Marriage Rites & Expectations

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Marriage
Rites & Expectations
By Carlo Ammatuna, Woody Amidon,
Ian Fletcher & Will Jopling
Marriage: A Modern Definition




Partnership between two human beings
Each brings love, caring and acceptance
to other person.
Mutually beneficial relationship based on
equality and respect for each other
Have children, raising them to be an
important part of society
Views of Marriage
Judaism
 Companionship, love and intimacy are primary
purposes of marriage along with procreation
 Genesis


2:18
Jewish law states marriage is a private
contractual agreement between a man and a
woman
Marriage is mostly explained in the Talmud
 Other parts of the Hebrew
 Ex 20-21 Dt 25:5-10
Bible
Worksheet Question 2

Based on the readings from the NT and
the “DeaconMinistry” website, how does
Christianity view marriage?
Views of Marriage
Christianity
 A Holy sacrament that is a permanent, life
long promise between a man and woman
 Man should leave his parents to become
one flesh with his wife
 Matthew
19: 5-6
Views of Marriage
Islam
 “Mithaq” a solemn covenant, religious duty,
moral safeguard, and social necessity
 Marriage is a natural part of creation from Allah
 Surah

7:189
A way for people to remain virtuous
 Surah
24:32
Comparison
Judaism- The Holy Institution joining of a
couple in Jewish faith to establish a faithful
Jewish home
 Christianity- Holy Sacrament and a symbol
of Jesus Christ and the Church
 Islam- A contract as oppose to a
sacrament, a civil agreement under
Islamic Law

Definitions
Polygamy- Marriage of one man to several
women
 Polyandry- Marriage of several men and
one woman (rare)
 Monogamy- Marriage of one man and one
woman

Polygamy and Monogamy

In Judaism the Torah and Talmud allow a man to
marry more than one woman but not other way
around
 In

1000 CE, banned due to Christian pressure
In Christianity Jesus says polygamy is sinful
 Mark
10:11 Jesus says it is adultery to marry another
woman after you have already been married

In Islam, the Qur’an permits polygamy but must
have good reasons, must treat women equally
and justly
 Surah
4:3,129
Worksheet Question 1

Based on your reading of the websites,
compare & contrast the stages or parts of
marriage in Judaism and Islam
Marriage Ceremony in Judaism

Consists of the kiddushin and the nisuin
 Nisuin

done under Chuppah
Kiddushin- the woman accepts the money,
contract or sexual relations offered by the
prospective husband.
 comes
from the root Qof-Dalet-Shin
meaning "sanctified."
Marriage Ceremony in Judaism
(cont)

Nisuin (from a word meaning "elevation")
 Completes
the process of marriage.
The husband brings the wife into
his home and they begin their
married life together
Marriage Ceremony in Christianity
Seating of the parents
 Bridal procession
 Wedding march
 Opening remarks

 The
call to worship
 Opening Prayer

Giving away of the bride
Marriage Ceremony in Christianity
(cont)


Wedding vows, exchanging of the rings
Communion
 The
first act as a married
couple


The closing prayer
The kiss and
presentation of the
couple
Marriage Ceremony in Islam
Before the wedding, the Mehndi ceremony
is held at the bride’s home
 On the day of the wedding the groom
arrives and a ceremonial drink is shared
 The wedding ceremony
is the Nikah

 By
the maulvi
Marriage Ceremony in Islam (cont)





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Exchanging of peace
A profession of faith
A lot of readings about Allah regarding marriage
State Allah as a witness to the marriage
Bride and groom agree to dowry
Both accept each other



Sign contract of the marriage and dowry
Two witnesses of the marriage sign the contract
Followed by exchanging of rings
More readings: about the meaning of
marriage
 Congratulations

Premarital Relations in Judaism

Jewish law prohibits an unmarried, unrelated
man and woman from being alone long enough
to have sexual relations
 These


laws come from the Talmud
The Torah does not prohibit premarital sex
between a man and woman who can legally
marry
However, traditional Judaism strongly condemns
the irresponsibility of sex outside of marriage.
Premarital sex is considered to be improper and
immoral
Premarital Relations in Christianity
Must maintain spiritual perspective
 God’s word plays an important role in our
feelings and emotions
 The sexual act must take place exclusively
within marriage

 1st
Corinthians 7:8-9
Premarital Relations in Islam


Supposed to guard your chastity
A believer is defined in Surah 23




a believer is one who abstains from sex except with
those joined to them in marriage bond (and sexual
captives)
D’uah with Allah
Arrangement by family and get to know each
other in group setting
Both single men and women not supposed to
look at members of opposite sex without
modesty
 Surah
24:30-31
Forbidden Marriage in Judaism &
Christianity

The Torah/ Old Testament forbids the marriage
of

close blood relatives
 the ex-wives of certain close blood relatives
 a woman who has not been validly divorced from her
previous husband
 the daughter or granddaughter of his ex-wife
 the sister of his ex-wife during the ex-wife's life time
Forbidden Marriage in Islam
Surah 4:23 says
 Cannot marry women against their will
 No marriage to close blood relatives
 Including


aunts and uncles
This does not forbid marriage to cousins
Cannot marry one wives of your sons,
fathers, women who are already married
Quick Note on Gay Marriage


Forbidden by the conservative branches in
all three religions.
Liberal branches of Christianity and reform
branches of Judaism

accept homosexuality
 In some cases would allow gay marriage
Marriage of Non- Believers:
Interfaith Marriage in Judaism
Traditional Judaism does not permit
interfaith marriages
 The more liberal branches of Judaism
have tried to embrace intermarried
couples
 Marriage to a non-Jew is not recognized
as "marriage" in Jewish law

Marriage of Non- Believers:
Interfaith Marriage in Christianity

The fact that someone is an unbeliever is
not a reason for not marrying, staying with
them
 1st

Corinthians 7:12-14
The non believer becomes Holy through
the believer
Worksheet Question 3

Based on the assigned Surahs, what does
the Qur’an say about marriage of people
who do not believe in Allah? What about
marriage between Muslims and the
“People of the Book” (Jews and
Christians)?
Marriage of Non- Believers:
Interfaith Marriage in Islam

Muslim men can marry non Muslim women
 With
the understanding that she will convert to Islam
eventually


Muslim women cannot marry non Muslim men
Some contradictions
 Surah

2:221
It is lawful to marry “People of the Book”
 Surah
5:5
Duties of Men and Women in
Judaism
A husband is responsible for providing his
wife with food, clothing and sexual
relations (Ex. 21:10)
 Primary duties for women are as wives
and mothers
 Women’s duties are different from men’s
but certainly no less important

Duties of Men and Women in
Christianity

Ephesians 5:22
 Women

are subordinate to husbands
“Husbands should love their wives as their
own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself.” Ephesians 5:28
Duties of Men and Women in Islam

Husbands are the head of the family
 In
terms of finance and decision making
Surah 4: 34 suggests men look after their
wives
 It is the duty of a women to pleasure their
husbands sexually
 Similar to Judaism, the duties of men and
women are separate but equal

Divorce and Remarriage

Judaism has always accepted divorce
 Allowed

by the words of Moses
In Christianity divorce is very sinful
 It
is the separation of one flesh that was conjoined by
God and no human is able to break that bond


Mt 10:4-12
In Islam divorce is permitted with a settlement
between a man and the woman
 Not
unfair to the woman financially
 Of all things permitted, most hateful to Allah
 Surah 2:228
Group Discussion

Based on our presentation of the different
types of marriage, which is closest to the
type of marriage you would want for
yourself and why?
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