Nayana Lama
Lorena Fuentes
English 101
Second Draft
05-01-2014
Friendship Network
In recent years, social networking sites have become incredibly popular among
individuals. Each of us is living at a time when a friendship link between two people can be
formed based on our interest and wish. In past generations, friendship was considered special
kind of relationship where a person whom one knows well, likes and trusts in him/her. This
relationship used to have more importance than others. Correspondingly, in today’s generation,
friendship can be found anywhere, anytime and with anyone. What we all need is “Network” to
find them and approach them to become friends. Social Networking sites have become the most
popular way to create relationship between people which is faster and convenient. For instance,
in the article “Faux friendship”, the author William Deresiewicz shows the idea of the change in
today’s generation, how we have evolved from what we used to be and how we are now. He
claims the value of friendship by comparing the value of an item going down when people have
plenty of it. He takes Facebook as an example of social networking site to demonstrate the
relationship of friendship and to show how simple it is to make friends whether you know the
person or not.
True friendship should not be easy. It requires a lot of effort like real communication,
compromise and scarifies to gain someone’s trust. Deresiewicz makes some reasonable claims in
the article where he says, “In medieval society, friendship entailed specific expectations and
obligations, often formalized in oaths. Lords and vassals employed the language of friendship.”
(page- 471) Comparing the ancient time and now it seems right opposite of the classical idea.
Deresiewicz leads us from the friendship of Achillies and Patroclus to under Christianity, on to
the Renaissance and all the way to modernity where we have lost the real meaning of friendship
and what it means to have real friend in person. New technologies have forced us to resettle our
lifestyle and understanding between one another. We are losing very precious connection which
most of us are not aware of but at the same time, social media are taking us to the high life style
making our life easier which seems good as well as bad.
The other argument that the author mentions in the article is how the communication
medium through the social networking sites like Facebook is affecting people’s relationship with
one another. The author contrasts his idea saying, “We haven’t just stopped talking to our friends
as individuals, at such moments, and we have stopped thinking of them as individuals” (Page477). Deresiewiz illustrates how friendship has been devalued and our real friends are getting
distance from us because of Facebook. It is more realistic, more personal and more genuine to
talk face-to –face. While texting or talking online to people, it is hard to interpret emotions to
one another and to know exactly how the person is trying to reveal his/her feelings in front of
other. Due to the increase in usage of social networking sites, the entire range of friendship form
is moving away from us. We are becoming attached to social network that it is making us to
think we need to cultivate some social identity for ourselves who we don’t realize that we are
being more demanding in search of new friends but forgetting the real ones.
The problem lies not in our social media but in the way we think, we act and we proceed.
The purpose of the social media is to connect people which have been proven to achieve success
in our lives. As the author mentions, “Character, revealed through action: the two eternal
elements of narrative. In order to know people, you have to listen to their stories” (Page- 480).
So, how we make the connection is not as important as the depth of the connection, a strong
friendship requires both desire and effort through the years. When the author says about social
networking, there appears to be a presumption that we all use social networking tool in a same
way. Like, Facebook is there for negative purpose. He refers us as if we use social networking
sites for the same purpose, and don’t have other relationship that extends from work, school and
other friends. This has not changed whether the friendship is maintained through letters or
through Facebook. It is true that reading Facebook is a different kind of response than friends in
real life. You skim other’s update and look into their profiles, pictures and status. You can
organize people separately in family or friend group. The point is that it is up to you whether you
want to talk to people. There is not any pressure. It is just an addiction that people are falling into
these days that they are forgetting the reality. Overall, economically, politically and socially the
interaction between technologies has taken wide step changing our old culture to pop culture.
Facebook can be seen as a tool to recapture friendship rather than obliterate friendship.
Facebook and other networking sites provide additional time for people to get out of their bust
life and fool around a little bit. Little things just happen on your way to work or while you are
shopping that you don’t have time to mention when you are trying to catch up on everything else
in face-to-face interaction can be uploaded right away in Facebook to let your friends or family
member know. Sometimes, we also need to share fun moments that Facebook provides an
opportunity to share pictures and briefly recall those moments even if it was just yesterday.
Facebook gives us some extra fun in our extremely busy life. In the article, the author
emphasizes the benefits of Facebook saying, “Facebook has its benefits. Long-lost friends can
reconnect, far-flung ones can stay in touch” (Page-478). The networking sites have allowed us to
keep in tough or reconnect us with long distance family members and friends. He also points out
that sharing experiences and thoughts over Facebook doesn’t destroy intimacy but adds to it in a
way that makes sense in this particular time and culture for many people. This era has opened
our mind to interact with people staying far away. We can tweet our inner thoughts, post what
we want and tell everyone on our friend list what’s going on in our daily life. This allows our
friendship to be influenced by our activities we post on these social networking sites.
Certainly the concept of friendship has changed throughout the history and is changing
once again. There is no doubt that the nature of friendship is changing but it depends on how we
take our friendship and to what level. Social networking sites has increased communication,
brought us closer to our long lost friends but updating every minute on whereabouts is not
necessary. Friendship has become possible as well as impossible at the same time.
Communication enriches relationship but in this era, social network has reduced the
communication that has led relationship to the minimum.
Citation:
Deresiewicz, William. The article, “Faux Friendship”; Yale University. March 2010.