CHAPTER 14
Early Adulthood: Social and Emotional
Development
Early Adulthood
• Spans the decades from ages 20 to 40
• Havighurst tasks* (1972)
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Getting started in occupation
Selecting and courting a mate
Learning to live contentedly with one’s partner
Starting a family and becoming a parent
Assuming responsibilities of managing a home
Assuming civic responsibilities
Finding a congenial social group
*This traditional view ignores some realities of human
diversity and contemporary life.
Separation
Separation
• Young adults leave home at different ages and for
different reasons.
• Healthy for young adults to separate from their parents
• Some young adults may live at home longer to save
money until they can live on their own.
• Young adults who go away to college often have a room
at their parents home.
• Even some college graduates may return home to live
for financial reasons
Separation (cont’d)
• Young adults in the military have housing needs taken
care of; rupture from home and neighborhood is sudden
and complete
• Many working young adults live at home for financial
reasons.
• Not uncommon for some young adults to get married
and then move in with one set of parents
– Sometimes tolerant parents will let unmarried child move in with
them along with a boyfriend or girlfriend
Separation - Individuation
• Individuation
– Becoming an individual by means of integrating one’s own value
and beliefs with those of one’s parents and one’s society
• Men
– Most men consider separation and individuation key goals to
personality development
– Males more likely to show struggle or fight for independence
• Women
– Most women consider social relationships of primary importance
• Employment and financial independence lessen feelings
of connectedness with parents.
– College maintains these feelings
Intimacy versus Isolation
Intimacy versus Isolation
• Erikson (1963) saw establishment of intimate
relationships key “crisis” of early adulthood
• Young adults with firm identity seek to fuse relationships
into marriage or abiding friendships.
• Erikson believed it is difficult to commit to others until
ego identity is achieved.
• Erikson believed it was normal to develop intimate
relationships and bear children within a generally stable
and nurturing environment during early adulthood.
Seasons of Life
Levinson’s Seasons of Life
• Levinson hypothesize that adults go through certain
periods of life called “seasons”.
• Believed the underlying pattern of a person’s life was his
or her life structure
- Adopt the dream to become someone, leave mark on history
- Women
- Undergo similar development but with social constraints both
from families of origin and society, making it harder for women to
leave home
- More pressure on women to go from parents’ home to husbands’
home
Seasons of Life (cont’d)
- Age 30: transition (ages 28 to 33)
- Characterized by reassessment for both men and women
- Later 30s
- Characterized by settling down or planting roots
- Financial and emotional investment in home
- Concerns focus on career advancement, mortgages, and raising
their own families
- Some of Levinson’s views outdated by U.S. standards
- Many women lead independent, single lives as long as they wish
- Most do not care what others think of their status or living
arrangements
- Most will live in cities where others do not frown on their lifestyle
Attraction and Love:
Forces That Bind?
Attraction and Love: Forces that Bind?
• In developed nations, young adults are free to choose
with whom they will associate as well as with whom they
will develop romantic relationships.
• Attraction and love
– The emotional forces that fuel these associations
Attraction
• Attraction: psychological forces that draw people
together
• Physical appearance is the key factor in consideration
for partners for dates, sex, and long-term relationships.
• Culture is a determinant as to which qualities are
attractive
– In some African tribes, long necks and round, disk-like lips are
signs of feminine beauty.
– In U.S., taller men are considered more attractive by women.
– In U.S., there is pressure for both males and females to be
slender.
– Experiments in which men rated the same woman as being
more attractive when her photograph was shown against a red
background as compared with white, gray, and a variety of other
background colors
Sex Differences in Perceptions of
Attractiveness
• Women more attracted to socially dominant men than
men are attracted to socially dominant women.
• Outgoing men found to be more attractive
• Men put off by outgoing, self-expressive women
• Tall women not seen as attractive; opposite true for tall
men
• Women more likely to marry an unattractive male
– Not likely to marry an unemployed male (Sprecher, 1994)
Are Preferences Concerning Attractiveness
Inborn?
• Evolutionary psychologists maintain certain traits more
attractive due to reproductive advantage
• Cleanliness, good complexion, clear eyes, good teeth,
good hair, firm muscle tone, and a steady gait
universally appealing to both sexes
– Possibly markers of reproductive potential
• Biological clock limits females’ reproductive potential
• Physical characteristics associated with women
• Ability to provide for family associated with men
Table 14-1, p. 293
The Attraction-Similarity Hypothesis: Do
“Opposites Attract” or “Do Birds of a Feather
Flock Together”?
• Attraction-similarity hypothesis
– People develop romantic relationships with others who are
similar to themselves in attractiveness and other traits.
• Opposites do not attract
– People in committed relationships are most likely to be similar to
their partners in attitude and cultural attributes.
– Partners are like us in race and ethnicity, age, level of
education, and religion
Reciprocity: If You Like Me, You Must Have
Excellent Judgment
• Reciprocity
– When we feel admired and complimented, we tend to
return these feelings and behaviors.
– Important determinant of attraction
Love
• Romantic love occurs within a cultural context in which
the concept is idealized.
• Concept of love in Western culture is transmitted through
romantic fairy tales that are passed down through the
generations.
Love as Appraisal of Arousal
• Love
– State of intense physiological arousal
– The cognitive appraisal of that arousal
• Perception of being in love consists of
– 1) state of intense arousal that is connected with an appropriate
love object
– 2) cultural setting that idealizes romantic love
– 3) attribution of arousal to feeling of love for the person
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
• Sternberg’s (2006) “triangular love” theory consists of
three building blocks
– 1) Intimacy — the experience of warmth toward another person
that arises from feelings of closeness and connectedness, and
the desire to share one’s innermost thoughts
– 2) Passion — intense romantic or sexual desire, accompanied
by physiological arousal
– 3) Commitment — desire to maintain the relationship through
good times and bad
• In this theory, couples are well matched if they possess
corresponding levels of passion, intimacy, and
commitment
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love (cont’d)
• Being in love
– Refers to states of passion; friendship is based on shared
interests, liking, and respect; do not necessarily overlap
• Romantic love
– Has passion and intimacy but lacks commitment
• Fatuous love
– Has passion and commitment but lacks intimacy; usually dies
down when couple realize they’re not well matched
• Consummate love
– Relationship with passion, intimacy, and commitment
Fig. 14-3, p. 295
Jealousy
• Partners become jealous when others show sexual
interest in their partners or when their partners show
interest in another.
• Jealousy can contribute to a relationship failing.
– Can cause feelings of insecurity and rejection, anxiety and loss
of self-esteem, and feelings of mistrust
• Milder forms of jealousy can show that the partner cares.
• Young adults have been known to play jealousy games.
Loneliness
Loneliness
• Loneliness
– Increases during adolescence when peer relationships replace
family ties and teens are more aware of other adolescents
becoming more successful at making friends and earning the
admiration of others
– Associated with low self-confidence, introversion, unhappiness,
depression; social support helps people to cope with stress
– Social isolation contributes to health problems such as obesity
and high blood pressure.
– Lonely people may have poor social skills or lack empathy.
The Single Life
The Single Life
• Young adults
– More are choosing to remain single longer than young adults
from previous eras
– Many are postponing marriage to pursue educational and career
goals
– More are living together
• More families are headed by single mothers.
• There is less stigma today associated with being single
than in the past.
• Singles report loneliness and a desire for a steady,
permanent relationship.
The Single Life (cont’d)
• Most singles are well adjusted.
• Many singles obtain emotional and psychological
security through a network of intimate relationships.
• Many singles practice serial monogamy.
• Some have primary sexual partner and occasional flings
• Some choose celibacy for religious reasons, to focus on
work, to keep from getting an STI, or because they find
sex unalluring
Cohabitation: Darling, Would You Be My
POSSLQ?
Cohabitation: Darling, Would You Be My
POSSLQ?
• POSSLQ
– People of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters
– Applies to unmarried couples who live together
• Less stigma for couples living together
• Cohabitating partners tend to marry
– Have a 40% chance of divorce later on
• Reasons for cohabitating vary
• Cohabitating couples less committed than married
couples
– Less religious
Figure 14-4 p299
Figure 14-6 p300
Marriage: Tying the Knot
Marriage: Tying the Knot
• Marriage most common lifestyle among young adults
entering midlife
• Marriage
– Legitimizes sexual relations
– Provides an institution in which children can be supported and
socialized
– With marriage, one can assume the children had within the
marriage are theirs
– Marriage transmits wealth from one family to another and one
generation to another
– Provides sense of security and opportunities to share feelings,
experiences
Types of Marriage
• Monogamy
– Marriage between one person and another person
• Polygamy
– Person has more than one spouse (of the other sex) and is
permitted sexual access to each of them
• Polygyny
– Males are permitted to have multiple wives as in Islamic
societies
• Arranged marriage
– Families of the bride and groom more or less arrange the union
of their children; found in traditional societies such as modernday India
• Gay marriage and Civil Unions
– Marriage between two males or two females
Whom Do We Marry: Are Marriages Made in
Heaven or in the Neighborhood?
• Young adults tend to marry others from the same area
and social class.
– Cinderella’s story is an exception to the rule
• Young adults marry others similar in physical
attractiveness, background, and interests.
– Similar in height, intelligence, educational level, religion, even
similar in alcohol and tobacco use
• Homogamy
– “Like marrying like”
– These marriages tend to be more stable
• Age similarity prevalent in young adulthood
– People marrying late or remarrying tend not to select partners
so close in age
Marital Satisfaction
• Quality of the marriage affects physical and
psychological health
• Satisfaction with career associated with satisfaction with
marriage
– Both related to general life satisfaction
• Heavy drinking leads to decreased marital satisfaction
• Marital satisfaction decreased with the birth of a child
Parenthood
Parenthood
• Parenthood is being delayed until late 20’s
• Most people choose to have children for personal
happiness or well-being.
• People in traditional societies report having children to
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strengthen marital bonds
provide social security
assist with labor (as in having more hands to help on a farm)
maintain family lineage; secure property rights and inheritance
improve odds of reincarnation
care for one in old age
Parenthood and Role Overload
• In developed nations, conflict and depression may occur
when the mother has to return to work shortly after the
birth of the baby.
• Mother is still primary caregiver
– Encounters role overload
• Not as much stress when parents agree on beliefs about
parenting, role assignment
Parenthood in Dual-Earner Families
• Mothers in dual-earning families encounter more stress
than fathers.
• Dual-earning mothers show a decline in well-being,
while men show an increase.
• Dual-earning mothers with flexible work schedules have
less stress than women with fixed schedules.
• Problems in the workplace translate to problems at
home.
• Mother typically cuts back on work or drops out of
workforce
Divorce: Breaking Bonds
Divorce: Breaking Bonds
• Divorce rates in U.S. between 40% and 50%
• Divorced men more likely to remarry than divorced
women
• No-fault divorce laws have helped to aid in the increase
in divorce.
• Americans today expect more from marriage than past
generations.
The Cost of Divorce
• Divorce tends to affect women more than it affects men.
• Women’s household income drops by 24%
– Men’s household income drops by 6%
• Formerly non-career-oriented women often compete for
jobs against younger, more experienced women.
• Divorced women tend to have sole responsibility for the
children.
• Divorced fathers may find paying alimony and child
support difficult while establishing a new lifestyle.
The Cost of Divorce (cont’d)
• Divorce may cause feelings of failure as a spouse and a
parent; children do suffer from divorce.
• May increase loneliness and uncertainty about the
future
• Divorced and separated people have the highest rates
of physical and mental illness.
• Benefits of divorce
– May permit personal growth and renewal
– Can be an opportunity to take stock of oneself and establish a
new, more rewarding life