Personal and Family
Issues
Year 12 Revision
What I MUST know
Part A:
1) The Christian views on the meaning and purpose of
sexual relationships.
2) Show an awareness of the diversity of positions
within Christianity.
Part B:
1) The Christian teachings on the benefits and
challenges of divorce.
2) Show an awareness of the diversity of positions
within Christianity.
Sexual Relationships: KEY TERMS
 A sexual relationship is one where two people who are best
friends (usually a man and a woman) agree (consent) to have
sex on a regular basis.
 Heterosexual relationship – another term for such a
relationship between a man and a woman.
 Lots of pressure on people who are physically attracted to each
other to have sex, despite their age or the fact that do not
know each other well.
 The “age of consent” in Northern Ireland is 16.
Sexual Relationships: KEY TERMS
 Homosexual relationship – where two men are attracted to
each other, or two women.
 Age of homosexual consent in NI was lowered to 16 in 2009.
 Lesbian – A woman who has same-sex relationships.
 Bisexual – People who are sexually attracted to both men and
women.
 Civil Partnership (2005) – Allows same-sex couples to register
as civil partners of each other.
Christian Viewpoint on
Homosexuality
 Varies from condemnation to complete acceptance.
 Those who condemn homosexuality refer to Paul’s
writings in the New Testament:
“Surely you know that the wicked will not possess God’s
Kingdom. Do not fool yourselves…adulterers or
homosexual perverts.”
Christian Viewpoint on
Homosexuality
 On the other hand, some are more sympathetic.
 They claim that it is only the homosexual “act,” as opposed
to the “condition” which is to be condemned.
 While others…
 Believe it is all right to be a practicing homosexual and a
Christian.
What do the Churches Say?
 CATHOLIC CHURCH: Base their teaching on sacred scripture,
which describes homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity.
Consequently they cannot approve homosexuality.
 CHURCH OF IRELAND: More controversial!
1998 – Homosexual acts are “incompatible with scripture.”
2003 – Church of England almost appointed a bishop who lived in
a celibate domestic partnership which another man.
Many Church of Ireland parishes, particularly in NI are opposed
to the practice.
What do the Churches Say?
 THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH: Many
teenagers experience same sex
attractions. This can result in some
people being confused about their
sexuality.
 The Church believes they need to help
people to understand and work
through insecurities, issues of
forgiveness, gender acceptance and
self-acceptance before they can come
to terms with their sexual identity.
Pre-marital sex…the Christian
viewpoint
• Christians believe that sexual intercourse is a SACRED act
which should take place only in a committed marriage
relationship.
• CHASTITY: The act of never having sex.
• Christians believe all people who are not married should be
“chaste.” All of the main churches will agree with this.
Why do Christians argue against sex
before marriage?
 The Bible clearly teaches that sex should only take
place within marriage:
‘…that is why a man leaves his father and mother and is
united with his wife, and they become one.’ (Genesis 2:24)
 Avoiding sex before marriage prevents an unwanted
pregnancy outside marriage.
Why do Christians argue against sex
before marriage?
 Avoiding sex before marriage lessens the risk of
getting a sexually transmitted disease (STI). The
Presbyterian Church argues:
“Monogamous heterosexual marriage is still the best
defence against STIs, especially HIV/AIDs.”
 People can become emotionally hurt by having sex in
a relationship which is not a life-long commitment.
When the relationship ends, they can be left feeling
devalued and used.
Single? Why?
Religious
reasons
Death of a
Partner
Single
Life
Divorce
Still looking
PAST PAPER QUESTION: Should
clergy be allowed to marry?
 The Christian Church has contrasting opinions.
 RC Church believes a single life enables priests to give
themselves to God alone, with an undivided heart.
 However, others say, if priests were allowed to marry, more
young Catholic men would enter the priesthood.
 Being married gives clergy a better understanding of the trials
of family life and can help them to relate to their
congregation.
Marriage…What is it?
 Marriage is a social, religious
and spiritual union of individual
people.
 The couple want to make a
commitment to each other for
the rest of their lives.
 Some get married in a church,
while others choose to get
married in a registry office.
 The Catholic Church does not
recognise marriages which
take place outside a church.
REMEMBER: Some
couples opt not to
marry because they
do not think they
need a certificate to
prove their love and
how committed they
are to each other.
What does the Bible say about
Marriage?
SACRED
PERMANENT
EXCLUSIVE
GIVE AND
TAKE
SACRED
 “…that is why a man leaves his father and mother and
is united with his wife, and they become one.” (Genesis
2:24)
 God created marriage and intends men and women to
become “one” through marriage.
Exclusive
 Christians believe that the Bible teaches
that sex should ONLY take place within
a marriage.
 It should only take place after
COMPLETE ACCEPTANCE of another
person for what he or she is.
 Marriage is SACRED and EXCLUSIVE.
 Sex outside a marriage is wrong
because Jesus spoke against it – The Ten
Commandments condemn adultery.
Give and Take
 Paul says: “A man should fulfil his duty as a husband,
and a woman should fulfil her duty as a wife, and each
should satisfy the other’s needs.” (1 Corinthians 7: 3-4)
 Partners must be prepared to put each other’s life
before their own.
The Christian Wedding Ceremony
 Introduction and declaration of purpose.
 - short sermon or homily given by priest
or minister
 - importance and purpose of marriage is
discussed
 Vows – required by law:
“To have and to hold from this day
forward; for better for worse; for
richer, for poorer; in sickness and in
health; to love and to cherish; till death
do us part.”
Ceremony…
 Rings – symbolise unending love

- exclusive commitment
 Warning from priest or minister: “Man must not separate
then what God has joined together.” (Mark 10:9)
 Pronouncement
 Signing the register – required by law (witnesses)
Why get married?
Financial
security
Couple
already have
children
Want the
“dream”
wedding
Fall in love &
want to show
commitment
Why get
married?
Company
Parents
don’t
approve of
living
together
Want to be
together
forever
Christians
don’t
believe in
sex before
marriage
What problems do marriages face?
 Arguments or money problems
 Adultery
 Mixed or inter-faith marriages
facing difficulties
 Depression
 Sexual problems
 Domestic violence
 Health problems
 Lack of communication
 Infertility
 Children
 Bereavement
STATISTIC
In Northern
Ireland it is
estimated that
one in three
marriages end
in separation or
divorce.
What can couples in difficulties do?
 Christians believe that it is important to avoid a separation.
 All churches agree that counselling is vital.
 Organisations exist to help couples who experience
difficulties in their marriage:
RELATE
 Offers a range of relationship services that can help
with a number of relationship issues.
 People find that the organisation helps them to
understand difficulties in their relationships and to
change things for the better, or to prevent small
problems becoming bigger by talking about them.
Accord
 This is the Catholic Marriage
Counselling Service.
 Christian organisation, based on
Catholic principles.
 Helps couples and individuals to
explore, reflect upon and resolve
difficulties in their marriage and
relationship.
Divorce
 The Matrimonial Causes (NI) Order 1978 states that to get a
divorce a person has to satisfy the courts that they marriage has
irretrievably broken down and that ONE of the following
grounds exist:
 1) Adultery – by the other party
 2) Behaviour – makes it unreasonable for couple to stay together
 3) Desertion – for two years
 4) Separation & consent – lived apart for 2 years
and the other party consents for divorce
 5) Five year separation – the parties have lived
apart for 5 years.
Who is affected by divorce?
PARENTS
CHILDREN
GRANDPARENTS
How can children suffer?
Grief – Losing
out on contact
with one parent
Behaviour –
Anger and upset
can lead to poor
behaviour, eating
disorders etc
Confusion Loyalties
Children
How can parents suffer?
Worried
about
money
Fear over
what lies
ahead
Stress of
looking after
children on
their own
Loneliness
&
depression
Parents
Lack of
support from
in-laws
What the Bible says about Divorce
 Matthew 19:6 – “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore
what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
 According to the Bible, God’s plan is for marriage to be a
LIFELONG and PERMANENT commitment.
 Malachi 2:16 – “’I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel.”
 The Old Testament prophet Malachi clearly states God’s
opinion on divorce.
However…
Some Christians believe that God knows that since a marriage
involves two sinful human beings, divorce is going to happen.
The Old Testament book of Deuteronomy says that God laid
down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcees,
especially women.
“If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him
because he finds something indecent about her, and he
writes her a certificate of divorce… and if after she leaves his
house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second
husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of
divorce…or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced
her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been
defiled. (Deuteronomy 24: 1-4)
So…
 The debate over whether the Bible allows divorce and
remarriage centres on Jesus’ words in Matthew:
“…if anyone divorces his wife, for any cause other than her
unfaithfulness, then he is guilty of making her commit adultery.”
(Matthew 5: 31-32)
 The phrase “other than unfaithfulness” is the only condition
for divorce. Jesus seems to be saying that divorce is allowed if
sexual immorality is committed.
The Bible & Divorce
 1 Corinthians 7:15 – “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so.
A believing man or woman is not bound in such
circumstances.”
 If the spouse isn’t a Christian and they insist on leaving, then
Paul says they should be allowed to go.
 Ephesians 5:31 – “For this reason a man will leave his father and
mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one
flesh.”
 The union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a
way that God’s plan is they have become one.
What the Church says
about Divorce
 Most Churches teach that divorce is to be seen as a last resort.
 Honouring and upholding the marriage vows brings glory to
God.
 The Presbyterian, Methodist and the Church of Ireland all
accept civil divorce as an end to marriage. They allow the
remarriage of divorced people in church. A minister can refuse
on the grounds of his own conscience.
The Catholic Church
 The Roman Catholic Church does not allow divorce.
 Marriage is regarded as a sacrament and as such cannot be
dissolved or ended.
 Even if a civil divorce is granted to a couple, the Church still
believes that in the eyes of God they are still married and are
not allowed to remarry.
 However, the Catholic Church acknowledges that marriages
can run into difficulties. ‘In such cases the church permits the
physical separation of couples…but they do not cease to be
husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a
new union.’
PAST PAPER QUESTIONS!
Has society’s more relaxed attitude to divorce taken
away from Bible teaching on the importance of
family?
 More single parents
 More children being brought up below the poverty line
 Fewer and fewer kids have the positive role model of both a
father and mother
 Boys without dads find it difficult to behave at school
 Children of divorcees tend to get divorced themselves
 People treat marriage flippantly and think they can just get
divorced if it doesn’t work out.
 So, yes!
Do you think that a marriage between two
people from a Christian faith is more likely to
last?
 Christian husbands should obey God and love, honour, and protect
his wife as he would his own body. (Ephesians 5:25-31)
 Christian wives submit and obey their husbands. (Ephesians 5:22)
 Christians couples obey God and His word and they do not get
involved with those who want to be unrighteous. (2 Corinthians 6:14)
 This relationship is not centred on me and my, but on us and our as
stated in Genesis 2:23-24 Through marriage, the man and woman
become ‘one flesh’. This relationship goes far beyond physical or
emotional attraction. It goes into the realm of “spiritual oneness,”
which can only be found as they surrender to God and then to one
another.