Leadership and Conflicts!
CONFLICT MANAGEMENT
M. Ibra
College of Medicine and Health Sciences
Dental School
G2G Leader’s VUCA times in Leadership
(Need for an open mind and heart to tough times in leadership)
3D Thinking and intentional behavioral adjustment that “adds value”
Intentional Time-Oriented 3D-Thinking Framework!
“Avoiding part-time thinking!”
 Hind sight-Unfortunately it’s sometimes misused for
remembering bad things……!
 Foresight-Desired/preferred image of our future self
 Insight-gives us clarity and motivation to “add value” to
this world.
10 EI Leaders thing need from people &
people need from them:Communication
2. Community
3. Intimacy
4. Laughter
5. Love
6. Passion
7. Sharing
8. Support
9. Touch
10. 5Trust
1.
OBJECTIVES
 At the end of this lecture, students should be
able to understand and appreciate:
1. Why conflicts arise in HS/organizations/Co
2. Conditions leading to conflict
3. Effects of conflicts
4. Elements and stages in the conflict process
5. Ways to deal with conflict situations:
response styles and conflict resolution
behavior
6. Strategies for managing conflicts
CONTENT
1
Why conflicts arise
2
Conflict management vs Conflict resolution
3
Effects of conflict
4
Leaders and conflict management
5
Stages in the conflict process
Cont’d
6
Strategies for managing a conflict
7
Bible and Conflict management
8
Dr. Martin Luther King advice
Overview:
Conflict Management is an important component of
leadership
Some experts have stated that leaders especially in partnership
situations spend 70-80% of their time in managing and resolving
conflicts.
Jean Varnier, founder of L’Arche communities across the world that
give disabled people the chance to discover their true worth and
beauty, wrote, “Communities need tensions if they are to grow and
deepen. Tensions come from conflicts…. A tension or difficulty can
signal the approach of a new grace of God. But it has to be looked at
wisely and humanly.” The question isn’t “Will I face conflicts?” but
“How can I best manage conflicts when they arise?”
The Dental care care team need to prepare for the task
Understanding the processes by which conflict escalates and defuses
can help in preventing destruction
1. Why Conflict arise
 Differing visions and goals
 Personality clashes
 Crossing of boundaries
 Different work methods
 Personal agendas
 Unfulfilled expectations
 Differing view points
 Thoughtless comments
 Cultural differences
Hence, all of these things create conflict in our
life and work BUT problem is not conflict itself,
but rather how we deal with it.
1b. Sources of conflict
Resources
Pyschological needs
Values
Divergent goals
Incongruent role expectations and
behavioural norms
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Sources of conflict
Brain storm some examples from
class
12
Examples………….
 Students blaming a lecturer for promoting a
“greeting” or “meet and greet” culture among
the students and staff
“Some students feel embarrassed especially some lecturer is
teaching and someone enters without saluting, usually, lecturer
stop and asking him/her to greet the class, so they wonder the
reason of saluting the class when a lecturer is teaching, to
conclude they believe you want to show to the whole class that
that person is late and indiscipline”
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2. Conflict management vs Conflict
resolution
 While the word conflict usually carries a negative
connotation, conflict itself doesn’t have to be negative.
That’s why this lecture is titled “Conflict Management”
rather than “Conflict Resolution” – a conflict is not
something that simply needs to be “resolved,” as though
getting through it and moving on are the highest goals.
Larry Crabb, in The Safest Place on Earth (Nashville: Word
Publishing, 1999), p. 40., suggests:
3. Is Conflict right or wrong?
 It is neither right nor wrong- situations result in
negative and positive effects
 Often caused by genuine differences in opinion
or by some change or a decision which affects
some people in some way
 May stimulate a search for new facts or
resolution, increase group cohesion and
performance, and demonstrate the power or
ability of the conflicting parties.
Cont’d. Is Conflict right or wrong?
 They may diffuse more serious conflicts, could
hinder smooth working or the decision making
process, create competing coalitions or reduce
productivity.
4. Leaders and conflict management
The soft skills/personality styles
 Managing conflict is a major responsibility of leaders.
 To create a dynamic and healthy environment in the
organization, conducive to effective working, the leader
should deal skillfully with conflict situations.
 This can only be done if she or he understands the
employees/collaborators fully, i.e., their problems,
interests, limitations and the factors motivating
them.
Characteristics of Disloyal People
 Disloyal people do not want you to change.
They want you removed.
 Disloyal people do not believe they are
wrong. They believe you are wrong.
 Disloyal people do not pursue a solution to
the problem. They believe you are their
problem.
How to deal with Disloyal People
 Do not lie yourself about Disloyal person. Be honest
and face it with your heart
 Make certain that all the facts can be proven beyond a
shadow of a doubt. Gossip is not a fact. There are good
people whose names have been stained because
someone pointed a finger at them. Do not receive every
report as truth. (Ref to Yusuf/Joseph)
 Give the accused their right to be heard. Bring everyone
involved.
5. Stages in the conflict process
 Stage 1:Potential Opposition or Incompatibility
 Step 2: Cognition and Personalization
 Step 3 Conflict-resolution behavior
 Step 4: Outcome
Mapping the conflict
Step 1: What’s the problem?
 Define the problem in broad terms e.g. where the issue is someone in
the workplace who is not doing their fair share of the job, the problem
can be stated as “workload division”.
 Don’t define the problem in terms proposing a yes/no, either/or choice.
Keep the problem definition open-ended.
Step 2: Who is involved?
 Identify the major parties involved. These could be individuals, groups or
organisations.
Step 3: What do they really want?
 For each major party, you then list the significant needs and fears that are
relevant to the issue. In this way you clarify the real motivations behind
the position that has been taken. Both needs and fears motivate: needs
move people toward something, fears move them away from it.
 Sometimes it’s difficult for people to get off their solutions and go back
to needs.
Shift them by asking a question such as “Your answer to the
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problem is to do X. What needs will be met?”
Five styles of handling conflict
WIN-LOOSE
Competition
I try to dominate you and
control the relationship
LOSE- WIN
Giving in
I let you dominate me and
control the relationship
LOSE-LOSE
Avoidance
I try to keep the conflict out of
the relationship OR I act as
though there is no relationship
WIN A BIT- LOSE A BIT
Compromise
We see ourselves as being on
different sides, with a problem
to solve
WIN-WIN
Co-operation or partnership
We see ourselves as being on
the same side, with a problem
to solve together
6. Strategies for managing a conflict
 Effective conflict management strategies can be learned and
mastered. While there are many different types of conflict,
let's discuss some strategies for managing interpersonal
conflict.
Deal with it
 Most people prefer to avoid conflict. I've heard from many people
who actually have quit their jobs rather than attempt to resolve an
interpersonal conflict at work. This almost never is a good solution,
and it usually leads to feelings of regret and guilt. Besides, if you
quit every time you have a conflict on the job, you'll be quitting
every job you ever have in a short period of time.
If you ignore or avoid it, it can lead to increased stress and
unresolved feelings of anger, hostility and resentment. When you
learn to manage conflict effectively, you'll be happier and healthier,
physically and emotionally.You'll have better relationships.You'll be
a better leader, a better team member and a better person.You'll
gain respect, improve your self-esteem and build courage.You'll get
more of what you want.
Think it through
 Before addressing the person with whom you
have a conflict, consider discussing the situation
with an objective friend or family member. This
can help to clarify issues and needs. Seek
feedback and advice in dealing with the situation.
But be careful not to rely on the opinion
of an involved third party who may have
his or her own agenda. Plan your strategy,
including what you want to say, and then write it
down and rehearse it.
Talk it out, face to face
 Meeting in person can be intimidating, but it is often the best way to go.
 Face-to-face communication is more effective than other forms because
it allows for an active exchange of information. It gives you the
opportunity to make use of the handshake, a smile, eye contact, hand
gestures and other important body language.
 It also allows you to observe important nonverbal cues from the other
party. Set aside time to meet with the person face-to-face at a mutually
convenient time and place.
 When possible, meet on "neutral turf" rather than one of your offices so
no one has the "home court" advantage.
 E-mail and letter writing should be avoided, if possible, to resolve
conflict or to discuss sensitive topics, problems or hurt feelings. It is too
impersonal and indirect and increases the risk of miscommunication and
misunderstanding. A phone call is the next best thing when in-person
meetings aren't possible.
Use a mediator if necessary
 If a situation is particularly volatile or
troublesome and other efforts have not worked,
you might invite a neutral third party, such as a
supervisor, to act as a mediator if this is
agreeable to all concerned.
 A mediator can remain objective, listen to both
sides, and facilitate resolution and compromise.
Be firm on your objectives; you're there
to resolve a conflict, not defeat an
opponent.
Apologize when appropriate-Egos!
 Be aware of your own part in creating the
conflict.
 If you've done something wrong or
inappropriate, be willing to acknowledge it
and say you're sorry, even if the conflict is
not entirely a result of your actions.
 Sometimes you have to meet people halfway
to get to where you want to go.
Choose your battles!
 There always will be differing opinions and ways of
doing things.
 Decide which issues you can live with and which need
addressing.
 If you bring up only the most important issues,
you will develop credibility.
 On the other hand, if you make an issue about
everything, you'll be labeled a complainer. Then, when
you have a legitimate beef, you likely will be ignored
like the fabled boy who cried wolf.
Work to minimize conflict
 Take steps to minimize conflict at work before it
happens.
 Work at developing good relationships with
coworkers and colleagues-Get to know people.
 Be friendly and sociable. Everyone has different
needs and priorities and comes from different
cultural backgrounds.
 Contrary to what you've heard, familiarity
breeds respect.
Work on your own communication
skills
 The ability to express yourself clearly will
allow you to say what's on your mind, ask
for what you want and need and get your
point across. There is an expression that a
problem well-stated is a problem halfsolved.
Avoid troublemakers as much as possible
 Don't engage in gossip or backstabbing.
 Get the facts before jumping to conclusions about
something you're heard through the grapevine. Know when
it's appropriate to walk away from a confrontation, and
always consider the source in the face of criticism or hurtful
comments.
 Conflict can't be avoided, but it can be minimized and
resolved. Although avoidance sometimes seems like the
easy way out, facing conflict head-on in an appropriate
and professional manner will lead to better
relationships, a more productive work environment and
empowerment.
7. Quran and Bible and Conflict
management
 Conflict is a part of life. There is simply no getting away from
this fact.
 As a leader, as a human being, you can be sure that you’ll face
relational conflicts. No leadership model exists that will totally
eliminate disagreements or clashes of personality. In fact, the
tension that comes from conflict can be healthy and beneficial to
growth if dealt with correctly. Jean Varnier, founder of L’Arche
communities across the world that give disabled people the
chance to discover their true worth and beauty, wrote,
“Communities need tensions if they are to grow and deepen.
Tensions come from conflicts…. A tension or difficulty can
signal the approach of a new grace of God. But it has to be
looked at wisely and humanly.” The question isn’t “Will I face
conflicts?” but “How can I best manage conflicts when they
arise?”
8. Dr. Martin Luther King advice
 On Christmas Day, 1957, Dr. Martin Luther King,
Jr. delivered a sermon at the Dexter Avenue
Baptist Church in Montgomery, Alabama. It was
based on this very passage of Scripture (Matthew
5:43-45), and the sermon’s title was “LovingYour
Enemy.”Through the course of his sermon, Dr.
King suggested three ways by which we can do
just that.
Develop Capacity to forgive
 First, we must develop and maintain the
capacity to forgive. Such forgiveness doesn’t
mean that we ignore the wrong committed
against us. Rather, it means that we will
no longer allow the wrong to be a
barrier to the relationship. Forgiveness,
according to King, “is a catalyst creating the
atmosphere necessary for a fresh start and a new
beginning.”
Recognizing the wrong and winning friendship
 Second, we must recognize that the wrong we’ve
suffered doesn’t entirely represent the other person’s
identity. We need to acknowledge that our opponent,
like each one of us, possesses both bad and good
qualities. We must choose to find the good and
focus on it.
 Third, we must not seek to defeat or humiliate
our opponent, but to win his or her friendship and
understanding. Such an attitude flows not from
ourselves, but from God as his unconditional love works
through us.
Thank You !.