10 Healthy Missional Markers for Families
*Adapted from the Department of Congregational Vitality’s 10 Healthy Missional
Markers for churches resource
by Kara Stromberg, Director of Children & Family Ministry
Northwest Conference of the Evangelical Covenant Church
These outlines were originally used in a family camp setting as 3 interactive
sessions with parents. The goal was to get parents talking to each other about what
it would look like if these 10 missional markers were central to family life. This
resource is intended to set up conversation and invite idea-sharing. Could also be
used as a sermon series, educational class, or in conjunction with the attached
devotions for families.
1. Compelling Christian community (Acts 2:42-47)
Read Acts 2:42-47. This is a description of the early church community – it’s larger
than just a nuclear family system. But, what would it look like for a family to live as a
compelling Christian community?
v. 42 …they devoted themselves to 4 things:
1. Teaching – in what areas of family life are you being taught? Do you model the
habit of attending church? Do you study the word? Listen to others who instruct you
about the gospel? Is there space for all in the family unit to teach each other what
you are learning?
2. Fellowship – When does your family have fun together? How do you spend time
doing the things you enjoy? What rituals do you share? Examples: date night with
kids each month on their birthday, Friday night game night, taco Tuesday, Saturday
morning at coffee shop, Sunday afternoon football games. This applies to marriages,
too – careful to not put all your energy toward the children. Nurture your
relationship.
3. Breaking of bread – Meals are important. It doesn’t matter what you eat. Turn
off the devices and share meals together. If dinners don’t work for you, try breakfast.
Or make pancakes on the weekends.
4. Prayer – When do you pray? Usually at church, before meals, or before bed. Do
your kids catch you praying at other times? How can prayer be a regular part of
your family rhythms? Are there different kinds of prayer you could try?
v. 44 …of one heart and mind – what if we as parents cast a clear vision of what we
were going to be about as a family? Can favorite verses of mission statements be
displayed on the walls of your home? “As for me and my house, we will serve the
Lord.” Philippians 4:4-8, I Cor. 13. How does your family reconcile after conflict? Is
this modeled well by the adults?
…the believers shared everything they had. How do you teach kids to share? Do
parents model this? It’s hard! We use the phrase “Will you be a servant and…” or
“will you make a gracious choice and…” Let kids see us adults freely sharing our
possessions - they are watching!
v. 45…they gave to those who were in need – again, let your kids see you doing
this. Find ways to do this as a family – serve meals at a homeless shelter, purchase
Christmas gifts for those who are in need or through World Vision, put money in the
offering plate at church, invite people over for dinner. Expand your worldview so
you become more aware of the needs around you. Freely share your stuff AND your
time. Do your holiday traditions reflect this?
Final note: Hopefully, this is descriptive of your church community, too. Is your
family a part of a community outside of your nuclear family that models these
characteristics? Are there opportunities for your kids to learn this from other adults,
too?
2. Centrality of the word of God (2 Timothy 3:16)
Read 2 Timothy 3:16: All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching,
rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.
Something is central in your family’s life. What is it? Technology, sports, school?
What place does the Word of God hold in the life of your family? Do you know the
word? Study it? Does your Bible look brand new or worn? Are the Bibles in your
home visible or hidden?
If we really believe all Scripture is God-breathed and useful, we will make a priority
to read and understand it in a way that informs our decisions as a family. Is the
Word of God the lens through which we view the world and make all decisions?
Often, parents feel inadequate in teaching their children to read the Bible because
they don’t know it very well themselves. I have three words of encouragement for
you: Get over it!  We don’t have to have everything all figured out. Invite your kids
to study and explore with you.
Ideas:
 Start with something that is easily accessible to all ages – the stories of
Genesis, Psalms, Proverbs, the gospels, or one of Paul’s letters.
 Keep a family journal to record your questions and what you’ve learned.
 Bring your Bibles to church and ask people their favorite verses. Underline
them in your Bibles.
 Consider SOAP –Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer.
http://www.ourfamilyforhisglory.com/2011/10/do-your-kids-study-bible/
 Hide God’s word in your heart. Challenge each other to a memory
competition – sermon on the mount, the book of Philippians…
 Put it to music. Listen to songs or hymns that incorporate scripture.
3. Life transforming walk with Jesus (John 3:3)
Read John 3:3 Very truly I tell you, no one can see the Kingdom of God unless they are
born again.
What does this mean? As Covenanters in the pietist tradition, we believe a lifetransforming walk with Christ is central - the process of committing ourselves to
Christ, receiving forgiveness, acceptance and eternal life. What does this look like in
your life? Parents, how are you growing in your faith? And how do we model this for
our children?
Consider:
 Do your kids see you more on your phone or in the Word?
 Do you create opportunities to pray together?
 Can you create opportunities to share how God is at work in your lives?
 Have a thankfulness jar – write what you are thankful for and put it in the jar.
 Consider a dinnertime ritual: (from Kara Powell at Fuller Youth Institute’s
“Sticky Faith”) – share four things at dinner each night highs/lows/how you
saw God at work today/share a mistake you made. Or share what you are
thankful for.
How do you know if your life is being transformed? Galatians 5:22 - you will bear
the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness and self-control). Are these evidenced in your life?
4. Global perspective and engagement (Acts 1:8)
Read Acts 1:8 When the Holy Spirit comes on you, you will be able to be my witnesses
in Jerusalem, all over Judea and Samaria, even to the ends of the world.
We are invited to have a global, cross-cultural perspective as we share the good
news of Jesus Christ.
Consider:
 What cross-cultural experiences do you have where you live?
 Do you know about what happens in the world?
 Are you aware of the refugee populations in your own community?
 Could your choice of restaurants and community activities help foster a
global perspective?
 Read a story about someone from other part of world and put yourself in
their shoes. See “Kids Helping Kids: Refugees” curriculum from Evangelical
Covenant Church.
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Consider an intergenerational mission trip or service project.
Sponsor a child through Covenant Kids Congo, Compassion, or World Vision.
Run a race with Team World Vision to raise money for clean water.
Explore resources on the covchurch.org website to learn more about how
your family can be involved in global mission.
5. Transforming communities through active compassion, mercy and justice
ministries (Micah 6:8)
Read Micah 6:8 He has shown you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord
require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Compassion, mercy and justice is often explained this way: Pretend you live near a
river. You notice people are floating down the river and appear to be struggling to
swim. Having compassion means you feel badly about the people in the river.
Showing mercy would be to throw them a life raft to help them out of the water.
Justice involves going upriver to find out why people are going into the river in the
first place, and then doing something about that.
What does this look like practically?
Compassion starts with education about issues and learning to put yourself in
someone else’s shoes. How do you have conversations about homelessness, poverty,
hunger, water, immigration, sports teams with offensive names, or Trayvon Martin
in your home? Is there a way to have these conversations start from a place of
compassion?
Mercy is when you start to do something about the problems you see around you.
You realize people are hungry in your community so you fill a grocery bag for union
gospel mission. You serve a meal at a homeless shelter or pack meals at Feed My
Starving Children. You send your high school kids on a mission trip. These are all
acts of mercy. Someone told me once that non-profits need two things from you:
your time and your money. Consider how you might share your time and money to
show mercy.
Justice is much trickier, and may not be something we see much of this side of
heaven. But we keep striving for justice and sometimes we catch a glimmer of hope.
We still work toward righting the wrongs we see around us and giving voice to
those who are oppressed and have no voice. We pray God will reveal to us ways we
can help bring justice to our communities and to the world.
This is hard stuff but important because we assume that if our family life is more or
less in order (good marriage, healthy kids, nice house, good school…), we must be
doing awesome. Transforming our communities through compassion, mercy and
justice involves taking our blinders off so we can notice others around us.
If you are overwhelmed with this, consider circle of influence/circle of concern.
Your circle of concern consists of all the things you care about – everything from
whether your kid will pass algebra to sex trafficking. Your circle of influence is a
much smaller circle within your circle of concern. Start by focusing your energy on
your circle of influence.
6. Intentional Evangelism (Matthew 28:18-20)
Read Matthew 28:18-20. Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven
and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations,
baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and
teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you
always, to the very end of the age.”
If we really believe Jesus is the hope of the world, we can’t keep the good news to
ourselves. Evangelism is a loaded word – it does not mean standing on a street
corner with a bullhorn and a stack of pamphlets. It doesn’t mean being arrogant and
starting arguments with people. It’s living intentionally with the lens that life with
Christ is good and ought to be shared with others as opportunities arise. Evangelism
is anything you do to bring someone one step closer to knowing Christ.
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What opportunities do you have to share your faith with others?
How would you explain to someone why you go to church? Why you believe
in God? Why you have chosen to follow Jesus?
Do your kids know the story of how you came to faith in Christ and what
Christ has been doing in your life lately?
Consider the question: “Are you so heavenly minded, you are no earthly
good?” And this: “Are you so family minded, you are no neighborly good?”
Brainstorm as a family ways you can share the gospel in both word and deed.
Pray about this as a family and look for ways to share your faith with those
around you.
7. Heartfelt worship (Psalm 138)
Read Psalm 138. I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart; before the “gods” I will sing
your praise. I will bow down toward your holy temple and will praise your name for
your unfailing love and your faithfulness.
Heartfelt worship is more than just going to church and singing. It’s a way of life –
living in such a way that always gives credit to God. Living a life of praise and
gratitude in response to all God has done for us.
It’s both at church and on your own. At church, you create the habit and live the
truth that you are part of a larger community.
How can you experience heartfelt worship outside of church?
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Listen to Christian music. Bonus: you get it stuck in your head!
Spend time outdoors in all seasons, giving thanks for God’s creation
Read and meditate on a psalm
Practice spiritual disciplines (prayer, fasting, journaling)
Create rhythms to experience Sabbath rest. Consider a day with no
technology. Or create a Sabbath box (a physical storage place for all the
things that will distract you) to help you actively prepare to engage in a time
of rest, renewal, play, and gratitude toward God.
What else?
8. Culture of Godly leadership (Hebrews 13:7)
Read Hebrews 13:7. Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you.
Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.
This one speaks directly to the parents, grandparents and caregivers – whoever is
the leader of the family unit. It’s an invitation to live an authentic, godly life. You
don’t have to be the most awesome parent ever but know that your kids are
watching and following your example.
Reflect on the following: Are you an authentic person? Someone of solid character?
Genuine? Trustworthy? Respectful and loving toward your spouse? Honoring and
respectful to those you meet? Garbage in, garbage out: What do you fill your mind
with? How do you spend your time?
Take the long view. Trust that God is at work in your own life and seek to be an
effective, godly leader. If married, know that maintaining a healthy marriage
relationship is the greatest gift you can give to your kids!
9. Fruitful organizational structures (Acts 6:1-7).
Read Acts 6:1-7. In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the
Hellenistic Jews among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their
widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. So the Twelve gathered
all the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry
of the word of God in order to wait on tables. Brothers and sisters, choose seven men
from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this
responsibility over to them and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of
the word.”
This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of
the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from
Antioch, a convert to Judaism. They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed
and laid their hands on them.
So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and
a large number of priests became obedient to the faith.
This passage illustrates the need to create order so no one gets overlooked and
everyone in the community has their needs met.
How is your family organized? Does everyone have a voice or does someone always
have the final say…on everything? I’m not advocating to simply let the kids run
everything but families work better when everyone has a voice. Or is it complete
chaos – every person for themselves? Remember, every family is different, and there
is not necessarily one “right” way.
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Consider the rules that govern your family, even the unwritten ones. Some
examples: Kids get allowance once chores are done. Nobody eats until mom
sits down at the table. Everybody clears their own dishes. Dad gets control of
the remote when the family watches tv.
Are there regular times for the adults of the household to connect privately
so they can present a “unified front?”
Consider holding a family safety night. What are safety procedures for
household emergencies, online safety, bullying? Create space to talk about
your plans. Resources available through Gunderson National Child Protection
Center. http://www.gundersenhealth.org/ncptc/jacob-wetterling-resourcecenter/keep-kids-safe
Connected Families suggests holding a regular family meeting where each
person is asked “How could you help make our house run as smoothly as
possible?” Connected Families provides resources for setting the agenda and
helping kids own household responsibilities. www.connectedfamilies.orgg
10. Sacrificial and generous living and giving (Romans 12:1-8).
Read Romans 12:1-8 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s
mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your
true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be
transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve
what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
This is an invitation to live our lives as an act of service and gratitude in response to
God. As a result, we hold our possessions and experiences lightly. This has a lot to do
with money but it’s much more than that – it’s developing a sacrificial, generous,
selfless mindset that dictates all you do.
Consider:
 Are your financial affairs in order?
 How do you model good financial stewardship for your kids?
 Are you generous with your time?
 How do you live and model a life of gratitude in response to all God has done
for you?
 Do you give money to your church and other organizations? How do your
kids know you do this, especially with online giving?
 How can you help your kids understand financial responsibility, budgeting,
and the difference between needs and wants?
 Covenant Trust has some wonderful resources to help get your financial
house in order: http://www.covenanttrust.com/resources/
 Brightpeak financial has resources to help teach kids about money
https://www.brightpeakfinancial.com
 How do your holiday traditions reflect this value?
Remember: this inventory is not intended to make you feel poorly about all the
things you are not doing as a family! Instead, review this once in a while to measure
how you’re doing and choose to focus on one or two at a time. As a family, go
through and rate yourselves. Mark where you are strong, where there is room for
improvement and what is not even on your radar. Ask God to help you discern next
steps. Find a friend or another family who will journey with you. Be encouraged!