Chapter 11
Experiencing
Parenthood: Roles and
Relationships of Parents
and their Children
Chapter Outline
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Being Parents
Who Actually Takes Care of the
Children?
Theories of Child Socialization
From the Theoretical to the
Practical: Expert Advice on Child
Rearing
Chapter Outline
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Styles and Strategies of Child Rearing
Children’s Needs, Parents’ Needs
Parents’ Needs
Issues of Diverse Families
Parenting and Caregiving in Later Life
Two Extremes Among
Contemporary Fathers:
1.
2.
Many men aspire for active,
meaningful involvement with
their children
Others, especially divorced
fathers, maintain little actual
contact with their children.
Mental Child Care
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Worrying:
– Mothers worry about their babies
more than fathers do.
– Baby worry refers to all the things
that women as primary caregivers
must concern themselves with.
– Mother worry refers to whether one is
being a good enough mother.
Mental Child Care
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Processing information:
– Mothers seek out additional
information or advice about children’s
development and needs.
– Mothers spend more time and energy
in seeking, finding, and disseminating
than men do in receiving advice or
information.
Mental Child Care

Managing the division of labor:
– Women bear the brunt of having to
seek assistance with child care from
their partners.
– They have to decide what type of
help to ask for, when to seek it, and
what to do if it is not forthcoming.
Non Parental Child Care
77% of the more than 8 million 3- to 5year-olds are in some form of
nonparental child care.
 3 out of 4 children from families earning
over $75,000, spend time in “centerbased programs”.
 Among children whose families earn
less than $40,000, little more than half
spend time in such programs.

Freud, Piaget, and Erikson
Compared
Infancy
Freud
Piaget
Erikson
Oral
Sensorimotor
Trust vs.
mistrust
Autonomy
vs. shame
and doubt
Anal
Early
childhood
Phallic
Preoperational
Initiative
vs. guilt
Freud, Piaget, and Erikson
Compared
Freud
Piaget
Late-middle
childhood
Latency
Concrete
operational
Adolescence
Genital
Formal
operational
Erikson
Industry
vs.
inferiority
Identity
vs.
confusion
Freud, Piaget, and Erikson
Compared
Freud
Piaget
Erikson
Early
adulthood
Intimacy vs.
isolation
Middle
adulthood
Generativity vs.
stagnation
Late
adulthood
Ego integrity
vs. despair
Attachment Patterns in 12- to
18-Month-Olds in the “Strange
Situation”
Attachment
pattern
Secure
Anxious/
ambivalent
Anxious/
avoidant
Behavior
Before Separation
Separates from mother to
explore toys; is friendly toward
stranger when mother is there
Has difficulty separating to
explore toys; stays close to
mother
Separates to explore toys; shows
little preference for parent over
stranger
Attachment Patterns in 12- to
18-Month-Olds in the “Strange
Situation”
Attachment
Pattern
Behavior
During Separation
Secure
May cry; play is subdued for a
while, usually recovers, plays
Anxious/
ambivalent
Is very distressed; cries
hysterically, continues to cry;
Anxious/
avoidant
Shows no distress;continues to
play; interacts with strangers
Attachment Patterns in 12- to
18-Month-Olds in the “Strange
Situation”
Attachment
Pattern
Reunion Behavior
Secure
If distressed during separation,
contact with mother ends
distress; if not distressed; greets
mother with affection
Anxious/
ambivalent
Seeks comfort but then rejects it;
may be passive
Anxious/
avoidant
Ignores or moves away from
mother.
Attachment Patterns in 12- to
18-Month-Olds in the “Strange
Situation”
Attachment
Pattern
Behavior with Stranger
Secure
Somewhat friendly; may play
with stranger
Anxious/
ambivalent
Wary of stranger; rejects offers
to play
Anxious/
avoidant
Does not avoid staranger
Needs for Optimal Child
Development
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Adequate prenatal nutrition and
care.
Appropriate stimulation and care of
newborns.
The formation of at least one close
attachment during the first five
years.
Needs for Optimal Child
Development
Support for the family including child
care when a parent or parents must
work.
 Protection from illness.
 Freedom from physical and sexual
abuse.
 Supportive friends, both adults and
children.
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Needs for Optimal Child
Development
Respect for the child’s individuality and
appropriate challenges leading to
competence.
 Safe, nurturing, and challenging
schooling.
 An adolescence “free of pressure to
grow up too fast, yet respectful of
natural biological transformations”
 Protection from premature parenthood.
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% of Population, Over 30,
Responsible for Grandchildren,
2000
Gay and Lesbian Parents

Children of gay and lesbian
generally:
– Maintain close relationships with their
parents.
– Are well-adjusted.
– Develop the same sexual orientations
and gender roles as children of
heterosexuals.
Comtemporary Strategies
for Child Rearing
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Include elements of:
– Mutual respect
– Consistency and clarity
– Logical consequences
– Open communication
– Behavior modification in place of
physical punishment.
Grandparenting
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An important role for the middleaged and aged.
Three Styles of Grandparenting:
1. Companionate
2. Remote
3. Involved