Marriage Rites & Expectations By Carlo Ammatuna, Woody Amidon, Ian Fletcher & Will Jopling Marriage: A Modern Definition Partnership between two human beings Each brings love, caring and acceptance to other person. Mutually beneficial relationship based on equality and respect for each other Have children, raising them to be an important part of society Views of Marriage Judaism Companionship, love and intimacy are primary purposes of marriage along with procreation Genesis 2:18 Jewish law states marriage is a private contractual agreement between a man and a woman Marriage is mostly explained in the Talmud Other parts of the Hebrew Ex 20-21 Dt 25:5-10 Bible Worksheet Question 2 Based on the readings from the NT and the “DeaconMinistry” website, how does Christianity view marriage? Views of Marriage Christianity A Holy sacrament that is a permanent, life long promise between a man and woman Man should leave his parents to become one flesh with his wife Matthew 19: 5-6 Views of Marriage Islam “Mithaq” a solemn covenant, religious duty, moral safeguard, and social necessity Marriage is a natural part of creation from Allah Surah 7:189 A way for people to remain virtuous Surah 24:32 Comparison Judaism- The Holy Institution joining of a couple in Jewish faith to establish a faithful Jewish home Christianity- Holy Sacrament and a symbol of Jesus Christ and the Church Islam- A contract as oppose to a sacrament, a civil agreement under Islamic Law Definitions Polygamy- Marriage of one man to several women Polyandry- Marriage of several men and one woman (rare) Monogamy- Marriage of one man and one woman Polygamy and Monogamy In Judaism the Torah and Talmud allow a man to marry more than one woman but not other way around In 1000 CE, banned due to Christian pressure In Christianity Jesus says polygamy is sinful Mark 10:11 Jesus says it is adultery to marry another woman after you have already been married In Islam, the Qur’an permits polygamy but must have good reasons, must treat women equally and justly Surah 4:3,129 Worksheet Question 1 Based on your reading of the websites, compare & contrast the stages or parts of marriage in Judaism and Islam Marriage Ceremony in Judaism Consists of the kiddushin and the nisuin Nisuin done under Chuppah Kiddushin- the woman accepts the money, contract or sexual relations offered by the prospective husband. comes from the root Qof-Dalet-Shin meaning "sanctified." Marriage Ceremony in Judaism (cont) Nisuin (from a word meaning "elevation") Completes the process of marriage. The husband brings the wife into his home and they begin their married life together Marriage Ceremony in Christianity Seating of the parents Bridal procession Wedding march Opening remarks The call to worship Opening Prayer Giving away of the bride Marriage Ceremony in Christianity (cont) Wedding vows, exchanging of the rings Communion The first act as a married couple The closing prayer The kiss and presentation of the couple Marriage Ceremony in Islam Before the wedding, the Mehndi ceremony is held at the bride’s home On the day of the wedding the groom arrives and a ceremonial drink is shared The wedding ceremony is the Nikah By the maulvi Marriage Ceremony in Islam (cont) Exchanging of peace A profession of faith A lot of readings about Allah regarding marriage State Allah as a witness to the marriage Bride and groom agree to dowry Both accept each other Sign contract of the marriage and dowry Two witnesses of the marriage sign the contract Followed by exchanging of rings More readings: about the meaning of marriage Congratulations Premarital Relations in Judaism Jewish law prohibits an unmarried, unrelated man and woman from being alone long enough to have sexual relations These laws come from the Talmud The Torah does not prohibit premarital sex between a man and woman who can legally marry However, traditional Judaism strongly condemns the irresponsibility of sex outside of marriage. Premarital sex is considered to be improper and immoral Premarital Relations in Christianity Must maintain spiritual perspective God’s word plays an important role in our feelings and emotions The sexual act must take place exclusively within marriage 1st Corinthians 7:8-9 Premarital Relations in Islam Supposed to guard your chastity A believer is defined in Surah 23 a believer is one who abstains from sex except with those joined to them in marriage bond (and sexual captives) D’uah with Allah Arrangement by family and get to know each other in group setting Both single men and women not supposed to look at members of opposite sex without modesty Surah 24:30-31 Forbidden Marriage in Judaism & Christianity The Torah/ Old Testament forbids the marriage of close blood relatives the ex-wives of certain close blood relatives a woman who has not been validly divorced from her previous husband the daughter or granddaughter of his ex-wife the sister of his ex-wife during the ex-wife's life time Forbidden Marriage in Islam Surah 4:23 says Cannot marry women against their will No marriage to close blood relatives Including aunts and uncles This does not forbid marriage to cousins Cannot marry one wives of your sons, fathers, women who are already married Quick Note on Gay Marriage Forbidden by the conservative branches in all three religions. Liberal branches of Christianity and reform branches of Judaism accept homosexuality In some cases would allow gay marriage Marriage of Non- Believers: Interfaith Marriage in Judaism Traditional Judaism does not permit interfaith marriages The more liberal branches of Judaism have tried to embrace intermarried couples Marriage to a non-Jew is not recognized as "marriage" in Jewish law Marriage of Non- Believers: Interfaith Marriage in Christianity The fact that someone is an unbeliever is not a reason for not marrying, staying with them 1st Corinthians 7:12-14 The non believer becomes Holy through the believer Worksheet Question 3 Based on the assigned Surahs, what does the Qur’an say about marriage of people who do not believe in Allah? What about marriage between Muslims and the “People of the Book” (Jews and Christians)? Marriage of Non- Believers: Interfaith Marriage in Islam Muslim men can marry non Muslim women With the understanding that she will convert to Islam eventually Muslim women cannot marry non Muslim men Some contradictions Surah 2:221 It is lawful to marry “People of the Book” Surah 5:5 Duties of Men and Women in Judaism A husband is responsible for providing his wife with food, clothing and sexual relations (Ex. 21:10) Primary duties for women are as wives and mothers Women’s duties are different from men’s but certainly no less important Duties of Men and Women in Christianity Ephesians 5:22 Women are subordinate to husbands “Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:28 Duties of Men and Women in Islam Husbands are the head of the family In terms of finance and decision making Surah 4: 34 suggests men look after their wives It is the duty of a women to pleasure their husbands sexually Similar to Judaism, the duties of men and women are separate but equal Divorce and Remarriage Judaism has always accepted divorce Allowed by the words of Moses In Christianity divorce is very sinful It is the separation of one flesh that was conjoined by God and no human is able to break that bond Mt 10:4-12 In Islam divorce is permitted with a settlement between a man and the woman Not unfair to the woman financially Of all things permitted, most hateful to Allah Surah 2:228 Group Discussion Based on our presentation of the different types of marriage, which is closest to the type of marriage you would want for yourself and why?