation...
this kind of thing better but still, this
one is worth a listen.
some goths down a dark alley. N o
this
here are g o o d t r a c k s on
album, like Rock Da Funky
However,
It c o u l d be
impression that there is anything
Street Preachers who've
Public Domain
fuck.
band
We'll dress them like early M a n i c
Boss
Patrick
sex
They're pug ugly."
Sounds
Gas is one of a band having fun, and
King Adora
to the guitary / acid
Get Out Much
House,
Don't
whining scream. Maxi says on the
the L o n d o n X p r e s s R a d i o show over
the last year. It is certainly eclectic, and
almost every track refuses to fall into a ,
specific
dance
music
category.
However, a broad theme of downbeat |
electronica emerges, with hints of techno, dub and jazz creeping in occasional-
ly. S a b r e s of P ar adis e , David Holmes |
and even Bjork are also featured.
U n f o r t u n a t e l y , t h e r e are no real
stand-out t r a c k s , which could explain
why they haven't been released before.
S o m e of the s t u f f d o e s sound quite
experimental and progressive, but like
all experiments, it doesn't always produce good results. There is some good j
stuff here, but I'd only recommend this I
"owning rare early stuff'.)
Chris
to completists who already have a lot of I
these artists' material.
Tom
•27th June 2001 • Felix •
Live!
Sou I wax
Swell
DJing @ 333 club
Everybody wants to know
Soulwax? A d d i n g to the fact they do
(Beggars Banquet)
records, they also perform D J s e t s .
Recently they hit an E a s t London
It's still called Swell, but the band is
llub and burnt the place with their
now reduced to his singer/compositor
irenzied tunes for two hours. A
David Freel (as written in the sleeve
jroovy slap that turns sullen and reti-
"guitar, keyboards, vocals and other
;ent o n e s into bouncing d a n c e r s .
crap"), helped on half of the songs by
Passion is on their side, the two
the drummer Rey W a s a m . This sixth
brothers, coming all the w a y from
album (some songs of which are from
Belgium, look like hard c o r e music
the recent E P "feeds") sounds like all
bns that play their fav tunes. That
Swell's stuff: an acoustic background,
jives a mix of 8 0 s and 9 0 s hits; s o m e
transpierced by electric loops, with this
songs you, at least I, last heard a g e s
particular voice like a haunting lament.
igo, when big hair and stripes w e r e
But it's darker and with less detach-
/ery fashionable, on your big broth-
ment: the songs are good, but their
;r*s turntable just before, in a brazen
hypnotic construction now sometimes
nove, throwing the record through
Turin Brakes
sounds repetitive, guitars are rougher,
[he window, stopping his music dicta-
the singing deeper... This general
torship. Ears don't believe it, S
Supported by David Kitt @ U L U
blackness looks like a disillusion -
Express , Vanilla Ice, M i c k a e l
except on a few songs, on "like pover-
lackson with the theme from Billy
lean acting like the s h o w leitmotiv,
ven Pump up the Jam from
ty" or "... a velvet s u n " the magi is still
A
ccording to the band them-
efficient.
before the main event began.
s e l v e s , this w a s a return
Turin B r a k e s kept a p a c k e d
home for Turin B r a k e s , their first
audience involved, interested
tie body can't stop s t o p rythming o n ,
headline gig in the U K for s o m e
and excited throughout, playing
to face the band for almost ten years,
;ven on hits hated 10 y e a r s ago.
t i m e . A b l y s u p p o r t e d by t w o
tracks from their recent L P The
and that's a shame as these lo-fi and
charmful tunes can be captivating.
echnotronic, s o g o o d . That's music
The reduction of the team is maybe
due to the world indifference that had
Soulwax s u c c e e d to make soun d
other impressive - though slight-
Optimist and some new material
»ol really old fashioned stuff. Recent
ly strange - a c t s , they put on a
too. Even though the set lasted
"Everybody wants ..." is a pleasant
jtles are not forgotten, since
s h o w w o r t h y of a h o m e c o m i n g
for over an hour, the band main-
album and I'll give it three points, but I
tedonna Music
celebration.
is mixed with Daft
'unk. The D e w a e l e brothers love
S u p p o r t c a m e from David
tained interest with variation in
highly recommend the excellent 41 and
all the k e y m u s i c a l a r e a s . T h e
Too Many Days Without Thinking ones,
nixing, very funny w h e n D J i n g , on •
K i t t , a y o u n g Irish s i n g e r a n d
bassist, drummer and keyboard
and hope that Swell will one day earn
he verge to jump and frenetically
guitarist. H e w a s a c c o m p a n i e d
player occasionally sat out, leav-
the little success they deserve.
lance on their d e c k s . Rest your feet
by a w o o d w i n d p l a y e r w h o w e
ing the two original band mem-
Wore they're back in L o n d o n .
could hardly hear (actually I
b e r s to p e r f o r m s o m e of t h e
don't think his mic w a s t u r n e d
s l o w e r , more r e f l e c t i v e t r a c k s ,
on) and a bearded guy who sat
notably the excellent Futureboy.
c r o s s - l e g g e d on the floor, playing
a
miniature
it
was
V/A
the
keyboard.
band's m o s t familiar track, the
Strangely, the percussion w a s
recently released single The
Brassic Beats Vol.1
all recorded - maybe the drum-
Underdog (Save M e ) , which
(Skint)
m e r c o u l d n ' t m a k e it. D e s p i t e
p r o v o k e d the biggest a u d i e n c e
This is a real C l a s s i c Originally
s o m e o v e r l y long t r a c k s with
r e a c t i o n . L e s s p r e d i c t a b l y , the
released in 1996, Brassic Beats intro-
e x a g g e r a t e d e n d i n g s a n d per-
live v e r s i o n w a s e v e n
duced the world to the Skint sound,
better
h a p s t r y i n g t o o h a r d to s o u n d
than the single - this w a s much
like David G r a y , Kitt and his col-
appreciated.
l e a g u e s c a m e up w i t h a t h o r -
A great
o u g h l y p r o m i s i n g s l i c e of folkpop.
W e w e r e then t r e a t e d to a
completely
• Felix • 27th June
Predictably,
unexpected
but
pioneers of Big Beat. The compilation
has some great, timeless classics, such
live b a n d , Turin
B r a k e s ' rise to f a m e is s u r e to
as Everybody
needs a 303 by Fatboy
Slim and Bentley's Gonna Sort You Out
continue. They c o m e highly rec-
by Bentley Rhythm A c e . A l s o mixed are
ommended.
Midfield General, Req and Cut Le
Dave
Edwards
Roc.Not all of the tracks are amazing,
totally enjoyable performance
but what is here is definitely worth a
f r o m an A f r i c a n d r u m
purchase.
2001
troupe,
Frequency
Tom
9
Singles
by Celine & Elsa
Goldfrapp - Utopia Genetically
Limp Bizkit - M y Way
full v i d e o . . .
• • • # #
Enriched (Mute)
T h i s is r i c h , a s t o t h e w a r m v o i c e o f A l i s o n
Dina Carroll - Someone Like
G o l d f r a p p a r e a d d e d s e v e r a l layers o f s y n t h s
0
I
A l t h o u g h y o u a l l p r o b a b l y k n o w about thii
a n d v i o l i n s . T h e s o p r a n o b a c k i n g v o c a l s in
You (Mercury)
r e s p o n s e of male choirs a r e a m a z i n g , but this
band, I've g o t t o review their new single, whicH
M a y b e y o u c a n offer this s i n g l e to y o u r 1 0 -
is utterly crap. T h e climax of fat, heavy,
t r a c k isn't a s s t r o n g a n d s t ir r in g a s t h e f i r s t
year-old sister w h o has already all the
s p i r e d , s k a t e - p u n k a s ugly a s F r e d Durst pi
single
W h i t n e y H o u s t o n d i s c o g r a p h y . If y o u don't
f a c e . L e t ' s f a c e it, h e c a n n o t even rap, j i
Human.
c
u s
have that kind o f s i s t e r , don't think about it
s q e a l his m i s e r a b l e lyrics. I'm only interestec
anymore.
why the hell he always put his hands on his will)
Neil Finn - Last to Know
(Parlophone)
u n i n
when dancing.
3LW
Witness - You are all my owrj
An acoustic guitar a n d a nice voice - that
m a k e s a g e n t l e s o n g . It's inoffensive and for-
No
More
(Baby
I'ma d o
invention
tunately short e n o u g h not to m a k e this poor
Is this the w o r d s o f a d e s e s p e r a t e fan or a lone
melody boring. N e i l Finn has d o n e b e t t e r with
ly l o v e r ? T h e s o n g d o e s n ' t s o u n d grim, bui
his previous single.
rather lively a n d optimistic, in a kind of REM
#)#)###
Automatic
for the people
p e r i o d vocals anc
melodic style. Perfect t o listen o n the road for
Faithless - We Come One
the b e a c h , o r maybe you can find a more funky
(Cheeky)
1 «
I g u e s s it's a g o o d club hit, o n e of t h e s e that
will m a k e y o u m o v e a n d d a n c e until d a w n . I
still believe though (old f a s h i o n e d , I know)
that this kind of rhythm is boring at home, s o
where's t h e point in buying it?
Manifesto - JBN: A l l I Want
C u t e s l i c e o f R n ' B p o p t r i f l e . T h e s e "3 little
w o m e n " (how p a t r o n i s i n g is that?) d o a nice
Jinrai - Someplace else
line in ditzy p o p with a s i d e helping of street
J a z z y sirocco that w a r m s up the mood, the jaz
c r e d . This s o n g isn't t o o b a d , a n d t h e girls put
touch remains soft, a flut and strings spice upj
on a great p e r f o r m a n c e .
the s o u n d . Dominating vocals, reminding me o i
• • • • •
J a m i r o q u a i , m a k e all the s o n g . Pretty nice tdj
l i s t e n t o , m a y n o t b e j a z z a v a n t g a r d e (o
maybe a s I'm far from being an expert), some!
Spacek - How do I move?
s o u l - R n B i n f l u e n c e s , d e a d l y e f f e c t i v e for aj
(Island)
• • • « •
lounge flavour.
This piece of c a l m R n ' B is prefect to chillout
after the beat h a m m e r i n g club.
D o w n t e m p o a n d soft v o c a l s reign f o r a real
treat; this m a k e s a c h a n g e from all c o m m e r -
(Underdog)
cial rubbish R n ' B y o u c a n h e a r o n t h e radio.
S a m e style a s a b o v e , but t h e s e d a n c e b e a t s
E v e n if it's not r e a l l y m y t a s t e , I d e f i n i t e l y
are uninspired and bloody annoying, even
enjoyed it.
a f t e r a f e w drinks, and t h e a g g r e s s i v e d e s i g n
• • • • •
of t h e s l e e v e d o e s n ' t help. B u t it i n c l u d e s a
• 2 7 t h June 2001 • Felix
TICKETS:
£*2
i n
£ 3
a t
VENUE:
MDH
a d v a n c e
t h e
d o o r
t Thursday 2 8 June 8 t i l l a t e I
t h
screen
Shrek
Another Life
Director: Andrew Adamson
our h e r o s a n n o y a n c e . T o rid his
Director: Philip G o o d h e w
Starring: Cameron Diaz,
h o m e off all t h e s e i r r i t a t i n g a n d
Starring:
badly b e h a v e d l a y a b o u t s (I m e a n
M o r a n and loan
Mike
M y e r s and Eddie Murphy
Natasha
Lee,
M o r a n plays P e r c y , a totally differNick
Gruffudd
best known in L o c k S t o c k and Two
the wolf from Little R e d riding
W
hen I s t a r t e d
doing
film
r e v i e w s for F e l i x , the o n l y
H o o d is s m o k i n g in his b e d ! ) he
m u s t find t h e p r i n c e a w i f e .
Off
g o e s with his goofy donkey
c o m p u t e r animated feature film
Shrek
w a s Toy S t oy. S i n c e then, a whole
companion
new g e n r e has s p a w n e d with the
Murphy)
to
(voiced
find
by
the
Eddie
enviable
ent role from the charact e r he is
S m o k i n g B a r r e l s . However, he fails
A
nother Life is yet another Brit
to f i n d his f e e t a s m u c h as the
film, which unlike the vast
o t h e r a c t o r s , a n d a l o n g with a
m a j o r i t y is a c t u a l l y p r e t t y g o o d .
rather daft accent, can be consid-
H o w e v e r , it is not b a s e d on drug
ered
d e a l i n g in S w a n s e a or
N o n e t h e l e s s he p u t s across the
anything
at
best
adequate.
advent of big flashy computers and
Princess Fiona ( C a m e r o n Diaz) s o
else
but
main point of his character, that of
the
are
t h a t the p r i n c e c a n turn S h r e k ' s
Edwardian England. W h i c h is why,
b e i n g a c h a r m i n g t e e n a g e r who,
r e s p o n s i b l e for both Toy S t o r i e s
s w a m p back to its original tranquil-
unfortunately, no-one except your
t h r o u g h his old a g e becomes an
a n d the e x c e l l e n t A n t z . T h e c o m -
lity.
company
Pixar,
who
along
those
lines,
mum is going to go and watch it.
puter generated film goes to a new
level with the j a w d r o p p i n g Final
This film is very funny indeed, not
Fantasy, released this summer, but
only
y o u c a n read m o r e a b o u t that in
the S u m m e r preview.
introverted and o p p r e s s i v e to his
wife.
because
of
the
The story is based on real life inci-
purile
dents surrounding Edith T h o n p s o n ,
G r u f f u d d , w h o p l a y s Bywaters is
b u r p / f a r t humour for the y o u n g
w h o w a s hanged in the late 1 9 2 0 ' s
e x c e l l e n t g i v i n g a d a s h i n g andj
c h i l d r e n (and m e n ) but a l s o t h e
for her part in the murde r of her
extrovert c h a r a c t e r a rather sinis-
more sophisticated jokes aimed at
husband,
ter s i d e . T h e c h e m i s t r y between
P e r c y , by h e r
lover
is Pixar's new offering and is
the more s e s i b l e m e m b e r s of the
Freddie B y w a t e r s . All the evidence
him and L e e is also worthy of note,
m a d e with the s a m e verve, which
audience (women). In the main line
at the time, and this film, is m a d e
a s it is their characters relationship
w h i c h is t h e driving force of the
Shrek
m a d e their p r e v i o u s o f f e r i n g s s o
of fire is D i s n e y , with the film being
sympathetic to her involvement in
successful. Cleverly they
have
v e r y c y n i c a l to all t h i n g s s u g a r y
the crime. B y w a t e r s himself admit-
film. Although their
once agian realised once you have
and sweet. There are numerous
t e d to t h e c r i m e a n d in his l a s t
d o e s n ' t light up t h e s c r e e n it is
a good story, with interesting char-
s e n d ups with q u o t e s and mis-
d a y s p r o t e s t e d T h o m p s o n ' s inno-
good enough to be plausible.
a c t e r s , the humour and
quotes from famous films.
cence ultimately in vain.
flashy
g r a p h i c s p a r t of it p o l i s h off
the
entire thing rather nicely.
Shrek
is a quiet o g r e ( v o i c e d by
M i k e M y e r s ) , who wants
My
f a v o u r i t e is T h e M a t r i x p i s s t a k e
and also the interrogation of a gin-
T h i s f i lm e s s e n t i a l l y f o l l o w s
g e r b r e a d man, all involving
tragic life from before her marriage
the
princess character.
nothing
m o r e than to be left a l o n e in his
Shrek
peaceful s w a m p . However, the evil
be lauded for months to c o m e .
is an excellent film which will
prince Farquaad banishes all of the
fairytale c h a r a c t e r s from his kingd o m to Shrek's
®
s w a m p , much to
Screen
her
chemistry
The film follows quite a long period!
of time, at least twenty years and
d i r e c t o r G o o d h e w must be com-
p r i o r t o t h e F i r s t W o r l d W a r up
mended for letting the film run its
until her final d a y on d e a t h row.
N a t a s h a L e e puts in a v e r y g o o d
c o u r s e a n d , w h i l e not showing a
high d e g r e e of flair, doing a solid!
performance as T h o m p s o n , w h o m
job reacreating an English tragedy.
we are led to believe is an outgoShrek
ing and funloving women restricted
is out on Friday.
Drew
Another
Life is out now.
by both her husband and soceity.
27th June 2001 • Felix
Drew I
•
• f i t
. • •••
• ••
v
.
Evolution
',
•. •••• •. :••
And finally....
Director: Ivan Reitman
the middle of the desert. Duchovny
Well then, the end is nigh, and this
Claire@ddapr, Tom@metrodome,
Starring: David
Duchovny,
plays the oddly named Ira Kane, a
is my last little section. And to
Anna@sony, Anne@momentum,
Julianne M o o r e and S e a n W -
college professor who is sent to
your boredom I'm gonna say some
Engin@entertainment-film and
Scott
investigate. However, soon things
thankyous.
Holly@mission-21.
M
mmm, Evolution.
Films with
But
that's
tough
get out of control when aliens start
because without these folks there
A
springing out of the rock. The mili-
would be no film pages, and more
Sharon@Odeon for the competi-
special
thankyou
to
single scientifically worded
tary are then called in to stop the
importantly I'd have to pay to see
tions and letting me into the Arnie
titles, should be approached with
evolution under the watchful eye of
them. First the reviewers: Tom,
premiere!
care. As everyone knows they can
government scientist Allison Reed
Imran, Aamar, George, Katherine
be good (The Matrix) or more likely
(Moore).
and Dave. Thanks for your help.
they can be bad (The C e l l ) .
M a n y thanks to: A n g i e @ l i m e ,
Evolution has good credentials. For
Unbelievably this film was actually
a start it is d i r e c t e d by Ivan
written
Reitman, one of the most success-
However, when the director has
ful c o m e d i c d i r e c t o r s of
as
a Sci-Fi
Naomi@beatwax,
Jeni
and
thriller.
the
films such as Ghostbusters II and
I980's. Secondly it stars Julianne
Twins to his credit, you know that
Here are a quick rundown on two
Moore, fresh from the success of
'thriller' is possibly used in the
films I've seen out this summer:
Hannibal.
widest sense of the word. In fact, if
it was a thriller, it would have been
However it stars David Duchovny,
a b s o l u t e shite and not worth
A K n i g h t s Tale
A medieval story, where from the
S i d e w a l k s of N Y
first scene of them singing "We
Will Rock y o u " , you know isn't
the man who will be forever known
watching. Instead it is merely a
This is the new Edward Burns film,
going to be that historically accu-
i s Fox M u l d e r . The mentality
comedy of the nature of Reitman's
which he stars in and also directs.
rate.
behind him starring in a film, I really
previous projects. The humour isn't
It is a documentary style film, fol-
don't understand. For the last
groundbreaking and the perform-
lowing the life of six people in New
Heath Ledger is the thatchers boy
decade almost he has been investi-
ances range from average through
York and how their lives overlap
who becomes champion jouster for
gating aliens in the X-Files. In this
to shocking.
through relationships they have
the hand of the beautiful proncess.
Plm guess whathe is investigat|g
aliens. Next is Sean William-
with people.
All in all it's a run of the mill film
However , his n e m e s i s , C o u n t
Adhemar, played quite dreadfully
Scott, whose previous outings have
Hollywood film. I wouldn't recom-
Heather Graham stars alongside a
pen as inane college idiot in Road
mend spending your hard earned
host of actors, all of whom you
business with our young hero at
r i p and Dude, Where's My Car?
cash on it in the cinema. If and
know the f a c e s , but not their
the
fie word 'stereotype' immediately
when y o u ' r e s u i c i d a l l y bored,
names. However, it is Dennis
Championships.
ings to mind.
watch it on video.
Evolution
is out now.
fel. Wayne Green (Scott) discov-
Jousting
Drew
This is a truly dire film, in which
This isn't an easy film to watch,
the only thing worth watching is
but is ulimately very intelligent.
the black haired lady blacksmith.
[S a meteorite that has landed in
HI
• Felix • 27th June 2001
•
World
Farina as a hilarious womanising
TV host who steals the limelight.
p e plot of the film is not very origi-
by Rufus Sewell has unfinished
Screen
screen
Upcoming Summer Movies!
July
this o n e , s o if y o u t h o u g h t J P II
computer animated film which looks
enjoyable or unbelievably bad. You
w a s a J P too far, I wouldn't even
absolutely staggering. However, the
have been warned.
J a p a n e s e element is noticeable with
F i r s t up for J u l y is T o m b R a i d e r ,
c o n s i d e r this o n e . H o w e v e r , t h e
s t a r r i n g A n g e l i n a J o l i e . Following
c a s t is s u r p r i s i n g l y s t r o n g , S a m
the i n d e c i p h e r a b l e plot outline: A
the slating by the American media,
Neill, William H M a c y and Tea
female scientist makes a last stand
I think that computer games made
L e o n i , s o w e m a y be all in for a
on Earth with the help of a ragtag
O n e to d e f i n i t e l y
from films is possibly moe effective
pleasant surprise. M o r e appealing
team of soldiers against an invasion
Moulin Rouge, with Nicol e Kidman
than vice-versa. Look out for some
seems Swordfish starring
John
of alien phantoms. O n e for the S c i -
and Ewan M c G r e g o r . It may be an
unexpected appearances, including
Travolta
Cheadle.
Fi freaks amongst us perhaps. Tim
a c q u i r e d t a s t e w i t h lots of music
Rimmer from Red Dwarf.
High
H e e l s a n d L o w l i f e s is a brit flick
and
Don
September
look out for is
Basically a heist film with a twist, it
B u r t o n s e r v e s up P l a n e t O f T h e
and dancing, but it has already had
follows how a computer
A p e s in m i d - A u g u s t . W i t h
a lot of positive reviews following
hacker
Mark
d i r e c t e d by M e l S m i t h . T h e plot
tries to rob $6 billion dollars from
W a h l b e r g as the a s t r o n a u t
who
the first s c r e e n i n g s in C a a n . Look
s u r r o u n d s h o w a n u r s e p l o t s to
the government. Vinnie J o n e s also
'accidentally' arrives on a s t r a n g e
out for Kylie Minogue popping us as
blackmail some bankrobbers out of
makes an appearance in this one.
planet ruled by aliens after
going
a f a i r y ! A f e w w e e k s l a t e r sees
through a wormhole. This promises
Steven Speilbergs new film Artificial
their heist. W i t h a c a s t including
Minnie
Driver
and
Michael
G a m b o n (always superb),
August
this
to be one of the films to watch this
Intelligence (Al). Starring Haley Joel
summer. Personally I'm interested in
Osment (Sixth Sense) as an android
could be one to watch for. This is
First this month is R u s h H o u r 2,
seeing Helena B o n h a m - C a r t e r as a
in the 21st century, this promises to
r e l e a s e d at t h e s a m e t i m e a s
Anything with J a c k i e C h a n has got
chimpanzee. Paul Hogan and Linda
be a real treat. A n d then before you
J u r a s s i c Park III. Steven Speilberg
to be worth a good look. Final Final
K o z l o w s k i return for
is not having anything to do with
Fantasy: The Spirits Within is a
D u n d e e in L A . This could be midly
• i
S c r e e n
Crocodile
know it, it's 12th October:^American
Pie 2 and the beginning of term.
• 27th June 2001 • Felix •
The Felix Crossword 1211 A , by Wailer Ned
Across:
Down:
I.
1.
Burt crashes into representative and worries
greatly. (7)
5.
s t i c k s . (7)
2.
B e g g a r has 1 's head
around leash. (7)
9.
P a p e r tracks offer travel
discounts. (9)
3.
N y m p h is unavailable
U n w a r r a n t e d if it's not
timetabled. (5)
before first year. (5)
4.
10. A n impulse for each edi-
5.
tor groaned gently.- (9)
I I . C r a p , my old lover's stuck
The clientele move with
H a t s may spin balls! (7)
C o l o u r e d bear following
agony. (7)
6.
right in mortar! (9)
Fast ones get the point
across. (9)
12. Foe? Why, for a clean
7.
out... (5)
Lament the ridge's collapse. (5)
13. ...writers have cot in drug
8.
ship! (7)
S e c o n d picture whipped
out your weapon again?
15. Rubbish collector may
may you sneeze. (7)
(7)
14. U n a b l e to get up, I've
17. Lives about e d g e s . (7)
19. S w e e t sand on point. (7)
taken trips in slumber. (9)
16. H i n t s at a thousand coins
21. S u s p e c t highland leaders
of something fishy. (5)
men hit. (9)
17. W a z z u p ! Liquid on pink,
23. W a r e s are electrified, and
occasionally going ' M o o ! ' ,
perhaps (4-5)
young flower. (4-3)
18. S h h ! It's a bad license! (7)
19. S p l i t s dived, I s e e ! (7)
25. D e a d boner got wider! (9)
20. A b d u c t i o n s bring in the
26. Rule over 2 3 , perhaps?
(5)
profits. (7)
22. M o c k with your mouth full
27. W e hear the boundary
removal will make us
at all times. (5)
24. Tear right into the shack.
safer. (7)
(5)
28. M i s e r y sits awkwardly for
the torturers. (7)
T h i n k i n g of
earning
s o m e c a s h in O c t o b e r ' ?
Long term positions available next term.
There are employment opportunities in all areas
of the Union's Catering, Bars, Ents and
Reception. Hours are arranged to suit you.
There will be an Introduction & Training Day on
Friday, September 28, 9am-4pm. Come and meet
the team and find out more. Lunch wilt be
provided.
For more information please either drop by the
Union reception, or phone on 020-7594-8060,
Make a date in your diary for the Union Training
Day, Friday, October 28, 9am-4pm. We look
forward to working with you!
/CU
IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION
Work foryourself. Work at t h e Union...
...and make a difference to your social life.
T h e e x a m s are f i n i s h e d . T h e p r o j e c t s are h a n d e d in. T h e
drains s m e l l a n d there a r e lots of virtually n a k e d p e o p l e in
H y d e Park. Y e s , it is S u m m e r , a n d y e s , this is o u r last i s s u e .
This d o e s of c o u r s e m e a n that this is a l s o the last c r o s s w o r d
y o u ' l l get from me for a while , but I h o p e that w h a t I have prov i d e d will last y o u at least t h e trip h o m e . It s h o u l d do s o long
as y o u d o n ' t live o u t s i d e Z o n e 2. It h a s o c c a s i o n a l l y b e e n s a i d
that w h a t I w r i t e here d o e s n ' t a l w a y s m a k e m u c h s e n s e - it
s e e m s a bit harsh a s it a l w a y s m a k e s p e r f e c t s e n s e to me.
H o w e v e r , bearin g this in mind, I h a v e e v e n more s p a c e for
n o n s e n s e than u s u a l , s o hold o n t o y o u r s a n i t y if y o u find it a
difficult trip - it'll all be o v e r in three p a g e s ' time.
The Little
One
A b o v e is the c r o s s w o r d I had p r e p a r e d for last w e e k ' s i s s u e ,
but this w a s unfortunately c a n c e l l e d d u e to the w e a t h e r being
far t o o nice a n d e v e r y o n e g o i n g to t h e b e a c h i n s t e a d - d o n ' t
a c c e p t the E d i t o r ' s p h o n e y ' m o n e y e x c u s e ' . I w o u l d n ' t w i s h to
s e e a c r o s s w o r d w a s t e d , s o I h a v e s c r o u n g e d an extra p a g e
from the E d i t o r to bring it to y o u this w e e k i n s t e a d . It has the
unoriginal title of 1211 A , t h o u g h I refer to it a f f e c t i o n a t e l y a s
M a r m a d u k e . T h e a n s w e r s to M a r m a d u k e here m a y well b e
p u b l i s h e d next y e a r if a n y o n e still c a r e s by t h e n , but I'm e q u a l ly likely to simply forget. S t i l l , I w o u l d n ' t l o s e a n y s l e e p o v e r
it.
Crossword
• 27th June 2001
• Felix •
The Felix Crossword 1211 B by Wailer N e d
The Big O n e
Crosswords
a c o r r e c t a n s w e r , c o m e a n d m a k e an empas-
Past
s i o n e d p l e a to the E d i t o r for y o u r prize.
I d i d , of c o u r s e , have a big plan for y o u at the
First the result of 1 2 0 9 ' s c r o s s w o r d , w h e r e I
e n d of t h e year, a n d d e s p i t e having a s p a r e
a m s o r r y to report that I m a d e a m i s t a k e . I
T h e a n s w e r s to both 1 2 0 9 a n d 1210 are at
c r o s s w o r d , I s e l f l e s s l y p r e s s e d on with m y
w o u l d normally g i v e y o u a n o t h e r w e e k , how-
the e n d of this i n t e r m i n a b l e drivel, if you can
b e b o t h e r e d to r e a d that far.
t a s k , f o r m u l a t i n g the e i g h t y c l u e s required
ever, s o m e c o m p l e t e d it r e g a r d l e s s (pointing
a n d losing significant a m o u n t s of hair. You
out the m i s t a k e of c o u r s e ) a n d there is n o w
m a y e v e n t u a l l y d e c i d e it w a s n ' t w o r t h it, but
too
I'm not g o i n g to be here for y o u to tell m e , s o
E l l i o t t of C h e m E n g III w i n s 1 2 0 9 ' s prize of
It s i m p l y w o u l d n ' t b e a final i s s u e of Felix
I'm not o v e r l y c o n c e r n e d . T h e result is t h e
a £ 1 0 b o o k t o k e n . P l e a s e try to p r y it from
w i t h o u t a h u g e list of t h a n k s to t h o s e who
quadr ilat er a l
the h a n d s of our e d i t o r a s s o o n a s y o u c a n . . .
m a d e it all p o s s i b l e . . . I will try to avoid doing
the c l u e s are p l a c e d s o m e w h a t c o n v e n t i o n -
bring a crowbar.
a
ally to the right. G o o d luck - it s h o u l d be
N e x t to 1 2 1 0 , for w h i c h d i d r e c e i v e a p o t e n -
F u d g e w h o p r o d u c e d m a n y a great cross-
p r e t t y easy, but m a y t a k e a while if y o u d o n ' t
tially c o r r e c t e n t r y but t h e e d i t o r lost it d u e
w o r d , giving y o u all w e l c o m e relief from my
k n o w all the a n s w e r s .
to a freak a c c i d e n t including a c h a i r a n d o n e
e f f o r t s . N o t only o v e r - s e x e d , but over your
of the Felix c o m p u t e r s . S o , if y o u did bring in
n e a r e s t i c e - c r e a m d e s s e r t too. U n f o r t u n a t e -
behemoth
found
above, and
little
of
term
left.
Therefore,
Amy
Thank
you
Paltrow. S p e c i a l t h a n k s
go to
Dr
27th June 2001 • Felix
Hot
he Felix Crossword
Across:
57. O m i s s i o n allows you to see too well. (9)
Il3. Straight-laced, and certainly not looking
58. Lions precede fall. (5)
to go white-water rafting. (13)
14. Rasp barrel's bottom, perhaps. (6)
manager. (7)
6 1 . A note. (5)
24. C r y i n g points to milking, only thicker. (9)
62. Grovelling to begin with an initial double
26. Plank on d e c k ? (6)
gin? (7)
15. Fear of 3 8 ' s leader, w e hear. (6)
27. Without manners and acting sick. (3-7)
63. Thematic mania has a head for numbers.
17. Peer wraps on behalf of chili. (6)
23. The panacea ate her, hears the m u s e u m ' s
(13)
18. U s u a l location is frequent. (11)
30. Duplicator is choppier too? (5-6)
3 1 . Flea in royalty makes jumpers. (5)
19. L e g s are final hour, perhaps. (8)
6 7 . W W 2 cipher flea is v e r y mysterious. (9)
32. S t a n d straight, listening intently. (9)
|20. Critical work s e e s again. (7)
6 9 . Knock-out seat folding on beach. (4-5)
34. N a v e l activates s t o m a c h , perhaps. (5,6)
21. Proximity to a J a s o n , s e e ? (9)
7 1 . A c t like before bad dent. (7)
37. W a r s try to get away. (9)
22. Murderous aid, perhaps, really goes with
75. M e s s ate C r e t e , and s o on... (8)
38. Firearm art explodes on R o m a n d r y land.
its outfit. (9)
76. Keeping up materialisations. (11)
25. Prevents actors from falling out of windows . (6,7)
(5-5)
77. Hell shortly encountered a hat. (6)
4 2 . A q u a i n t e d with shelf, y o u have the infor-
78. S p i c e time of year. (6)
mation. (9)
28. Responde r pretends again. (7)
79. Mythical key. (6)
s29. S o u n d s like a neutered garden implement!
80. B r o a d s h e e t ' s post holds cables (9,4)
4 7 . O p e r a ' s lead harbour alliances present
(5)
good possibilities. (13)
48. In Imperial political style, it's an atypical
33. C o n s t r i c t o r on back street craft. (5)
Down:
[35. U n u s e d country is a tip! (9)
1.
S i e z e ante-room. (6)
lathe. (13)
49. C e l e b r i t y is in t w o points of smarmy gen-
36. Feeling a little incredible? (11)
2.
Tea paid five to be multipurpose, (8)
• 9 . Increase rank to make you buy more! (9)
3.
Rebellious rip offs? (4-5)
50. Depth works it out. (7)
J10. Precipitation prophet is a stormy guy. (10)
4.
Broth in a warehouse? (5)
5 1 . Drat! A French a n d frozen w a s t e l a n d ! (6)
41. Hack into bottomless Eden to have gone
5.
Plan before obtaining spiritual harmony
55. C r i c k e t ground at altitude hurts the ears
to G r e t n a G r e e n , perhaps. (6)
(11)
tlemen. (5)
(4-7)
43. A sweet spy - are y o u bad? (5)
6.
44. C r e e p to short trainer. (5)
7.
C l e a r s record's, perhaps, itch. (9)
60. Feature boats in s p a c e ! (9)
U5. Liquid from emptied glass is a little
8.
W e d d i n g boys in hardback, maybe. (5)
64. Feline tries to fly through small doors (8)
9.
Trains and cars over this unslanted spot-
65. Pubs tax regards initial n a m e - s a k e s . (7)
marking. (5-8)
66. Fish go for education there, w e hear (5)
unsteady on its feet. (5)
w6. Sit on f a e c e s ? (5)
Lights have a growler, I hear. (6)
59. Lowly nails provides foundation. (9)
E2. Natural water has been made bouncy. (6)
10. M a r i n a d e d uphill. (7)
53. Dust cloud in make-up kit. (6-4)
11. L a w y e r s are pants! (6)
70. W a r m e d vicious d i s c u s s i o n . (6)
i54. Like ruling party is tiring! (9)
12. C o l u m n gets diploma for researchers.
72. Require the French pin. (6)
(4,9)
16. C o n f e c t i o n e r y without resistance is kind
I
68. O i l is the word. (6)
73. Fruit gets you metre. (5)
16. S e t up around misery. (5)
at heart. (4-7)
74. C o n s u m e r s are roughly sure on point. (5)
ly, he's still in exams as Felix went to press,
for
self-flagellating
w i s h y o u w e l l , a n d you'll have to put up with
lut I'm told he'll ooze over next year's pages
tirades when I realised phenomenon wasn't
the a l t o g e t h e r inferior c r o s s w o r d s f oun d in
Irith abandon. Thanks also to Turnip Henry,
officially spelt with "Do-do-do-do-do" sung
the b r o a d s h e e t s ( w h o a m I k i d d i n g ? ) . If y o u
Nth a bigger vocabulary than any other root
after it, as well as occasionally proofing and
are c o m i n g b a c k next year, then I'm sure
vegetable I've met, for he did many a cross-
trying out crosswords. Thanks also to Carol
w e ' l l m e e t a g a i n in s o m e g u i s e o r other.
pord at the beginning of this year before I
Vorderman who took more verbal abuse than
jven ventured into this office. These thanks
a television presenter generally deserves.
|re so richly deserved because it does in fact
Finally, thanks to Mike and Will who are just
Across:
Heirloom
take rather a while to compile one of thiese
great people and (if you'll indulge me) my
Peace,
Waists,
pings and can, done regularly, take impor-
flatmates, parents, producers of all fine Eng-
C l a s s , O b s e r v e , P a c k i n g , B l a c k s m i t h , Yell,
tant chunks of time away from your academ-
lish dictionaries and every single person who
S a d i s t i c , N o o d l e , Drill, S q u a r e s t . Down:
ic, social and sex lives (though Dr Hot Fudge
has ever worked behind the bar in the Union.
sure, H o u s e W i v e s , Impairs, Spiv, C a n c e l ,
Combined the task with the
latter
a
dictionary
and
quite
effectively). Thanks of course to the Editor,
•hn,
the
nd many thanks to all those clever people
you, and congratulations if you managed to
only completed their
crossword
P d s , but made it all the way over to the
a s Hierloom),
Menu,
World
Pres-
board, D i s c u s s , C r i t i c , Lulls, Till.
It now remains only for me to say goodbye to
not
(mis-spelt
Advocate,
J e t t i s o n , Inane, D i a p h a n o u s , B o l l a r d s , K e y Goodbye
for indulging my requests for prizes
mo
A n s w e r s to C r o s s w o r d 1 2 0 9
A n s w e r s to C r o s s w o r d 1 2 1 0
Flea, A l a r m C l o c k , S t r a d d l e , U d d e r s ,
read this far. I hope you all have a fabulous
Across:
summer, be it wallowing
Tedium, P a t t e r e d , B a l d , N a p p y , N i c e , Airliner,
in exotic
seas,
plix division of the Big Brother studio to
investigating new and unspoiled foreign cul-
G l o o m y , Lawyer, C l u t c h e s , Rainforest, Iced.
P n d them into me. Also, thanks for putting
tures, or trapped in a packed tube train,
Down.-
IP with the occasional mistake. Thanks to
stopped in the middle of the tunnel, with a
A m o u n t , B l u d g e o n , Scar, Paper, E n c u m b e r e d ,
r e members of the Felix staff who tolerated
child projectile-vomiting over your leg.
D e l a y i n g , Yoghurts,
fV disturbed mumblings, repeated searches
If you're not coming back next year, then I
Chef.
P Felix • 27th June 2001
Glitterati, S a f a r i , H a n d y m a n , M a d e ,
Narrow,
Crossword
Orchid,
Ajar,
Don't sink next year
Tell next year's students about what you do- put an entry in the Union Handbook
Entries should not be more than 200 words and should be sent to d p c s @ i c . a c . u k by 1st July
For extra effect why not include a picture?
—
—
—
—
—
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"1
Felix returns in the Autumn under new management- and with a new office
|
i
%
ist ail de<
atfelix@ic.ac.uk.
threats & offers c
i
B -
-
-
All letters should be sent to:
Will Dugdale, Editor
Felix
The Media Centre
Beit Quad
Prince Consort Road
SW7 2BB
The new offfice is in the basement of Beit Quad on the left-hand side as you enter
from the street. Feel free to drop in for coffee.
•
The phone number remains the same- 020 759 48072
2t)
Un
ion
• 27th June 2001
.Felix*
Thankyou
lain A n g u s For the helpful a d v i c e , c o n f i d e n c e and p r o v i d i n g a f o o t r e s t (and
k e e p i n g t h e g o t h t h i n g to y o u r s e l f ) M u s t a f a A r i f T h e o n l y p e r s o n in C o l l e g e w i t h
a s i m i l a r j o b to m i n e - g o o d j o b on t h e w e b s i t e B a s h a r i B a k a r i W e l l - w r i t t e n ,
r e v e a l i n g i n t e r v i e w s w i t h t o p b u s i n e s s m e n - a n d y o u e v e n l a i d t h e p a g e s out
y o u r s e l f ! T o m B a i l e s s O n e of my m o s t f a i t h f u l s t a f f , e n t h u s i a s t i c a n d f u l l of
g o o d i d e a s ( s e e p a g e 14) P e t e B o y l e F o r t h e s t o r i e s & g o s s i p - s o r r y the
M a s t e r p l a n didn't work out, you did a good job though K e v i n B u t c h e r
U n d o u b t e d l y t h e n i c e s t p e r s o n in the U n i o n R u t h C h a p p i e F o r t h e a d v i c e H e l e n a
C o c h e m e F o r s h o w i n g u n d e n i a b l e c o u r a g e in t h e f a c e of a d v e r s i t y - a n d b e i n g s o
s w e e t H a m i s h C o m m o n Y o u r e n c y c l o p e d i c k n o w l e d g e of a l l t h i n g s U n i o n h a s
s a v e d my s k i n a f e w t i m e s - t h a n k s N i n a D e R o y G o o d w r i t i n g s t y l e , a n d I l o s t
c o u n t of h o w m a n y t i m e s y o u s t a y e d up a l l n i g h t to do an a r t i c l e W i l l D u g d a l e
A r g u a b l y t h e o n l y p e r s o n w i t h a s e n s e of h u m o u r m o r e f u c k e d up t h a n m i n e , i t ' s
a l w a y s v e r y o b v i o u s w h e n i t ' s y o u w a l k i n g up the s t a i r s . G o o d l u c k next y e a r !
K a t h e r i n e D y e r - P e r r y F o r t a l k i n g me out of d o i n g s o m a n y s t u p i d t h i n g s , a n d t h e
only person w h o s e advice includes "go h o m e " S t e f Evans S u r p r i s i n g l y sharp for
a f l u f f y s a b b , y o u ' v e got me out of m a n y a s c r a p e , a n d h o p e f u l l y d o n e o u r r e a d e r s a lot of g o o d J o h n F o s t e r T h a n k s f o r b e i n g s u c h a g o o d s p o r t - a n d w e l l d o n e
f o r not t a k i n g t h e b a i t v e r y o f t e n D r H o t F u d g e F o r t h e u n a s h a m e d s e X w o r d s &
a p p e a r i n g in t h a t p i c t u r e M a r i a m G h o r b a n n e j a d F o r t h e e n t h u s i a s m , a n d t h e
b e s t w o r d s t h a t a n y c o u l d s a y to m e : " W h a t do y o u w a n t me to w r i t e a b o u t "
V i c k y H i n d D i t t o P e t e , R a g g a i n e d a lot f r o m y o u r e n t h u s i a s m A n d y H o u l d s w o r t h
If w e w e r e a s i t c o m , y o u ' d s o e a s i l y be m u s i c e d i t o r , a r g u a b l y t o o c o o l to be
h e r e M a r k H o m e F o r t h e c o m e d y - on a n d off s t a g e M a n d y H u r f o r d F o r t h e a d v i c e
and being so u n d e r s t a n d i n g - d e s p i t e the fact I c a u s e more trouble than anyone
e l s e C h r i s J a c k s o n F o r a l l the w o r k in M e d i a G r o u p , d e l i v e r i n g us f r o m e v i l a n d
f o r p u t t i n g up w i t h my a c c o u n t i n g M a t t h e w K a p l a n G o o d S c i e n c e p a g e t h i s y e a r a n d I w a s f l a t t e r e d to be a s k e d f o r a d v i c e by y o u - t h i n k it s h o u l d h a v e b e e n t h e
other w a y r o u n d . No t hank s for the music t h o u g h ! J o n a s L i n d s a y For being
e n t h u s i a s t i c & a g o o d p h o t o g r a p h e r - s o r r y I c o u l d n ' t f i n d m u c h f o r y o u to d o a n d I r e a l l y w a s n ' t t r y i n g to g e t y o u k i l l e d by s e n d i n g y o u on d a n g e r o u s a s s i g n m e n t s M C P L i t h o F o r p u l l i n g off m i r a c l e s on a w e e k l y b a s i s , d e s p i t e my e r r a t i c
w o r k and timing J o n a t h a n M a t t h e w s For the b o o k s , the o p i n i o n s & the friendship, thanks G a r e t h M o r g a n For t e a c h i n g me, w e l l , e v e r y t h i n g , I think you
d e s e r v e a p a g e of y o u r o w n W a i l e r N e d F o r s c r e w i n g up p e o p l e s ' m i n d s D r e w
N i e n h u i s D i t t o J o n a t h a n , a n d f o r p u t t i n g up w i t h t h e s t a t e of t h e o f f i c e , me losing y o u r p o s t a n d s c r e w i n g up y o u r p a g e s A n d y O f o r i A d v i c e , a n d me t a k i n g t h e
p i s s out of y o u r j o b . G o be a g o o d m a n a g e m e n t c o n s u l t a n t P e n e l o p e P a r k e r
G o o d l u c k w i t h W i l l D a v e P a r r y F o r not k i l l i n g me L u c y P e n m a n F o r s a v i n g a lot
of e m b a r r a s s i n g m i s t a k e s S t e v e P e r r o t t F o r a l l t h e d r i v i n g - c a n ' t h a v e b e e n fun
D a v e R o b e r t s F o r g i v i n g me s o m e o n e to l o o k up t o , a n d s o m e o n e to t r y a n d
p r o v e w r o n g H a m al R u b i a e B r i n g i n g a lot to t h e j o b - g o o d l u c k t o o N i k o l a i
S e g u r a For filling the letters page for a w h o l e term, you h e a t h e n ! Ed S e x t o n I
h o p e in a f e w y e a r s t i m e I'll g e t to be a s g o o d a w r i t e r a s y o u - E a r l ' s C o u r t w o n ' t
be t h e s a m e w i t h o u t y o u S a m S h a r p e F o r t h e b a n t e r , a d v i c e a n d e v e n t h e o c c a s i o n a l column J a g S i n g h A l s o for the a r t i c l e s , and for s t a n d i n g your ground over
human rights. M a d e for a S e r i o u s D e b a t e Tim S t e r r y G r e a t s t o r y , s o r r y I got
y o u r n a m e w r o n g P a s c a l e T a y l o r F o r s t a y i n g up a l l t h o s e l a t e n i g h t s - not s u r e
w h y R i c h a r d T a y l o r F o r t h e g o s s i p , e v e n w h e n it i n v o l v e d me A n d r e w W h e e l e r
F a r t o o c l a s s y f o r a m e d i c , y o u ' r e o n e of the f e w p e o p l e I k n o w I c o u l d i m a g i n e
a s a r e a l d o c t o r . . . G r e a t e f f o r t on t h e a r t s p a g e s J u s t i n v a n d e r T o o r n N i c e
l o g o s , t h a n k s f o r b r i g h t e n i n g up t h e p a g e s J o W h i t e P r o o f - r e a d i n g A N D w o r k ing w i t h l a i n . S o b r a v e A l i s d a i r W r e n I r e a l l y t h r e w y o u in at t h e d e e p e n d a n d
y o u c a m e up t r u m p s in the f i r s t w e e k . A l w a y s f u l l of i d e a s a n d a g r e a t s e n s e of
humour
A n d e v e r y o n e e l s e w h o ' s h e l p e d t h i s y e a r - s o r r y if I've m i s s e d a n y o n e o u t .
T h a n k s for r e a d i n g
John
Felix • 27th June
2001
The End