Personality and Relationships
November 21, 2007
Reminder
• As announced last class, you have until
December 5th to complete the paper instead
of November 28th.
Tonight’s Lecture
• How does identity change with age?
• Is there such a thing as a midlife crisis?
• How does middle-aged and older couples
differ?
• What are the benefits of being a grandparent?
• What are the benefits and drawbacks of
caregiving?
Erik Erikson (1902-1994)
• Erikson was the first theorist to develop a true
lifespan theory of personality development.
• His eight stages represent the eight great
struggles that he believed people must undergo.
• Each struggle has a certain time of ascendancy
– The epigenetic principle
– Each struggle must be resolved to continue
development
Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial
Development
Clarifications and Extensions of Erikson’s
Theory
• Logan argues that the eight stages are really a cycle
that repeats
– trust achievement wholeness
• Van Geert proposes that the rules by which people
move from one stage to the next may be related to
cognitive development.
• Kotre has extended generativity versus stagnation
stage to include five types of generativity
– Biological and parental
– Technical
– Cultural
– Agentic
– Communal
The McAdams Model
• McAdams’s model shows how generativity
results from:
– Complex interconnections between societal
and inner forces
– Thus, creating a concern for the next
generation and a belief in the goodness of
the human enterprise
Loevinger’s Theory
• Loevinger has proposed the most comprehensive
attempt at integrating cognitive and ego
development and extension of Erikson’s theory
– Ego development results from dynamic
interactions between the person and the
environment
– Eight stages – six in adulthood
– Four areas of importance in ego development
1.Character development
2.Interpersonal style
3.Conscious preoccupations
4.Cognitive style
Theories Based on Life Transitions
• Amongst the most popular theories of adult
personality development.
• Based on the idea that adults go through a
series of life transitions, or passages
– However, few of these theories have substantial
databases, and none are based on
representative samples.
• Life transitions tend to overestimate the
commonality of age-linked transitions.
In Search of the Midlife Crisis
• A key idea in life transition theories is the
midlife crisis.
– The idea that at middle age we take a good
look at ourselves in the hopes of achieving a
better understanding of who we are.
• Many adults face difficult issues and make
behavioural changes
In Search of the Midlife Crisis
• However, very little data supports the claim that all
people inevitably experience a crisis in middle age.
– Most middle-aged people do point to both gains
and losses, positives and negatives in their lives
• This transition may be better characterized as a
midlife correction.
– Reevaluating ones’ roles and dreams and making
the necessary corrections
Conclusions about Personal Concerns
• Evidence supports a sharp change in personal
concerns as adults age.
– This is in contrast to stability in dispositional traits
supporting McAdams’s contention that this
middle level of personality should show some
change.
• Change is not specific to an age, but is dependent on
many factors.
• All agree that there is a need for more research in
this area.
McAdams’s Life-Story Model
• Argues that people create a life story
– That is, an internalized narrative with a
beginning, middle, and an anticipated ending
• There are seven essential features of a life story
– Narrative tone
– Image
– Theme
– Ideological setting
– Nuclear episodes
– Character
– An ending
McAdams’s Life-Story Model
• Adults are said to reformulate their life
stories throughout adulthood both at the
conscious and unconscious levels
– The goal is to have a life story that is
• Coherent
• Credible
• Open to new possibilities
• Richly differentiated
• Reconciling of opposite aspects of oneself
• Integrated within one’s sociocultural context
Whitbourne's Identity Theory
• Argues that people build conceptions of how
their lives should proceed
• They create a unified sense of their past,
present, and future
– The life-span construct, which has 2 parts
– A scenario
• This includes future expectations or a game plan
for one’s life; it is strongly related to age norms.
– A life story
• A personal narrative history that organizes past
events into a coherent sequence.
Self-Concept
• The organized, coherent, integrated pattern of
self-perceptions that includes self-esteem and
self-image.
– Mortimer and colleagues
• A 14-year longitudinal study showed that selfconcept influences the interpretation of life events
• Kegen
– Self-concepts across adulthood are related to
the cognitive-developmental level.
– Proposes six stages of development which
correspond to levels of cognitive development.
– Emphasizes that self-concept and personality
does not occur in a vacuum.
Possible Selves
• Created by projecting yourself into the future and
thinking about what you would like to become,
and what you are afraid of becoming.
• Age differences have been observed in both
hoped-for and feared selves.
– Young adults and middle-aged adults report
family issues as most important.
– Middle-aged and older adults report personal
issues to be most important.
• However, all groups included physical aspects as part
of their most feared selves.
– Interestingly, young and middle-aged adults see
themselves as improving in the future, while
older adults do not.
Possible Selves
• Ryff identified six aspects of psychological
well-being:
– Self-acceptance
– Positive relationships with others
– Autonomy
– Environmental mastery
– Purpose in life
– Personal growth
Religiosity and Spiritual Support
• Older adults use religion more often than any other
strategy to help them cope with problems in life
– Spiritual support includes
• Pastoral care
• Participating in organized and non-organized religious
activities
• Expressing faith in a God who cares for people
• Spiritual support provides a strong influence on
identity
– This is especially true for African Americans, who
are more active in their church groups and attend
services more frequently
– Research with Muslims, Sikhs, and Hindus
showed they also gain important aspects of their
identity (e.g., self-worth) from religion.
Gender-Role Identity
• People’s beliefs about the appropriate
characteristics for men and women
– They reflect shared cultural beliefs and
stereotypes about masculinity and femininity
• There is some evidence that gender role identity
converges in middle age
– Men and women more likely to endorse similar
self-descriptions
• However, these similar descriptions do not
necessarily translate into similar behavior
• Also, older men and women tend to endorse similar
statements about masculinity and femininity
What Role Do Friends Play?
• Three broad themes underlie adult friendships
– Affective or emotional basis
• This includes self-disclosure, expressions of
intimacy, appreciation, affection, and support
• Based on trust, loyalty, and commitment
• Shared or communal nature
– Friends participate in or support activities of
mutual interest
• Sociability and compatibility
– Friends keep us entertained and are sources
of amusement, fun, and recreation
How Do Friendships Change Over
Time?
• Young adults tend to have more friends and
acquaintances than any other age group.
• Friendships in old age are especially important
for maintaining life satisfaction.
• This is possibly due to socio-emotional
selectivity.
Are Friendships Different For Men and
Women?
• Men tend to have fewer friendships than
women.
• Men’s friendships tend to be based on shared
activities.
• Women's friendships are based on intimate
emotional sharing.
• Cross-gender friendships tend to be very
difficult to maintain.
How Do Siblings Relate To One
Another?
• Five types of sibling relationships have been
identified:
– Congenial
– Loyal
– Intimate
– Apathetic
– Hostile
• Loyal and congenial relationships describe nearly
two-thirds of all older sibling pairs.
• Sibling ties among sisters tend to be the strongest.
How About Love?
• Sternberg has identified three components of love
– Passion
– Intimacy
– Commitment
• Ideally, good love relationships have all three
components
• Assortative mating does the best job explaining the
process of forming love relationships.
– Selecting a mate works best when there are
shared values, goals, and interests.
• Cross-cultural research demonstrates that mate
preferences are subject to powerful cultural norms.
Love & Marriage
• The median age at first marriage is increasing and
has done so over the last few decades
• Factors influencing marital success
– Maturity of the two partners at time of
marriage
– Homogamy
• Marriage based on similarity
– Feelings of equality
• Exchange theory - each partner contributing
something to the relationship that the other would
be hard pressed to provide
How Does Marital Satisfaction
Change Over Time?
• Childless couples tend to remain satisfied
throughout their marriage.
• Couples with children show declines in
marital satisfaction while the children are
still living at home.
• Additionally, marriages in which both
partners are mutually dependent on the
other tend to remain happy.
What Are Long-Term Marriages
Like?
• Most long-term marriages tend to be happy.
• Couples in long-term happy marriages show
an ability to adapt to changes in their
relationships (Weishaus & Fields, 1988).
• Couples realize that expectations about
one's marriage change over time.
• The partners express few negative
emotions.
What Differentiates Middle-Aged & Older
Couples? (Levenson et al., 1993, 1994)
• Older couples: Less potential for conflict
and more for pleasure.
• Equivalent levels of physical and mental
health.
• Older couples: Less gender differences &
more positive emotions.
• When discussing a problem, older couples
are less emotionally negative and more
positive, and more affectionate.
Sexuality in Older Adults
• As Time Goes By: Video discussing changes in
sexuality as people grow older.
• Call number: AV 00571
• What are the changes older adults report in their
sex life?
• How do couple relationships changes? Is it
congruent with what we have discussed so far?
• Is there a stigma attached to sexuality as we age?
Is it a cohort effect?
Divorce: When Marriage Takes a
Wrong Turn
• Although most couples intend their marriages to
last, roughly half will end in divorce.
• Currently 1 in every 3 households is affected by
divorce.
• The peak time for divorce is 3 or 4 years after the
wedding or when a couple is in their late 20s.
• One reason given for the increase in divorces is
that attitudes toward divorce have mellowed,
while expectations about marriage have
increased.
Are There Factors Predicting Divorce?
• Gottman and Levenson (2000) developed 2
models to predict divorce early (<7 years)
and late (when the first child reaches age
14) in a marriage.
• Importance of showing emotions: Negative
emotions vs. lack of positive emotions.
• Right after divorce: Preoccupation with
thoughts of spouse and high feelings of
hostility: Poorer emotional well-being.
Impact of Divorce
• Divorce may impair well-being even several
years later.
– Men have more short-term problems.
– Women have more long-term problems.
– In general, the older the individual is at the time
of the divorce, the more difficult the adjustment
process will be.
Divorce and Remarriage
• Despite adjustment problems, the vast majority of
divorced people remarry.
– Usually remarriage occurs within three years.
• Second marriage rates are lower for older divorced
women.
• Very little research has been conducted on the
nature of second (or higher) marriages.
– What little is known suggests that the biggest
problem will likely be step-parenting.
• Remarriage in late life appears to be very happy,
especially if the partners were widowed.
– In this case, the biggest problem is usually
resistance by adult children.
Widowhood
• Experiencing the death of one's spouse is a
traumatic event, but one which is highly likely.
– More than half of women over 65 are widows,
but only 16% of same-aged men are widowers.
• Reactions to widowhood depend on the quality of
the marriage.
• Widowed people are vulnerable to being
abandoned by their couples-based friendship
network.
– As a result, they may become socially isolated.
Gender Differences in Widowhood
• Widowhood is more common among
women because they tend to marry older
men.
• Widowed men are typically older than
widowed women.
• Men are more likely to die soon after their
spouse.
– Either by suicide or natural causes.
Effect of Widowhood on Disability (van
den Brink et al., 2004)
• Impact of widowhood on mobility, IADLs &
basic ADLs in men from Finland, Netherlands
& Italy.
• Looked at the impact of widowhood on
disability onset, duration of widowhood
(less than 5 years vs. more than 5 years) and
living situation (living alone vs. with others).
• Do men get used to widowhood?
Results
• Living alone: Netherlands (76%) & Finland
(65%) vs. Italy (33%)
• Widowhood: Higher prevalence of disability
of IADLs & mobility.
• Men who had been widowed less than 5
years showed more disabilities on IADLs
than those widowed longer. No difference
in mobility or basic ADLs.
• Men living alone: Fewer disabilities for
mobility & basic ADLs.
• Lived in institution: more disabled.
More Results
• Interactions between countries and
different variables: Not significant.
• Problem of dropped/missing data: People
who are more impaired discontinue.
• Nevertheless, depression and health
problems following widowhood could
explain some increase in disability just
following bereavement.
• Functional vs. situational disability.
Family & Intergenerational Relationships
• Riley and Riley present three ways of
conceptualizing kinship ties
– Simple - involving two generations
– Expanded - involving three generations
– Latent - involving in-laws and other relatives
Middle-Aged Adults Caring for Their
Parents
• Sandwich generation
– Used to describe how middle-aged adults are
squeezed by competing demands of children
who want to gain independence and their
parents who want to maintain independence.
• Middle-aged adults do not abandon their parents.
– Most middle-aged adults typically maintain
close and frequent contact with their parents.
– Often due to feelings of filial obligation.
Abuse and Neglect of Older Adults
• Elder abuse is difficult to define and has
several categories:
– Physical
– Psychological and emotional
– Sexual
– Material or financial
– Violation of rights
• Most perpetrators are adult children.
– Abuse and neglect of older adults is an
increasing problem.
Abuse and Neglect of Older Adults
• Characteristics of elder abuse victims
– Some data show women more likely to be
abused than men while other data show no
differences.
– People over the age of 80 are abused two to
three times more often than those under 80.
– Main factors in abuse:
•
•
•
•
•
Age
Poverty
Race
Functional and cognitive impairment
Living with someone
– In 90% of the cases the family member is the
abuser, and in two thirds of those, it is the
spouse or adult child.
Changing Relationships
• Parents and their children are living longer, so
they now achieve status equals
– Property transfer no longer constitutes the
primary reason for formal intergenerational
ties.
– Most older adults are reasonably healthy and
self-sufficient.
– Contemporary families are increasingly diverse.
– Many forms of relationships provide
alternatives to traditional parent-child
interactions.
Being a Family
• Nuclear family
– Consisting only of parents and children
– The most common form of family in Western
societies.
• Extended family
– Consisting of grandparents and other relatives
living with parents and children.
– The most common form around the world is
the extended family.
• Social pressure is put on people to have children.
– However, children seriously disrupt most
marriages and put many strains on the family.
Being a Family
• In general, child-free couples report
happier marriages, more freedom, and
higher standard of living.
• The timing of parenthood is important in
how involved parents are in their families
– Men who become fathers in their 30s spend
much more time with their children than men
who become fathers in their 20s.
The Empty Nest
• Most parents do not report severe negative
emotions when their children leave home.
– Only 25% report negative emotions when their
children leave home.
– Difficulties emerge when children were a major
source of a parent’s identity.
• However, most parents typically report
distress if adult children move back home.
Becoming a Grandparent
• Neugarten and Weinstein identified five
major styles of grandparenting.
– Formal
– Fun seeker
– Distant
– Surrogate parents
– Dispenser of family wisdom
• One third of grandparents are classified as
formal with traditional roles.
– Such as occasional babysitting and occasionally
indulging grandchild.
Becoming A Grandparent
• A second common style is the fun seeker.
– This relationship is characterized by informal
playfulness.
• Kivnick has identified five meanings of
being a grandparent
– Centrality
– Value as an elder
– Immortality through clan
– Reinvolvement with one’s personal past
– Indulgence
Caregiving Stress
• Caregiving for aging parents can be highly stressful.
– Done by family members, many of whom are
daughters or daughter-in-laws.
– Middle-aged adults also frequently experience
difficulty in accepting their parents' problems
and in adjusting to a caregiving role.
• Strain on the middle-aged adult's marital
relationship.
• Financial costs.
• Many aging parents do not like the fact that their
children must care for them and have a desire to
remain independent.
The Role of Family Functioning in Caregiving
Stress (Mitrani et al., 2006)
• Structural Family Theory (Minuchin, 1974)
– The family is a basic human system.
– The function of subsystems within the family
system are important.
– The evolution of transactional patterns: If the
different relationships do not evolve to adapt,
can become problematic.
– System and subsystem boundaries.
Structural Family Therapy
• Goal: Identify and correct problematic
structures by observing and reshaping
interactions.
• REACH program for dementia caregivers.
• Stress-process model.
• Study looked at Cuban American families
and non-Hispanic families.